1 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000 Created and Encoded by -- Hillelitz -- of www.YIFY-TORRENTS.com. The Best 720p/1080p/3d movies with the lowest file size on the internet. 2 00:00:57,357 --> 00:00:58,847 Hey, Timmy, get me a hot dog. 3 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:22,105 Hey, Dave. I like your Dukes of Hazzard T-shirt. 4 00:01:22,282 --> 00:01:24,648 Well, thanks, Sara. I like your CHiPs T-shirt. 5 00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:27,082 - Thanks. - Fun party, huh? 6 00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:29,813 Yeah. Except for Arnie Shankman being here. 7 00:01:29,989 --> 00:01:33,152 Wedgie! Wedgie! Wedgie! 8 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:37,021 I feel bad for him with his sister losing her mind and all. 9 00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:41,425 Whatever. 10 00:01:42,001 --> 00:01:44,765 You know what we should do? Play Truth or Dare. 11 00:01:45,004 --> 00:01:47,336 - You want to? - Sure. 12 00:01:47,507 --> 00:01:50,271 Okay, I'll go first. Truth or dare? 13 00:01:50,810 --> 00:01:51,799 Truth. 14 00:01:52,512 --> 00:01:54,275 Have you ever kissed a girl before? 15 00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:56,039 - Well, I... - Family doesn't count. 16 00:01:57,250 --> 00:02:00,185 - Maybe I'll take dare. - Okay. 17 00:02:01,020 --> 00:02:02,351 I dare you to kiss me. 18 00:02:03,423 --> 00:02:04,515 Right here? 19 00:02:04,691 --> 00:02:08,491 Yeah. I want everyone to see that your first kiss is with me. 20 00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:38,187 Got any mustard for that cocktail frank, butt-lick? 21 00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:52,428 - David Buznik. - I just landed in St. Louis. 22 00:02:52,605 --> 00:02:56,132 - I hope you wrote my speech. - I did, sir. I pulled an all nighter. 23 00:02:56,409 --> 00:02:59,310 I look forward to this, Mr. Head. Never been to St. Louis. 24 00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:02,242 Thank you for allowing me to come on this trip... 25 00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:06,542 Yeah. Yeah. Okay, that sounds great. 26 00:03:06,719 --> 00:03:09,483 If we finish our work, I'd love to go to a jazz club. 27 00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:10,645 Terrific. 28 00:03:10,823 --> 00:03:13,917 - He hung up on you again, didn't he? - Yes. Yes, he did. 29 00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:17,755 He's a jerk. You came up with the idea for the Husky Cat clothing line. 30 00:03:17,931 --> 00:03:20,729 He didn't say thank you. He should give you a promotion. 31 00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:23,926 There's a creative executive position that just opened up, so.... 32 00:03:24,103 --> 00:03:27,266 Bring that up on the trip. You gotta stick up for yourself. 33 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:29,567 I know. I'll figure something out. 34 00:03:30,243 --> 00:03:32,871 I gotta go. Sorry. 35 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:35,947 I'm gonna miss you. 36 00:03:37,517 --> 00:03:38,779 That guy's looking at us. 37 00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:41,614 You know I don't like it when people watch me kiss. 38 00:03:41,788 --> 00:03:42,914 I'm sorry. 39 00:03:44,190 --> 00:03:45,452 Take care. 40 00:03:46,526 --> 00:03:48,653 Okay. Bye. 41 00:03:50,463 --> 00:03:51,452 Dave.... 42 00:03:53,366 --> 00:03:55,800 - Have a good flight. - Okay. 43 00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:05,803 I'm sorry. 44 00:04:14,053 --> 00:04:15,987 I think you're in my seat. 45 00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:20,486 Come on, pal. I'm already settled in here. Can't you sit somewhere else? 46 00:04:21,327 --> 00:04:23,921 You're supposed to sit in the seat they assigned you. 47 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:27,066 Nobody cares. Just sit in the seat I'm supposed to sit in. 48 00:04:29,869 --> 00:04:32,861 Excuse me. This seat's available. 49 00:04:36,909 --> 00:04:38,433 Okay. Thank you. 50 00:04:39,712 --> 00:04:41,202 You're very welcome. 51 00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:45,812 No air. 52 00:04:46,886 --> 00:04:48,376 That's too bad, huh? 53 00:05:00,266 --> 00:05:02,063 You're on my side of the armrest. 54 00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:04,396 We're not gonna have problems, are we? 55 00:05:05,071 --> 00:05:06,060 No. 56 00:05:38,638 --> 00:05:41,106 I'm wetting my Jockeys here. 57 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,172 You gotta get a load of this, keed. 58 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,181 I mean, you like comedies? 59 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:56,755 I just haven't been sleeping a lot lately so I was trying to catch some.... 60 00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:05,588 Look at this actress here. 61 00:06:06,599 --> 00:06:10,433 What is your position on breast implants? 62 00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:13,294 This guy. 63 00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:15,998 I can just watch the movie with you. 64 00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:18,132 Excuse me. 65 00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:20,506 - Could I get a headset? - Certainly. 66 00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:21,905 Thank you. 67 00:06:26,986 --> 00:06:29,386 Probably make out with my next boyfriend. 68 00:06:33,092 --> 00:06:34,889 Oh, my God, it was disgusting. 69 00:06:36,095 --> 00:06:37,119 Miss? 70 00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:39,361 I'll be right there, sir. 71 00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:42,258 Where's your headset? 72 00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:45,803 She's busy right now, but it's coming. 73 00:06:46,439 --> 00:06:50,705 For crying out loud. You're missing important plot points. 74 00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:55,240 Ma'am? 75 00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:57,506 Could you give me a second, sir? 76 00:07:08,027 --> 00:07:09,221 Excuse me. 77 00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:11,756 Could I maybe get that headset, please? 78 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:15,526 - Do not raise your voice to me, sir. - I wasn't raising my voice. 79 00:07:15,701 --> 00:07:16,759 Just calm down. 80 00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:18,801 I am calm. I just want my headset. 81 00:07:18,971 --> 00:07:21,599 Our country is going through a difficult time now. 82 00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:23,298 If you won't cooperate... 83 00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:26,535 I don't know where a headset ties into patriotism. 84 00:07:27,246 --> 00:07:28,736 Is there a problem here, sir? 85 00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:30,976 I don't think so. 86 00:07:31,150 --> 00:07:34,119 Can you come to the back with me so we can have a talk? 87 00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,380 A talk about what? There's not a problem. 88 00:07:36,556 --> 00:07:39,184 - The stewardess just keeps... - Flight attendant. 89 00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:41,756 The flight attendant keeps ignoring me when... 90 00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:42,952 Calm down. 91 00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:45,097 I am calm. What is it with you people? 92 00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:46,893 "You people"? 93 00:07:47,266 --> 00:07:48,665 Now wait a minute. 94 00:07:48,835 --> 00:07:51,429 I don't mean you people. I mean you people. 95 00:07:51,604 --> 00:07:54,437 I will not tolerate any racist behavior on the plane. 96 00:07:54,607 --> 00:07:56,768 This is a difficult time for our country. 97 00:07:56,943 --> 00:07:59,605 I'm not a racist. I just want to watch the movie. 98 00:07:59,779 --> 00:08:03,374 I'm only going to say this one more time, sir. Calm down. 99 00:08:03,549 --> 00:08:04,607 I'm calm! 100 00:08:12,124 --> 00:08:13,591 All rise. 101 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:19,761 - What do you think? - Not guilty. It's a no-brainer. 102 00:08:19,932 --> 00:08:26,428 Mr. Buznik. In case 723, assault and battery against a flight attendant... 103 00:08:27,206 --> 00:08:28,332 ...I find you guilty. 104 00:08:30,276 --> 00:08:34,007 I'm ordering you to pay a fine of $3500. 105 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,340 Thank God you're okay. 106 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:38,348 In addition, to prevent further acts of rage... 107 00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:43,615 ...this court orders you to undergo 20 hours of anger management therapy. 108 00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:46,449 Anger management? 109 00:08:58,237 --> 00:09:00,637 Oh, my goodness. Bobby Knight. 110 00:09:00,973 --> 00:09:03,806 - You're in this group? - Oh, yeah. This is my first day. 111 00:09:03,976 --> 00:09:07,434 - It's my first day also. - I hope this class cures me. 112 00:09:07,613 --> 00:09:09,274 Working on the anger problem? 113 00:09:09,849 --> 00:09:12,682 Anger? Isn't this Sexaholics Anonymous? 114 00:09:14,587 --> 00:09:17,078 No. I think that's down the hall. 115 00:09:17,256 --> 00:09:20,419 Well, the hell with this! I'm going home! 116 00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:45,111 Dr. Rydell? 117 00:09:47,553 --> 00:09:49,714 You don't remember me, do you? 118 00:09:50,189 --> 00:09:55,388 - I sat next to you on the plane. - Oh, yeah, the headset guy. 119 00:09:56,128 --> 00:09:58,653 - Good to see you again. - Good to see you too. 120 00:09:58,831 --> 00:10:00,059 That was a crazy flight. 121 00:10:00,232 --> 00:10:03,861 They actually sentenced me to anger management for that. 122 00:10:04,036 --> 00:10:05,196 Really? 123 00:10:05,404 --> 00:10:06,871 Wow. 124 00:10:07,039 --> 00:10:09,564 This is incredible. You could sign this for me... 125 00:10:09,742 --> 00:10:12,734 ...and tell them I don't have an anger problem if you want. 126 00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:16,972 I can't just sign your papers. 127 00:10:17,149 --> 00:10:19,344 I didn't do anything wrong. You know that. 128 00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:22,213 All right. 129 00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:25,018 How's this? 130 00:10:25,191 --> 00:10:26,624 Just hang for one session... 131 00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:30,387 ...so I can at least say I gave you a proper analysis. 132 00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:33,555 - Then I'll sign your papers. - Okay. 133 00:10:35,501 --> 00:10:37,628 - Shall we? - Oh, yes. Yes. 134 00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:37,970 So my boss, he was talking to me about how many sick days I've taken. 135 00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:41,770 So my boss, he was talking to me about how many sick days I've taken. 136 00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:44,205 And I was like, you know, "Don't go there." 137 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:48,140 But he kept on about wanting to see a doctor's note or something. 138 00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:52,045 And I said, "Look, I'm seriously serious. You don't want to go there." 139 00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:55,651 But he kept talking and talking, being such a nag... 140 00:10:55,821 --> 00:10:58,221 ...and then I just blacked out. 141 00:10:58,391 --> 00:10:59,551 I blacked out. 142 00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:03,320 And when I woke up, I was standing over him and I was screaming: 143 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:08,229 "I told you not to go there! I told you not to go there!" 144 00:11:10,069 --> 00:11:12,367 How do you feel you handled that situation? 145 00:11:13,706 --> 00:11:15,264 Not as well as I could've. 146 00:11:15,441 --> 00:11:20,708 Remember, Lou, temper's the one thing you can't get rid of by losing it. 147 00:11:23,215 --> 00:11:26,378 Now, Fury Fighters, let's say hello to someone... 148 00:11:26,552 --> 00:11:30,716 ...who's joining our quest to get the anger monkeys off our backs: 149 00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:32,983 - Dave. - Hi, Dave. 150 00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:34,148 Hi. 151 00:11:34,894 --> 00:11:38,523 Good news, I fed my anger monkey a banana this morning... 152 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,290 ...and he's feeling much better. 153 00:11:42,902 --> 00:11:46,338 More good news, you won't have to listen to those lame jokes... 154 00:11:46,505 --> 00:11:48,530 ...because I'm only here for one session. 155 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:52,974 Dave assaulted a female flight attendant in midair. 156 00:11:53,746 --> 00:11:56,544 - Nice. - I bet you beat her good. 157 00:11:57,016 --> 00:12:00,179 I didn't beat anybody. I touched a woman. 158 00:12:00,352 --> 00:12:02,377 Liar. Bullshitter. You're a woman beater. 159 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:05,422 You can't admit it because you're a piece of garbage. 160 00:12:05,591 --> 00:12:09,994 I don't know about all that, but now I understand why you're here. 161 00:12:11,263 --> 00:12:14,061 I'm here because I was verbally attacked by my neighbor. 162 00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:16,701 And I took a dump on his porch. 163 00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:20,630 I guess you're better than me. That's why you can't cop to your rage. 164 00:12:20,806 --> 00:12:22,433 You're superior. He's superior. 165 00:12:22,608 --> 00:12:26,601 - Maybe Dave's not ready yet, Chuck. - You're not ready. Hear what he said? 166 00:12:26,846 --> 00:12:29,280 Let's introduce Dave to some of the rest of us. 167 00:12:29,448 --> 00:12:32,281 Girls, why don't you tell Dave what brought you here. 168 00:12:32,451 --> 00:12:36,251 I'm sure he'd love to listen to what you guys have to say. 169 00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:37,855 We always do. 170 00:12:38,958 --> 00:12:41,426 - Come on, Dave. Join us. - Okay. 171 00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:47,360 Okay. Well, we're in the adult film industry. 172 00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:48,693 And we're lovers. 173 00:12:48,868 --> 00:12:51,837 One day, Gina was having sex with this Filipino guy Melo... 174 00:12:52,004 --> 00:12:55,064 - ...which was cool, it was in the script. - Sure. 175 00:12:55,241 --> 00:12:57,732 And then I asked Melo back to the house with us... 176 00:12:57,910 --> 00:13:01,346 ...which is cool, because, well, we like a little variety. 177 00:13:01,747 --> 00:13:03,237 Variety's good. 178 00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:06,042 So anyway, in the middle of our session... 179 00:13:06,218 --> 00:13:09,187 ...I look up and I see Gina kissing Melo on the mouth... 180 00:13:09,355 --> 00:13:12,916 ...which is not cool because it violates our threesome code of ethics. 181 00:13:13,092 --> 00:13:15,424 - Stacy bit my toe off. - Then Melo freaks out... 182 00:13:15,761 --> 00:13:19,128 - ...and calls me a crazy skank. - Nobody talks to my bitch that way. 183 00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:21,493 - So I stapled his lips shut. - Here we are. 184 00:13:23,202 --> 00:13:25,693 Well, we've all been there. 185 00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,940 - I like him. - Yeah, he's funny. 186 00:13:30,209 --> 00:13:31,574 Not as funny as you. 187 00:13:34,446 --> 00:13:35,708 I like that. 188 00:13:37,783 --> 00:13:41,241 - All right, girls. - Let it go. Let it go a little bit longer. 189 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:42,709 Walk it off. 190 00:13:45,424 --> 00:13:49,554 Nate. Didn't we decide that you shouldn't listen to the ball game? 191 00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:53,220 Don't worry, Dr. B, it's just a regular season game. Not important. 192 00:13:53,399 --> 00:13:55,128 He missed the lay-up! 193 00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:58,599 See? Iverson just missed a lay-up at the buzzer, Sixers lose. 194 00:13:58,771 --> 00:14:00,238 Who gives a crap, huh? 195 00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:02,670 I mean, it's just a silly game, anyways. 196 00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:10,405 The anger sharks are swimming in my head. 197 00:14:10,816 --> 00:14:12,340 You gotta dunk that shit! 198 00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:14,679 You gotta dunk that shit! 199 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,719 Listen to me. Stay with me, Nate. 200 00:14:16,989 --> 00:14:18,854 Now, repeat after me, Nate: 201 00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:21,254 Goosfraba. 202 00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:23,292 Goos blah blah. 203 00:14:23,462 --> 00:14:25,953 Not "blah blah," Nate. 204 00:14:26,298 --> 00:14:28,664 Goosfraba. 205 00:14:29,301 --> 00:14:31,428 Goosfraba. 206 00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:33,333 That's good. Slower. 207 00:14:33,505 --> 00:14:37,236 Goosfraba. 208 00:14:37,409 --> 00:14:38,569 How do you feel? 209 00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:40,167 Better. 210 00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:44,438 Good job, Nate. 211 00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:47,279 That sound is a derivation of an old Eskimo word... 212 00:14:47,453 --> 00:14:49,819 ...that mothers used to calm their children. 213 00:14:49,989 --> 00:14:52,048 - I see. - Eskimos seem nice. 214 00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:55,022 - They do. - I think Eskimos are smug. 215 00:14:55,194 --> 00:14:56,627 Hold that thought, Chuck. 216 00:14:57,263 --> 00:14:58,821 So, Dave... 217 00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:00,831 ...tell us about yourself. 218 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:01,989 Who are you? 219 00:15:02,468 --> 00:15:05,369 Well, I am an executive assistant... 220 00:15:05,537 --> 00:15:07,869 ...at a major pet products company. 221 00:15:09,208 --> 00:15:13,008 I don't want you to tell us what you do. I want you to tell us who you are. 222 00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:15,113 All right. 223 00:15:16,515 --> 00:15:18,312 I'm a pretty good guy. 224 00:15:18,817 --> 00:15:21,377 I like playing tennis on occasion.... 225 00:15:21,654 --> 00:15:24,817 Also, not your hobbies, Dave, just simple: 226 00:15:24,990 --> 00:15:26,514 Tell us who you are. 227 00:15:27,793 --> 00:15:29,158 I just.... 228 00:15:30,362 --> 00:15:34,526 Maybe you could give me an example of what a good answer would be. 229 00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:35,826 What did you say? 230 00:15:36,902 --> 00:15:39,302 You want Lou to tell you who you are? 231 00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,234 No, I just.... 232 00:15:45,644 --> 00:15:48,477 I'm a nice, easygoing man. 233 00:15:49,381 --> 00:15:51,906 I might be a little bit indecisive at times. 234 00:15:52,084 --> 00:15:55,451 Dave, you're describing your personality. 235 00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:56,952 I want to know... 236 00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,884 - ...who you are. - What the hell do you want me to say? 237 00:16:06,198 --> 00:16:09,656 I mean, I'm sorry. I just.... I want to answer your question. 238 00:16:09,835 --> 00:16:12,929 I'm just not doing it right, I guess. 239 00:16:13,105 --> 00:16:16,905 I think we're getting a picture, Dave. 240 00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:20,011 - Let's move on. - Dr. Rydell, I'd like to know something. 241 00:16:20,179 --> 00:16:22,340 Why is it that Chuck thinks he can smoke? 242 00:16:22,514 --> 00:16:26,109 I do whatever I want when I want, you little Spanish fruit topping. 243 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:29,151 Honey, at least I didn't make my aunt pregnant. 244 00:16:33,125 --> 00:16:34,956 What are you laughing at, Dave? 245 00:16:36,562 --> 00:16:39,793 Just laughing. I don't know. I'm not laughing at you. 246 00:16:39,965 --> 00:16:43,162 Were you laughing with me? Because I'm not laughing. 247 00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:46,501 Am I out of line, or is this guy pushing me? 248 00:16:47,306 --> 00:16:49,240 Well, how do you feel, Chuck? 249 00:16:49,475 --> 00:16:53,468 I went from happy to angry, skipped sad. Now I feel like kicking his ass. 250 00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,370 Then we'll see who's laughing. 251 00:16:55,547 --> 00:16:58,983 What? Think you're better than me because you've got both your nuts? 252 00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:03,415 All right, man. All right. Come on. Come on, big boy. Pretty boy. 253 00:17:04,890 --> 00:17:09,190 All right. Is it worth going back to the penitentiary, Chuck? 254 00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:12,592 - So he's laughing at you. - I'm not laughing at him. 255 00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:19,068 Goosfraba. 256 00:17:23,275 --> 00:17:26,176 - Goosfraba. - Okay. 257 00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:29,973 Good job, Chuck. That was really good. 258 00:17:31,950 --> 00:17:33,183 Where's the coffee cake? I was looking forward to it. 259 00:17:33,184 --> 00:17:34,618 Where's the coffee cake? I was looking forward to it. 260 00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:37,551 I haven't been to the Actors Studio in quite some time. 261 00:17:37,756 --> 00:17:40,623 - I'm sure your audition will go well. - Thanks. I hope so. 262 00:17:40,793 --> 00:17:41,987 - Good night. - All right. 263 00:17:42,161 --> 00:17:43,423 - Thanks, Buddy. - Bye-bye. 264 00:17:43,595 --> 00:17:45,790 That was a little bit insane. 265 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:49,228 If I had to do 20 hours of that, I'd end up killing myself. 266 00:17:49,401 --> 00:17:50,390 Here you go. 267 00:17:50,602 --> 00:17:53,537 Twenty hours in my class would be pointless for you. 268 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:54,964 I agree. 269 00:17:55,207 --> 00:17:58,699 I think I'm going to recommend to the court that we double your time. 270 00:17:59,311 --> 00:18:00,539 What do you mean? 271 00:18:00,712 --> 00:18:02,270 Let me explain something. 272 00:18:02,614 --> 00:18:06,243 There are two kinds of angry people: explosive and implosive. 273 00:18:06,618 --> 00:18:10,452 Explosive is the kind of individual that you see screaming at the cashier... 274 00:18:10,622 --> 00:18:12,487 ...for not taking their coupons. 275 00:18:12,791 --> 00:18:17,421 Implosive is the cashier who remains quiet, day after day... 276 00:18:17,629 --> 00:18:21,087 ...and finally shoots everyone in the store. 277 00:18:21,266 --> 00:18:22,858 You're the cashier. 278 00:18:23,135 --> 00:18:27,970 No. I'm the guy hiding in the frozen food section dialing 911, I swear. 279 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,265 I'm going to assign you an anger ally... 280 00:18:30,476 --> 00:18:32,967 ...to help calm you down when you're losing it. 281 00:18:33,245 --> 00:18:34,234 Chuck. 282 00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:37,243 Not Chuck. Give me Bobby Knight, or the porno girls. 283 00:18:37,416 --> 00:18:39,213 Heard we're partnering up, huh? 284 00:18:39,518 --> 00:18:41,008 - Yes. - Here's my number. 285 00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:43,745 Great. "You're going to die, bitch." 286 00:18:44,156 --> 00:18:46,818 Oops, that's a letter I'm writing to Geraldo Rivera. 287 00:18:47,025 --> 00:18:48,583 - I see. - My bad. Here. 288 00:18:48,827 --> 00:18:51,159 That's the number. Good. Thank you. 289 00:18:53,098 --> 00:18:55,726 Dave and Chuck... 290 00:18:56,969 --> 00:19:00,200 ...working together as a team. 291 00:19:00,739 --> 00:19:04,903 - It's a win-win situation. - Yeah, feels it. 292 00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:06,908 Dave's particulars. 293 00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:08,969 I'll see you soon. 294 00:19:16,622 --> 00:19:18,749 The Yanks are great this season. 295 00:19:18,924 --> 00:19:21,358 Dave thinks they could beat Seattle's win record. 296 00:19:21,593 --> 00:19:24,926 Remember at Brown when we saw Ron Guidry win his 20th? 297 00:19:25,130 --> 00:19:26,927 Oh, man. He was on fire that year. 298 00:19:27,132 --> 00:19:28,258 We could've been too. 299 00:19:28,467 --> 00:19:31,732 Andrew, don't start or I can't hang out with you anymore. 300 00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:34,998 Sorry, it's just hard. I'll never meet anyone as good as you. 301 00:19:35,307 --> 00:19:37,867 You will. She'll be a very lucky lady. 302 00:19:38,544 --> 00:19:40,637 Thanks for being my best friend. 303 00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:43,708 Linda. 304 00:19:43,882 --> 00:19:46,043 - Hey, Dave. - Andrew. 305 00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:47,809 Good to see you guys hugging. 306 00:19:48,654 --> 00:19:50,588 How was the doctor? 307 00:19:51,323 --> 00:19:52,756 Psychotic. 308 00:19:52,991 --> 00:19:56,552 Well, did you get any good promotion news from Mr. Head? 309 00:19:56,762 --> 00:19:59,663 I wasn't able to talk to him about that yet, but I will. 310 00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:03,996 Not that crowded here. You'd think it would be packed. 311 00:20:04,169 --> 00:20:08,299 I rented the place. I figured it'd be more fun if it was just Brown alumni. 312 00:20:08,507 --> 00:20:10,805 Where'd you go to college again? 313 00:20:10,976 --> 00:20:12,671 Trenton Community College. 314 00:20:14,846 --> 00:20:18,077 You had a hard day. Let me buy you a milk shake. 315 00:20:18,850 --> 00:20:19,976 Later, Andrew. 316 00:20:20,185 --> 00:20:23,313 ... once you cast your line in, so during retrieval... 317 00:20:23,488 --> 00:20:26,423 ...it'll help you to create a realistic and a erratic.... 318 00:20:28,927 --> 00:20:30,019 Hey, Dave. 319 00:20:30,262 --> 00:20:33,925 - Hey. Andrew, what's up? - Not much. 320 00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:36,699 You always try to simulate live bait. 321 00:20:36,935 --> 00:20:41,429 Okay, they got fishing while you go to the bathroom. That's nice. 322 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:43,801 Yep. Bass fishing. Hey, he caught one. 323 00:20:44,610 --> 00:20:46,373 Be aware of your presentation... 324 00:20:46,545 --> 00:20:50,276 ...and make sure that, as you work it along.... 325 00:20:50,649 --> 00:20:51,775 Oh, yeah. 326 00:20:54,653 --> 00:20:56,018 Congratulations. 327 00:20:56,188 --> 00:20:58,884 Now that is a big one, folks. 328 00:21:04,863 --> 00:21:06,728 Always a blast being with your friends. 329 00:21:06,898 --> 00:21:08,365 It was a great night. 330 00:21:08,533 --> 00:21:10,524 Yankees winning, beer and hot dogs. 331 00:21:10,802 --> 00:21:13,862 Yeah, you like those foot-long hot dogs, don't you? 332 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:19,807 So I saw your boy Andrew at the urinal. 333 00:21:20,245 --> 00:21:21,644 Saw his... 334 00:21:22,314 --> 00:21:24,509 - ...thing. - You were looking? 335 00:21:24,716 --> 00:21:26,479 Yeah, unfortunately. 336 00:21:26,718 --> 00:21:31,212 So, now, did this guy grow up near a nuclear power plant or something? 337 00:21:31,556 --> 00:21:33,114 What are you talking about? 338 00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:37,695 Never really seen nothing like that before. Didn't it used to scare you? 339 00:21:37,863 --> 00:21:38,852 I never saw it. 340 00:21:39,798 --> 00:21:40,856 You never saw it? 341 00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:44,625 No, I told you, I never slept with him. Why, is it huge? 342 00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:47,033 No. No. No. No. 343 00:21:47,239 --> 00:21:50,697 It's actually quite petite. 344 00:21:50,976 --> 00:21:52,910 I felt bad for him. 345 00:21:53,378 --> 00:21:56,745 It looked like it belonged on a baby and it had a funny color. 346 00:21:57,983 --> 00:22:00,577 I bet he got a lot of snickers in the locker room. 347 00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:02,753 Like, "What the hell's that thing?" 348 00:22:02,921 --> 00:22:06,254 When you're in a locker room, you must feel good about yourself. 349 00:22:06,425 --> 00:22:11,226 I do. If there are 20 naked guys in there, I'm usually in the top 18. 350 00:22:11,530 --> 00:22:13,998 - Which isn't bad. - You're doing really good. 351 00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:15,497 Thanks. 352 00:22:19,671 --> 00:22:23,072 - Who's that? - I don't know. Let me get rid of them. 353 00:22:24,776 --> 00:22:27,904 - Hello? - Dave, it's me, Chuck. 354 00:22:28,413 --> 00:22:30,643 - Who's Chuck? - Your anger ally. 355 00:22:30,816 --> 00:22:32,681 I'm in a mood, Dave. A bad mood. 356 00:22:32,918 --> 00:22:34,283 A very bad mood. 357 00:22:34,453 --> 00:22:37,980 I was fired from my ice-cream truck job today. No more Fudgeicles. 358 00:22:38,590 --> 00:22:40,922 - What's an anger ally? - Who's that? 359 00:22:41,259 --> 00:22:42,317 She making fun of me? 360 00:22:43,428 --> 00:22:45,623 No. That's my girlfriend. 361 00:22:45,797 --> 00:22:49,927 You tell her to put a sock in it because I need to talk to you right now! 362 00:22:50,502 --> 00:22:52,333 We're a little busy right now. 363 00:22:52,537 --> 00:22:54,596 You're busy? We're all busy, okay? 364 00:22:54,973 --> 00:22:58,431 You come down here before a black wolf swallows my brain! 365 00:23:08,120 --> 00:23:11,487 After I got kicked out of the Army, I went through a real bad time: 366 00:23:11,656 --> 00:23:16,218 Hookers, booze, shooting holes in the ceiling, screaming myself to sleep. 367 00:23:16,995 --> 00:23:19,395 Finally, my parents said I had to move out. 368 00:23:20,232 --> 00:23:23,463 I'm guessing that's when you decided to shack up with your aunt. 369 00:23:23,969 --> 00:23:25,766 Don't get cute, wiseass! 370 00:23:26,471 --> 00:23:27,495 But, yes. 371 00:23:29,174 --> 00:23:31,199 What's with the watch, huh? Am I boring you? 372 00:23:31,376 --> 00:23:36,245 We ordered the drinks 15 minutes ago and I kind of gotta get back. 373 00:23:36,948 --> 00:23:38,415 Miss? Excuse me, miss? 374 00:23:38,617 --> 00:23:41,415 Is this Slow And Stupid Waitress Day? 375 00:23:41,586 --> 00:23:43,679 I'm sorry. I be right with you. 376 00:23:44,055 --> 00:23:47,320 Damn, man, reminds me of these chicks back in the war. 377 00:23:47,492 --> 00:23:50,393 Would give you the old licky-licky, then fry your banana. 378 00:23:50,595 --> 00:23:51,584 Settle. 379 00:23:51,763 --> 00:23:56,223 I have seen some shit, man. I kid you not, I have seen some shit. 380 00:23:57,536 --> 00:24:01,404 Wake up to the sound of kids screaming. 381 00:24:01,807 --> 00:24:03,570 Explosions everywhere. 382 00:24:04,910 --> 00:24:06,775 Never know when your number's up. 383 00:24:06,978 --> 00:24:08,707 Vietnam, huh? 384 00:24:10,415 --> 00:24:12,815 - Grenada, man. - Grenada? 385 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:15,916 Wasn't that like 12 hours long? 386 00:24:20,725 --> 00:24:21,714 Did you see that? 387 00:24:22,227 --> 00:24:25,993 - See what? - That guy. He just gave me a look. 388 00:24:27,699 --> 00:24:28,996 He didn't give you a look. 389 00:24:29,234 --> 00:24:33,170 And I'm pretty sure I heard him mutter some kind of anti-Semitic remark. 390 00:24:34,406 --> 00:24:35,634 Are you Jewish? 391 00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:39,573 I could be. But, no. Half Irish, half Italian, half Mexican. 392 00:24:41,279 --> 00:24:43,304 Let's go give those guys some tsuris. 393 00:24:43,949 --> 00:24:46,474 Well, the guy on the left is blind, Chuck. 394 00:24:46,751 --> 00:24:48,480 I hear you. 395 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:49,909 He's yours. 396 00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:52,085 No. That's not what I was saying. 397 00:24:53,625 --> 00:24:54,649 - Hey. - What the hell? 398 00:24:54,826 --> 00:24:56,487 Got something against guys with hair? 399 00:24:56,661 --> 00:24:57,650 What's going on? 400 00:25:03,869 --> 00:25:05,461 Don't! Stop it! Stop! 401 00:25:05,637 --> 00:25:07,764 Stop! Goosfraba! 402 00:25:07,939 --> 00:25:08,928 You piece of shit! 403 00:25:16,915 --> 00:25:18,849 Stop it! Stop it! 404 00:25:22,821 --> 00:25:24,288 Welcome back, Mr. Buznik. 405 00:25:24,856 --> 00:25:28,587 I see you've managed to brutalize a cocktail waitress this time. 406 00:25:29,194 --> 00:25:32,652 I guess beating up stewardesses can get old after a while. 407 00:25:32,864 --> 00:25:34,957 Flight attendant, Your Honor. 408 00:25:35,267 --> 00:25:38,259 I didn't hit her on purpose, Your Honor. 409 00:25:38,470 --> 00:25:40,495 I was being attacked by someone... 410 00:25:40,705 --> 00:25:43,299 ...and while I was trying to take away his.... 411 00:25:43,508 --> 00:25:44,941 His.... 412 00:25:45,143 --> 00:25:47,805 Trying to take away my cane, Your Honor. 413 00:25:49,314 --> 00:25:52,112 You cracked a waitress in the face... 414 00:25:52,317 --> 00:25:54,979 ...while attempting to steal a blind man's cane? 415 00:25:55,453 --> 00:25:59,150 Your Honor, we're not even sure how blind this man really is. 416 00:26:05,530 --> 00:26:07,691 Okay. My bad. Moving on. 417 00:26:08,033 --> 00:26:10,126 Happy now, ass-wipe? 418 00:26:10,468 --> 00:26:13,733 Mr. Buznik, I don't know why you hate women. 419 00:26:13,972 --> 00:26:15,633 Maybe you don't know either... 420 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:20,834 ...but I'll let you think about it while you spend one year in a state prison. 421 00:26:21,079 --> 00:26:23,513 - Isn't that a bit harsh, Your Honor? - No! 422 00:26:24,182 --> 00:26:25,171 Okay. 423 00:26:28,687 --> 00:26:32,316 - May I approach, Your Honor? - By all means, Dr. Rydell. 424 00:26:32,490 --> 00:26:33,514 Thank you. 425 00:26:43,001 --> 00:26:45,162 - It's been a while. - Yes, it has. 426 00:26:45,337 --> 00:26:47,999 - You look marvelous, Brenda. - Thank you. 427 00:26:48,173 --> 00:26:49,868 - And how are the boys? - Fantastic. 428 00:26:50,041 --> 00:26:52,942 James made the basketball team, Raheem landed the lead... 429 00:26:53,111 --> 00:26:54,601 ...in Fiddler on the Roof. 430 00:26:54,779 --> 00:26:58,374 Raheem will make a breathtaking Tevye, I'm sure. 431 00:26:59,050 --> 00:27:02,918 So do you have a take on this Buznik guy? 432 00:27:03,121 --> 00:27:04,850 Is this good or bad? 433 00:27:05,423 --> 00:27:08,017 Well, it's bad that he's talking to her... 434 00:27:08,226 --> 00:27:09,853 ...but it's good that.... 435 00:27:11,196 --> 00:27:13,858 No, it's bad. It's all bad. 436 00:27:14,299 --> 00:27:17,757 - You think you can help him? - I think so, Your Honor. 437 00:27:18,036 --> 00:27:23,030 If I can't, I'll tear him apart with my bare hands. 438 00:27:30,882 --> 00:27:31,906 Mr. Buznik... 439 00:27:32,117 --> 00:27:35,575 ...because of the enormous respect I have for Dr. Rydell... 440 00:27:35,754 --> 00:27:38,723 ...I'm placing you in his intensive anger management program... 441 00:27:38,890 --> 00:27:40,221 ...for 30 days. 442 00:27:40,625 --> 00:27:44,652 But if you fail to strictly adhere to the rules of his program... 443 00:27:44,829 --> 00:27:47,764 ...you will spend the next year in state prison. 444 00:28:01,012 --> 00:28:03,537 - Buddy? - Good evening. Ready to get it on? 445 00:28:03,715 --> 00:28:05,342 Get what on? What are you doing here? 446 00:28:05,517 --> 00:28:06,950 Well, well, well. 447 00:28:07,118 --> 00:28:08,483 The lair of the rage rhino. 448 00:28:08,687 --> 00:28:11,622 I smell the effluvium of pain and frustration. 449 00:28:11,823 --> 00:28:14,018 - Where should we put my stuff? - What stuff? 450 00:28:14,426 --> 00:28:16,917 We've got 30 days to control your anger. 451 00:28:17,128 --> 00:28:19,688 My approach dictates intense observation. 452 00:28:19,931 --> 00:28:22,764 What better vantage point than bunkmates? 453 00:28:23,501 --> 00:28:25,662 Put that there, Dan, thank you very much. 454 00:28:25,870 --> 00:28:31,103 No. No. I'm sorry. Guys, I don't think you should be moving in with me. 455 00:28:31,342 --> 00:28:32,502 Sit down, Dave. 456 00:28:34,946 --> 00:28:36,846 Let's be perfectly clear about this. 457 00:28:37,182 --> 00:28:39,309 You've been deemed a threat to society. 458 00:28:39,517 --> 00:28:41,849 I believe that radical, round-the-clock therapy... 459 00:28:42,020 --> 00:28:45,114 ...is the only way to effect a meaningful and positive change... 460 00:28:45,290 --> 00:28:46,348 ...in your behavior. 461 00:28:46,591 --> 00:28:48,650 Now we can do it here or Rikers Island. 462 00:28:48,860 --> 00:28:51,158 - Anything else, Dr. B? - No thanks, Dan. 463 00:28:51,362 --> 00:28:53,694 We'll install the wiretaps tomorrow. 464 00:28:53,898 --> 00:28:54,887 Wiretaps? 465 00:28:55,133 --> 00:28:57,567 - Is this your CD collection? - Yes. 466 00:28:58,470 --> 00:28:59,732 Oh, my. 467 00:29:01,673 --> 00:29:03,197 What are you doing? 468 00:29:03,374 --> 00:29:06,571 I don't want you listening to any angry music. 469 00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:08,542 The Carpenters are angry? I mean.... 470 00:29:09,647 --> 00:29:11,205 Don't be naive, Dave. 471 00:29:11,549 --> 00:29:14,541 "Close to You." "We've Only Just Begun." 472 00:29:14,753 --> 00:29:17,483 Songs of madness and obsession. 473 00:29:18,723 --> 00:29:20,486 Who's going to pay for that? 474 00:29:20,692 --> 00:29:25,652 Retard your anger level a few notches and listen to me. Can you do that? 475 00:29:26,064 --> 00:29:28,862 Yeah. It's retarded. I'm retarded. 476 00:29:29,901 --> 00:29:31,061 Good. 477 00:29:31,236 --> 00:29:34,899 Now then, we need to go over some ground rules. 478 00:29:37,742 --> 00:29:39,835 My girlfriend got me that. 479 00:29:41,780 --> 00:29:44,977 You're to refrain from violent acts including verbal assault... 480 00:29:45,150 --> 00:29:46,583 ...and vulgar hand gestures. 481 00:29:46,785 --> 00:29:49,515 You may not use rage-enhancing substances... 482 00:29:49,687 --> 00:29:53,418 ...such as caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, crack cocaine... 483 00:29:53,625 --> 00:29:56,219 ...Slippy-Flippies, Jelly Stingers, Trick Sticks... 484 00:29:56,394 --> 00:29:58,191 ...Bing Bangs or Flying Willards. 485 00:29:58,396 --> 00:30:01,092 - How about Fiddle Faddles? - Under my supervision. 486 00:30:01,566 --> 00:30:04,296 Also, if you are unable to stop masturbating... 487 00:30:04,469 --> 00:30:07,927 ...please do so without the use of any pornographic images... 488 00:30:08,139 --> 00:30:11,768 ...depicting quote-unquote "angry sex." 489 00:30:11,976 --> 00:30:15,434 That having been said, I'm a pretty good guy... 490 00:30:15,613 --> 00:30:17,581 ...and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised... 491 00:30:17,749 --> 00:30:19,649 ...at how much fun we can have. 492 00:30:19,818 --> 00:30:24,187 Jeez, without Slippy-Flippies or angry masturbating? How is that possible? 493 00:30:24,355 --> 00:30:28,553 Sarcasm is anger's ugly cousin. From now on, unacceptable. 494 00:30:29,460 --> 00:30:31,325 Dave, I got this for you. 495 00:30:31,563 --> 00:30:34,088 It's a wonderfully therapeutic tool. 496 00:30:34,299 --> 00:30:37,097 Record your thoughts on this whenever you feel angry. 497 00:30:38,403 --> 00:30:40,633 I'm feeling very angry right now... 498 00:30:40,805 --> 00:30:43,899 ...because I only have one bed and no couch. 499 00:30:44,108 --> 00:30:45,473 Not a problem. 500 00:30:47,912 --> 00:30:53,248 In Europe, it's not considered unusual for three or four men to share a bed. 501 00:30:53,585 --> 00:30:56,918 Yeah, well, that's why I'm proud to be an American. 502 00:30:59,257 --> 00:31:00,588 By the way.... 503 00:31:06,297 --> 00:31:08,424 I like to sleep in the nude. 504 00:31:44,969 --> 00:31:46,596 You hear that frog? 505 00:31:47,305 --> 00:31:48,294 Nope. 506 00:32:06,157 --> 00:32:07,146 What do you want? 507 00:32:07,358 --> 00:32:10,156 I'm just recording your demeanor upon awakening. 508 00:32:11,396 --> 00:32:14,331 Good to see you got your underwear back on. 509 00:32:14,999 --> 00:32:16,091 6:30? 510 00:32:16,334 --> 00:32:18,199 I don't gotta be up till 7. 511 00:32:18,403 --> 00:32:20,166 You've got to make my breakfast. 512 00:32:21,339 --> 00:32:24,502 Dave, cooking is very relaxing and therapeutic. 513 00:32:25,009 --> 00:32:28,410 I want two eggs, over easy and unfertilized... 514 00:32:28,613 --> 00:32:30,945 ...wheat toast, dry, and please... 515 00:32:31,115 --> 00:32:32,776 ...tell me you've got ketchup. 516 00:32:33,017 --> 00:32:35,042 There's a Denny's down the street. 517 00:32:35,253 --> 00:32:36,618 Not only do they have ketchup... 518 00:32:36,788 --> 00:32:39,348 ...but they got the angriest waitresses I've seen. 519 00:32:39,524 --> 00:32:42,857 You could have a blast with the goosfraba thing down there. 520 00:32:43,194 --> 00:32:44,218 Lame-o. 521 00:33:06,451 --> 00:33:07,509 Your eggs. 522 00:33:16,394 --> 00:33:20,057 - Holy shit! - I said over easy!! 523 00:33:25,436 --> 00:33:26,801 Now, why did I do that? 524 00:33:27,405 --> 00:33:30,397 Because I refused to spoon with you last night? 525 00:33:32,276 --> 00:33:36,144 The angry man opens his mouth and shuts his eyes. 526 00:33:37,749 --> 00:33:38,977 Alpha-Bits. 527 00:33:39,250 --> 00:33:43,516 No matter how old I get, always a culinary delight. 528 00:33:43,755 --> 00:33:47,282 No explanation for the egg throwing. He's a psycho. 529 00:33:47,792 --> 00:33:51,125 Don't sulk, Dave. Eat. Sit down. 530 00:33:51,429 --> 00:33:53,260 We'll be off to work in a jiffy. 531 00:33:54,465 --> 00:33:59,266 "We'll be off to work." Now, by "we'll," I assume you mean just me, right? 532 00:33:59,437 --> 00:34:01,962 Well, I have to join you at work. 533 00:34:02,173 --> 00:34:03,435 Full contact. 534 00:34:03,975 --> 00:34:07,467 That will make me look nuts, Buddy, bringing a shrink to work... 535 00:34:07,678 --> 00:34:09,976 ...you whipping eggs at people. I don't know. 536 00:34:10,214 --> 00:34:14,207 You must never be ashamed that you sought help for yourself, Dave. 537 00:34:14,419 --> 00:34:15,977 It's not a weakness. 538 00:34:18,823 --> 00:34:20,723 I mean, I gotta be there by 9:00. 539 00:34:20,925 --> 00:34:23,985 I don't think we'll make it on time. You're not even dressed. 540 00:34:24,162 --> 00:34:27,154 The Talmud says: "Wherever you look... 541 00:34:28,166 --> 00:34:30,157 ...there's something to be seen." 542 00:34:31,035 --> 00:34:32,332 Look, Dave. 543 00:34:44,615 --> 00:34:47,516 - What exactly was that all about? - What? 544 00:34:47,685 --> 00:34:51,348 You just ran through a red light. Are you trying to get us both killed? 545 00:34:51,522 --> 00:34:55,356 I'm a little flustered right now. I have to be to work in eight minutes. 546 00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:56,949 Flustered? 547 00:35:00,098 --> 00:35:02,999 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa, man! 548 00:35:03,267 --> 00:35:07,169 - Holy shit! What are you doing? - I need you to unfluster. 549 00:35:07,705 --> 00:35:10,936 My boss is going to go nuts on me if we're late, so please? 550 00:35:11,109 --> 00:35:13,475 We will proceed when you are centered. 551 00:35:13,644 --> 00:35:15,009 I'm centered, I'm centered. 552 00:35:15,179 --> 00:35:18,012 There's 10,000 people behind us. Let's go, crazy man. 553 00:35:20,651 --> 00:35:23,245 What is that? Is that good? 554 00:35:23,654 --> 00:35:25,246 We're going to sing a song. 555 00:35:25,690 --> 00:35:29,524 No. I don't want to sing a song. I want to go to.... I've gotta go. 556 00:35:29,727 --> 00:35:30,853 Here we go. 557 00:35:31,028 --> 00:35:34,759 The magic of Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim's... 558 00:35:34,966 --> 00:35:37,560 ...West Side Story. 559 00:35:39,237 --> 00:35:40,795 "I Feel Pretty." 560 00:35:41,906 --> 00:35:44,204 Get this moving. What the hell's your problem? 561 00:35:44,375 --> 00:35:46,935 Shut your pie-hole! We're working here! 562 00:35:47,378 --> 00:35:48,606 Wow. Sorry. 563 00:36:46,270 --> 00:36:48,170 Move your ass, dipshit! 564 00:36:58,983 --> 00:37:00,143 Burn in hell! 565 00:37:15,433 --> 00:37:16,593 Yes! 566 00:37:20,371 --> 00:37:22,339 You feel stunning. 567 00:37:22,540 --> 00:37:24,337 And entrancing. 568 00:37:42,660 --> 00:37:44,457 You're late. 569 00:37:44,662 --> 00:37:48,098 Yes. There was a little bit of a tie up on the bridge. 570 00:37:48,266 --> 00:37:51,258 I didn't ask for a traffic report. You're always late. 571 00:37:51,435 --> 00:37:54,871 Now is the first time I've been late. But you're right. I'm sorry. 572 00:37:55,039 --> 00:37:56,267 May I interject? 573 00:37:56,641 --> 00:38:00,099 You were about to say something else before you said, "I'm sorry." 574 00:38:00,278 --> 00:38:02,269 We mustn't absorb and repress. 575 00:38:02,446 --> 00:38:06,246 - Who's this? - I'm his anger management therapist. 576 00:38:06,851 --> 00:38:08,682 You're in anger management? 577 00:38:10,221 --> 00:38:12,621 Temporarily, yeah. 578 00:38:12,957 --> 00:38:16,017 Do you remember the flight to St. Louis... 579 00:38:16,227 --> 00:38:19,492 ...that I was on when they had to turn the plane around? 580 00:38:19,664 --> 00:38:22,462 Yeah, yeah. Because of that unruly passenger in coach. 581 00:38:22,633 --> 00:38:24,123 Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! 582 00:38:24,302 --> 00:38:26,566 He doesn't like people touching his clubs. 583 00:38:28,773 --> 00:38:31,765 Well, that unruly passenger was me. 584 00:38:31,942 --> 00:38:36,436 I got arrested at Kennedy. That's why I didn't make the next flight. 585 00:38:37,081 --> 00:38:39,276 You said your apartment caught fire. 586 00:38:39,450 --> 00:38:42,647 Dissembling is a common tool of the anger junkie. 587 00:38:43,821 --> 00:38:47,416 Might I have your first name, Mr. Head? And tell me it isn't Dick. 588 00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:51,822 - It's Frank. - Fran. 589 00:38:52,596 --> 00:38:54,826 Isn't that normally a girl's name? 590 00:38:55,666 --> 00:38:57,258 What went on on that flight? 591 00:38:57,668 --> 00:39:00,603 To be honest with you, it was a mix-up. I.... 592 00:39:00,838 --> 00:39:03,204 Jibber jabber. Jibber jabbering. Mumbo jumbo. 593 00:39:03,374 --> 00:39:05,865 Denial. Key, key, key, key, key, key. 594 00:39:06,043 --> 00:39:09,342 Fran, your assistant beat the bejesus out of a flight attendant. 595 00:39:09,513 --> 00:39:11,208 - I didn't. - You broke her nose. 596 00:39:11,382 --> 00:39:13,441 I broke the cocktail waitress's nose. 597 00:39:14,919 --> 00:39:17,547 I mean, I accidentally did that. 598 00:39:17,722 --> 00:39:19,747 Dave, you have a disease. 599 00:39:19,924 --> 00:39:23,690 Would you apologize if you were a diabetic? Of course not. 600 00:39:23,861 --> 00:39:27,957 Why do you feel you have to apologize because you're suffering from T.A.S.? 601 00:39:29,033 --> 00:39:30,022 T.A.S.? 602 00:39:30,201 --> 00:39:31,896 Toxic Anger Syndrome. 603 00:39:33,371 --> 00:39:34,736 I don't have T.A.S. 604 00:39:34,905 --> 00:39:38,033 He's angry. It's a sickness, not a crime, Fran. 605 00:39:38,209 --> 00:39:39,733 His name is Frank! 606 00:39:43,881 --> 00:39:46,315 No. I'm sorry. 607 00:39:58,662 --> 00:40:01,256 Clothes for cats isn't really a new idea... 608 00:40:01,432 --> 00:40:05,095 ...but there was never really a line made for overweight cats... 609 00:40:05,269 --> 00:40:08,204 ...who might feel a little self-conscious... 610 00:40:08,372 --> 00:40:10,465 ...about how they look in certain outfits. 611 00:40:10,641 --> 00:40:13,906 That's why I got the baggy sweater on him, to cover up his gut. 612 00:40:14,078 --> 00:40:16,911 And the beret to take attention off his plump head. 613 00:40:17,081 --> 00:40:21,074 Oh, little Meatball. You tie this up tight... 614 00:40:21,252 --> 00:40:23,584 ...and away goes the chin. 615 00:40:23,754 --> 00:40:25,483 I'm so handsome. 616 00:40:28,659 --> 00:40:32,459 - Hey, Dave. This is your office? - Andrew. 617 00:40:32,630 --> 00:40:35,224 - What are you doing here? - I played golf with Frank. 618 00:40:35,599 --> 00:40:38,898 He's friends with my dad. We're members of the same country club. 619 00:40:39,069 --> 00:40:42,095 Really? I've been wanting to play golf with him a long time. 620 00:40:42,273 --> 00:40:44,241 - Is it awesome there? - It's nice. 621 00:40:49,113 --> 00:40:52,276 So, anyway, Dave, how's anger management going? 622 00:40:53,284 --> 00:40:54,649 Who told you about that? 623 00:40:54,819 --> 00:40:57,413 Linda's my best friend. There's no secrets between us. 624 00:40:57,588 --> 00:41:01,217 For the love of Mike! This guy's your girl's best friend? 625 00:41:01,459 --> 00:41:04,292 No. I mean, I like to consider myself her best friend... 626 00:41:04,495 --> 00:41:09,296 ...but Andrew is her best friend friend, if that makes any sense. 627 00:41:09,467 --> 00:41:12,595 You ought to golf yourself. You look a little stressed out. 628 00:41:14,638 --> 00:41:16,162 I gotta go. Bye. 629 00:41:20,311 --> 00:41:21,676 Well, well, well. 630 00:41:21,979 --> 00:41:24,209 This guy's got quite a basket on him. 631 00:41:24,381 --> 00:41:26,508 Really? I didn't notice that. 632 00:41:26,884 --> 00:41:30,342 Do you really want the love of your life hanging around with a guy... 633 00:41:30,521 --> 00:41:34,082 ...who looks as though he could satisfy a blue whale? 634 00:41:34,558 --> 00:41:37,584 Well, it's.... I'm doing okay myself, pal. 635 00:41:37,928 --> 00:41:40,396 Maybe it's the way his pants fit him. 636 00:41:42,333 --> 00:41:43,425 What's up? 637 00:41:44,902 --> 00:41:47,496 - This is your young lady? - That's my Linda. 638 00:41:47,671 --> 00:41:49,764 My, oh, my. 639 00:41:50,841 --> 00:41:54,277 I was toying with the notion that you were gay... 640 00:41:54,445 --> 00:41:56,811 ...because of the kitty-cat clothes, so forth. 641 00:41:57,815 --> 00:41:58,975 What does she do? 642 00:41:59,483 --> 00:42:03,351 She teaches poetry. Poetry teacher. 643 00:42:03,687 --> 00:42:05,518 I love poetry. 644 00:42:07,591 --> 00:42:10,355 Oh, my, my, my. It's.... 645 00:42:10,861 --> 00:42:13,523 Yes, it's a good picture of her. 646 00:42:16,767 --> 00:42:20,533 Well, apparently Dr. Rydell has a history of unorthodox techniques. 647 00:42:20,704 --> 00:42:22,535 He's got a dozen lawsuits pending. 648 00:42:22,706 --> 00:42:25,266 So it's not just me. This guy is nuts, isn't he? 649 00:42:25,442 --> 00:42:26,466 Or a genius. 650 00:42:26,644 --> 00:42:32,105 But if you could prove that he's nuts: audiotape, video, picture, whatever... 651 00:42:32,283 --> 00:42:33,841 ...I'll arrange a hearing. 652 00:42:36,353 --> 00:42:38,184 I gotta go. I think he's coming. 653 00:42:46,196 --> 00:42:47,458 Hi, Nancy. 654 00:42:47,631 --> 00:42:49,531 What are you doing in the ladies' room? 655 00:42:50,134 --> 00:42:54,298 Sorry. I just heard you guys got cleaner seats than us. 656 00:42:54,939 --> 00:42:56,964 Not after I get through with them. 657 00:43:00,177 --> 00:43:04,204 I don't care for the way you've ironed my shirts, Dave. Try it again. 658 00:43:04,381 --> 00:43:08,442 - I've been very patient with you. - Beware the fury of the patient man. 659 00:43:08,619 --> 00:43:11,213 - I'm serious! - Too serious. 660 00:43:11,422 --> 00:43:12,912 Get undressed. 661 00:43:13,490 --> 00:43:15,151 What did you say? 662 00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:17,652 Take off your clothes. 663 00:43:17,828 --> 00:43:20,388 I've got a stress-reduction technique to show you. 664 00:43:20,564 --> 00:43:23,499 - It'll be good for you. - Take off my clothes? 665 00:43:23,667 --> 00:43:25,897 Do you want to see me naked, Buddy? 666 00:43:28,339 --> 00:43:30,000 Are you a homophobe, Dave? 667 00:43:30,174 --> 00:43:35,339 No, I'm a pulling-my-penis-out- in-front-of-you-a-phobe. 668 00:43:36,447 --> 00:43:39,314 Let's take a walk on the wild side. 669 00:43:53,030 --> 00:43:54,759 - What's up, baby? - Why are we here? 670 00:43:54,932 --> 00:43:56,297 I'm not a homophobe. 671 00:43:56,467 --> 00:43:59,231 My lawyer's gay. His boyfriend is gay. 672 00:43:59,403 --> 00:44:01,894 And are they all aware that you despise them? 673 00:44:02,339 --> 00:44:04,398 Looking for company, baby? 674 00:44:04,575 --> 00:44:06,406 No. We're not. Thank you. 675 00:44:06,577 --> 00:44:08,238 It's worth 50 bucks... 676 00:44:08,412 --> 00:44:13,179 ...if you get in the back seat with my friend here and have a little chat. 677 00:44:13,350 --> 00:44:15,079 My pleasure, Mr. Eyebrows. 678 00:44:17,187 --> 00:44:18,916 Oh, boy, here we go. 679 00:44:22,026 --> 00:44:24,586 - Hello. - Hey. Good to see you. 680 00:44:25,663 --> 00:44:28,655 - What's your name, baby? - Melvin. 681 00:44:28,832 --> 00:44:31,426 His name is David. Don't dissemble. 682 00:44:31,602 --> 00:44:35,003 I'm not dissembling. That's my Hebrew name. 683 00:44:35,172 --> 00:44:38,505 I'm Galaxia. That's my German name. 684 00:44:38,709 --> 00:44:40,006 Great. 685 00:44:40,177 --> 00:44:43,408 Where are you from originally, Hebrew Melvin? 686 00:44:43,580 --> 00:44:44,672 Brooklyn. 687 00:44:45,182 --> 00:44:48,242 What part of Germany do you hail from? 688 00:44:48,419 --> 00:44:53,015 I'm from a little Bavarian village called Lickin Zee Dickin. 689 00:44:53,190 --> 00:44:54,214 Care to visit? 690 00:44:54,725 --> 00:44:58,889 Actually, I like to spend most of my time... 691 00:44:59,063 --> 00:45:01,463 ...in Girls Without Wieners-ville. 692 00:45:01,865 --> 00:45:03,799 I'm more comfortable there. 693 00:45:06,537 --> 00:45:09,131 He's just not used to male intimacy. 694 00:45:09,440 --> 00:45:12,603 Well, that's okay, because I'm a lady. 695 00:45:12,876 --> 00:45:14,309 Oops, no, I'm not. 696 00:45:14,478 --> 00:45:15,502 Whoa! There it is. 697 00:45:16,447 --> 00:45:19,245 I feel like dancing. Dancing. 698 00:45:21,051 --> 00:45:22,040 Oh, my God. 699 00:45:22,619 --> 00:45:25,315 What does this have to do with anger management? 700 00:45:25,489 --> 00:45:29,084 - Oh, are you an angry boy? - No. 701 00:45:29,259 --> 00:45:30,817 Do you need some discipline? 702 00:45:31,028 --> 00:45:32,222 No, thank you very... 703 00:45:32,396 --> 00:45:34,489 Oh! Hey! Hey, watch that shit! 704 00:45:34,732 --> 00:45:37,997 Listen, ladies! Gentleman! Lentleman! 705 00:45:38,168 --> 00:45:41,296 I'm not having sex with a she-male! Relax! 706 00:45:41,472 --> 00:45:43,963 Galaxia, you may get out of the car now. 707 00:45:44,141 --> 00:45:46,735 Your services are no longer required. 708 00:45:48,145 --> 00:45:49,407 You know what? 709 00:45:49,813 --> 00:45:51,508 You guys are freaks. 710 00:45:54,251 --> 00:45:55,809 Give me the tape recorder. 711 00:45:58,422 --> 00:45:59,582 Come on. 712 00:46:02,359 --> 00:46:04,759 Patient number 135, David Buznik... 713 00:46:04,928 --> 00:46:08,694 ...has learned the difference between unhealthy anger and righteous anger. 714 00:46:08,866 --> 00:46:13,394 Thus he has advanced to the second level of my program. 715 00:46:13,604 --> 00:46:16,004 Great. Can I go throw up now? 716 00:46:21,545 --> 00:46:23,809 I'm a lady. Oops, no, I'm not. 717 00:46:23,981 --> 00:46:26,711 - Whoa, there it is. - I feel like dancing. 718 00:46:26,950 --> 00:46:30,113 Wasn't that sick? She looked like Olivia Newton-John... 719 00:46:30,287 --> 00:46:34,121 ...if she was really ugly and had huge balls. 720 00:46:34,291 --> 00:46:36,953 But Buddy didn't order you to have sex. 721 00:46:37,127 --> 00:46:38,958 I'm getting a call. Please hang on. 722 00:46:39,496 --> 00:46:41,794 - Hello? - Is Buddy there? 723 00:46:42,499 --> 00:46:44,626 No, he's in the shower right now. 724 00:46:44,835 --> 00:46:46,462 This is Becky, his assistant. 725 00:46:46,637 --> 00:46:48,798 Just tell him his mom called from Boston. 726 00:46:49,006 --> 00:46:51,998 She said she's having some minor surgery. 727 00:46:52,176 --> 00:46:57,375 It's not serious, but she'll be at Boston County Hospital for the next two days. 728 00:47:09,226 --> 00:47:13,856 Miracles of modern science. I am stimulating my hair follicles... 729 00:47:14,031 --> 00:47:16,226 ...and brushing my teeth at the same time. 730 00:47:16,934 --> 00:47:18,799 It looks really good. 731 00:47:21,939 --> 00:47:22,928 What's the matter? 732 00:47:23,273 --> 00:47:26,902 Your mom. They took her to the hospital, Buddy. 733 00:47:27,511 --> 00:47:28,978 What's wrong with my mother? 734 00:47:29,146 --> 00:47:32,047 She's having surgery. 735 00:47:32,216 --> 00:47:33,274 I'm sorry. 736 00:47:33,450 --> 00:47:37,113 - Is it serious? - When is surgery not serious? 737 00:47:37,454 --> 00:47:39,820 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. 738 00:47:40,023 --> 00:47:42,958 Maybe I better get up to Boston... 739 00:47:43,126 --> 00:47:46,118 ...see what's going on up there. 740 00:47:46,296 --> 00:47:49,754 Yeah. Yeah. Why don't you just go up there. 741 00:47:50,133 --> 00:47:53,068 Spend some quality time. I'll stay here. 742 00:47:53,237 --> 00:47:54,864 It'll be good for you guys. 743 00:47:55,038 --> 00:47:56,471 Oh, God. 744 00:48:01,545 --> 00:48:05,242 You're all I got, Mom. Please don't leave me. 745 00:48:10,921 --> 00:48:13,719 No more clam chowder. 746 00:48:16,159 --> 00:48:17,148 Buddy... 747 00:48:17,327 --> 00:48:18,817 ...it was a joke. 748 00:48:19,429 --> 00:48:22,023 I'm sorry. You don't have to cry anymore. 749 00:48:24,001 --> 00:48:25,935 - A joke? - Yeah. 750 00:48:26,169 --> 00:48:27,761 Oh, boy. 751 00:48:28,005 --> 00:48:30,701 A joke. A jo... I.... 752 00:48:30,908 --> 00:48:33,240 I can't believe that I fell for that one. 753 00:48:35,412 --> 00:48:38,142 I really thought my mother was having surgery. 754 00:48:39,650 --> 00:48:42,050 I'm going to get you back for that one. 755 00:48:46,089 --> 00:48:49,252 Just so you know, she really is having surgery. 756 00:48:52,095 --> 00:48:54,290 I thought you said you were joking. 757 00:48:54,498 --> 00:48:56,625 No, the serious part was the joke. 758 00:48:56,833 --> 00:49:00,166 She's having surgery, but just minor surgery. 759 00:49:01,104 --> 00:49:04,505 Maybe I better get up to Boston... 760 00:49:04,708 --> 00:49:07,871 ...see what's really going on up there. 761 00:49:08,045 --> 00:49:11,640 Why don't you... ? You just shoot up there. I'll be here. 762 00:49:15,852 --> 00:49:16,841 What? 763 00:49:17,254 --> 00:49:20,849 - I can't believe he's making me go. - How come you guys aren't flying? 764 00:49:21,024 --> 00:49:25,085 Because Dr. Cocoa Puff said legally I'm not allowed to get on a plane. 765 00:49:25,262 --> 00:49:27,958 Meanwhile, I've got Head up my ass about that catalog. 766 00:49:28,131 --> 00:49:30,895 I've got to get it done with nut-boy in Boston. 767 00:49:31,134 --> 00:49:33,125 Why can't Head write his own catalog? 768 00:49:33,303 --> 00:49:35,737 Because I've got to earn that promotion. 769 00:49:35,906 --> 00:49:38,807 You've been doing his job for years. You should be his... 770 00:49:38,976 --> 00:49:41,877 I'm sorry. I know this is really stressing you out. 771 00:49:42,045 --> 00:49:45,139 I'm sure that it's going to be over before you know it. 772 00:49:45,315 --> 00:49:48,478 Yeah, if I don't get caught popping any Jelly Stingers. 773 00:49:48,652 --> 00:49:50,620 Well, that's going to be tough! 774 00:50:01,331 --> 00:50:03,390 Oh, God. There he is. 775 00:50:03,567 --> 00:50:05,501 - That's him? - Yes. 776 00:50:08,572 --> 00:50:11,166 What? Oh. Okay, I'll hold that. 777 00:50:11,575 --> 00:50:12,564 My... 778 00:50:12,743 --> 00:50:14,404 The quiet warmth 779 00:50:14,578 --> 00:50:19,311 Smoldering beneath the rituals Of hope for familiarity 780 00:50:19,583 --> 00:50:22,279 A coursing underground river 781 00:50:22,452 --> 00:50:25,819 Pregnant with the chance currents Of knowledge and love 782 00:50:25,989 --> 00:50:29,322 - What? - That's my poem! I wrote that. 783 00:50:29,493 --> 00:50:30,755 I know. 784 00:50:30,927 --> 00:50:33,259 That is your poem. I love that poem. 785 00:50:33,430 --> 00:50:36,024 I found it crumpled up behind the sports pages... 786 00:50:36,199 --> 00:50:38,292 ...on the floor of David's bedroom. 787 00:50:39,603 --> 00:50:44,097 - Shades of early Emily Dickinson. - Who was great on Police Woman. 788 00:50:44,374 --> 00:50:48,777 Thank you. And thank you for rescuing it from the floor. 789 00:50:50,213 --> 00:50:52,443 I think I better get going. 790 00:50:53,450 --> 00:50:56,749 I'll miss you, big guy, so take good care. 791 00:50:56,920 --> 00:50:58,785 - How about a kiss? - I'd love a kiss. 792 00:50:58,955 --> 00:51:01,719 I think she's talking to me. I think I can handle it. 793 00:51:01,892 --> 00:51:04,292 So why don't you back up an inch or two. 794 00:51:04,461 --> 00:51:05,553 Got it. 795 00:51:06,730 --> 00:51:08,493 Thank you. And, take care. 796 00:51:08,732 --> 00:51:10,791 Have a great trip, you guys. 797 00:51:10,967 --> 00:51:12,229 Oh, we will. 798 00:51:12,402 --> 00:51:13,664 Bye. 799 00:51:19,910 --> 00:51:20,934 What? 800 00:51:21,111 --> 00:51:24,444 Some mindless nitwit is parked behind me. 801 00:51:24,648 --> 00:51:26,115 Good. Then we can't go. 802 00:51:26,283 --> 00:51:27,841 No, I can get out. 803 00:51:28,118 --> 00:51:30,985 - Get in. - I don't know how you'll get out. 804 00:51:31,488 --> 00:51:35,185 Try to wiggle out, you're going to get a ding. But you know everything. 805 00:51:40,564 --> 00:51:41,690 What's he doing? 806 00:51:50,173 --> 00:51:53,336 Well, you're batting a thousand... 807 00:51:53,543 --> 00:51:55,272 ...in craziness. 808 00:51:58,215 --> 00:52:00,012 Now we're bumping into cars. 809 00:52:00,183 --> 00:52:02,845 I'm just making a little room to back up. 810 00:52:03,019 --> 00:52:04,987 If I had lost my temper... 811 00:52:05,155 --> 00:52:07,487 ...would I have had the presence of mind... 812 00:52:07,657 --> 00:52:10,626 ...to leave my card and my insurance information? 813 00:52:10,794 --> 00:52:14,389 Whatever, Mr. Insane-Vein-Popping- A-Little-Too-Far-Out-Of-His-Head-... 814 00:52:14,564 --> 00:52:16,088 ...While-Swinging-The-Bat Guy. 815 00:52:24,174 --> 00:52:26,472 I think you've got room to back up. 816 00:52:39,222 --> 00:52:42,020 Why haven't you taken Linda off the market? 817 00:52:42,192 --> 00:52:43,591 Think you can do better? 818 00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:46,991 I'm going to ask her to marry me when I'm ready. 819 00:52:47,164 --> 00:52:50,190 Nobody wants to settle down with a 35-year-old secretary. 820 00:52:50,367 --> 00:52:51,857 Procrastination, Dave. 821 00:52:52,035 --> 00:52:53,468 I'm not procrastinating. 822 00:52:53,637 --> 00:52:56,071 I even think about how I'm going to pop the question. 823 00:52:56,239 --> 00:52:59,834 Husky down jacket. Husky Eskimo look. 824 00:53:00,010 --> 00:53:03,844 What's your plan, ask her at a Yankee game? 825 00:53:05,081 --> 00:53:06,946 Actually, yes. How did you know? 826 00:53:07,117 --> 00:53:09,449 I said the corniest thing I could think of. 827 00:53:09,653 --> 00:53:12,622 If you knew Linda, you'd know how uncorny it would be to her. 828 00:53:12,789 --> 00:53:15,485 Putting up a "Marry me, please" on the scoreboard... 829 00:53:15,659 --> 00:53:18,992 ...proclaiming my love for her in front of thousands of strangers. 830 00:53:19,696 --> 00:53:23,757 As you seem to have noticed, I'm a little bit jumpy with public affection. 831 00:53:24,501 --> 00:53:26,969 You seemed to be lovey-dovey back there. 832 00:53:28,371 --> 00:53:31,067 Glad you think that's funny. I gotta work. 833 00:53:48,491 --> 00:53:50,959 A five-hour trip to find out Mommy had a jelly bean... 834 00:53:51,127 --> 00:53:52,219 ...removed from her nose. 835 00:53:52,395 --> 00:53:54,795 I'm glad I missed work. Can we eat now? 836 00:54:13,116 --> 00:54:15,084 You could have her, you know. 837 00:54:16,987 --> 00:54:20,150 I'm sure she'd love to hang out with a goofy secretary... 838 00:54:20,323 --> 00:54:22,883 ...whose only talent is nostril wiggling. 839 00:54:23,660 --> 00:54:25,992 - Girls love that. - Dave... 840 00:54:26,162 --> 00:54:30,030 ...you've got a lot more going for you than wiggly nostrils. 841 00:54:30,233 --> 00:54:32,997 I want you to go over there and ask that woman out. 842 00:54:33,670 --> 00:54:34,898 No, I got a girlfriend. 843 00:54:35,839 --> 00:54:40,242 I'm not telling you to elope with her. Just go over and flirt a little bit. 844 00:54:40,410 --> 00:54:43,379 Flirting is cheating's ugly cousin, Buddy. 845 00:54:43,613 --> 00:54:45,274 I'm not a cheater. 846 00:54:45,615 --> 00:54:49,142 Is it cheating if you're passed around the cell block like a peace pipe? 847 00:54:49,319 --> 00:54:54,484 Because that is what's on the docket for you if you don't go and ask her out. 848 00:54:54,658 --> 00:54:55,852 Okay, Dave? 849 00:54:56,826 --> 00:54:58,020 Oh, God. 850 00:55:02,432 --> 00:55:04,093 That's my boy. 851 00:55:08,872 --> 00:55:10,396 Excuse me. 852 00:55:11,541 --> 00:55:15,272 I was wondering if I could buy you a drink. I see that you have a drink... 853 00:55:15,445 --> 00:55:18,812 ...but I could get you another when you're through with that one. 854 00:55:20,083 --> 00:55:22,017 Bite me. 855 00:55:23,486 --> 00:55:26,080 Nice meeting you. Okay. 856 00:55:30,627 --> 00:55:32,720 Can you guess why she rejected you? 857 00:55:32,896 --> 00:55:37,162 She wanted to be like the 2000 other girls who said that to me growing up? 858 00:55:37,334 --> 00:55:39,894 No. Self-hypnotic negative imagery. 859 00:55:40,403 --> 00:55:44,066 Confidence is the key to winning a young lady's attention. 860 00:55:44,941 --> 00:55:46,909 Now, listen to me very carefully. 861 00:55:47,077 --> 00:55:49,671 - Approach Miss Thing again. - No. 862 00:55:49,913 --> 00:55:50,937 With confidence. 863 00:55:51,114 --> 00:55:53,241 And if she says no this time... 864 00:55:53,416 --> 00:55:56,749 ...I will admit that I am a failure as a therapist... 865 00:55:56,920 --> 00:55:59,081 ...and release you from my program. 866 00:55:59,389 --> 00:56:01,619 You'll release me from your program? 867 00:56:10,934 --> 00:56:13,334 Just go over there and repeat the following... 868 00:56:13,937 --> 00:56:15,234 ...verbatim: 869 00:56:15,572 --> 00:56:18,006 I'm sorry I was so rude before... 870 00:56:18,174 --> 00:56:21,541 ...but it's difficult for me to express myself... 871 00:56:21,711 --> 00:56:25,670 ...when I'm on the verge of exploding in my pants. 872 00:56:29,753 --> 00:56:31,983 - Get out of here. - Trust me, Dave. 873 00:56:32,322 --> 00:56:35,723 If you are calm as well as witty, she will respond. 874 00:56:35,892 --> 00:56:39,293 Witty went out the window with the pants explosion thing, thanks. 875 00:56:39,829 --> 00:56:41,729 My offer stands. 876 00:56:46,236 --> 00:56:48,170 So if I repeat that crazy shit... 877 00:56:48,438 --> 00:56:52,499 ...you probably stole from a porno flick, you sick bastard... 878 00:56:52,976 --> 00:56:54,773 ...and get rejected... 879 00:56:55,011 --> 00:56:57,002 ...you'll release me from the program? 880 00:56:57,680 --> 00:56:58,669 Exactly. 881 00:56:59,349 --> 00:57:00,907 Here we go. 882 00:57:03,820 --> 00:57:05,845 Go get them, Mr. Johnson. 883 00:57:31,514 --> 00:57:35,974 I'm sorry I was so rude before... 884 00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:42,656 ...but it's difficult for me... 885 00:57:43,560 --> 00:57:47,291 ...to express myself... 886 00:58:00,944 --> 00:58:03,936 ...when I am on the verge... 887 00:58:06,516 --> 00:58:09,781 ...of exploding in my pants. 888 00:58:13,156 --> 00:58:16,250 You are too cute. 889 00:58:16,993 --> 00:58:18,426 Get the fuck out of here. 890 00:58:21,164 --> 00:58:23,155 - I'm Kendra. - I'm Dave. 891 00:58:23,433 --> 00:58:24,627 Let me buy you a drink. 892 00:58:26,102 --> 00:58:27,967 Can I get a cosmopolitan? 893 00:58:36,646 --> 00:58:38,341 I couldn't take it anymore... 894 00:58:38,548 --> 00:58:41,847 ...so finally I just tell my boss: 895 00:58:42,085 --> 00:58:46,112 "Hey, baldy, if I want crap out of you, I'll squeeze your head." 896 00:58:46,623 --> 00:58:50,457 - I didn't say that, but I should have. - You are so funny. 897 00:58:50,660 --> 00:58:53,629 Too bad you're leaving town. We could have fun together. 898 00:58:54,998 --> 00:58:57,660 Unfortunately, I am leaving in the morning. 899 00:58:57,834 --> 00:59:00,166 In fact, I think I gotta get back to my friend. 900 00:59:08,478 --> 00:59:09,502 What's the matter? 901 00:59:10,813 --> 00:59:13,008 - You gotta be kidding me. - What's wrong? 902 00:59:13,216 --> 00:59:15,081 My friend took off on me. 903 00:59:15,318 --> 00:59:17,149 I can give you a ride. 904 00:59:17,420 --> 00:59:19,251 I don't even know where the guy lives. 905 00:59:19,422 --> 00:59:22,448 We can hang out at my place until you get in touch with him. 906 00:59:29,899 --> 00:59:32,561 I bet there's like 50 Rydells in here. 907 00:59:32,769 --> 00:59:35,135 I shouldn't eat this. I'm getting so fat. 908 00:59:35,438 --> 00:59:37,065 What? You're not fat. 909 00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:40,004 My clothes hide it, but I'm getting gooey right here. 910 00:59:40,276 --> 00:59:41,709 I don't see any goo. 911 00:59:41,945 --> 00:59:44,436 You want to see goo, I'll show you my ass. 912 00:59:44,781 --> 00:59:47,682 Well, I see it, and I didn't five years ago. 913 00:59:47,850 --> 00:59:50,717 I went out with this guy, and he wouldn't sleep with me. 914 00:59:50,887 --> 00:59:54,880 And I asked him why, and he said that when he saw me without my clothes... 915 00:59:55,792 --> 00:59:57,487 ...that I look like a porker. 916 00:59:57,660 --> 01:00:01,289 He was probably just nervous because you're beautiful and.... 917 01:00:01,631 --> 01:00:04,657 Anyways, you're not a porker. You're the un-porker. 918 01:00:04,834 --> 01:00:06,699 You're Sizzlean. 919 01:00:09,539 --> 01:00:13,031 - You're so sweet, Dave. - Well, you're sweet, Kendra. 920 01:00:13,242 --> 01:00:17,269 Thanks for having me here. He said her name was Rose. 921 01:00:17,547 --> 01:00:18,946 Rose. 922 01:00:20,450 --> 01:00:23,283 Rose Rydell. Rose Rydell. Rose Rydell. 923 01:00:23,453 --> 01:00:25,648 Rose Rydell! I got it! 924 01:00:30,293 --> 01:00:31,282 Kendra... 925 01:00:32,395 --> 01:00:35,558 ...even though I'd love to see you take that bra off... 926 01:00:35,798 --> 01:00:40,098 ...because it represents a team I've hated my entire life... 927 01:00:40,503 --> 01:00:42,562 ...I think you gotta keep it on. 928 01:00:42,739 --> 01:00:43,831 Why? 929 01:00:44,741 --> 01:00:47,141 Because I got a girlfriend. 930 01:00:49,779 --> 01:00:51,906 I'm not a child, Dave. 931 01:00:52,115 --> 01:00:55,448 If you think I'm a porker, then just come right out and say it. 932 01:00:55,652 --> 01:00:57,347 No. I don't think you're a porker. 933 01:00:57,520 --> 01:01:00,318 Then why when the idea of sleeping with me comes up... 934 01:01:00,490 --> 01:01:02,788 ...do you all of a sudden have a "girlfriend"? 935 01:01:02,959 --> 01:01:05,519 Because I do. I do. I have a girlfriend. 936 01:01:05,695 --> 01:01:07,595 Said the liar to the beached whale! 937 01:01:07,764 --> 01:01:09,197 You're not a beached whale. 938 01:01:09,365 --> 01:01:11,731 If anything, you could even gain a few pounds. 939 01:01:12,835 --> 01:01:15,235 So now I'm too skinny for you? 940 01:01:15,505 --> 01:01:16,802 No. I didn't mean that. 941 01:01:17,006 --> 01:01:19,998 - Is this what you want, Dave? - No. 942 01:01:20,243 --> 01:01:21,801 If I put on a few pounds... 943 01:01:21,978 --> 01:01:25,778 ...will you be able to stifle your vomit long enough to have sex with me?! 944 01:01:26,149 --> 01:01:27,480 Holy shit. 945 01:01:27,717 --> 01:01:31,050 Are you such a hot stud that you'll break me in two?! 946 01:01:31,220 --> 01:01:34,451 You're angry right now. Wanna sing? Do you know "I Feel Pretty"? 947 01:01:36,159 --> 01:01:37,956 - Get out! Get out! - Stop! 948 01:01:38,194 --> 01:01:39,320 Get out! 949 01:01:39,529 --> 01:01:41,292 Get out!! 950 01:01:41,831 --> 01:01:43,196 Porker! 951 01:01:43,399 --> 01:01:44,388 Fatty! 952 01:01:45,234 --> 01:01:47,225 No!! 953 01:02:00,650 --> 01:02:01,742 How did it go, pal? 954 01:02:01,951 --> 01:02:05,011 - Why'd you ditch me? - What are you talking about? 955 01:02:05,188 --> 01:02:06,746 You gave me the signal. 956 01:02:07,023 --> 01:02:09,048 I didn't give you the signal to leave. 957 01:02:09,225 --> 01:02:12,820 I gave you the signal to say your gross pickup line actually worked. 958 01:02:12,995 --> 01:02:14,929 Well, of course it did. 959 01:02:15,331 --> 01:02:18,767 So did Little Davey need some anger management? 960 01:02:18,935 --> 01:02:21,301 - That chick was killer. - Serial killer. 961 01:02:21,471 --> 01:02:23,939 She tried to chocolate me to death. 962 01:02:24,107 --> 01:02:26,166 Anyways, I don't cheat on Linda. 963 01:02:27,210 --> 01:02:30,646 - Speaking of Linda, she called earlier. - Oh, yeah? 964 01:02:30,913 --> 01:02:34,212 She seemed a little bit bent out of shape. 965 01:02:34,417 --> 01:02:37,750 - About what? - Your being out with another woman. 966 01:02:37,920 --> 01:02:40,980 - How would she know that? - I told her. 967 01:02:41,157 --> 01:02:43,489 - What else could I do? - What else could you do? 968 01:02:43,659 --> 01:02:48,153 You could've told her something else. I was at the bank. I was at the store. 969 01:02:48,331 --> 01:02:51,266 I ate bad guacamole and I couldn't stop shitting! 970 01:02:51,434 --> 01:02:53,265 Any of those would have been fine! 971 01:02:53,736 --> 01:02:56,500 Well, I'm sorry, Dave, but I don't lie for my patients. 972 01:02:56,672 --> 01:03:00,199 You want to leave your friend and run off and chase some hot babe... 973 01:03:00,476 --> 01:03:02,444 ...you can't expect me to cover for you. 974 01:03:02,612 --> 01:03:05,274 I did what you told me to do, you sick, demented man. 975 01:03:08,918 --> 01:03:10,408 What are you laughing at? 976 01:03:11,487 --> 01:03:12,977 What's so funny? 977 01:03:14,657 --> 01:03:19,424 Kendra is an ex-patient of mine, an actress. Pretty good one too. 978 01:03:19,595 --> 01:03:24,089 I arranged for her to be in the bar and for you to pick her up. 979 01:03:27,937 --> 01:03:29,199 You were messing with me? 980 01:03:29,372 --> 01:03:32,102 Yeah. You know, just a joke between friends... 981 01:03:32,275 --> 01:03:35,642 ...like the one you pulled on me about my dying mother. 982 01:03:35,812 --> 01:03:38,110 I told you I'd get you back for that. 983 01:03:39,315 --> 01:03:40,304 All right. 984 01:03:43,853 --> 01:03:46,048 So you really didn't talk to Linda. 985 01:03:46,422 --> 01:03:49,823 Of course I did. That's what made it so funny. 986 01:03:52,728 --> 01:03:54,025 Where's your phone? 987 01:03:54,263 --> 01:03:58,495 She's not home, Dave. She went out with her pal Andrea. 988 01:03:58,835 --> 01:04:01,269 She doesn't know any Andreas. You mean Andrew? 989 01:04:01,470 --> 01:04:06,134 Yeah, that's it. Andrew, the testicle with legs. 990 01:04:06,375 --> 01:04:08,866 "The testicle with legs." Great!! 991 01:04:09,045 --> 01:04:12,674 Now wait a minute. Calm down a bit. Try some deep breathing. 992 01:04:12,849 --> 01:04:15,784 Maybe just hum a little "I Feel Pretty." 993 01:04:16,018 --> 01:04:19,510 No!! How about you hum the "I'm a Crazy Asshole" song? 994 01:04:19,689 --> 01:04:22,419 And take me home, you psychotic piece of wacko. 995 01:04:23,326 --> 01:04:25,817 I never thought you'd take it like this. 996 01:04:36,806 --> 01:04:40,367 So, what, we're not going to talk at all? 997 01:04:43,045 --> 01:04:47,141 Would you forgive me if I told you I called Linda last night... 998 01:04:47,416 --> 01:04:50,977 ...after our little fracas and explained that it was my fault? 999 01:04:51,354 --> 01:04:52,343 What did she say? 1000 01:04:52,588 --> 01:04:57,855 Well, she's not mad at you anymore, but she let me have it pretty good. 1001 01:04:58,060 --> 01:05:00,153 You deserved it. I did nothing wrong. 1002 01:05:00,329 --> 01:05:01,990 I know. I know. 1003 01:05:03,833 --> 01:05:04,822 Friends? 1004 01:05:07,436 --> 01:05:10,564 - Take a little nap. - I am tired. 1005 01:05:10,740 --> 01:05:12,571 Well, you had a rough night. 1006 01:05:26,355 --> 01:05:27,913 Stop with the cupcake! 1007 01:05:29,392 --> 01:05:32,361 Rise and shine, Sir Snoozola. 1008 01:05:33,195 --> 01:05:35,163 What's going on? Where are we? 1009 01:05:35,331 --> 01:05:38,129 Well, at a great deal of expense and effort... 1010 01:05:38,301 --> 01:05:41,896 ...we have managed to locate your grade school bête noire... 1011 01:05:42,071 --> 01:05:43,060 ...Arnie Shankman. 1012 01:05:43,239 --> 01:05:46,436 We do desire a confrontation with him, do we not? 1013 01:05:47,209 --> 01:05:50,440 What? Do you mean the kid who bullied me in fifth grade? 1014 01:05:50,613 --> 01:05:54,606 Dave, I think it's pivotal for you to confront your childhood nemesis. 1015 01:05:54,951 --> 01:05:58,478 Remember, for 22 more days, you are mine. 1016 01:06:00,323 --> 01:06:02,086 This is where Arnie Shankman lives? 1017 01:06:06,295 --> 01:06:09,389 You're kidding me. You're going to make me confront a monk. 1018 01:06:10,733 --> 01:06:11,893 Great. 1019 01:06:17,807 --> 01:06:20,640 Are you ashamed that you never stood up to him? 1020 01:06:20,810 --> 01:06:22,641 No. He was just a kid lashing out... 1021 01:06:22,812 --> 01:06:25,337 ...because his sister got sent to an insane asylum. 1022 01:06:25,514 --> 01:06:28,074 I'm surprised your research didn't tell you that. 1023 01:06:29,185 --> 01:06:30,584 This doesn't look like him. 1024 01:06:33,656 --> 01:06:35,749 Excuse me, Arnie Shankman? 1025 01:06:36,993 --> 01:06:39,655 Sorry about waking you up. 1026 01:06:40,429 --> 01:06:42,829 My name is Pana Kamanana... 1027 01:06:43,332 --> 01:06:46,460 ...but, yes, I was once known as Arnie Shankman. 1028 01:06:46,836 --> 01:06:47,996 Arnie.... 1029 01:06:48,170 --> 01:06:50,661 Pana Kamanana... 1030 01:06:51,107 --> 01:06:53,302 ...Dave Buznik from elementary school. 1031 01:06:54,777 --> 01:06:56,711 David Buznik. 1032 01:06:57,013 --> 01:06:59,982 This is the last place I thought I'd find you, a monastery. 1033 01:07:00,149 --> 01:07:03,744 You could say I've gone through a rather dramatic transformation. 1034 01:07:03,919 --> 01:07:06,149 Could you excuse him for a second, Peanuts? 1035 01:07:08,190 --> 01:07:10,420 His name's not Peanuts. It's Pana Manapia. 1036 01:07:10,593 --> 01:07:14,029 You want me to fight a monk? He's not even allowed to hurt a plant. 1037 01:07:14,196 --> 01:07:17,632 For Pete's sake, this is the monk that twisted your tits! 1038 01:07:17,800 --> 01:07:20,234 Confront him or you're going to prison! 1039 01:07:20,469 --> 01:07:22,994 All right. All right. All right. 1040 01:07:28,611 --> 01:07:31,774 Anyways, what I wanted to say to you was... 1041 01:07:32,148 --> 01:07:36,312 ...when we were kids, you kind of bullied me around a little bit... 1042 01:07:36,485 --> 01:07:40,888 ...and I never really did anything to deserve that kind of treatment. 1043 01:07:41,123 --> 01:07:43,591 Of course not. I was a real cretin then. 1044 01:07:43,826 --> 01:07:46,226 I did a lot of horrible things as a kid. 1045 01:07:46,395 --> 01:07:49,660 I pushed you around. I called you nasty names. 1046 01:07:49,932 --> 01:07:52,662 You pulled my gym shorts down in front of Sara Plowman. 1047 01:07:54,270 --> 01:07:56,830 That actually was pretty funny. 1048 01:07:57,339 --> 01:07:59,500 Jeez, I don't think that it was. 1049 01:07:59,742 --> 01:08:02,939 Now, come, David. Humor is the spice of life. 1050 01:08:03,179 --> 01:08:05,147 The look on your face was priceless. 1051 01:08:05,681 --> 01:08:08,206 "Oh! Sara saw my pee-pee!" 1052 01:08:09,285 --> 01:08:11,913 So Pena likes the spicy humor. 1053 01:08:12,121 --> 01:08:16,114 Maybe he'd enjoy the knee-slapper you told me about the great Buddha. 1054 01:08:16,292 --> 01:08:17,850 What did you say about Buddha? 1055 01:08:18,027 --> 01:08:21,656 Dave said, "How does a guy who weighs over 600 pounds... 1056 01:08:21,831 --> 01:08:24,959 ...have the balls to teach people about self-discipline?" 1057 01:08:26,135 --> 01:08:27,966 Let's not make fun of my God, here. 1058 01:08:28,137 --> 01:08:31,698 You know what else Dave finds particularly piquant? 1059 01:08:31,941 --> 01:08:35,502 Recalling your nut-job sister struggling with her underpants... 1060 01:08:35,678 --> 01:08:36,736 ...in a straitjacket. 1061 01:08:36,912 --> 01:08:38,243 You think that's funny? 1062 01:08:38,414 --> 01:08:40,507 Dave used to con her into getting naked... 1063 01:08:40,683 --> 01:08:43,447 ...by saying that her clothes had ghosts in them. 1064 01:08:43,619 --> 01:08:44,847 That never happened. 1065 01:08:45,020 --> 01:08:47,113 Then he'd pull out his winkie and tell her... 1066 01:08:47,289 --> 01:08:49,951 ...it was a strawberry ice-cream cone. 1067 01:08:51,026 --> 01:08:53,756 Is that what you've come here to tell me? 1068 01:08:53,929 --> 01:08:56,796 Did you expose yourself... 1069 01:08:57,099 --> 01:08:58,293 ...to my sister? 1070 01:09:00,269 --> 01:09:04,603 - And don't shove me again. - It's shower-room humiliation again. 1071 01:09:04,773 --> 01:09:08,265 He's giving you a wet willie and making you chew on his jockstrap... 1072 01:09:08,444 --> 01:09:10,378 ...and fart blossom and all this. 1073 01:09:11,080 --> 01:09:15,517 Answer me, Buznik! Did you get it on with my sister? 1074 01:09:17,286 --> 01:09:19,277 Over and over again. 1075 01:09:20,656 --> 01:09:23,625 And she moaned like a wildebeest. 1076 01:09:23,792 --> 01:09:25,760 Wildebeest. 1077 01:09:28,998 --> 01:09:30,932 Whoo! Now, that felt good! 1078 01:09:31,100 --> 01:09:33,193 I wasn't expecting that from a Buddhist. 1079 01:09:34,503 --> 01:09:37,995 - I'm a little pissed off right now. - You all right? You're all right. 1080 01:09:43,445 --> 01:09:45,572 David! David! No, David! 1081 01:09:45,748 --> 01:09:47,375 Easy, boy! 1082 01:09:47,550 --> 01:09:48,915 Sorry. 1083 01:09:50,019 --> 01:09:51,179 Help me, brother. 1084 01:09:51,387 --> 01:09:53,947 - Help me. - Okay. Come on. Come on. 1085 01:09:54,256 --> 01:09:56,918 Okay, we're even. We're even now. 1086 01:09:57,193 --> 01:09:59,718 - I went crazy. I'm so sorry. - I started it. 1087 01:09:59,895 --> 01:10:01,419 - I started it. - It's all right. 1088 01:10:01,597 --> 01:10:03,360 And I'm gonna finish it! 1089 01:10:04,633 --> 01:10:06,601 Now we're even, butt-lick! 1090 01:10:06,969 --> 01:10:08,960 No! Don't! Don't! Don't! 1091 01:10:09,138 --> 01:10:12,869 "What's that, Auntie Em? It's a twister!" 1092 01:10:13,142 --> 01:10:14,666 My nipples! 1093 01:10:14,843 --> 01:10:17,471 Pena! Look! Your sister's back. 1094 01:10:17,646 --> 01:10:20,046 I got Casper in my clothes! 1095 01:10:22,218 --> 01:10:24,550 - Pretty good. - Thanks, baby. 1096 01:10:24,720 --> 01:10:25,709 I'll kill you! 1097 01:10:26,655 --> 01:10:28,589 You want that rake? 1098 01:10:28,757 --> 01:10:31,385 You can't get that rake from me! 1099 01:10:31,560 --> 01:10:33,027 Look, everybody! 1100 01:10:33,195 --> 01:10:35,163 Pana Banana's got a heinie. 1101 01:10:35,397 --> 01:10:37,661 - He's got a heinie! - I give! 1102 01:10:37,833 --> 01:10:39,528 - I give! - All right. I'm sorry. 1103 01:10:39,935 --> 01:10:43,166 - Friends? - You suck! 1104 01:10:46,242 --> 01:10:47,231 Shankman! 1105 01:10:47,409 --> 01:10:49,900 Wedgie! Wedgie! Wedgie! 1106 01:10:50,112 --> 01:10:52,205 - I've seen enough. - Hold it right there. 1107 01:10:52,381 --> 01:10:54,611 This party's by invitation only. 1108 01:10:58,554 --> 01:11:00,784 Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! 1109 01:11:07,162 --> 01:11:09,153 Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! 1110 01:11:15,304 --> 01:11:17,397 Hold it back there! Come on, come on. 1111 01:11:17,573 --> 01:11:18,631 Start the car! 1112 01:11:18,807 --> 01:11:20,900 Go! Go! Go! Come on, let's go! 1113 01:11:21,076 --> 01:11:23,169 Now! Now! Now! Now! 1114 01:11:30,152 --> 01:11:31,312 Oh, boy! 1115 01:11:31,487 --> 01:11:33,318 We were like Butch and Sundance! 1116 01:11:33,489 --> 01:11:36,947 Oh, my God! I thought you were going to shoot somebody! 1117 01:11:41,030 --> 01:11:44,090 You really threw me some curves back there, kid. 1118 01:11:44,266 --> 01:11:46,996 I never expected it to go that way. 1119 01:11:47,436 --> 01:11:50,166 But you kicked some serious monk ass there, baby. 1120 01:11:50,339 --> 01:11:52,034 You're damn right, baby! 1121 01:11:52,274 --> 01:11:55,766 - How did it feel? - I feel good! I feel incredible! 1122 01:11:56,011 --> 01:12:00,107 I feel bad about molesting his sister all those times, but it's all right! 1123 01:12:00,949 --> 01:12:04,885 - You really molested a crazy girl? - No. Got you. 1124 01:12:07,222 --> 01:12:10,623 Congratulations, keed, you've reached level three 1125 01:12:14,730 --> 01:12:17,528 I would never have done anything with that girl. 1126 01:12:17,700 --> 01:12:22,228 Don't worry. Dr. Rydell explained everything to me, and I get it. 1127 01:12:22,404 --> 01:12:27,467 Dr. Rydell brought up an interesting fact about me being a procrastinator. 1128 01:12:27,643 --> 01:12:30,874 ...and I was going to wait for a Yankee game to do this. 1129 01:12:31,046 --> 01:12:32,240 ...but.... 1130 01:12:32,481 --> 01:12:36,474 I don't know. I.... It's something I wanted to say to you... 1131 01:12:36,685 --> 01:12:40,416 ...and I'm having a hard time saying it for some reason. But.... 1132 01:12:42,758 --> 01:12:46,819 It's just that monks, they talk shit... 1133 01:12:46,995 --> 01:12:48,792 ...but they can't back it up. 1134 01:12:51,500 --> 01:12:54,469 That's what was so hard to say to me? 1135 01:13:00,075 --> 01:13:04,512 You know, when I was on the phone with Buddy, he gave me some advice. 1136 01:13:04,680 --> 01:13:08,616 That's great. His advice is a little cuckoo... 1137 01:13:08,851 --> 01:13:10,751 ...but somehow it works. 1138 01:13:10,919 --> 01:13:14,082 Well, then I guess I'll just do what he suggested. 1139 01:13:17,760 --> 01:13:20,729 I don't think that we should see each other for a while. 1140 01:13:21,597 --> 01:13:25,795 Buddy thinks that a trial separation will ultimately... 1141 01:13:26,835 --> 01:13:29,030 ...strengthen our relationship. 1142 01:13:35,544 --> 01:13:37,171 Now, Fury Fighters... 1143 01:13:37,346 --> 01:13:40,577 ...what keys do we need to possess before we can...? 1144 01:13:40,749 --> 01:13:42,114 Dave. You're late. 1145 01:13:42,284 --> 01:13:45,219 - Can I talk to you alone, please? - Sure you can... 1146 01:13:54,463 --> 01:13:57,227 You told Linda we should have a trial separation? 1147 01:13:57,433 --> 01:13:58,730 - Yes. - Yes?! 1148 01:13:58,967 --> 01:14:00,093 Yes! 1149 01:14:00,369 --> 01:14:03,998 Separating from Linda is a crucial part of our strategy. 1150 01:14:04,173 --> 01:14:06,403 My strategy is to keep my girlfriend. 1151 01:14:06,675 --> 01:14:09,838 All right. Strictly as a friend. 1152 01:14:10,379 --> 01:14:13,075 Linda's been thinking about leaving you for some time. 1153 01:14:13,582 --> 01:14:16,915 She loves you, but she recognizes you're a neurotic mess. 1154 01:14:17,186 --> 01:14:18,175 You're jealous... 1155 01:14:18,353 --> 01:14:22,551 ...self-loathing, resentful, insecure and a premature ejaculator. 1156 01:14:22,925 --> 01:14:25,155 She told you I was a premature ejaculator? 1157 01:14:25,327 --> 01:14:26,692 That part I was assuming. 1158 01:14:27,329 --> 01:14:29,627 I haven't done that in, like, eight months. 1159 01:14:29,798 --> 01:14:35,259 Anyway, a trial separation will make you both gain a deeper appreciation... 1160 01:14:35,504 --> 01:14:37,597 ...for David Buznik. 1161 01:14:38,173 --> 01:14:42,269 After she dates a couple of losers, she'll be begging you to take her back. 1162 01:14:47,115 --> 01:14:51,552 So I've been thinking about it, Linda... 1163 01:14:51,854 --> 01:14:56,348 ...and a trial separation is exactly what we need. 1164 01:14:56,558 --> 01:14:59,618 And if you want to start seeing... 1165 01:14:59,862 --> 01:15:02,558 ...other penises... People... 1166 01:15:05,400 --> 01:15:07,095 ...I want you to feel free. 1167 01:15:07,302 --> 01:15:09,270 You sound upset. Are you all right? 1168 01:15:11,607 --> 01:15:16,442 I'm fine. Just date anybody you'd like. 1169 01:15:16,645 --> 01:15:18,545 And don't hold back, okay? 1170 01:15:18,780 --> 01:15:22,944 Because there's a lot of nice guys out there and I'm cool with it. 1171 01:15:23,151 --> 01:15:24,709 I'll be strong. 1172 01:15:28,090 --> 01:15:31,184 So the guy asked me for change. I laughed. He cursed. 1173 01:15:31,360 --> 01:15:32,418 I whizzed on him. 1174 01:15:33,061 --> 01:15:36,258 - What else could I do, huh? - You should've tossed a rock at him. 1175 01:15:36,498 --> 01:15:39,729 That's your solution for everything. The guy's homeless, right? 1176 01:15:39,968 --> 01:15:41,731 Let him be. Set your anger free. 1177 01:15:42,237 --> 01:15:46,139 Look at you, Lou. You've really calmed down since working with Dr. B. 1178 01:15:46,308 --> 01:15:48,242 - We all have. - Hey, fellas. 1179 01:15:48,844 --> 01:15:50,903 Could you bring it down a little bit? 1180 01:15:51,079 --> 01:15:53,912 We're trying to have dinner. The walls are really thin. 1181 01:15:54,082 --> 01:15:56,846 - This is a free country! - What's going on with you?! 1182 01:15:57,119 --> 01:15:59,280 - Are you crazy?! - Go in! Just go in. 1183 01:16:01,323 --> 01:16:03,291 Goosfraba! Goosfraba! 1184 01:16:03,458 --> 01:16:06,518 Goosfraba. 1185 01:16:06,795 --> 01:16:09,320 Very good. What are you guys doing here? 1186 01:16:09,531 --> 01:16:11,829 I need to see Dr. B. I'm in crisis. 1187 01:16:12,034 --> 01:16:14,662 He's not here. Why don't you go look for him? 1188 01:16:14,836 --> 01:16:19,296 Davey, your girlfriend stopped by and she dropped these off for you. 1189 01:16:20,542 --> 01:16:22,942 Those are her keys to my apartment. 1190 01:16:23,111 --> 01:16:25,341 I think your girlfriend's cheating on you. 1191 01:16:25,681 --> 01:16:28,343 - Why? - I heard her on her cell phone... 1192 01:16:28,517 --> 01:16:30,212 ...talking to a guy... 1193 01:16:30,719 --> 01:16:33,984 - ...making a date. - I'm so sorry, Dave. 1194 01:16:34,389 --> 01:16:35,822 Andrew. 1195 01:16:36,058 --> 01:16:37,252 I'll kill that guy. 1196 01:16:38,827 --> 01:16:42,160 She ain't cheating on me by the way. We agreed to take a break. 1197 01:16:42,331 --> 01:16:45,823 She's not taking a break from the old sausage, huh? 1198 01:16:46,401 --> 01:16:47,390 Sorry. 1199 01:16:47,669 --> 01:16:50,433 She's meeting the Andrew at Mort's on 86th Street now... 1200 01:16:50,606 --> 01:16:51,868 ...if you want to go watch. 1201 01:16:53,875 --> 01:16:56,207 No. No, I can't do that. 1202 01:17:01,850 --> 01:17:02,839 We're here. 1203 01:17:03,452 --> 01:17:06,615 - Both of you showed up? - You like Stacy better or something? 1204 01:17:06,788 --> 01:17:10,952 It's just that I want to go on a fake date to get my girlfriend jealous... 1205 01:17:11,126 --> 01:17:13,287 ...so I really only needed one of you guys. 1206 01:17:13,528 --> 01:17:15,462 Well, now she'll be twice as jealous. 1207 01:17:15,697 --> 01:17:18,791 - So do you know the guy she's with? - I think I might. 1208 01:17:18,967 --> 01:17:20,264 Let me ask you something. 1209 01:17:20,435 --> 01:17:24,633 Because of your profession you probably have seen a lot of them. 1210 01:17:24,806 --> 01:17:29,140 Does size count at all, or is that just some weird thing guys think about? 1211 01:17:29,311 --> 01:17:32,178 This is where Gina and I always get into a heated debate. 1212 01:17:32,347 --> 01:17:34,178 I like them when they're really big. 1213 01:17:34,349 --> 01:17:37,045 And I think it's better when they're enormous. 1214 01:17:44,126 --> 01:17:45,525 Good evening. 1215 01:17:45,694 --> 01:17:47,821 Table for three? 1216 01:17:47,996 --> 01:17:50,863 - May we take your coats? - No. We're okay. 1217 01:17:51,033 --> 01:17:53,365 The girls are gonna take their coats off. 1218 01:17:53,535 --> 01:17:55,696 Would you like a boobs... ? Booth? 1219 01:17:59,307 --> 01:18:03,505 Actually, could you give us a table overlooking that table right there? 1220 01:18:03,679 --> 01:18:05,647 - Sure. Right this way. - Thank you. 1221 01:18:09,384 --> 01:18:12,410 Oh, my God. It's Stacy and Gina. 1222 01:18:12,587 --> 01:18:13,986 Who? 1223 01:18:14,156 --> 01:18:15,680 Nobody. 1224 01:18:15,891 --> 01:18:18,121 I'm so hungry I could eat you, Dave. 1225 01:18:18,460 --> 01:18:19,950 Yummy. Yummy. 1226 01:18:21,263 --> 01:18:23,788 - Let's get wasted tonight. - Definitely. 1227 01:18:23,965 --> 01:18:27,128 Have fun. Lucky son of a bitch. 1228 01:18:29,337 --> 01:18:31,237 What? 1229 01:18:33,241 --> 01:18:34,936 I can't believe this. 1230 01:18:35,110 --> 01:18:36,441 Excuse me. 1231 01:18:36,611 --> 01:18:41,275 Linda. I'm a little embarrassed. I didn't know you were going to be here. 1232 01:18:41,483 --> 01:18:43,917 I guess not. Are those your friends? 1233 01:18:44,086 --> 01:18:47,852 I'm supposed to date other people so I figured I'd give it a try. 1234 01:18:52,360 --> 01:18:55,852 Gina, can you stop sucking on Stacy's finger for one second? 1235 01:18:56,031 --> 01:18:58,192 I want to introduce you to somebody. 1236 01:18:58,767 --> 01:19:02,100 - Stacy, Gina, this is Linda. - Nice to meet you. 1237 01:19:02,370 --> 01:19:05,032 And I'd like you to meet my date. 1238 01:19:05,607 --> 01:19:08,371 Ladies, this is Buddy Rydell. 1239 01:19:08,910 --> 01:19:11,640 - Look, Dave, it's Buddy. - I see. 1240 01:19:11,813 --> 01:19:14,748 - You know Stacy and Gina? - Yes, yes, I do. 1241 01:19:14,916 --> 01:19:17,646 We're in Dave's anger group. Fury Fighters! 1242 01:19:19,254 --> 01:19:21,848 Well, gee whiz. Here's your Rémy, Linda. 1243 01:19:22,057 --> 01:19:23,991 This is a bit awkward. 1244 01:19:24,159 --> 01:19:25,717 I mean, group members... 1245 01:19:25,894 --> 01:19:28,328 ...are not supposed to get romantically involved. 1246 01:19:28,497 --> 01:19:31,432 - Yeah! I agree with that. - You know that. 1247 01:19:31,600 --> 01:19:34,694 I'd like to talk to you alone for a second. 1248 01:19:34,870 --> 01:19:38,601 There's a rage control technique I'd like to go over with you right now. 1249 01:19:38,774 --> 01:19:40,435 Of course. Excuse me... 1250 01:19:41,943 --> 01:19:43,001 What? 1251 01:19:45,013 --> 01:19:47,447 - Two of the usual, Duke. - Coming right up, Dr. B. 1252 01:19:47,616 --> 01:19:50,483 You're the biggest backstabbing piece of crap I ever met. 1253 01:19:51,453 --> 01:19:52,613 What are you saying? 1254 01:19:52,788 --> 01:19:55,018 I'm trying to give you a hand. It's my job. 1255 01:19:55,190 --> 01:19:57,818 Bullshit! Your job is to steal my girlfriend?! 1256 01:19:58,026 --> 01:20:00,358 My job is trying to prevent Mr. Andrew... 1257 01:20:00,529 --> 01:20:03,464 ...from unleashing the Whopper with Cheese. 1258 01:20:03,965 --> 01:20:06,661 That's right. Since you've been out of the picture... 1259 01:20:06,835 --> 01:20:09,531 ...Andrew's been burning up the wires night and day... 1260 01:20:09,805 --> 01:20:13,297 ...trying to rekindle those hotsie-totsie nights up at Brown U. 1261 01:20:13,475 --> 01:20:16,342 - How would you know? - You think I only tapped your phone? 1262 01:20:16,545 --> 01:20:18,012 What was she saying? 1263 01:20:18,213 --> 01:20:21,979 The good news is, I already launched a preemptive strike. 1264 01:20:22,150 --> 01:20:24,983 Now the situation is contained. 1265 01:20:25,153 --> 01:20:27,144 You and I control the game. 1266 01:20:27,389 --> 01:20:28,378 How? 1267 01:20:28,557 --> 01:20:31,890 I will be uncharacteristically aggressively boring. 1268 01:20:32,060 --> 01:20:35,996 I keep talking about myself, acting arrogant and obnoxious. 1269 01:20:36,331 --> 01:20:39,164 When Linda sees what the dating world is really like... 1270 01:20:39,334 --> 01:20:42,997 ...then guess who comes out smelling like a white mushroom? 1271 01:20:46,908 --> 01:20:50,344 - You swear to me this will work? - The ball's already up in the air. 1272 01:20:50,679 --> 01:20:53,512 Incidentally, nice move bringing the girls. 1273 01:20:54,182 --> 01:20:57,174 Very strong. Come on. 1274 01:20:57,352 --> 01:21:00,048 I'll see you at home in a half-hour, keed. 1275 01:21:02,691 --> 01:21:05,091 That's 25 dollars, pal. 1276 01:21:05,327 --> 01:21:07,022 We don't.... 1277 01:21:41,129 --> 01:21:42,960 Where were you? It's 1:00. 1278 01:21:43,198 --> 01:21:47,328 When you hear what happened, you'll bow down and worship me like a god. 1279 01:21:47,502 --> 01:21:49,629 - Better be good. Give it to me. - Okay. 1280 01:21:49,804 --> 01:21:52,864 After dinner, she insisted we go home. So we hop on the bus... 1281 01:21:53,041 --> 01:21:55,601 The bus? You took the bus? What happened to your car? 1282 01:21:55,777 --> 01:21:57,404 I was way too smashed to drive. 1283 01:21:57,579 --> 01:22:02,812 I told her I didn't want to waste money on a cab. That did not go down well. 1284 01:22:03,885 --> 01:22:05,375 Okay. I like that. 1285 01:22:05,553 --> 01:22:07,714 So we get to her house... 1286 01:22:08,056 --> 01:22:11,219 ...we have some kind of a weird argument... 1287 01:22:11,393 --> 01:22:14,726 ...about the number of syllables in a haiku. 1288 01:22:14,896 --> 01:22:16,261 Poetry garbage. 1289 01:22:16,531 --> 01:22:19,830 She said it was getting late, we kissed and I headed on home. 1290 01:22:20,869 --> 01:22:23,702 Now, you say you kissed? 1291 01:22:23,905 --> 01:22:26,567 It was nothing. Little five-second kiss. That's all. 1292 01:22:26,741 --> 01:22:28,231 Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. 1293 01:22:28,476 --> 01:22:30,967 You're having this horrible evening. 1294 01:22:31,146 --> 01:22:34,582 - How do you end up kissing, again? - I wish I knew, keed. 1295 01:22:34,749 --> 01:22:37,343 We were both pretty geezed up. 1296 01:22:37,585 --> 01:22:41,419 One second we're fighting, and the next second we're laughing... 1297 01:22:41,656 --> 01:22:43,988 ...and then just a quick 10-second kiss. 1298 01:22:44,159 --> 01:22:46,627 I thought that you said five seconds. 1299 01:22:46,795 --> 01:22:48,456 First it was a five-second one... 1300 01:22:48,630 --> 01:22:51,997 ...and then a little break because my beard gave her a tickle. 1301 01:22:52,334 --> 01:22:55,132 She's cute. And then a 10-second Frencher. 1302 01:22:56,271 --> 01:23:00,503 You had your crazy, corroded tongue in my girlfriend's mouth? 1303 01:23:02,210 --> 01:23:05,043 Just a second. Just one second, Dave. 1304 01:23:05,347 --> 01:23:08,077 Dr. B, let it bip. 1305 01:23:08,750 --> 01:23:10,843 Well, hello. 1306 01:23:12,754 --> 01:23:15,018 I shouldn't really talk right now. 1307 01:23:15,690 --> 01:23:18,352 Well, I suppose you're right. 1308 01:23:19,761 --> 01:23:21,592 It's got to be done. 1309 01:23:23,198 --> 01:23:24,426 Who was that? Linda? 1310 01:23:28,603 --> 01:23:32,699 I've got some good news for you and some potentially upsetting news. 1311 01:23:32,874 --> 01:23:34,705 First, the good news. 1312 01:23:34,876 --> 01:23:37,538 I'm going to sign your papers. You're a free man. 1313 01:23:37,712 --> 01:23:39,942 Let me hear the potentially upsetting news. 1314 01:23:41,116 --> 01:23:44,608 Linda and I have fallen for one another. 1315 01:23:44,786 --> 01:23:46,219 Pretty hard too. 1316 01:23:46,554 --> 01:23:49,614 David, I hope you believe me when I say this: 1317 01:23:49,791 --> 01:23:51,622 I didn't intend for this to happen. 1318 01:23:51,793 --> 01:23:54,557 It was no one's fault, I guess. It was just... 1319 01:23:54,729 --> 01:23:56,287 Wait a minute. 1320 01:24:00,402 --> 01:24:02,336 I figured this out. 1321 01:24:09,310 --> 01:24:10,743 You're messing with me. 1322 01:24:11,446 --> 01:24:13,141 I wish I were, Dave. 1323 01:24:13,648 --> 01:24:18,483 However, I did insist that we not go forward without your blessing... 1324 01:24:18,653 --> 01:24:23,590 ...because we're best friends. So, what do you say, Dave? 1325 01:24:24,159 --> 01:24:26,992 Is it all right if I date your ex? 1326 01:24:31,433 --> 01:24:32,991 Welcome back, Mr. Buznik. 1327 01:24:33,168 --> 01:24:35,830 I am appalled by your assault on Dr. Rydell. 1328 01:24:36,004 --> 01:24:39,405 Obviously, anger management has been a complete failure for you. 1329 01:24:39,574 --> 01:24:43,533 I'm setting a trial date for 3 weeks from today for attempted murder. 1330 01:24:43,711 --> 01:24:47,477 As for Dr. Rydell's safety, I'm issuing a restraining order. 1331 01:24:47,649 --> 01:24:50,982 Which means that at no time can you come within 500 feet of him... 1332 01:24:51,152 --> 01:24:53,518 ...or his lovely new girlfriend, Linda. 1333 01:24:53,688 --> 01:24:55,417 Court is adjourned. 1334 01:25:14,442 --> 01:25:16,171 Coming, Peaches. 1335 01:25:24,786 --> 01:25:26,481 Are you kidding me? 1336 01:25:32,260 --> 01:25:35,286 Numb-nuts, where's the catalog for my Fat Cat clothing line? 1337 01:25:35,463 --> 01:25:36,930 I said I'd have it by 3. 1338 01:25:38,533 --> 01:25:40,763 - Okay. - Get in gear. 1339 01:25:44,405 --> 01:25:45,838 I'm so sorry I'm late. 1340 01:25:46,007 --> 01:25:48,669 I hope you have it. My presentation's in two hours. 1341 01:25:48,843 --> 01:25:51,937 What's this? Your fat-shit cat's been sitting there all day. 1342 01:25:52,213 --> 01:25:53,646 Don't worry about him. 1343 01:25:53,815 --> 01:25:56,716 Here you go. I think you're gonna like it. 1344 01:26:04,159 --> 01:26:05,183 It's good stuff. 1345 01:26:05,960 --> 01:26:07,928 That's a good picture, I think. 1346 01:26:09,764 --> 01:26:11,095 What the hell is this?! 1347 01:26:11,266 --> 01:26:14,326 You keep telling everybody you created the Husky Cat line. 1348 01:26:14,569 --> 01:26:17,003 I thought you'd want your picture in there. No? 1349 01:26:17,172 --> 01:26:19,470 Question: Can I get two couches in my office? 1350 01:26:19,641 --> 01:26:22,269 If friends come over, I want them to feel comfortable. 1351 01:26:22,443 --> 01:26:23,501 What office? 1352 01:26:23,678 --> 01:26:28,047 Frank was nice enough to give me some creative executive position. 1353 01:26:29,951 --> 01:26:32,920 - You gave him the job that I wanted? - He earned it. 1354 01:26:33,087 --> 01:26:35,555 Why can't you be happy for me? Linda's gonna be. 1355 01:26:35,823 --> 01:26:38,587 Know something? I'm sick of you hanging out with Linda. 1356 01:26:38,760 --> 01:26:41,251 She dumped you 15 years ago. Get over it. 1357 01:26:41,429 --> 01:26:42,828 I wouldn't worry about me. 1358 01:26:42,997 --> 01:26:46,194 It's your pal Buddy who's taking her to the Yankee game tonight. 1359 01:26:46,968 --> 01:26:48,401 Yankee game. 1360 01:26:49,671 --> 01:26:51,832 Did he steal my proposal idea? 1361 01:26:52,507 --> 01:26:55,135 Buznik, your behavior is unacceptable. 1362 01:26:56,344 --> 01:26:58,175 Unacceptable? 1363 01:26:58,846 --> 01:27:03,840 I've been getting your coffee and doing your work for five years now. 1364 01:27:04,018 --> 01:27:06,145 When a good position actually opens up... 1365 01:27:06,387 --> 01:27:08,787 ...you give it to the biggest dick in the world? 1366 01:27:08,957 --> 01:27:12,893 I don't know about the world, but it's definitely the biggest one in the room. 1367 01:27:14,262 --> 01:27:16,924 Now, when I started here... 1368 01:27:17,131 --> 01:27:20,100 ...I was promised advancement opportunities. 1369 01:27:20,301 --> 01:27:23,429 And breaking that promise, to me, is unacceptable. 1370 01:27:25,240 --> 01:27:28,334 You see? I golf also. You should bring me sometime. 1371 01:27:28,576 --> 01:27:32,808 So when I get out of jail, sometime in the next two to five years... 1372 01:27:32,981 --> 01:27:37,748 ...I expect you to give me the position that Andrew just resigned from. 1373 01:27:38,453 --> 01:27:40,717 - Okay. - Great. 1374 01:27:40,922 --> 01:27:43,049 Have fun looking like Colonel Klink. 1375 01:27:45,693 --> 01:27:49,254 By the way, his name is not Fat-shit Cat, it's Meatball... 1376 01:27:49,430 --> 01:27:52,092 ...and he's eating your crab cakes right now. 1377 01:27:58,039 --> 01:28:01,941 - You starting to get excited? - Are you kidding? I'm out of my mind. 1378 01:28:02,110 --> 01:28:03,771 This is going to be some night. 1379 01:28:06,614 --> 01:28:08,343 Come on. Come on. 1380 01:28:18,192 --> 01:28:21,389 - Dr. B, how's it going? - Very well, thank you. 1381 01:28:21,963 --> 01:28:24,056 Always a thrill. Right this way. 1382 01:28:27,201 --> 01:28:29,362 Where the hell's a spot? Where's a spot? 1383 01:28:30,672 --> 01:28:31,764 Whoa! Watch it, man! 1384 01:28:31,939 --> 01:28:32,106 Your attention, please. 1385 01:28:32,107 --> 01:28:33,539 Your attention, please. 1386 01:28:33,708 --> 01:28:35,539 Before tonight's National Anthem... 1387 01:28:35,710 --> 01:28:38,770 ...Metropolitan Opera star Robert Merrill... 1388 01:28:38,946 --> 01:28:43,713 ...will present a special moment for two special people. 1389 01:28:43,951 --> 01:28:45,942 I love when they do this. 1390 01:28:46,954 --> 01:28:50,651 - Good. - Ladies and gentlemen, Robert Merrill. 1391 01:29:05,707 --> 01:29:07,698 Linda?! Linda! 1392 01:29:25,893 --> 01:29:28,794 What the hell do you think you're doing? 1393 01:29:29,731 --> 01:29:31,221 Wait, don't I know you? 1394 01:29:31,399 --> 01:29:33,333 - Come on. - Where's your German accent? 1395 01:29:38,072 --> 01:29:39,937 You have me confused with somebody... 1396 01:29:40,108 --> 01:29:42,770 I wanna get on the field. I'm a fan of Mr. Merrill's. 1397 01:29:42,944 --> 01:29:45,572 - There's no fans allowed on that field. - Galaxia. 1398 01:29:46,647 --> 01:29:47,636 It's Gary. 1399 01:29:47,815 --> 01:29:51,478 Whatever. Someone else will marry my woman if you don't let me go. 1400 01:29:52,987 --> 01:29:56,081 - Hebrew Melvin's in love. - Very much. 1401 01:29:57,658 --> 01:29:59,751 I can't stop love. 1402 01:29:59,994 --> 01:30:01,757 - Go. - Thank you. 1403 01:30:03,264 --> 01:30:06,529 Don't think I don't owe you a couple smacks by the way. 1404 01:30:07,635 --> 01:30:11,469 Good evening. Tonight, romance comes to Yankee Stadium. 1405 01:30:13,708 --> 01:30:16,040 Oh, my God, it's Dave. 1406 01:30:16,544 --> 01:30:18,341 What the heck are you doing here? 1407 01:30:18,579 --> 01:30:21,013 - I wanna borrow this for a second. - That's my mike! 1408 01:30:21,182 --> 01:30:22,672 Linda? Where are you? 1409 01:30:23,384 --> 01:30:24,681 Don't move. 1410 01:30:25,119 --> 01:30:27,610 Linda? Are you out there, honey? 1411 01:30:29,190 --> 01:30:31,215 Linda, I'm not mad at you. 1412 01:30:34,462 --> 01:30:35,622 Oh, shit. 1413 01:30:38,199 --> 01:30:40,224 I know that crazy man brought you here. 1414 01:30:42,437 --> 01:30:44,371 Davey's going crazy! 1415 01:30:44,539 --> 01:30:47,303 I've done crazier stuff than that to win back a chick. 1416 01:30:47,475 --> 01:30:49,568 Once I ran naked through a subway station. 1417 01:30:49,744 --> 01:30:51,143 How was that supposed to work? 1418 01:30:51,646 --> 01:30:54,046 I guess I never really thought it through. 1419 01:30:55,950 --> 01:30:58,214 I gotta tell you something personal! 1420 01:30:59,387 --> 01:31:00,979 This kid lost his marbles. 1421 01:31:02,957 --> 01:31:04,447 I'm over here! 1422 01:31:06,561 --> 01:31:09,394 Linda, think about what you're doing to us. 1423 01:31:11,966 --> 01:31:13,558 Sweet tackle. Wow! 1424 01:31:13,734 --> 01:31:15,668 Dave just got leveled! 1425 01:31:16,737 --> 01:31:20,332 - Nobody messes with my microphone. - I'm sorry. 1426 01:31:20,608 --> 01:31:21,939 Bob? 1427 01:31:23,077 --> 01:31:25,341 - Everything all right, Buddy? - Oh, yeah. 1428 01:31:25,513 --> 01:31:27,276 I've never seen you so excited. 1429 01:31:27,448 --> 01:31:30,212 It's not every day a man gets to propose marriage... 1430 01:31:30,384 --> 01:31:31,908 ...to the woman he loves. 1431 01:31:32,086 --> 01:31:34,919 Now, here's what I want you to write on the scoreboard. 1432 01:31:35,089 --> 01:31:38,923 Linda! Linda, I've loved you since the day I met you! 1433 01:31:39,093 --> 01:31:41,254 I won't let you do this to us! 1434 01:31:42,697 --> 01:31:44,562 Don't marry him! 1435 01:31:44,899 --> 01:31:46,366 Don't marry him! 1436 01:31:47,702 --> 01:31:49,499 Wait! 1437 01:31:50,338 --> 01:31:52,966 Let this man finish what he came here to say. 1438 01:31:53,875 --> 01:31:55,103 Let the man back in. 1439 01:31:55,276 --> 01:31:58,541 - Who was that guy? - I think it's Regis Philbin. 1440 01:32:01,082 --> 01:32:04,245 Thank you, Mayor Giuliani. You're the man, by the way. 1441 01:32:06,053 --> 01:32:08,988 This clown better hurry up. My arm's starting to ice over. 1442 01:32:09,156 --> 01:32:11,647 Chill, Rocket. Goosfraba. 1443 01:32:11,826 --> 01:32:13,191 Goosfraba. 1444 01:32:13,995 --> 01:32:15,929 Goosfraba. 1445 01:32:18,766 --> 01:32:22,600 I can understand why you wanted to see other people. I really can. 1446 01:32:22,970 --> 01:32:25,461 Buddy Rydell is a psycho! 1447 01:32:25,973 --> 01:32:28,305 But he was right about one thing. 1448 01:32:29,610 --> 01:32:31,601 I was an angry guy. 1449 01:32:32,146 --> 01:32:34,307 Mainly angry at myself... 1450 01:32:34,482 --> 01:32:37,542 ...for letting people treat me like crap all the time. 1451 01:32:37,985 --> 01:32:40,476 But I don't want to be that angry guy anymore. 1452 01:32:40,655 --> 01:32:42,054 I wanna change. 1453 01:32:42,390 --> 01:32:43,721 If you give me a chance... 1454 01:32:43,891 --> 01:32:47,725 ...I can show you that I got the guts to stand up for what I believe in. 1455 01:32:47,895 --> 01:32:49,487 And I believe in us, Linda. 1456 01:32:49,764 --> 01:32:53,928 I love you with all my heart, and I know you love me back. 1457 01:32:54,802 --> 01:32:56,463 I should be your husband... 1458 01:32:57,038 --> 01:32:58,801 ...not that weirdo. 1459 01:33:00,274 --> 01:33:05,109 I want to have a family with you. I want to have kids with you. 1460 01:33:05,279 --> 01:33:08,112 Kids who have your eyes... 1461 01:33:08,282 --> 01:33:09,681 ...and your lips... 1462 01:33:10,284 --> 01:33:11,615 ...and my... 1463 01:33:12,353 --> 01:33:14,480 ...last name. That's all I wish on them. 1464 01:33:16,657 --> 01:33:19,091 Please marry me, Linda. 1465 01:33:24,865 --> 01:33:28,301 Before I make my decision, you have to do something for me. 1466 01:33:32,006 --> 01:33:35,169 You have to kiss me in front of all these people! 1467 01:33:41,148 --> 01:33:43,048 You can do it, David! 1468 01:33:45,019 --> 01:33:47,214 Give her a five-second Frencher! 1469 01:33:51,125 --> 01:33:53,389 Kiss her, David. 1470 01:33:54,295 --> 01:33:55,990 Kiss her, David. 1471 01:33:57,898 --> 01:33:59,729 Kiss her, David! 1472 01:34:00,701 --> 01:34:02,794 Kiss her, David. 1473 01:34:10,378 --> 01:34:12,437 Go Yankees! 1474 01:34:29,797 --> 01:34:31,992 Dave's a dirty boy. 1475 01:34:34,168 --> 01:34:35,760 That wasn't so bad, was it? 1476 01:34:36,270 --> 01:34:40,639 I can't believe you actually started to fall for that crazy man. 1477 01:34:40,808 --> 01:34:43,174 Buddy's not such a bad guy. 1478 01:34:48,582 --> 01:34:51,779 Congratulations! You just graduated from anger management! 1479 01:35:14,475 --> 01:35:17,035 I'm glad your car died. The train's romantic. 1480 01:35:17,211 --> 01:35:18,735 Don't change the subject. 1481 01:35:18,913 --> 01:35:23,782 You're telling me the past two weeks of my life was just therapy? 1482 01:35:23,984 --> 01:35:25,212 Well.... 1483 01:35:25,619 --> 01:35:26,608 Yeah. 1484 01:35:26,954 --> 01:35:29,081 I met with Buddy after reading his book... 1485 01:35:29,256 --> 01:35:32,623 ...and I told him about some of the things going on in your life... 1486 01:35:32,827 --> 01:35:37,787 ...and how upset it was making you and how nuts it was making me. 1487 01:35:39,467 --> 01:35:42,732 He said that he thought he could help, but it would be tough. 1488 01:35:42,970 --> 01:35:44,961 So how much of this thing was a setup? 1489 01:35:45,206 --> 01:35:49,506 Well, the guy in your seat on the plane, the flight attendant, the judge... 1490 01:35:49,677 --> 01:35:51,668 ...they're all friends of Buddy's. 1491 01:35:51,846 --> 01:35:55,213 What about the air marshal who tasered me? Was he in on it? 1492 01:35:55,382 --> 01:35:57,213 No, he was just having a bad day. 1493 01:35:57,384 --> 01:35:59,978 Son of a bitch. 1494 01:36:11,699 --> 01:36:13,929 Skipper, how you doing? 1495 01:36:15,936 --> 01:36:18,996 Buddy Rydell, you're a great man. 1496 01:36:19,273 --> 01:36:22,640 I was just doing my job. I never doubted you for a minute. 1497 01:36:22,977 --> 01:36:25,343 Except when Galaxia had ahold of you. 1498 01:36:27,248 --> 01:36:29,580 Did you just call that guy Buddy Rydell? 1499 01:36:30,985 --> 01:36:33,818 A guy named Buddy Rydell left this card... 1500 01:36:33,988 --> 01:36:35,615 ...on what's left of my Lexus! 1501 01:36:35,790 --> 01:36:38,384 Oh, yeah. For insurance purposes. 1502 01:36:38,559 --> 01:36:40,493 Your insurance was canceled! 1503 01:36:42,830 --> 01:36:44,661 Grenada! 1504 01:36:45,499 --> 01:36:48,866 Don't point that gun at Buddy. I'm the one who smashed your car up. 1505 01:36:49,036 --> 01:36:50,162 - Dave?! - No! 1506 01:36:50,371 --> 01:36:51,963 I'm sick of guys like this. 1507 01:36:52,139 --> 01:36:54,471 You wanna mess with my friends, shoot me first. 1508 01:36:54,642 --> 01:36:55,870 - Don't! - Are you crazy? 1509 01:36:56,210 --> 01:36:57,370 Settle down. 1510 01:36:57,545 --> 01:37:00,207 Butt out! Tough guy's going to learn a lesson. 1511 01:37:01,549 --> 01:37:04,916 I'm not afraid. Dr. Rydell taught me not to be afraid of anybody. 1512 01:37:07,388 --> 01:37:09,549 Can I ask you a question, though? 1513 01:37:18,265 --> 01:37:19,892 Got you! 1514 01:37:23,904 --> 01:37:26,896 Dr. B, Davey just pulled a joke on us! 1515 01:37:27,107 --> 01:37:29,439 And how does that make you feel, Lou? 1516 01:37:41,589 --> 01:37:43,454 Chuck. 1517 01:37:43,624 --> 01:37:46,092 We were just doing a joke. That's my friend. 1518 01:37:46,293 --> 01:37:47,692 Are you okay? 1519 01:37:51,565 --> 01:37:54,033 He feels stunning.