2 00:01:08,102 --> 00:01:09,211 And that's the news. 3 00:01:09,311 --> 00:01:14,751 But before we sign off, we'd like to congratulate our very own Evan Baxter, 4 00:01:14,786 --> 00:01:18,112 who has just been elected Buffalo's representative to Congress. 5 00:01:18,653 --> 00:01:20,428 And, now, we have a surprise for Evan. 6 00:01:20,428 --> 00:01:21,213 - No, you don't. - We do. 7 00:01:21,213 --> 00:01:24,113 Oh, no. I really didn't expect this. 8 00:01:24,547 --> 00:01:27,210 Here's a look back at his run for office. 9 00:01:29,453 --> 00:01:30,755 What are we gonna do? 10 00:01:31,018 --> 00:01:32,666 Change the world! 11 00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:33,857 That's right! 12 00:01:40,519 --> 00:01:42,780 Baxter! Baxter! Baxter! 13 00:01:49,681 --> 00:01:50,343 Hi. 14 00:01:50,343 --> 00:01:51,618 Baxter! Baxter! 15 00:01:51,618 --> 00:01:53,429 That's right! 16 00:01:58,166 --> 00:02:02,737 I feel like that old Indian in front of all the garbage. 17 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:09,343 So, for the last time, this is Evan Baxter for "Eyewitness News". Good night. 18 00:02:25,441 --> 00:02:28,844 Huntsville, Virginia. Prestige Crest, four miles. 19 00:02:28,879 --> 00:02:30,503 What did we do before GPS? 20 00:02:30,615 --> 00:02:31,375 Nothing. 21 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,722 Guys, dad's very proud of his new car. 22 00:02:33,814 --> 00:02:38,450 He-hey, I am proud of my new car. Look, I'm a politician now. 23 00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:41,308 I'm in the public eye, and as you know, when you are in the public eye, 24 00:02:41,308 --> 00:02:43,188 image is everything, isn't it? 25 00:02:47,976 --> 00:02:50,681 Here it is! Welcome to the good life. 26 00:02:50,681 --> 00:02:54,476 Hey, guys, why the long faces? We're off on a new adventure! 27 00:02:55,490 --> 00:02:57,434 It's just we're gonna miss our friends. 28 00:02:57,531 --> 00:02:59,479 You'll make new friends, better friends. 29 00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:00,738 Yeah, richer friends. 30 00:03:00,738 --> 00:03:04,559 Do not mouth off to me, sir. I am the boss of you. 31 00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:07,264 And let me tell you something, you guys are gonna love this place. 32 00:03:07,329 --> 00:03:11,123 Oh, and you know what? I think there's something for our fishermen up there. 33 00:03:12,006 --> 00:03:15,247 Baxter family, this is what's called a scenic vista. 34 00:03:15,247 --> 00:03:19,316 And I don't think the big man himself could do a better job. Pretty cool, huh? 35 00:03:19,351 --> 00:03:21,952 Hey, dad, an iguana can stay underwater for 28 minutes. 36 00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:22,310 What's that? 37 00:03:22,310 --> 00:03:24,027 - And a shrimp's heart is in its head. - Really? 38 00:03:24,048 --> 00:03:26,355 Okay, someone's had enough "Animal Planet" for one lifetime. 39 00:03:26,355 --> 00:03:28,291 Yeah, let's head out! Come on. The best is yet to come! 40 00:03:30,092 --> 00:03:32,855 Gentlemen, I have saved the best for last. 41 00:03:33,045 --> 00:03:36,721 Look over to the right. That... is your new home. 42 00:03:42,966 --> 00:03:43,728 Whoa! 43 00:03:43,728 --> 00:03:44,918 That's our house? 44 00:03:44,918 --> 00:03:46,210 - Uh-huh. - I don't remember it being 45 00:03:46,210 --> 00:03:48,526 this big in the brochure. Was it this big in the brochure? 46 00:03:48,526 --> 00:03:49,441 Pretty amazing, isn't it? 47 00:03:49,770 --> 00:03:51,590 There they are! 48 00:03:52,890 --> 00:03:55,254 Is this curb appeal or what? 49 00:03:55,254 --> 00:03:56,484 Here we go! 50 00:03:56,871 --> 00:03:58,729 Ooh, honey, I think you're blocking my photo. 51 00:03:58,729 --> 00:03:59,294 Sorry. 52 00:03:59,294 --> 00:04:01,643 All right, everybody! Say "escrow"! 53 00:04:01,643 --> 00:04:04,905 Escrow! 54 00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:07,383 Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Go. Go. Go. 55 00:04:07,938 --> 00:04:09,932 Guys, easy. 56 00:04:12,356 --> 00:04:13,880 This is our house? 57 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:14,906 Uh-huh. 58 00:04:15,501 --> 00:04:16,524 Careful! 59 00:04:16,905 --> 00:04:18,700 - Oh, honey, be careful! - Watch it! 60 00:04:18,735 --> 00:04:19,817 Are you kidding me? 61 00:04:19,852 --> 00:04:21,114 - Mom, can we go upstairs? - Yep. 62 00:04:21,114 --> 00:04:22,515 - And I get my own room, right? - Yep. 63 00:04:24,171 --> 00:04:26,891 Mr. Baxter, could you give us some direction on these kitchen cabinets? 64 00:04:26,987 --> 00:04:27,828 Sure. 65 00:04:27,913 --> 00:04:32,283 Okay, it's between your maple and your old-growth Brazilian cherry. 66 00:04:32,283 --> 00:04:34,290 Ooh, that is nice! Which is best? 67 00:04:34,363 --> 00:04:37,437 Well, if you're not sensitive to that "save the rainforest" stuff, 68 00:04:37,437 --> 00:04:39,014 you can't beat the Brazilian cherry. 69 00:04:39,014 --> 00:04:40,335 It's two-three hundred years old. 70 00:04:40,335 --> 00:04:41,765 - Three hundred years. - Three hundred. 71 00:04:41,765 --> 00:04:43,118 Wow. That is old. 72 00:04:43,401 --> 00:04:45,891 And now you are going to hold my dishes. 73 00:04:45,963 --> 00:04:47,668 - That's right. You going with the cherry? - Cheery cherry! 74 00:04:47,668 --> 00:04:49,376 - Yeah. Definitely. - He's going with the cherry! 75 00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:51,241 Dad, look! 76 00:04:51,241 --> 00:04:52,801 Oh. No. No, no, no, no! No. 77 00:04:52,801 --> 00:04:55,082 Ryan, do not touch him, please! 78 00:04:55,371 --> 00:04:57,027 Oh, no, no, no, no, get him away! 79 00:04:57,027 --> 00:04:59,452 No. He might have lice, fleas, maggots or something. 80 00:04:59,452 --> 00:05:01,529 You do not play with stray dogs because they are very... 81 00:05:01,653 --> 00:05:04,276 Ooh! No, no! Get away, get away! Go! 82 00:05:05,128 --> 00:05:06,870 Okay. Oh, no, no, no. 83 00:05:06,870 --> 00:05:08,061 - He's thirsty. - No, no, no. 84 00:05:08,096 --> 00:05:11,323 No, you don't! There we go. 85 00:05:11,358 --> 00:05:12,874 Well, Ryan, he's a stray. 86 00:05:12,874 --> 00:05:14,525 If we give him water, he's just going to come back. 87 00:05:14,525 --> 00:05:18,100 Come on, dad, why can't we keep him? I mean, we've got a new house. 88 00:05:18,135 --> 00:05:20,044 Okay, Ryan, this is why we can't keep him. 89 00:05:20,079 --> 00:05:22,808 They are stinky. They are smelly. They get hair all over the place. 90 00:05:22,808 --> 00:05:24,024 They get a little thing called the mange. 91 00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:27,056 In a nutshell, he is disgusting. Case in point. 92 00:05:32,038 --> 00:05:35,153 Ladies and gentlemen, this concludes day one 93 00:05:35,153 --> 00:05:36,935 of the Baxters' new and exciting life. 94 00:05:36,967 --> 00:05:38,879 I have to do the new house dance. 95 00:05:39,599 --> 00:05:41,561 Wow! That dance? 96 00:05:41,749 --> 00:05:43,054 - Mmm-hmm. - That's a good new house dance. 97 00:05:43,154 --> 00:05:44,454 Thank you. 98 00:05:44,982 --> 00:05:47,231 You know, those boys were having so much fun tonight, 99 00:05:47,231 --> 00:05:49,048 I thought I would never get them to bed. 100 00:05:49,048 --> 00:05:54,133 And then Ryan did the cutest thing. He asked if we could all pray together. 101 00:05:57,045 --> 00:05:57,118 Really? What, uh, what did you pray about? 102 00:05:57,153 --> 00:05:59,197 He met a dog. What do you think he prayed for? 103 00:06:01,125 --> 00:06:03,954 Just a walking petri dish, that dog. 104 00:06:03,983 --> 00:06:06,138 And Jordan was very precise. 105 00:06:06,138 --> 00:06:10,163 He prayed for... good visibility, good weather on the hiking trip tomorrow. 106 00:06:10,177 --> 00:06:13,691 The hiking trip? Oh, right. Yeah. The hiking trip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 107 00:06:13,691 --> 00:06:15,340 You wanna know what I prayed for? 108 00:06:15,436 --> 00:06:17,236 Yeah. What did you pray for? 109 00:06:17,595 --> 00:06:21,064 I prayed we would become closer as a family. 110 00:06:21,532 --> 00:06:26,446 Honey, you don't need to pray for that to happen. I will make that happen. 111 00:06:27,693 --> 00:06:29,166 What would you pray for? 112 00:06:29,291 --> 00:06:32,275 Me? I don't know. Praying just... 113 00:06:33,806 --> 00:06:37,893 Honey, you're the one who said you wanted to change the world. 114 00:06:38,121 --> 00:06:40,251 It's a pretty big job. 115 00:06:40,417 --> 00:06:42,953 If it were me, I would take all the help I could get. 116 00:06:48,303 --> 00:06:51,388 Former Buffalo News anchor, Evan Baxter, takes office tomorrow 117 00:06:51,388 --> 00:06:53,833 to make good on a lofty campaign promise. 118 00:06:53,833 --> 00:06:54,985 What are we gonna do? 119 00:06:54,985 --> 00:06:56,375 Change the world! 120 00:06:56,410 --> 00:07:00,112 Good luck, Congressman. Many have tried, many have failed. 121 00:07:00,147 --> 00:07:00,766 Hello! 122 00:07:00,766 --> 00:07:02,872 This is Regina Sparks reporting for NS... 123 00:07:20,538 --> 00:07:22,691 Hello, there. Hi. 124 00:07:23,337 --> 00:07:25,898 This is Evan... Baxter. 125 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:29,880 Um... Just wanted to say thank you for everything. 126 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:33,937 Thank you for the new car and for the house. 127 00:07:33,937 --> 00:07:36,770 The house is great. Um, love it. 128 00:07:37,351 --> 00:07:42,086 I mean, I picked it out, but... you created matter and everything, so... 129 00:07:43,917 --> 00:07:49,132 Um... I just wanted to say that I think Joan makes a good point, 130 00:07:49,132 --> 00:07:53,877 and... that I am now in a position of great power, 131 00:07:53,877 --> 00:07:58,061 and I know that with great power comes great responsibility. 132 00:07:59,864 --> 00:08:02,009 So, God, 133 00:08:05,829 --> 00:08:08,683 please help me change the world. 134 00:08:10,155 --> 00:08:13,333 Okay. That's it. I'm hanging up now. 135 00:08:13,921 --> 00:08:16,446 God bless... well, you. Okay. 136 00:08:39,510 --> 00:08:41,557 What? That's weird. 137 00:08:41,847 --> 00:08:42,783 What? 138 00:08:42,818 --> 00:08:44,522 I set the alarm for 7:00. 139 00:09:18,709 --> 00:09:20,718 I am successful. I am powerful. I am handsome. 140 00:09:20,718 --> 00:09:23,280 I am happy, successful, powerful, handsome, happy. 141 00:09:29,618 --> 00:09:29,635 All right, everyone, wish me luck. The Congressman has left the building. 142 00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:34,422 All right, Baxter brood, I will see you later on this afternoon for the big hike. Huh? Yes? 143 00:09:34,912 --> 00:09:36,278 You psyched? Are you ready? 144 00:09:36,442 --> 00:09:36,990 Yeah. 145 00:09:36,990 --> 00:09:37,891 - Bye. - Good luck, honey. 146 00:09:37,991 --> 00:09:39,613 - See ya. Bye, guys! - See you later. 147 00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:40,796 Later, gator. 148 00:09:42,292 --> 00:09:44,044 Oh, gosh. 149 00:09:44,073 --> 00:09:46,786 Wow. Honey, did you order anything? 150 00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:49,191 "Alpha and Omega Hardware"? 151 00:09:49,191 --> 00:09:50,005 Never heard of them. 152 00:09:50,005 --> 00:09:51,082 Me either. 153 00:09:52,351 --> 00:09:53,916 What do we have? 154 00:09:55,389 --> 00:09:56,804 What is this stuff? 155 00:09:58,611 --> 00:10:00,248 Must have the wrong address. 156 00:10:00,826 --> 00:10:03,046 Yup. The wrong address. 157 00:10:05,530 --> 00:10:07,534 - Congressman Baxter. Good morning. - Good morning. 158 00:10:07,669 --> 00:10:09,192 - Good morning, Congressman Baxter. - Hello. 159 00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,327 - Good morning, Congressman Baxter. - Good morning. 160 00:10:11,937 --> 00:10:15,166 Oh, this is so cool. 161 00:10:16,894 --> 00:10:17,843 Uh-huh. 162 00:10:17,855 --> 00:10:19,917 Yeah. This'll work. 163 00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:23,846 There he is! The head honcho. The big kahuna. 164 00:10:23,846 --> 00:10:25,752 Rita, I think I have to do the dance. 165 00:10:25,787 --> 00:10:27,084 Do the dance. 166 00:10:30,570 --> 00:10:31,985 That's enough of the dance. 167 00:10:32,020 --> 00:10:34,420 Oh, this is nice! This is really nice! 168 00:10:34,455 --> 00:10:36,532 This is too nice. There's something crooked going on. 169 00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:38,327 Do you smell anthrax? 170 00:10:38,362 --> 00:10:40,020 - Congressman! - Hey, Marty! 171 00:10:40,020 --> 00:10:41,735 Ooh. Nice sound to that. I like it. 172 00:10:41,770 --> 00:10:42,568 Here they are! 173 00:10:43,629 --> 00:10:44,850 All right. 174 00:10:44,885 --> 00:10:46,524 You remember Sarah, Allen, Michael. 175 00:10:46,759 --> 00:10:48,720 I don't think you know the new kid Eugene Tennanbaum. 176 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:49,716 I found him at G.W. 177 00:10:49,716 --> 00:10:53,175 Sort of a walking search engine. Watch this. How many stars on the flag in 1818? 178 00:10:53,175 --> 00:10:53,685 15. 179 00:10:53,685 --> 00:10:55,811 And Congressman Baxter's coffee habits? 180 00:10:55,811 --> 00:10:58,934 He likes a morning latte with a cruller, a decaf espresso after lunch, 181 00:10:58,934 --> 00:11:00,836 served sans pastry of any kind. 182 00:11:00,836 --> 00:11:03,236 Very impressive. A little freaky, but I like this kid. 183 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:05,015 I love you. 184 00:11:05,877 --> 00:11:06,905 Hmm? 185 00:11:07,470 --> 00:11:10,951 I mean, we should hang out socially. I just got a ping-pong table. 186 00:11:10,951 --> 00:11:12,524 Not... going to happen. 187 00:11:12,559 --> 00:11:16,012 Go find out where his license plates are. Everybody else, back to your holes. 188 00:11:16,012 --> 00:11:16,607 He was actually right. 189 00:11:16,707 --> 00:11:18,862 I'm doing a background check on that kid. 190 00:11:18,927 --> 00:11:23,801 Ta-da! This, my friend, is a power office, to remind you of the mission! 191 00:11:23,801 --> 00:11:25,170 "Change the world!" 192 00:11:25,170 --> 00:11:27,131 Okay, Evan, who do you know? - What do you mean? 193 00:11:27,131 --> 00:11:29,129 Oh, come on. Yesterday we're in the basement. 194 00:11:29,129 --> 00:11:30,991 Today, look at this place. It's like the Emerald City! 195 00:11:31,026 --> 00:11:34,433 "Enjoy your office. Your neighbor, Congressman Long." 196 00:11:34,468 --> 00:11:36,638 Congressman Long did thi...? Did you say "neighbor"? 197 00:11:36,673 --> 00:11:39,581 That's right. He lives in Prestige Crest, right up the street. 198 00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:43,413 Evan, you gotta tell me these things. Think of the publicity angle on this! 199 00:11:43,448 --> 00:11:45,937 You and Congressman Long having a barbecue. 200 00:11:45,972 --> 00:11:48,011 Congressman Long eating your hot dog. 201 00:11:48,046 --> 00:11:49,662 Hate to break up your little weenie roast. 202 00:11:49,697 --> 00:11:52,302 Congressman Long's assistant just dropped this off. 203 00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:53,413 The Congressman would like for you 204 00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:56,186 to junior cosponsor this bill that he's introducing. 205 00:11:56,186 --> 00:12:00,471 Hold on. Congressman Long asked us to junior cosponsor his bill? What's the bill? 206 00:12:00,506 --> 00:12:03,317 The... Citizens' Integration of Public Lands Act. 207 00:12:03,317 --> 00:12:06,898 Never heard of it. Gene, here, now. Rita, why didn't you tell me about this? 208 00:12:06,898 --> 00:12:07,799 I just did. 209 00:12:07,799 --> 00:12:09,573 You need to tell me about it before I need to know about it. 210 00:12:09,573 --> 00:12:11,215 - Marty, you are not the vice congressman. - I am the legislative... 211 00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:15,116 Nobody voted for you. If Evan gets shot in the head, you do not automatically... 212 00:12:15,216 --> 00:12:17,116 If Evan got shot in the head, you're the first suspect. 213 00:12:17,116 --> 00:12:18,216 Play nice. Play nice. 214 00:12:18,316 --> 00:12:20,317 All right, Eugene, Congressman Long's bill. What is it? 215 00:12:20,417 --> 00:12:23,417 HR7124, better known as CINPLAN. 216 00:12:23,517 --> 00:12:26,638 The bill would open up fringe areas of the national parks for development. 217 00:12:26,638 --> 00:12:27,618 Long's been sitting on it for ages... 218 00:12:27,718 --> 00:12:30,158 Got it. Pause. Come on, Evan, this is huge. 219 00:12:30,193 --> 00:12:31,891 You hitch your wagon to the right star, 220 00:12:31,891 --> 00:12:34,039 you could ride all the way down to Pennsylvania Avenue. 221 00:12:34,039 --> 00:12:35,446 This is day one. 222 00:12:35,481 --> 00:12:37,677 You got your name on a major piece of legislation! 223 00:12:37,712 --> 00:12:40,464 Oh, and another thing, he wants you to read it today. 224 00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:42,020 Well, I can't... do it today. 225 00:12:42,020 --> 00:12:43,220 I promised my kids... - Eugene. 226 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:45,462 Well, sir, there's a time clock on the bill. 227 00:12:45,462 --> 00:12:47,321 If Congressman Long wants to pass it this quarter, 228 00:12:47,607 --> 00:12:50,026 he's gonna have to introduce it to the committee immediately. 229 00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:52,593 I'm personally going with whatever Congressman Baxter decides, 230 00:12:52,593 --> 00:12:55,010 because if I could be like one man, it'd be him. 231 00:12:55,574 --> 00:12:57,004 Either him or Kareem. 232 00:12:57,004 --> 00:12:58,146 Can I tase him? 233 00:12:58,146 --> 00:12:59,516 Gene! Heel! 234 00:12:59,551 --> 00:13:00,821 It'd probably be you. 235 00:13:00,856 --> 00:13:04,439 Come on, Evan, this is it! This is why we came here! 236 00:13:04,474 --> 00:13:06,666 It's world-changing time! 237 00:13:09,501 --> 00:13:10,923 Hey, anybody home? 238 00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:12,257 Hey, dad, come on. We're in here! 239 00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,188 Hey, guys. 240 00:13:14,029 --> 00:13:17,638 Dad, guess what? I got all your stuff packed up so that we can... 241 00:13:19,149 --> 00:13:20,282 What's wrong? 242 00:13:21,462 --> 00:13:22,989 We're not going, are we? 243 00:13:23,024 --> 00:13:28,098 First things first. I have been asked to junior cosponsor a bill. 244 00:13:28,537 --> 00:13:29,515 Yeah. 245 00:13:29,624 --> 00:13:32,335 See? I told you. And you owe me five bucks. 246 00:13:32,370 --> 00:13:33,797 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Guys! 247 00:13:33,832 --> 00:13:36,695 Hey. Hey, we said we would have to make sacrifices, right? 248 00:13:36,695 --> 00:13:39,062 Yeah. Whatever. New house, same old dad. 249 00:13:39,062 --> 00:13:41,071 Hey, I'm the one who has to read this thing! 250 00:13:41,106 --> 00:13:45,578 Hey. Did you hear? Junior cosponsor of a bill. 251 00:13:47,222 --> 00:13:51,815 Okay, Ry, let's clean all this stuff up. Dad's got work to do. 252 00:14:08,784 --> 00:14:10,634 No. It's 6:14. 253 00:14:10,734 --> 00:14:15,195 Of course. Voodoo clock speaks again. 254 00:14:22,656 --> 00:14:23,649 What the... 255 00:14:24,561 --> 00:14:29,062 Hey! Hey! Hey! No. Okay. 256 00:14:29,062 --> 00:14:31,583 Whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa! What's going on? 257 00:14:32,088 --> 00:14:34,564 I got a delivery for... Evan Baxter! 258 00:14:34,599 --> 00:14:36,441 Yeah, that's not mine. I didn't order that! 259 00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:40,105 I just deliver, guy, huh? You got a complaint, call the number! 260 00:14:40,105 --> 00:14:44,223 No! Hey! Listen! We are 416, not 614! 261 00:14:44,223 --> 00:14:48,490 You've got the wrong house! You can't leave that there! 262 00:14:48,590 --> 00:14:51,066 Listen! Listen! 263 00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:53,190 That's gonna leave a brown patch! 264 00:14:54,042 --> 00:14:56,346 I am a U.S. Congressman! 265 00:15:08,618 --> 00:15:10,369 Dad, what are you doing? I'm watching this. 266 00:15:10,404 --> 00:15:12,141 Genesis 6:14. 267 00:15:15,780 --> 00:15:17,330 Gen 6:14. 268 00:15:17,689 --> 00:15:19,788 Joan! Do we have a Bible anywhere? 269 00:15:28,393 --> 00:15:29,917 Genesis 6:14. 270 00:15:29,952 --> 00:15:32,529 "Make thee an ark of gopher wood..." 271 00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:34,661 Gopher wood? 272 00:15:47,349 --> 00:15:49,559 "Go-4-wood." Get it? 273 00:15:53,457 --> 00:15:57,216 Well, it's... not really gopher wood. I just like the wordplay. 274 00:15:57,251 --> 00:15:58,482 No, it's pine and maple. 275 00:15:58,517 --> 00:16:01,970 It was clear-cut from this valley to make room for all those houses. 276 00:16:02,125 --> 00:16:03,863 Excuse me. Do I know you? 277 00:16:03,898 --> 00:16:05,650 Not as well as I'd like. 278 00:16:07,261 --> 00:16:09,552 I see you got my housewarming gift. 279 00:16:09,813 --> 00:16:12,307 That was you? You sent those? 280 00:16:12,442 --> 00:16:14,859 What are they for? Hey! Hey. 281 00:16:15,113 --> 00:16:17,669 Genesis, chapter six, verse fourteen. 282 00:16:18,081 --> 00:16:19,953 I want you to build an ark. 283 00:16:19,988 --> 00:16:22,282 You want me to build an ark. 284 00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:23,368 Yes. 285 00:16:23,528 --> 00:16:28,741 So that's why the tools... And you are responsible for the wood? 286 00:16:29,582 --> 00:16:32,043 All right. Well, let's just start over. 287 00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:35,288 Hello, I am Evan Ba... 288 00:16:35,288 --> 00:16:38,482 Evan Baxter. Born June 15, 1962. 289 00:16:38,482 --> 00:16:40,010 Eight pounds, 11 ounces. 290 00:16:40,010 --> 00:16:43,538 Mother's Carroll Ann Parker. Father, Eugene Evan Baxter. 291 00:16:43,538 --> 00:16:47,614 Ooh-hoo-hoo. You have internet access. Very impressive. Do you also have cable? 292 00:16:47,614 --> 00:16:51,087 You're a clean freak. You care much too much about your outward appearance. 293 00:16:51,087 --> 00:16:53,602 Your left nipple is a quarter inch higher than your right nipple. 294 00:16:53,602 --> 00:16:57,043 And when you were a little boy, you were afraid of Gumby. 295 00:16:58,253 --> 00:16:59,598 Who are you? 296 00:17:00,593 --> 00:17:02,019 I'm God. 297 00:17:02,441 --> 00:17:03,774 You're God? 298 00:17:03,774 --> 00:17:09,200 Yes. And I want you, Evan Baxter, to build an ark. 299 00:17:09,957 --> 00:17:15,032 Okay. You know what? This conversation is a little thing I like to call... over! 300 00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:20,039 But I gotta get going, because, frankly, I have an ark to build. 301 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:24,327 Busy, busy, busy, busy. Nice meeting you. Take care. Oh, and... 302 00:17:28,734 --> 00:17:31,080 All right, see you later! 303 00:17:33,112 --> 00:17:36,684 Shake it off, Evan. It's over. The nutcase is gone. 304 00:17:36,684 --> 00:17:39,911 I am successful, I'm powerful, I'm handsome, I'm happy. 305 00:17:39,911 --> 00:17:41,802 Successful, powerful, handsome, happy! 306 00:17:43,538 --> 00:17:45,861 Get it out, son. It's the beginning of wisdom. 307 00:17:45,861 --> 00:17:48,050 How did you get in here? I'm calling the cops. 308 00:17:48,085 --> 00:17:50,669 Oh, no. No need! Look! Look. There's one right there. Right there. 309 00:17:51,014 --> 00:17:56,964 Officer! Officer! Officer! Carjacker! Carjacker in the car! Carjacker in the car! 310 00:18:00,289 --> 00:18:03,864 Careful pulling out. Pedestrian in the crosswalk. 311 00:18:35,295 --> 00:18:37,306 Shake it off, shake it off! Shake it off, shake it off! 312 00:18:41,155 --> 00:18:42,349 Morning, chief! 313 00:18:43,462 --> 00:18:44,566 Good morning, Rita. 314 00:18:44,601 --> 00:18:47,402 You almost scared me to death! What's wrong with you? 315 00:18:47,437 --> 00:18:49,419 Nothing. Just sort of a weird ride in. 316 00:18:49,437 --> 00:18:50,078 Weird how? 317 00:18:50,178 --> 00:18:51,866 It was just a weird ride in. 318 00:18:52,081 --> 00:18:54,235 Okay, well, thanks for clarifying. 319 00:18:55,226 --> 00:18:57,561 Here's your mail and your schedule. - Okay. 320 00:18:57,561 --> 00:19:01,099 Oh, and they finally fixed the phones. My new extension is 6-14. 321 00:19:03,192 --> 00:19:04,247 6-14. 322 00:19:04,247 --> 00:19:05,381 Yeah. 6-1-4? 323 00:19:05,481 --> 00:19:06,812 Right. 324 00:19:07,558 --> 00:19:09,348 You want me to write that down? 325 00:19:10,012 --> 00:19:12,122 I'd rather you didn't. 326 00:19:13,242 --> 00:19:14,161 Good morning. 327 00:19:14,266 --> 00:19:16,582 Hey, Long came through with that seat on the House Resource Committee. 328 00:19:16,682 --> 00:19:19,183 You stuck in your thumb and pulled out a plum, my friend. 329 00:19:19,454 --> 00:19:21,183 Also, the new Congressional plates just came in. 330 00:19:21,283 --> 00:19:24,684 Gene, plates, now. And Alex at the Buffalo office had her baby. 331 00:19:24,784 --> 00:19:26,584 - Boy or girl? - A little boy. And here he is. 332 00:19:26,584 --> 00:19:29,785 Just as cute as a button. Not bad for such an ugly woman. Weighed in at... 333 00:19:29,885 --> 00:19:31,585 Six pounds, 14 ounces. 334 00:19:32,385 --> 00:19:33,585 How'd you know that? 335 00:19:33,757 --> 00:19:34,685 Lucky guess. 336 00:19:35,886 --> 00:19:40,897 Hot, hot, hot! Hot off the press! It's a joke. Here are your plates, sir. 337 00:19:41,986 --> 00:19:44,187 Those are rock-star plates, man. You can park anywhere. 338 00:19:44,187 --> 00:19:45,287 You can't be sitting in a chair. 339 00:19:45,387 --> 00:19:46,887 You got a committee meeting in five minutes. 340 00:19:46,887 --> 00:19:52,329 Come on, BMIC, Big Man in Congress. Evan Baxter, the shark on the move. 341 00:19:59,513 --> 00:20:01,537 House Resources Committee is now in order. 342 00:20:01,537 --> 00:20:03,590 The Chair recognizes the congresswoman from Tennessee 343 00:20:03,690 --> 00:20:05,654 to lead the Pledge of Allegiance. 344 00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:09,026 I pledge allegiance to the flag... 345 00:20:09,061 --> 00:20:11,591 of the United States of America 346 00:20:11,691 --> 00:20:15,292 and to the Republic, for which it stands... 347 00:20:15,292 --> 00:20:17,292 - ...one nation, under me... - One nation, under God... 348 00:20:17,292 --> 00:20:21,493 Indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. 349 00:20:23,241 --> 00:20:26,606 How long do you want to do this, son? I've got all eternity. 350 00:20:37,206 --> 00:20:39,952 Hey. You okay, young man? 351 00:20:41,538 --> 00:20:42,978 - What happened? - You fainted. 352 00:20:42,978 --> 00:20:44,942 Dropped like a leaf during the Pledge of Allegiance. 353 00:20:44,942 --> 00:20:47,428 Chuck Long, Resources Committee Chairman. 354 00:20:47,428 --> 00:20:50,797 Oh. Oh. Congressman Long. Yes. Oh, I'm so... I'm so sorry... 355 00:20:50,897 --> 00:20:55,087 Forget it! Many a man's been humbled by his first day in Congress. 356 00:20:55,235 --> 00:20:56,884 So, how'd you like that office? 357 00:20:56,919 --> 00:20:58,893 Oh, it was great. Yes. Thank you, sir. 358 00:20:58,893 --> 00:21:01,115 Not bad for a freshman dorm room, huh? 359 00:21:01,499 --> 00:21:03,100 So, here's the skinny. 360 00:21:03,100 --> 00:21:05,155 I'm bringing you into my land use bill 361 00:21:05,155 --> 00:21:08,421 because you strike me as the type of guy who knows how to hit the ground running. 362 00:21:08,456 --> 00:21:12,018 Yes, sir. I read the bill, and it's great. I just had a few questions. 363 00:21:12,053 --> 00:21:14,302 Hey, I wrote the thing and I have a few questions. 364 00:21:14,337 --> 00:21:17,529 We'll get to the questions later. So, you with us? 365 00:21:17,529 --> 00:21:19,245 - Yes, sir. I'm in. - Wonderful! 366 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:21,123 I'll need you to put that into a letter of intent, 367 00:21:21,123 --> 00:21:23,578 as soon as you're feeling up to it, of course. You get yourself better. 368 00:21:23,578 --> 00:21:25,186 Enjoy that office. 369 00:21:25,186 --> 00:21:26,561 Thank you, sir. 370 00:21:26,596 --> 00:21:30,964 He's exhausted from reading that bill. I got woozy from just carrying it. 371 00:21:31,189 --> 00:21:32,607 Evan, sit down. 372 00:21:32,642 --> 00:21:33,721 Evan, what happened to you? 373 00:21:33,721 --> 00:21:36,151 You can't faint during the Pledge of Allegiance. It's un-American. 374 00:21:36,186 --> 00:21:37,105 Oh, good. The doctor's here. 375 00:21:37,105 --> 00:21:38,205 Say "ah". 376 00:21:40,021 --> 00:21:44,193 Just go home, get some rest and start on that ark. You hear me? 377 00:21:50,279 --> 00:21:51,426 Evan? 378 00:21:52,147 --> 00:21:55,127 Okay. God warned Noah that a great flood was coming. 379 00:21:55,127 --> 00:21:58,637 Noah build the ark for his wife and 3 sons... 380 00:22:03,609 --> 00:22:07,452 The ark was 300 qubics long and 50 qubics high. 381 00:22:07,723 --> 00:22:09,199 That's... insane. 382 00:22:09,910 --> 00:22:12,495 - What's insane? - Hm? 383 00:22:12,530 --> 00:22:13,410 Congressman Long's bill? 384 00:22:13,410 --> 00:22:15,988 Yea... The bill. That's what I was looking at... Oh, man, 385 00:22:15,988 --> 00:22:19,204 there's a lot of, uh... a lot of research to do on it 386 00:22:20,455 --> 00:22:23,212 You know, baby, you have every right to be freaked out. 387 00:22:23,994 --> 00:22:25,885 I'm not freaked out, why would I be freaked out? 388 00:22:25,885 --> 00:22:30,239 I'm freaking out, this house alone is as huge as Jasmine and you got a new job and... 389 00:22:30,496 --> 00:22:35,261 new land act bill you're working on, we're in a new town... I mean, that's alot of new. 390 00:22:35,526 --> 00:22:36,790 So you thinking I'm just stressed? 391 00:22:36,814 --> 00:22:41,161 Evan, honey, I've known you 20 years. I know your stressed. 392 00:22:46,316 --> 00:22:48,716 - Well, that's the sugar kicking in. - Yes, it is. 393 00:22:49,216 --> 00:22:51,843 Thank you honey - Enjoy your ice cream. 394 00:22:51,843 --> 00:22:52,832 I will, thanks. 395 00:22:54,289 --> 00:22:56,688 She's right. This is crazy. 396 00:22:56,894 --> 00:22:58,953 I'm just stressed and you are gone. 397 00:23:03,691 --> 00:23:05,917 Gooood morning, troops! 398 00:23:05,917 --> 00:23:08,789 - Good morning. - Good morning. How are you? 399 00:23:10,525 --> 00:23:11,878 Somebody is in a good mood. 400 00:23:11,878 --> 00:23:16,006 I am. I thought about what you said and you are right, I need to get my head on straight. 401 00:23:16,006 --> 00:23:19,318 Guess what? This weekend we're going on a hiking trip. 402 00:23:19,721 --> 00:23:23,319 Yeeaa. Right here. High five me. Righteous. Righteous. 403 00:23:23,319 --> 00:23:25,150 We're gonna have a righteous hiking trip. 404 00:23:25,222 --> 00:23:27,970 Hey, dad, look! Two doves. That's supposed to be good luck. 405 00:23:27,970 --> 00:23:30,561 Hmm... Well, today must be my lucky day. 406 00:23:30,596 --> 00:23:32,925 Bye, guys. - Bye-bye 407 00:23:36,816 --> 00:23:39,498 Good morning, kitties. Keep moving... find your house. 408 00:23:54,458 --> 00:23:57,374 Hey! When you're on my lawn, keep it in your pot! 409 00:24:02,843 --> 00:24:07,318 Ohh... ohh... hey! Thank's for sharing. 410 00:25:23,940 --> 00:25:25,475 Oh, you're right on time. 411 00:25:25,505 --> 00:25:29,066 Long just called. He's on his way with the powers-to-be. Who are they, Gene? Talk. 412 00:25:29,066 --> 00:25:30,742 Congressman Jim Dodd, head of Ways and Means. 413 00:25:30,742 --> 00:25:33,042 But don't worry, sir, he's definitely not "way mean". 414 00:25:33,142 --> 00:25:35,233 That's speculation. I don't know him personally... 415 00:25:35,233 --> 00:25:36,042 That's too much, Gene. Who else? 416 00:25:36,142 --> 00:25:38,043 Congressman Richard Stamp, head of Commerce, 417 00:25:38,143 --> 00:25:39,643 and Bob Hughes is Transportation. 418 00:25:39,643 --> 00:25:40,943 I have a draft of your support letter. 419 00:25:41,043 --> 00:25:42,943 - Sounds like a plan. - Are you all right? 420 00:25:43,117 --> 00:25:43,777 I'm good. 421 00:25:43,777 --> 00:25:45,921 You sure you're good? Okay. 422 00:25:47,944 --> 00:25:49,336 - Good morning, chief. - Good morning, Rita. 423 00:25:49,336 --> 00:25:50,726 - You okay? - I'm fine. 424 00:25:50,761 --> 00:25:52,518 - You don't look so good. - That's what I said. 425 00:25:52,553 --> 00:25:54,413 You're all jumpy. Are you on that Fen-Phen? 426 00:25:54,413 --> 00:25:56,346 Guys, I'm fine. I'll be inside. 427 00:26:08,636 --> 00:26:11,236 Oh. No, no, no, no. No. 428 00:26:11,935 --> 00:26:16,449 No. Okay. No, no. No. No, no. No. 429 00:26:17,749 --> 00:26:20,642 No, no, no, no, no. Oh, my gosh! 430 00:26:21,262 --> 00:26:26,017 Guys! No, no! Get out! Get out! Oh, my hair! 431 00:26:26,250 --> 00:26:28,451 Gentlemen, welcome. What an honor to have you here. 432 00:26:28,451 --> 00:26:30,851 I'm Marty Stringer. I'm Congressman Baxter's chief of staff. 433 00:26:30,951 --> 00:26:33,051 This is Rita Daniels, his executive assistant. 434 00:26:33,527 --> 00:26:35,052 Are you ready, sir? 435 00:26:35,284 --> 00:26:39,560 Just a minute. No, no, no, no. Dirty, dirty, dirty, diry, dirty! Big one! 436 00:26:39,719 --> 00:26:42,753 Baxter's only a freshman, sir, but I think you'll find he is locked and loaded. 437 00:26:42,853 --> 00:26:45,853 Good. Maybe this young stud can help me get these old mares on board. 438 00:26:45,953 --> 00:26:47,054 Oh, you will be impressed. 439 00:26:51,391 --> 00:26:54,043 Gentlemen. Good to see you. 440 00:26:55,820 --> 00:26:59,838 Do you want to explain yourself, Congressman? What is going on? 441 00:27:00,004 --> 00:27:02,083 Oh. These... 442 00:27:03,654 --> 00:27:05,239 are birds. 443 00:27:05,384 --> 00:27:08,169 What are they doing here? How did they get in here? 444 00:27:08,169 --> 00:27:10,920 Well, that is an excellent question. 445 00:27:10,944 --> 00:27:14,245 And... my response to said question is... 446 00:27:14,348 --> 00:27:16,131 they are trained... 447 00:27:16,991 --> 00:27:19,615 aviaries, sir. 448 00:27:20,159 --> 00:27:23,899 Let me make you... see what I'm talking about. 449 00:27:25,060 --> 00:27:30,672 I can make any sort of movement, and they will not get off! 450 00:27:30,672 --> 00:27:32,866 Do you have a point, Congressman? 451 00:27:32,901 --> 00:27:34,461 Hey, guys, what's the point? 452 00:27:36,961 --> 00:27:37,968 What's my point. 453 00:27:39,562 --> 00:27:40,882 I'll tell you. 454 00:27:41,300 --> 00:27:43,163 The point... is... 455 00:27:45,563 --> 00:27:47,769 that man... 456 00:27:48,628 --> 00:27:52,052 needs to dominate... creatures 457 00:27:52,949 --> 00:27:55,989 and, ultimately, man must... 458 00:27:56,763 --> 00:28:00,568 dictate what happens in this country. 459 00:28:04,066 --> 00:28:05,823 God bless America. 460 00:28:08,580 --> 00:28:09,959 I couldn't agree more. 461 00:28:09,959 --> 00:28:11,681 You have got to be kidding me. 462 00:28:11,716 --> 00:28:12,909 No, of course not. 463 00:28:12,944 --> 00:28:16,702 We lost a huge project last year because of the red-headed woodpecker. 464 00:28:16,737 --> 00:28:18,368 Those environmentalists got so up in arms 465 00:28:18,468 --> 00:28:21,368 over the potential disappearance of one stupid bird... 466 00:28:21,368 --> 00:28:23,187 Yeah, birds are stupid sometimes. 467 00:28:23,187 --> 00:28:25,832 ...we lost over 25 million dollars in business. 468 00:28:25,832 --> 00:28:28,770 I see where you're going with this, Congressman. Good work! 469 00:28:28,870 --> 00:28:32,798 Your little display has obviously hit a chord. Gentlemen. 470 00:28:36,271 --> 00:28:41,672 From now on, let's keep the surprises to a maximum of, say... none. Understood? 471 00:28:41,772 --> 00:28:43,849 Yes, sir. Absolutely, sir. 472 00:28:53,574 --> 00:28:56,983 Evan, that was brilliant. Risky, but brilliant. 473 00:28:59,525 --> 00:29:00,475 What the he...? 474 00:29:00,575 --> 00:29:05,575 I'll tell you one thing, these birds had a nice big meal before they flew in here. 475 00:29:05,675 --> 00:29:07,076 You want me to get my BB gun? 476 00:29:07,176 --> 00:29:09,376 You know what I want you to do? I want you to open the door. 477 00:29:09,376 --> 00:29:10,476 Open the door? 478 00:29:10,476 --> 00:29:11,676 Just open the door! 479 00:29:11,676 --> 00:29:13,977 Close the door after I leave! Just do it! 480 00:29:14,077 --> 00:29:15,077 Okay. 481 00:29:15,177 --> 00:29:18,077 One, two, three! 482 00:29:24,071 --> 00:29:27,889 Man, if I get the bird flu, he is paying for my medical bills! 483 00:29:38,006 --> 00:29:40,079 Sheeeeep! 484 00:29:48,638 --> 00:29:50,672 Oh... no. 485 00:29:56,383 --> 00:29:58,636 Oh, gosh. 486 00:30:00,603 --> 00:30:02,284 Go, go, go, go, go! Get out! 487 00:30:28,188 --> 00:30:29,589 Okay. No. 488 00:30:31,089 --> 00:30:34,389 No. No. 489 00:30:36,190 --> 00:30:38,990 I'm not doing this. It's insane! 490 00:30:40,090 --> 00:30:41,191 No! 491 00:30:42,091 --> 00:30:43,891 Enough already! 492 00:30:44,015 --> 00:30:46,676 See, if you had an ark, you'd have a place to put them all. 493 00:30:46,711 --> 00:30:48,292 Why are you doing this? Why me? 494 00:30:50,492 --> 00:30:53,893 It's not time yet. Go on. Go on. 495 00:30:54,493 --> 00:30:55,793 Yeah, go on. 496 00:30:55,893 --> 00:30:59,093 So how about it? Feel like living on the edge? 497 00:31:08,895 --> 00:31:12,495 Beautiful, isn't it? I remember creating this valley. 498 00:31:13,396 --> 00:31:15,896 Notice how the mountains line up east to west. 499 00:31:15,996 --> 00:31:18,396 That's so there'd be lots of sunshine. 500 00:31:18,396 --> 00:31:19,897 Where are we? 501 00:31:21,397 --> 00:31:23,097 Don't recognize it, eh? 502 00:31:23,297 --> 00:31:24,297 No. 503 00:31:24,697 --> 00:31:28,598 This is where you live, son. This is Prestige Crest. 504 00:31:30,098 --> 00:31:32,399 I wanted you to see the original design. 505 00:31:47,016 --> 00:31:50,601 So, you're... really Him, aren't you? 506 00:31:50,702 --> 00:31:54,102 You want more proof? I haven't done the pillar of salt thing in a while. 507 00:31:54,202 --> 00:31:57,803 That's all right. I believe you. I just... I don't understand why you chose me. 508 00:31:57,903 --> 00:31:59,703 You want to change the world, son. 509 00:32:00,903 --> 00:32:02,303 So do I. 510 00:32:05,704 --> 00:32:09,304 What? Why an ark? I mean, that's like flood territory. 511 00:32:09,404 --> 00:32:13,705 You wouldn't do that again. You wouldn't do that. Would you do that? 512 00:32:13,805 --> 00:32:16,506 Let's just say that whatever I do, 513 00:32:17,306 --> 00:32:19,206 I do because I love you. 514 00:32:19,906 --> 00:32:24,407 Well, then you have to understand that this whole building-an-ark thing 515 00:32:24,507 --> 00:32:25,907 is really not part of my plans here. 516 00:32:26,007 --> 00:32:28,908 I need to settle into my house. I need to make a good impression at work. 517 00:32:30,508 --> 00:32:31,708 What? 518 00:32:32,108 --> 00:32:33,308 Your plans. That's just... 519 00:32:36,409 --> 00:32:37,809 What are you talking... 520 00:32:37,909 --> 00:32:40,409 We're talking about an ark, right? I mean, an ark? 521 00:32:40,409 --> 00:32:43,910 An ark is huge! I don't even know where I would begin! 522 00:32:44,310 --> 00:32:45,810 Well, I hear that a lot. 523 00:32:45,910 --> 00:32:49,511 People want to change the world, don't know how to begin. 524 00:32:53,011 --> 00:32:54,812 You wanna know how to change the world, son? 525 00:32:56,112 --> 00:32:58,712 One act of random kindness at a time. 526 00:33:07,514 --> 00:33:08,814 Build the ark. 527 00:33:08,914 --> 00:33:11,914 I'll tell you what. You build it, I'll fill it. 528 00:33:12,514 --> 00:33:17,415 And if anybody asks, tell them... a flood's coming. 529 00:33:19,115 --> 00:33:22,016 Oh, and, uh, you might need this. 530 00:33:25,817 --> 00:33:29,817 Well, okay. Okay, so what do I do? I grab the wood and... 531 00:33:29,917 --> 00:33:31,417 Well, okay. 532 00:33:31,517 --> 00:33:34,818 You know, that's... just... cruel. 533 00:33:36,418 --> 00:33:37,918 Do you see him? 534 00:33:39,119 --> 00:33:40,519 I don't see him. 535 00:33:41,319 --> 00:33:45,020 "Building an Ark the Old-Fashioned Way." 536 00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:50,620 "God is the creator of the Heavens and the Earth. 537 00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:55,621 "He lives in all things and has over six billion seven hundred million children." 538 00:34:17,625 --> 00:34:20,325 Honey? You okay? You need something? 539 00:34:22,325 --> 00:34:25,626 No, nothing. Just... dropped something. 540 00:35:01,832 --> 00:35:03,332 Okay. Okay. 541 00:35:10,333 --> 00:35:11,733 Yeah. 542 00:35:11,833 --> 00:35:14,834 There we go. Okay. 543 00:35:21,835 --> 00:35:25,335 Come on. I mean, a beard? A beard's so dirty. 544 00:35:27,236 --> 00:35:28,236 Gross! 545 00:35:28,336 --> 00:35:30,536 Packing, so it would really help me out if you would... 546 00:35:30,536 --> 00:35:31,636 Good morning. 547 00:35:34,137 --> 00:35:35,237 Wow. 548 00:35:35,637 --> 00:35:37,837 What's with the scruffle, mountain man? 549 00:35:37,937 --> 00:35:43,238 Oh, well, you know, I figured... it was a weekend, and... I thought... 550 00:35:43,338 --> 00:35:44,438 What? 551 00:35:46,939 --> 00:35:50,239 Honey, did I miss something? How long have you been growing that? 552 00:35:51,439 --> 00:35:52,540 I'll get the door! 553 00:35:53,740 --> 00:35:55,240 Congratulations! 554 00:35:55,340 --> 00:35:56,640 What are you talking about? 555 00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:59,541 The lots. You bought the lots next door! 556 00:35:59,641 --> 00:36:01,541 Hello! 557 00:36:02,541 --> 00:36:03,541 Oh... 558 00:36:07,442 --> 00:36:12,043 And pulling the down payment out of your home equity? Very gutsy move. 559 00:36:12,143 --> 00:36:14,343 I didn't do that, did I? 560 00:36:14,543 --> 00:36:16,944 You sure did. So what's your plan? What are you gonna do? 561 00:36:16,944 --> 00:36:19,144 Turn them for a quick profit? Build them out on spec? 562 00:36:21,044 --> 00:36:24,745 Who wants champagne? Hip, hip hooray! 563 00:36:27,945 --> 00:36:29,345 You bought eight lots? 564 00:36:29,445 --> 00:36:31,846 Yup. I was, uh, going to surprise you. 565 00:36:33,146 --> 00:36:36,547 "Surprise, surprise, surprise." Gomer Pyle. 566 00:36:38,547 --> 00:36:41,147 What are you doing? We can't afford that. 567 00:36:41,147 --> 00:36:43,548 Hey, mom. John Lennon, good to see you again. 568 00:36:43,648 --> 00:36:45,248 Good to see you. 569 00:36:46,548 --> 00:36:50,149 And eight lots? What are you gonna do with eight lots? 570 00:36:50,949 --> 00:36:53,849 I don't know. Maybe I'll build a boat. 571 00:36:53,949 --> 00:36:55,750 Did you say "build a boat"? 572 00:36:55,850 --> 00:36:57,650 It might be something fun for the family. 573 00:36:57,750 --> 00:37:00,950 We could, uh, take the boat, go sailing on the lake. 574 00:37:01,951 --> 00:37:03,951 It'd be great in case it floods or something. 575 00:37:04,229 --> 00:37:06,051 What is going on with you? 576 00:37:06,551 --> 00:37:10,252 You bought all those lots and you're talking about building a boat. 577 00:37:10,352 --> 00:37:12,252 - Yeah. - And you grow this crazy beard! 578 00:37:12,252 --> 00:37:13,853 Is this, like, a midlife crisis? 579 00:37:13,953 --> 00:37:15,253 It's not that bad! 580 00:37:15,353 --> 00:37:16,353 - It's not? - No. 581 00:37:16,453 --> 00:37:18,253 Why do you think they call it a crisis? 582 00:37:19,653 --> 00:37:21,554 Hey, keep it down, you guys! Okay? 583 00:37:23,354 --> 00:37:24,754 Oh, my God. 584 00:37:24,854 --> 00:37:26,154 Honey? 585 00:37:26,254 --> 00:37:27,555 Oh, my God. 586 00:37:28,955 --> 00:37:29,955 Honey? 587 00:37:32,055 --> 00:37:34,056 I know this sounds crazy. 588 00:37:35,156 --> 00:37:37,556 I really think I need to do this. 589 00:37:41,157 --> 00:37:42,357 Okay. 590 00:37:43,157 --> 00:37:44,757 Build your boat. 591 00:37:45,858 --> 00:37:48,258 Just don't take too long, okay? 592 00:37:48,358 --> 00:37:53,559 Because we didn't leave our lives in Buffalo so you could... sail the S.S. Depression. 593 00:38:13,062 --> 00:38:14,262 Here we go. 594 00:38:14,462 --> 00:38:17,963 Gentlemen, I'm sure you're all wondering why I've assembled you here today. 595 00:38:18,063 --> 00:38:20,863 An Argentine lake duck has a penis as long as its body. 596 00:38:20,863 --> 00:38:22,863 Wow, that's huge. He must be proud. 597 00:38:22,963 --> 00:38:27,164 So, I have come up with a little construction project for us this weekend. 598 00:38:27,545 --> 00:38:28,364 The whole weekend? 599 00:38:28,464 --> 00:38:29,865 The whole weekend. Yes! 600 00:38:30,065 --> 00:38:31,765 Maybe a couple weekends after that. 601 00:38:31,865 --> 00:38:34,065 I can do this. Help! 602 00:38:35,365 --> 00:38:38,266 How do I stand up with a piece of wood? Here we go. 603 00:38:39,766 --> 00:38:41,466 Oh, man. Okay, that's good. 604 00:38:43,067 --> 00:38:46,767 Mooooother! Father! Sister! Brother! Wow! 605 00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:48,467 Keep it straight. 606 00:38:51,868 --> 00:38:53,568 Hey, dad... He's back! 607 00:38:53,868 --> 00:38:55,369 Ryan, no, don't do... 608 00:38:55,469 --> 00:38:56,469 Ow! 609 00:38:57,369 --> 00:39:00,369 Leverage it up! Leverage. Okay. 610 00:39:00,369 --> 00:39:01,970 Just put some leverage. You gotta put some body weight. 611 00:39:02,070 --> 00:39:04,070 Ready? One, two, three. Come on. 612 00:39:08,171 --> 00:39:09,771 Oh, I'm an idiot. 613 00:39:09,771 --> 00:39:13,271 "Nice to meet you, Mr. Congressman. Why do you have raw beef hands?" 614 00:39:13,271 --> 00:39:15,372 "Well, I'm building an ark." 615 00:39:17,872 --> 00:39:21,173 I got a boo-boo! I got a boo-boo! I got a boo-boo! 616 00:39:26,974 --> 00:39:31,874 You ever hear of Home Depot? Here we go! Here we go! Oh, yeah! 617 00:39:42,076 --> 00:39:46,077 All right. So our little Marlboro Man moment didn't work out so well. 618 00:39:46,177 --> 00:39:49,077 It's a disaster. I don't know how to build something like this. 619 00:39:49,077 --> 00:39:50,777 That's easy. Just don't. 620 00:39:55,178 --> 00:39:56,178 Wow. 621 00:39:57,848 --> 00:39:58,915 Hello. 622 00:39:59,179 --> 00:40:02,279 Yes, Marty. Your fearless leader is right here. 623 00:40:03,479 --> 00:40:04,579 Hey, Marty, what's up? 624 00:40:14,081 --> 00:40:16,681 Yes, I'll tell him. Thank you. 625 00:40:19,882 --> 00:40:22,282 I might need security. Thank you. 626 00:40:24,883 --> 00:40:26,183 Can I help you? 627 00:40:26,483 --> 00:40:27,583 Rita, it's me. 628 00:40:27,983 --> 00:40:31,584 Why do you sound like Evan Baxter, but look like a Bee Gee? 629 00:40:31,584 --> 00:40:33,084 Okay. All right. 630 00:40:33,584 --> 00:40:36,484 Okay, that's great. It's longer. 631 00:40:36,484 --> 00:40:39,385 Oh, my God. It is you. 632 00:40:39,985 --> 00:40:42,085 Evan, what happened? 633 00:40:42,185 --> 00:40:43,286 Did you fall in a mine shaft? 634 00:40:43,386 --> 00:40:44,386 No. 635 00:40:44,486 --> 00:40:45,486 Did you just come out of a coma? 636 00:40:45,586 --> 00:40:46,586 No. 637 00:40:46,686 --> 00:40:48,886 Were you attacked by a werewolf? 638 00:40:48,886 --> 00:40:50,187 No, I wasn't. 639 00:40:50,287 --> 00:40:53,187 Well, if you were going for that rugged look, you overshot it. 640 00:40:53,187 --> 00:40:54,787 You look like a bum in a suit. 641 00:40:54,887 --> 00:40:56,988 You need Super cuts and a shave. 642 00:40:58,488 --> 00:41:00,588 Right! Yeah. But I can't. It doesn't work. 643 00:41:00,688 --> 00:41:02,289 What do you mean, it doesn't work? 644 00:41:02,389 --> 00:41:03,689 It doesn't work! 645 00:41:03,789 --> 00:41:05,489 What? Are you shooting up Rogaine? 646 00:41:05,489 --> 00:41:08,990 Rita, if Evan shows up... I'm sorry, sir. I'll be with you in just one mo... 647 00:41:09,990 --> 00:41:11,790 Evan? - Take it in. Take it in. 648 00:41:11,890 --> 00:41:13,590 Okay, yeah, to answer any questions you may have, 649 00:41:13,690 --> 00:41:15,791 I am going through adult puberty! 650 00:41:15,891 --> 00:41:18,291 This is all temporary. Why did you bring me down here? 651 00:41:18,391 --> 00:41:19,491 What was so important? 652 00:41:19,591 --> 00:41:21,292 What is so important? 653 00:41:21,392 --> 00:41:24,092 I got a letter of intent here about Congressman Long's bill. 654 00:41:24,092 --> 00:41:25,192 You remember that, don't you? 655 00:41:25,292 --> 00:41:28,393 Well, you haven't been here and now he wants you to sign this in person, Evan! 656 00:41:28,393 --> 00:41:30,693 No, I can't do that. Nope, nope, nope. Not gonna happen. 657 00:41:30,793 --> 00:41:33,594 No. You can't do that. Not looking like that. You have to go shave! 658 00:41:33,694 --> 00:41:35,994 I can't shave, Marty. When I shave, it grows back out. 659 00:41:36,094 --> 00:41:38,994 That happens when you shave! But then you shave again! 660 00:41:39,094 --> 00:41:40,595 You have no idea. 661 00:41:40,595 --> 00:41:43,595 Evan, what is going on? 662 00:41:43,695 --> 00:41:44,895 I'm... 663 00:41:49,396 --> 00:41:51,196 building something. 664 00:41:52,697 --> 00:41:54,397 You're building something? 665 00:41:54,497 --> 00:41:56,197 Well, I hope it's a barber shop. 666 00:41:56,297 --> 00:41:59,198 Guys, I can't let Long see me this way, okay? 667 00:41:59,198 --> 00:42:02,398 You're gonna have to tell him I'm sick. Just cover for me. Just help me out! 668 00:42:05,599 --> 00:42:08,599 Come on, Evan, be reasonable. You gotta get rid of that beard. 669 00:42:08,699 --> 00:42:10,599 I need your face back. I need you back. 670 00:42:10,599 --> 00:42:12,300 Can you at least tell me what you're building? 671 00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:14,500 - I'm building a boat. - You're building a boat? 672 00:42:14,500 --> 00:42:17,200 Look, you gotta cover for me. I don't want anybody to see... 673 00:42:17,300 --> 00:42:19,501 Congressman! There you are! 674 00:42:19,601 --> 00:42:21,601 Congressman Long, I, I, I, I... 675 00:42:21,601 --> 00:42:24,602 Stop stammering, son. We all play hooky from time to time. 676 00:42:24,702 --> 00:42:28,502 I'm not gonna turn you in to the principal. Mostly because I am the principal. 677 00:42:29,902 --> 00:42:31,003 Very good. 678 00:42:31,003 --> 00:42:33,503 What's with the veil? Did you get your new set of braces? 679 00:42:33,503 --> 00:42:37,004 No. No, no. I... That's, uh, hilarious, though. 680 00:42:37,104 --> 00:42:39,904 Would you drop that thing, son? I can't understand a word you're saying. 681 00:42:49,205 --> 00:42:51,106 It's a wife thing, sir. 682 00:42:51,206 --> 00:42:52,906 Just trying to spice up the love life. 683 00:42:53,906 --> 00:42:56,307 She's a big Loggins and Messina fan. 684 00:42:56,307 --> 00:42:58,707 Keeping it fresh. Keeping it real. 685 00:42:58,707 --> 00:43:01,407 Would you excuse us for a moment? 686 00:43:01,507 --> 00:43:03,908 The Congressman and I are going to have a little chat. 687 00:43:07,908 --> 00:43:09,009 Come on. 688 00:43:09,109 --> 00:43:11,309 Nice, isn't it? Politics is dog-eat-dog, 689 00:43:11,409 --> 00:43:14,009 but if you survive, they give you a bigger den. Have a seat. 690 00:43:14,109 --> 00:43:18,110 So, tell me, Congressman, are you freaking out on me or what? 691 00:43:18,210 --> 00:43:19,210 No, sir. 692 00:43:19,210 --> 00:43:22,511 Oh, come on, son. I hand you your first cosponsor ship of a bill, 693 00:43:22,611 --> 00:43:24,911 and when you finally show up you look like the fifth Beatle. 694 00:43:25,011 --> 00:43:27,311 Now, you expect me to believe everything is hunky dory? 695 00:43:27,411 --> 00:43:30,212 Well, sir, actually, things have been a little more dory. 696 00:43:30,312 --> 00:43:34,413 Of course they are. I get it. You know anything about animals, son? 697 00:43:35,613 --> 00:43:38,613 The Argentine lake duck has a penis as long as its body. 698 00:43:40,714 --> 00:43:44,614 Although you probably already know that. Or have heard it. Not experienced it. 699 00:43:44,614 --> 00:43:46,815 You ever heard of the Arctic white wolf? 700 00:43:46,815 --> 00:43:47,915 No, sir. 701 00:43:47,915 --> 00:43:49,015 Top of the food chain. 702 00:43:49,115 --> 00:43:51,815 It's fast, it's smart, can fend for itself, but it chooses not to. 703 00:43:51,915 --> 00:43:53,416 It chooses to run with a pack. 704 00:43:53,516 --> 00:43:54,616 And do you know why? 705 00:43:54,616 --> 00:43:55,616 No. 706 00:43:55,716 --> 00:43:58,216 The Arctic white wolf, Congressman, realizes 707 00:43:58,316 --> 00:44:00,017 that it is stronger as part of a group. 708 00:44:00,117 --> 00:44:03,117 Do you know what happens when one of these wolves decides to fend for itself? 709 00:44:03,117 --> 00:44:05,918 The pack kills the loner for the greater good of the community. 710 00:44:06,018 --> 00:44:07,718 Ouch, that hurts. 711 00:44:07,718 --> 00:44:11,018 Are you familiar with Jim Jenkins, the junior congressman from Tennessee? 712 00:44:11,118 --> 00:44:14,519 When I met Congressman Jenkins, he was fresh off the turnip truck, 713 00:44:14,619 --> 00:44:16,719 but now he's sitting on his own committee. 714 00:44:16,819 --> 00:44:19,920 Congressman Jenkins, Congressman Whitehall, Congressman Freeman, 715 00:44:20,020 --> 00:44:23,720 they all have committee chairs because they all run with the pack. 716 00:44:23,820 --> 00:44:25,921 Now, you have to come to a decision. 717 00:44:26,021 --> 00:44:28,221 Are you gonna run with the pack or are you gonna lone wolf it? 718 00:44:28,321 --> 00:44:30,421 I... am a pack man, sir. 719 00:44:30,521 --> 00:44:34,622 Good. I'm introducing the CINPLAN bill in 2 weeks. C-SPAN is covering it live. 720 00:44:34,722 --> 00:44:36,822 I want your full support and nothing else. 721 00:44:36,922 --> 00:44:38,023 Yes, sir. 722 00:44:39,023 --> 00:44:41,223 Those fish are on you like bait on a hook. 723 00:44:43,223 --> 00:44:44,824 Birds follow you. 724 00:44:45,724 --> 00:44:47,424 Fish follow you. 725 00:44:51,125 --> 00:44:54,325 Let's see if we can get some congressmen to follow you. 726 00:44:54,325 --> 00:44:56,426 Let's get this bill passed, shall we, Congressman? 727 00:44:56,526 --> 00:44:57,626 Yes, sir. 728 00:44:59,826 --> 00:45:01,426 Hey, fleabag, out of the way. 729 00:45:01,526 --> 00:45:03,527 Hey, dad, I think there are more animals than yesterday. 730 00:45:03,527 --> 00:45:05,727 Well, let's not keep our audience waiting, shall we? 731 00:45:08,827 --> 00:45:13,128 Up, up. Push it up. Push it. We got it. We got it. Oh, yeah, yeah. 732 00:45:13,928 --> 00:45:16,629 Come on. Just let it go, just let it go. 733 00:45:20,129 --> 00:45:22,530 Dad, we can do this, but we're gonna need some help. 734 00:45:22,630 --> 00:45:25,830 I know. We just need something to lift those beams. 735 00:45:28,131 --> 00:45:29,631 Like that? 736 00:45:29,731 --> 00:45:31,331 Holy moly! 737 00:45:32,531 --> 00:45:35,032 This is so totally awesome! 738 00:45:35,032 --> 00:45:36,632 This is perfect. 739 00:45:36,632 --> 00:45:38,132 Dad, there's a note. 740 00:45:44,433 --> 00:45:46,033 Let me see that. 741 00:45:48,634 --> 00:45:50,234 How does it work? 742 00:45:57,835 --> 00:45:59,736 Dad, this is really weird. 743 00:45:59,736 --> 00:46:02,036 Repeat after me. "We are hamsters!" 744 00:46:02,136 --> 00:46:03,736 We are hamsters! 745 00:46:03,836 --> 00:46:05,436 Leg power! 746 00:46:05,536 --> 00:46:07,037 Leg power! 747 00:46:07,837 --> 00:46:08,837 And it's in! 748 00:46:09,937 --> 00:46:11,037 That's it. 749 00:46:13,238 --> 00:46:16,238 Hey, who has opposable thumbs? Anybody? 750 00:46:20,939 --> 00:46:24,039 You wanna try this one? Make sure it's straight. 751 00:46:24,139 --> 00:46:25,740 - This is awesome! - This is so cool. 752 00:46:25,740 --> 00:46:27,740 - Here we go. - Oh, my God! 753 00:46:28,140 --> 00:46:31,441 Yeah. Gotta do the dance. Come on, let's do the dance. 754 00:46:32,741 --> 00:46:34,641 We're doing the dance. - Dylan, come on. Do the dance. 755 00:46:34,641 --> 00:46:36,441 - Come on, do the dance. - I'm not doing the dance. 756 00:46:39,042 --> 00:46:40,042 Ow! 757 00:46:41,542 --> 00:46:42,642 Don't scratch! 758 00:46:42,742 --> 00:46:43,742 Stop it. Come here. 759 00:46:43,842 --> 00:46:47,343 Insult to injury! My! 760 00:46:47,443 --> 00:46:48,443 Good boy. 761 00:46:48,543 --> 00:46:49,543 Okay, guys. A little bit more. 762 00:46:49,643 --> 00:46:52,544 Here we go. I got it. Keep it... That's it! 763 00:46:53,644 --> 00:46:54,844 Beautiful! 764 00:46:59,945 --> 00:47:01,045 You guys all right? 765 00:47:01,145 --> 00:47:02,345 Yup. 766 00:47:19,948 --> 00:47:20,948 "G." 767 00:47:35,251 --> 00:47:37,751 Mmm, mmm, mmm. 768 00:47:40,251 --> 00:47:43,252 Well, I hope this isn't our last supper. 769 00:47:45,952 --> 00:47:48,153 ... so this dry, hot weather will continue. 770 00:47:48,153 --> 00:47:51,153 Until September 22, midday. 771 00:47:51,253 --> 00:47:54,354 If the ark isn't finished by then, you will be. 772 00:47:54,754 --> 00:47:58,054 Is that when it's going to happen? September 22, midday? 773 00:47:58,154 --> 00:48:00,455 High temperatures tomorrow back into the 90s everywhere, 774 00:48:00,555 --> 00:48:01,755 right on through Tuesday 775 00:48:01,755 --> 00:48:05,255 and the next seven days, no showers, no storms. 776 00:48:05,355 --> 00:48:09,556 That would be a good day to have chicken. How about mom's chicken? Huh? 777 00:48:09,656 --> 00:48:12,056 Hon, could we have some more chicken September 22, midday? 778 00:48:13,957 --> 00:48:17,357 Boys, will you excuse us, please? Your father and I need to have a little talk. 779 00:48:17,457 --> 00:48:18,957 Busted. 780 00:48:19,058 --> 00:48:20,258 Dad, you're busted. 781 00:48:20,258 --> 00:48:21,458 Yeah, I know. 782 00:48:23,358 --> 00:48:24,758 What are you doing? 783 00:48:24,858 --> 00:48:26,059 Do we have anything unleavened? 784 00:48:26,159 --> 00:48:29,659 Yeah, we do, it's in the back, next to the frankincense and myrrh. 785 00:48:29,759 --> 00:48:32,960 We have a fancy name for it in this century, it's called pita. 786 00:48:33,460 --> 00:48:34,860 Got it. 787 00:48:34,860 --> 00:48:36,860 Evan, what is happening to you? 788 00:48:37,860 --> 00:48:41,261 Don't! No! Just put it down! Look at you. 789 00:48:41,261 --> 00:48:46,662 The hair. Are you on something? Is it a mega-growth hormone? What? 790 00:48:48,262 --> 00:48:49,962 Evan, talk to me. 791 00:48:58,364 --> 00:49:00,164 I'm building an ark. 792 00:49:01,964 --> 00:49:03,765 What does that mean? 793 00:49:05,165 --> 00:49:09,165 God appeared to me and told me to build an ark. 794 00:49:09,265 --> 00:49:13,166 He said there was going to be a flood and that I should be prepared. 795 00:49:13,266 --> 00:49:15,766 Whenever I shave, my beard grows right back out. 796 00:49:15,766 --> 00:49:20,867 My hair grows longer every day. This robe... God sent me the robe. 797 00:49:20,867 --> 00:49:22,267 He thought it would be funny. 798 00:49:23,268 --> 00:49:28,068 I actually think it's really comfortable. That's why I'm wearing it. 799 00:49:29,769 --> 00:49:32,269 The beard, the robe. 800 00:49:33,369 --> 00:49:34,869 You're Noah? 801 00:49:36,370 --> 00:49:37,970 Yeah, kind of. 802 00:49:38,070 --> 00:49:39,070 Mom! 803 00:49:39,170 --> 00:49:40,470 Not now, Noah! 804 00:49:42,171 --> 00:49:43,271 Dylan. 805 00:49:43,271 --> 00:49:44,371 Okay. 806 00:49:47,872 --> 00:49:51,372 We left everything behind to come here. 807 00:49:51,472 --> 00:49:55,173 Maybe that's put too much pressure on you. I don't know. 808 00:49:55,273 --> 00:49:59,773 But this has got to stop. Please. You're scaring me. 809 00:49:59,873 --> 00:50:04,474 The boys need their father back, and I need my husband back. 810 00:50:21,777 --> 00:50:24,677 Yes. Successful. Powerful. Handsome. Happy. 811 00:50:24,777 --> 00:50:27,578 Successful. Powerful. Handsome. Happy. 812 00:50:37,179 --> 00:50:38,680 Good morning! 813 00:50:43,580 --> 00:50:44,580 Cold today, huh? 814 00:50:44,981 --> 00:50:45,981 Hmm? 815 00:50:56,582 --> 00:50:57,883 "Back to work"? 816 00:51:01,383 --> 00:51:07,084 Okay. All right. You want me to wear the robe? I'll wear the robe. 817 00:51:08,084 --> 00:51:11,385 Two can play this game. 818 00:51:19,186 --> 00:51:20,386 Ha, ha, ha! 819 00:51:22,086 --> 00:51:24,087 Piece de resistance. 820 00:51:25,987 --> 00:51:28,087 The student has become the teacher. 821 00:51:32,888 --> 00:51:34,388 This meeting will come to order. 822 00:51:34,488 --> 00:51:35,689 Rita, any sign of him? 823 00:51:35,789 --> 00:51:38,089 Marty, I told you, I will let you know as soon... 824 00:51:38,189 --> 00:51:41,489 Okay, you know what? You got me. He's here. We're in the middle of a yoga class. 825 00:51:41,489 --> 00:51:43,390 Rita, this is no time for jokes. I'm not kidding. 826 00:51:43,490 --> 00:51:45,790 If he's not in that meeting, we're all out of a job. 827 00:51:45,890 --> 00:51:48,090 Wait a minute. Let me finish my sun salutation. 828 00:51:53,491 --> 00:51:55,792 Marty! Sorry I'm late. Come on, let's go. 829 00:51:56,792 --> 00:51:58,992 What is that? 830 00:51:59,092 --> 00:52:02,693 Making lemonade out of lemons. Pick up your phone! Come on! 831 00:52:02,793 --> 00:52:06,093 At its heart, this bill gives private citizens access 832 00:52:06,193 --> 00:52:08,194 to lands they technically already own. 833 00:52:08,294 --> 00:52:09,894 Will the Chairman yield? 834 00:52:09,994 --> 00:52:10,994 Oh, look, there he is. 835 00:52:11,094 --> 00:52:12,294 Yup, yup, I see him. 836 00:52:12,294 --> 00:52:16,295 Access is just a word you're using to hide what's really going on here. 837 00:52:16,295 --> 00:52:18,895 This is about development, short and simple. 838 00:52:18,995 --> 00:52:24,096 Evan, what are you doing? You have a pony tail on your face! 839 00:52:24,196 --> 00:52:26,597 What you gonna do next? Cornrow your eyebrows? 840 00:52:26,597 --> 00:52:29,297 Development means the advancement of jobs, 841 00:52:29,397 --> 00:52:32,998 an increase in domestic commerce. If you happen to like those things, 842 00:52:33,098 --> 00:52:37,398 I invite you to join myself and my cosponsors, Congressman Dodd, 843 00:52:39,599 --> 00:52:41,599 Congressman Hughes... 844 00:52:42,899 --> 00:52:44,599 and Congressman Baxter. 845 00:53:05,903 --> 00:53:07,903 Did you just do a wardrobe change? 846 00:53:08,003 --> 00:53:11,004 What do you think this is, the Oscars? You are not Whoopi. 847 00:53:12,204 --> 00:53:14,604 Ladies and gentlemen! Please! 848 00:53:15,804 --> 00:53:19,805 Please! Congressman Baxter has a tendency to embrace the theatrical 849 00:53:19,905 --> 00:53:22,605 in his support of this bill. Congressman, let me warn you, 850 00:53:22,605 --> 00:53:26,206 you are approximately 10 seconds away from committee censure. 851 00:53:26,306 --> 00:53:29,507 Oh, no. Hey, would anyone mind if I close the window? 852 00:53:59,011 --> 00:54:02,812 Ladies and gentlemen! Please! These animals are trained! 853 00:54:03,312 --> 00:54:05,112 I've seen this circus act before! 854 00:54:05,112 --> 00:54:08,113 Congressman, I'm sure St. Francis would be... envious. 855 00:54:08,213 --> 00:54:11,813 We, however, are not. You have five seconds. 856 00:54:11,813 --> 00:54:14,714 You march yourself and your little animal troupe out of here now 857 00:54:14,714 --> 00:54:16,614 or you will be forcibly removed. 858 00:54:16,714 --> 00:54:18,614 I'm afraid I can't do that, sir. 859 00:54:18,714 --> 00:54:20,114 Congressman! 860 00:54:20,215 --> 00:54:22,415 These animals... are not trained. 861 00:54:22,515 --> 00:54:23,815 Congressman! 862 00:54:24,715 --> 00:54:26,215 I think they want me to save them! 863 00:54:26,215 --> 00:54:28,816 Save them... from what, Congressman? 864 00:54:29,016 --> 00:54:32,316 Saving the animals, okay. I can roll with that. That's a good idea. 865 00:54:40,118 --> 00:54:41,118 The flood. 866 00:54:41,518 --> 00:54:44,018 A flood? Rolling out. 867 00:54:44,518 --> 00:54:45,819 The flood. 868 00:54:45,919 --> 00:54:48,019 This has been the hottest, driest summer on record 869 00:54:48,119 --> 00:54:49,819 and you say we're gonna have a flood? 870 00:54:49,819 --> 00:54:51,119 When might we expect this? 871 00:54:51,219 --> 00:54:53,320 September 22, midday. 872 00:54:57,220 --> 00:54:58,721 That's what I was told. 873 00:54:58,821 --> 00:55:00,821 Might I ask who told you? 874 00:55:07,722 --> 00:55:11,523 Not in front of all those people. Don't say it. Don't say it. 875 00:55:16,623 --> 00:55:17,924 God. 876 00:55:22,724 --> 00:55:25,525 God? You talk to God? 877 00:55:26,225 --> 00:55:27,425 Yes. 878 00:55:27,525 --> 00:55:28,725 And God is talking back? 879 00:55:30,326 --> 00:55:32,526 Yeah. We hung out a little. 880 00:55:32,626 --> 00:55:34,926 Well, time to update the resume. 881 00:55:34,926 --> 00:55:37,327 Congressman, your name is being removed from this bill. 882 00:55:37,427 --> 00:55:40,927 Obviously, the stresses of this office have proven too much for you. 883 00:55:40,927 --> 00:55:42,327 Please have the congressman removed. 884 00:55:42,427 --> 00:55:44,228 No. Please! You don't understand! 885 00:55:44,328 --> 00:55:47,128 God commanded me to build an ark! 886 00:55:47,228 --> 00:55:49,829 It's going to rain! There's going to be a flood! 887 00:55:51,229 --> 00:55:52,729 Remove him now! 888 00:55:52,829 --> 00:55:55,230 We have to prepare ourselves! 889 00:55:55,330 --> 00:55:58,030 I need to finish the ark! 890 00:55:59,230 --> 00:56:00,830 Remove him now! 891 00:56:07,831 --> 00:56:09,732 Does this mean we're moving back home? 892 00:56:10,732 --> 00:56:13,432 Home, Canada. One or the other. 893 00:56:23,934 --> 00:56:28,835 Joan? I know you probably saw what happened, but I can explain. 894 00:56:33,135 --> 00:56:35,736 Take the stuff to the car, guys. I'll be there in a minute. 895 00:56:38,736 --> 00:56:39,837 Guys? 896 00:56:43,437 --> 00:56:48,538 I'm gonna take them to my mother's. Evan, I... think you need help. 897 00:56:49,138 --> 00:56:53,939 Joan, please. I'm not doing this. It's not me. It's Him. 898 00:56:53,939 --> 00:56:57,339 I went to that meeting in a suit, and he took it off of me. 899 00:56:57,339 --> 00:57:01,140 Those animals... are following me because of Him. 900 00:57:01,240 --> 00:57:04,840 God? Does God know he's destroying our lives? 901 00:57:04,941 --> 00:57:07,441 Does... God know he's gonna get you fired? 902 00:57:07,541 --> 00:57:09,341 Yeah! He's trying to get me fired! 903 00:57:10,141 --> 00:57:13,242 He is trying to get me fired! 904 00:57:13,342 --> 00:57:15,542 That way I'll have more time to work on the ark! 905 00:57:15,542 --> 00:57:18,043 Because the rain and the floods are coming. 906 00:57:18,143 --> 00:57:21,643 No, I heard you, Evan. The whole world heard you. 907 00:57:21,643 --> 00:57:24,344 Joan, please, you gotta believe me. 908 00:57:26,744 --> 00:57:31,545 There it is! It's happening! It's happening! It's raining! 909 00:57:49,047 --> 00:57:50,248 Goodbye, Evan. 910 00:57:53,948 --> 00:57:55,048 Joan! 911 00:58:03,850 --> 00:58:08,351 I know! I know. Whatever you do, you do because you love me! 912 00:58:16,152 --> 00:58:18,952 Do me a favor. Love me less. 913 00:58:20,352 --> 00:58:21,453 Congressman! 914 00:58:21,453 --> 00:58:24,453 Are you concerned at all about Congressman Baxter's tirade 915 00:58:24,553 --> 00:58:26,153 and the adverse effects it may have on your bill? 916 00:58:26,253 --> 00:58:30,054 The day it rains and floods and Congressman Baxter takes a ride on his ark, 917 00:58:30,154 --> 00:58:32,154 that'll be the day I'll be concerned. Thank you. 918 00:58:37,255 --> 00:58:41,556 His name is Evan Baxter, but now he goes by "New York's Noah", 919 00:58:41,656 --> 00:58:45,356 "Heaven's Evan", "The Weirdo with a Beardo". 920 00:58:50,257 --> 00:58:53,958 Okay, guys. Watch it. Watch it. Coming through. Watch your back. 921 00:58:55,558 --> 00:58:59,259 Marty, will you comment on Congressman Baxter's change of appearance? 922 00:58:59,559 --> 00:59:03,459 Yes, his hair is long. Yes, his beard is unshaven. 923 00:59:03,559 --> 00:59:05,760 Are you equally stunned by this man's appearance? 924 00:59:12,161 --> 00:59:13,361 The way things go around here, 925 00:59:13,361 --> 00:59:16,161 if he gets any crazier, we may end up in the White House. 926 00:59:22,462 --> 00:59:25,163 Hey! No, no, no, no, no! That's my cup! 927 00:59:26,763 --> 00:59:28,063 Whatever. 928 00:59:48,866 --> 00:59:52,367 He's filling the boat with two of every kind of animal. 929 00:59:52,467 --> 00:59:55,867 Still to be collected, two giraffes, two elephants... 930 00:59:56,868 --> 00:59:58,468 and one more jackass. 931 01:00:01,768 --> 01:00:02,869 What an idiot. 932 01:00:02,869 --> 01:00:04,369 He's a mook. 933 01:00:04,469 --> 01:00:05,669 Jerks. 934 01:00:06,669 --> 01:00:09,270 Don't worry about it, you guys. Come on, eat up. 935 01:00:09,370 --> 01:00:10,370 Not hungry. 936 01:00:10,470 --> 01:00:11,570 Yeah, me neither. 937 01:00:11,670 --> 01:00:13,970 You guys can't eat. I can't stop. 938 01:00:14,070 --> 01:00:15,971 - Can I go to the bathroom? - Me, too. 939 01:00:16,071 --> 01:00:18,671 Okay. Dylan, go with them. Please? 940 01:00:18,771 --> 01:00:19,971 Fine. 941 01:00:22,132 --> 01:00:24,672 Oh, excuse me. Can I get a refill, please? 942 01:00:25,372 --> 01:00:26,472 Coming right up. 943 01:00:27,372 --> 01:00:28,373 Thank you. 944 01:00:28,473 --> 01:00:30,173 Excuse me. Are you all right? 945 01:00:31,073 --> 01:00:32,073 Yeah. 946 01:00:33,873 --> 01:00:36,174 No. It's a long story. 947 01:00:36,274 --> 01:00:37,374 Well, I like stories. 948 01:00:38,174 --> 01:00:41,175 I'm considered a bit of a storyteller myself. 949 01:00:42,275 --> 01:00:44,875 My husband... Have you heard of "New York's Noah"? 950 01:00:46,976 --> 01:00:48,676 The guy who's building the ark. 951 01:00:48,776 --> 01:00:50,076 That's him. 952 01:00:50,176 --> 01:00:53,277 I love that story, Noah and the Ark. 953 01:00:53,377 --> 01:00:54,977 You know, a lot of people miss the point of that story. 954 01:00:55,077 --> 01:00:57,077 They think it's about God's wrath and anger. 955 01:00:57,977 --> 01:00:59,778 They love it when God gets angry. 956 01:00:59,778 --> 01:01:02,278 What is the story about, then? The ark? 957 01:01:02,378 --> 01:01:07,779 Well, I think it's a love story about believing in each other. 958 01:01:07,779 --> 01:01:13,480 You know, the animals showed up in pairs. They stood by each other, side by side, 959 01:01:13,580 --> 01:01:17,880 just like Noah and his family. Everybody entered the ark side by side. 960 01:01:18,981 --> 01:01:21,881 But my husband says God told him to do it. 961 01:01:23,681 --> 01:01:25,282 What do you do with that? 962 01:01:25,382 --> 01:01:27,182 Sounds like an opportunity. 963 01:01:30,182 --> 01:01:31,483 Let me ask you something. 964 01:01:32,483 --> 01:01:35,683 If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? 965 01:01:36,283 --> 01:01:39,584 Or does he give them... the opportunity to be patient? 966 01:01:41,284 --> 01:01:43,384 If they pray for courage, does God give them courage, 967 01:01:43,384 --> 01:01:46,085 or does he give them opportunities to be courageous? 968 01:01:48,285 --> 01:01:50,686 If someone prayed for their family to be closer, 969 01:01:51,886 --> 01:01:54,786 you think God zaps them with warm, fuzzy feelings? 970 01:01:55,686 --> 01:01:58,087 Or does he give them opportunities to love each other? 971 01:02:01,287 --> 01:02:05,388 Well, I gotta run. Lot of people to serve. Enjoy. 972 01:02:12,389 --> 01:02:15,390 Guess this comes as no surprise to those who remember his campaign promise, 973 01:02:15,490 --> 01:02:17,290 "I will lower taxes, 974 01:02:17,690 --> 01:02:19,890 "go crazy and build a gigantic ark." 975 01:02:27,991 --> 01:02:29,992 Oh, my gosh. 976 01:02:34,593 --> 01:02:35,593 Evan! 977 01:02:35,693 --> 01:02:36,793 Dad? 978 01:02:36,893 --> 01:02:37,993 Honey! 979 01:02:38,093 --> 01:02:39,093 Dad? 980 01:02:39,093 --> 01:02:40,894 You guys, I'm up here. 981 01:02:58,096 --> 01:03:00,097 - Rough week? - You look really funny. 982 01:03:00,197 --> 01:03:01,397 You look really old. 983 01:03:01,497 --> 01:03:02,997 Yeah, well, he is really old. 984 01:03:05,197 --> 01:03:06,398 Why'd you come back? 985 01:03:06,498 --> 01:03:07,598 It was the kids. 986 01:03:07,698 --> 01:03:08,554 Tell him, guys. 987 01:03:08,554 --> 01:03:10,898 We like you better as the crazy guy. 988 01:03:10,898 --> 01:03:13,299 You spend time with us and you're home a lot more. 989 01:03:13,399 --> 01:03:15,999 Just, please don't make us do the dance anymore. 990 01:03:37,602 --> 01:03:42,103 I don't know what's going on, or what you're going through, 991 01:03:42,803 --> 01:03:44,604 but we got into this as a family 992 01:03:45,483 --> 01:03:48,504 and we're gonna get out of it... as a family, 993 01:03:49,404 --> 01:03:51,005 side by side. 994 01:03:58,506 --> 01:04:01,906 But, Evan, we have to talk about the ark. It has to come down. 995 01:04:02,006 --> 01:04:03,307 I can't do that. 996 01:04:03,407 --> 01:04:04,807 You don't have a choice. 997 01:04:05,207 --> 01:04:08,807 Congressman Long went to the city. There's a laundry list of code violations. 998 01:04:08,807 --> 01:04:11,087 You have until September 22 to... take it down, 999 01:04:11,087 --> 01:04:13,208 or... they'll take it down and arrest you. 1000 01:04:13,308 --> 01:04:15,308 September 22. That's the day of the flood. 1001 01:04:15,408 --> 01:04:16,909 Mom! Dad! Come here! 1002 01:04:42,013 --> 01:04:44,413 Don't you dare take that ark down. 1003 01:04:47,013 --> 01:04:48,914 How are we gonna do this? 1004 01:04:49,014 --> 01:04:51,214 There's no way the five of us can finish on time. 1005 01:04:51,314 --> 01:04:53,414 We don't have money to hire anybody else. 1006 01:04:58,515 --> 01:05:00,416 Is that a llama with a hammer? 1007 01:05:00,516 --> 01:05:04,016 An alpaca. They rarely spit at people unless frightened or abused. 1008 01:05:06,517 --> 01:05:07,717 Let's finish this sucker. 1009 01:05:13,018 --> 01:05:14,218 Come on, let's go. 1010 01:05:14,218 --> 01:05:15,618 No one knows where they came from 1011 01:05:15,718 --> 01:05:17,518 or how the congressman is getting them to do it, 1012 01:05:17,618 --> 01:05:23,519 but, two by two, animals of all kinds are working with Godspeed to build this ark. 1013 01:05:23,619 --> 01:05:25,119 Thank you. 1014 01:05:25,219 --> 01:05:28,420 If this flood really does happen, "Evan help us". 1015 01:05:30,020 --> 01:05:31,520 Hey! A little help? 1016 01:05:35,521 --> 01:05:36,521 Thanks. 1017 01:05:37,921 --> 01:05:39,022 Here it is, hon. 1018 01:05:40,322 --> 01:05:43,022 Perfect. Thanks. 1019 01:05:47,023 --> 01:05:48,523 Hold it right there. 1020 01:05:48,623 --> 01:05:52,224 This is Ed Carson coming to you live from New York Noah's construction site, 1021 01:05:52,224 --> 01:05:57,325 where we are unable to leave the news van due to hazardous conditions outside. 1022 01:06:00,525 --> 01:06:01,525 - High five. - High five. 1023 01:06:01,525 --> 01:06:02,525 Good job. 1024 01:06:03,225 --> 01:06:04,926 Hey, putty tat. 1025 01:06:08,926 --> 01:06:11,827 Go, go, go! He tried to eat me! 1026 01:06:12,127 --> 01:06:14,827 Dylan! Jordan! Check it out! Your mom's building an ark! 1027 01:06:14,927 --> 01:06:16,228 Let's do the dance. 1028 01:06:16,328 --> 01:06:18,328 No, please, No. 1029 01:06:21,028 --> 01:06:22,929 Well, where did the animals come from, then? 1030 01:06:23,029 --> 01:06:24,129 Please. It's a trick. 1031 01:06:24,229 --> 01:06:25,629 It's a circus is what it is. 1032 01:06:25,729 --> 01:06:28,830 Wild animals running amok in suburban Virginia. 1033 01:06:28,830 --> 01:06:32,530 With all these species, what's being done about the feces? 1034 01:06:38,631 --> 01:06:43,932 Evan Baxter! You have gone from newsman to congressman to... caveman. 1035 01:06:44,032 --> 01:06:46,532 What makes you so sure God chose you? 1036 01:06:47,833 --> 01:06:49,533 He chose all of us. 1037 01:06:58,934 --> 01:07:00,835 Time to wash up, you guys. 1038 01:07:07,436 --> 01:07:08,636 Thanks. 1039 01:07:12,036 --> 01:07:13,537 You want some? 1040 01:07:33,476 --> 01:07:36,444 Why couldn't the man just buy a Corvette? 1041 01:07:36,701 --> 01:07:40,800 Well, well, well. There they are. It is good to see you guys. 1042 01:07:40,800 --> 01:07:46,100 It's good to see you! Your hair looks great. It's very regal. Man, I love your hair! 1043 01:07:46,100 --> 01:07:47,842 And you're still sucking up. 1044 01:07:47,942 --> 01:07:48,942 So, why are you here? 1045 01:07:49,042 --> 01:07:50,142 Long locked us out. 1046 01:07:50,242 --> 01:07:51,243 He can't do that. 1047 01:07:51,343 --> 01:07:53,543 I mean, I've been suspended, but I'm still a congressman. 1048 01:07:53,643 --> 01:07:54,743 Rita, tell him what you know. 1049 01:07:54,843 --> 01:07:55,843 Tell me what? 1050 01:07:55,943 --> 01:07:58,744 I smelled a rat the second we got that office. 1051 01:07:58,844 --> 01:08:00,844 You don't get an office like that for nothing. 1052 01:08:00,944 --> 01:08:04,145 So I had the stalker here do some research. 1053 01:08:04,145 --> 01:08:05,345 Okay, Eugene, talk. 1054 01:08:05,745 --> 01:08:07,292 Prestige Crest used to be federal lands, 1055 01:08:07,292 --> 01:08:10,546 but... what's interesting is how it got into private hands. 1056 01:08:10,546 --> 01:08:12,946 Congressman Long got the approval to build a dam 1057 01:08:13,046 --> 01:08:15,946 and then passed out the surrounding lands to a group of private investors. 1058 01:08:16,046 --> 01:08:17,347 Now, the locals fought this thing for years. 1059 01:08:17,447 --> 01:08:19,647 They said Long and his developer buddies were cutting corners, 1060 01:08:19,747 --> 01:08:22,047 like skipping important building code checkpoints. 1061 01:08:22,047 --> 01:08:25,148 And with the land use bill, he's gonna do the same thing with the national parks. 1062 01:08:25,248 --> 01:08:28,948 So, you stand by and shake your pom-poms while Long and his buddies get rich. 1063 01:08:29,048 --> 01:08:31,149 What can we do? I'm suspended. 1064 01:08:31,249 --> 01:08:34,649 Go back to the Hill and show them that you can and will fight this bill. 1065 01:08:34,749 --> 01:08:37,750 You guys, I'm sorry. I can't do that. I have to get back to the ark. 1066 01:08:37,750 --> 01:08:39,450 The ark? All right. Okay. 1067 01:08:39,550 --> 01:08:41,450 God told you to build an ark? - Yes. 1068 01:08:41,550 --> 01:08:44,551 But did he tell you to make your friends believe in you and follow you here 1069 01:08:44,651 --> 01:08:47,751 so you can make us look stupid? Cause I go to church every Sunday. 1070 01:08:48,678 --> 01:08:50,252 Okay, every other Sunday. 1071 01:08:51,252 --> 01:08:54,587 I've been to church! And that does not sound like God to me. 1072 01:08:54,587 --> 01:08:57,028 Rita, I know that this doesn't make any sense. 1073 01:08:57,028 --> 01:08:59,754 I just want you to trust me. You just have to have faith. 1074 01:08:59,920 --> 01:09:04,362 Evan, faith will not fight this bill. The CINPLAN vote is today! 1075 01:09:04,362 --> 01:09:08,207 If we're gonna stop this thing, you need to get down to Capitol Hill now! 1076 01:09:08,207 --> 01:09:09,619 Otherwise, it's impossible! 1077 01:09:09,619 --> 01:09:13,216 Dad, dad, I think it's done. 1078 01:10:11,234 --> 01:10:15,665 What in the world? I can't even get my cat to use the litter box. 1079 01:10:57,072 --> 01:11:00,834 It's September 22, and we're all still here. 1080 01:11:01,218 --> 01:11:02,893 Awkward! 1081 01:11:02,905 --> 01:11:06,071 People! The flood is imminent! 1082 01:11:06,071 --> 01:11:10,274 Board the ark! Save yourselves! 1083 01:11:10,374 --> 01:11:11,774 Get down, you fool! 1084 01:11:12,274 --> 01:11:16,275 Listen to me! The time has come! 1085 01:11:16,375 --> 01:11:20,476 No, Captain Ahab! Your time has come! 1086 01:11:21,776 --> 01:11:26,476 Yeah, Baxter! The weather's 70 and sunny with a chance of crazy! 1087 01:11:31,877 --> 01:11:36,078 Do you hear that? The rains are upon us! 1088 01:11:36,178 --> 01:11:37,878 Dad, I don't think that's the rains. 1089 01:11:42,279 --> 01:11:44,979 Hey, Baxter! Kiss your ark goodbye! 1090 01:11:57,381 --> 01:11:57,794 Where is he? 1091 01:11:57,794 --> 01:11:59,209 On the boat, sir. 1092 01:12:00,147 --> 01:12:02,330 Gimme a minute. Lets see if I can convince "Noah" 1093 01:12:02,330 --> 01:12:04,646 that the world doesn't have to end today. 1094 01:12:08,683 --> 01:12:11,533 I gotta hand it to you, this is quite the show. 1095 01:12:11,533 --> 01:12:14,474 According to my source, the show hasn't even started yet. 1096 01:12:14,474 --> 01:12:16,188 Still expecting the big flood. 1097 01:12:16,188 --> 01:12:18,632 You know, voters don't respond to the gloom and doom stuff. 1098 01:12:18,632 --> 01:12:20,075 They like a more positive message. 1099 01:12:20,075 --> 01:12:21,801 Like the one you're sending with your bill? 1100 01:12:21,801 --> 01:12:23,869 How much did you make off of all this land? 1101 01:12:23,869 --> 01:12:27,267 You are destroying our national parks for profit. 1102 01:12:27,267 --> 01:12:29,267 You have a problem with somebody taking a little profit? 1103 01:12:29,267 --> 01:12:30,844 It's called business, son. 1104 01:12:30,844 --> 01:12:33,279 So if I need to get a message out there, or get a congressman elected 1105 01:12:33,279 --> 01:12:37,517 there are people who pay for it, and yes, those people want this bill to happen 1106 01:12:37,517 --> 01:12:41,592 and, by God, it's gonna happen. Now you look down there. 1107 01:12:42,064 --> 01:12:43,639 Those are the wolves, son. 1108 01:12:43,857 --> 01:12:47,215 I'm gonna give you one last chance. Take down this boat. 1109 01:12:47,215 --> 01:12:51,488 I'm giving you one last chance. Repent. 1110 01:12:52,289 --> 01:12:56,099 Such a shame. You had possibilities. 1111 01:12:56,217 --> 01:13:00,105 But you wanna stop progress to save the Earth. Go for it. 1112 01:13:00,105 --> 01:13:02,645 Good luck getting a tree to come to the polls. 1113 01:13:07,983 --> 01:13:09,342 Take it down. 1114 01:13:16,781 --> 01:13:20,184 This is a court order approving the demolition of this boat! 1115 01:13:20,184 --> 01:13:23,364 Evacuate immediately! You have three minutes! 1116 01:13:25,857 --> 01:13:30,323 Honey. We have to go. They're gonna destroy the boat. 1117 01:13:30,824 --> 01:13:31,717 No. 1118 01:13:32,827 --> 01:13:34,751 It can't end this way. 1119 01:13:36,183 --> 01:13:40,728 Is it too much to ask for a little precipitation? 1120 01:13:41,385 --> 01:13:45,125 Honey, maybe God didn't mean a literal flood. 1121 01:13:45,125 --> 01:13:50,435 Maybe He meant a flood of... knowledge or... emotion or awareness. 1122 01:13:50,453 --> 01:13:51,804 If that's true, 1123 01:13:53,500 --> 01:13:56,386 I am going to be so pissed. 1124 01:13:56,454 --> 01:13:57,780 Two minutes! 1125 01:13:57,780 --> 01:14:01,323 Get off the boat now or you will be removed by force. 1126 01:14:01,323 --> 01:14:04,943 Evan, you did it. You built the ark. 1127 01:14:04,943 --> 01:14:06,411 That's all you were asked to do, right? 1128 01:14:06,411 --> 01:14:07,364 No. 1129 01:14:07,799 --> 01:14:12,261 There's something else. Something's going to happen. I can feel it. 1130 01:14:12,261 --> 01:14:15,144 Yeah, what's gonna happen is tear gas and a wrecking ball. 1131 01:14:15,144 --> 01:14:16,863 Evan, think of the kids. 1132 01:14:18,192 --> 01:14:19,888 One minute! 1133 01:14:21,794 --> 01:14:23,544 Dad, whatever you say, I'm with you. 1134 01:14:23,544 --> 01:14:25,056 Yeah, me, too. 1135 01:14:25,056 --> 01:14:27,656 Me, too. But... can we keep some of the animals? 1136 01:14:27,656 --> 01:14:29,844 I like the alpaca. He spits. 1137 01:14:34,363 --> 01:14:38,122 You're right. We did it. We built the boat. 1138 01:14:38,419 --> 01:14:39,481 Yeah. 1139 01:14:40,003 --> 01:14:42,662 Let's go. Let's go, guys. Come on. 1140 01:14:56,010 --> 01:14:57,213 Well, I guess they don't wannna go. 1141 01:14:57,213 --> 01:14:58,789 It's their instinct. 1142 01:14:58,789 --> 01:15:00,192 What do you mean, hon? 1143 01:15:00,445 --> 01:15:05,278 Some animals know when weather's coming. When they feel it coming, they sit. 1144 01:15:13,646 --> 01:15:14,858 Joan! 1145 01:15:24,041 --> 01:15:26,503 Okay. Time's up! We're coming in! 1146 01:15:26,503 --> 01:15:29,659 Get that ball in position! We're clearing them out! 1147 01:15:41,217 --> 01:15:44,135 Is that rain? It's raining. 1148 01:15:44,135 --> 01:15:47,288 Lucky guess, Baxter. Lucky guess. 1149 01:16:03,360 --> 01:16:07,002 Looks like the drought's finally over. Good news, eh, Congressman? 1150 01:16:07,431 --> 01:16:10,069 Yeah. Good news. 1151 01:16:12,284 --> 01:16:18,419 Everybody! Please! Get on the ark! 1152 01:16:20,123 --> 01:16:21,285 Go to the car! 1153 01:16:21,407 --> 01:16:25,529 Please! Everyone! On the ark! 1154 01:16:25,529 --> 01:16:29,092 Cover me up! Keep me dry! Cover me up! Keep me dry! 1155 01:16:29,324 --> 01:16:33,325 Who's crazy now, huh? Look at us all squishing! 1156 01:16:41,111 --> 01:16:43,126 It kind of stopped raining. 1157 01:16:43,226 --> 01:16:44,070 Is that it? 1158 01:16:44,070 --> 01:16:46,567 What did I tell you? It's fine. It's over. 1159 01:16:46,567 --> 01:16:49,057 Hey, Ahab! This is it? 1160 01:16:49,204 --> 01:16:52,392 Your God experiencing a little water shortage? 1161 01:16:52,917 --> 01:16:56,218 It would appear Evan Baxter was right about the rain, 1162 01:16:56,450 --> 01:17:00,719 with a slight miscalculation as to the quantity. 1163 01:17:04,314 --> 01:17:05,692 Something's wrong. 1164 01:17:05,838 --> 01:17:07,679 Honey, the clouds are moving away. 1165 01:17:07,679 --> 01:17:10,756 No, no. No, this isn't right. 1166 01:17:11,366 --> 01:17:14,855 Evan, even if it kept raining, it's not like it could cause a flood in a day. 1167 01:17:14,855 --> 01:17:19,977 But today is the day! It has to be. This just doesn't make any sense! 1168 01:17:22,433 --> 01:17:23,533 Wait a second. 1169 01:17:23,633 --> 01:17:24,271 What... what is it? 1170 01:17:24,271 --> 01:17:27,949 Marty said that Long cut corners, violated building codes. 1171 01:17:27,949 --> 01:17:28,807 What are you talking about? 1172 01:17:28,807 --> 01:17:30,811 The lake, Long Lake. 1173 01:17:30,811 --> 01:17:35,006 It's named after him. It's the lake! It's the lake! 1174 01:17:48,237 --> 01:17:49,364 Oh, no. 1175 01:17:51,081 --> 01:17:55,683 Get on the ark! Everyone, on the ark... now! 1176 01:17:55,683 --> 01:17:57,547 I think we should get on the ark. 1177 01:17:57,605 --> 01:18:00,500 I agree. I think we should get on the ark also. 1178 01:18:00,512 --> 01:18:04,039 I'm cold. I'm wet. I'm going home. 1179 01:18:11,640 --> 01:18:13,359 Ladies first! Move! 1180 01:18:21,251 --> 01:18:25,566 Oh, my God. This is happening. This is really happening. 1181 01:18:25,910 --> 01:18:29,220 Holy... Get everyone on the ark now! 1182 01:18:29,220 --> 01:18:32,494 Get on the ark now! Let's go! Get on the ark! Let's go! Go! 1183 01:18:32,544 --> 01:18:35,311 Go, go, go, go! Get on the ark! 1184 01:18:36,520 --> 01:18:41,145 Go, go, go! On the ark! Go, go, go, go, go! 1185 01:18:41,245 --> 01:18:43,282 All right, boys! Let's go! Let's go! 1186 01:18:43,384 --> 01:18:47,455 We're gonna need a bigger boat. Stay here with the kids. 1187 01:18:56,277 --> 01:18:57,247 Come on, Rita! 1188 01:18:57,763 --> 01:19:02,106 Everyone, up the ramp! Onto the deck! Come on! Hurry, hurry, hurry! 1189 01:19:02,106 --> 01:19:04,209 Dylan, get back inside! It's too dangerous. 1190 01:19:04,209 --> 01:19:06,393 No, dad. I told you, I'm with you. 1191 01:19:10,394 --> 01:19:13,379 Careful, everyone. In the ark! In the ark! 1192 01:19:13,750 --> 01:19:16,024 Watch your step! Up the ramp, everybody! 1193 01:19:23,723 --> 01:19:24,676 Guys, help me with the door! 1194 01:19:24,676 --> 01:19:26,122 Get the door! Get the door! 1195 01:20:08,711 --> 01:20:10,306 Guys! Guys! 1196 01:20:43,449 --> 01:20:45,458 Everybody hang on! 1197 01:20:56,685 --> 01:20:58,907 You guys all right? You okay? 1198 01:20:59,132 --> 01:21:00,778 There's been a flood at Prestige Crest 1199 01:21:00,778 --> 01:21:03,121 and you're seeing live images of New York Noah's ark 1200 01:21:03,121 --> 01:21:06,868 caught in the storm surge and heading towards Memorial Bridge! 1201 01:21:14,288 --> 01:21:15,223 We're gonna crash! 1202 01:21:15,223 --> 01:21:16,721 Turn this thing around! 1203 01:21:16,721 --> 01:21:18,242 We're not gonna make it! 1204 01:21:18,242 --> 01:21:20,139 Save us, Baxter! 1205 01:21:31,521 --> 01:21:36,076 I command thee halt! Stop! Whoa! 1206 01:21:36,076 --> 01:21:38,040 It's not working! 1207 01:21:38,407 --> 01:21:41,445 How about a little help here? 1208 01:22:27,455 --> 01:22:29,621 What do you mean there was water damage? It rained for ten minutes. 1209 01:22:29,621 --> 01:22:31,551 That is not possible. 1210 01:22:41,152 --> 01:22:42,903 - I love you guys. - All right. 1211 01:22:42,903 --> 01:22:44,397 - Seriously. - Okay, I got it. 1212 01:22:44,397 --> 01:22:45,933 - I love you. - Thank you. 1213 01:23:03,161 --> 01:23:07,838 All those in favor of the Public Land Act, please signify by saying "Aye". 1214 01:23:14,814 --> 01:23:16,118 Good God! 1215 01:23:51,335 --> 01:23:53,366 I think we can walk from here. 1216 01:24:10,976 --> 01:24:15,937 Hello, Congressman. Mind if I... park my boat here for a little while? 1217 01:24:16,998 --> 01:24:17,553 But how...? 1218 01:24:17,553 --> 01:24:18,996 The dam, Congressman. 1219 01:24:18,996 --> 01:24:22,591 Your reservoir ruptured. Prestige Crest, it's all gone. 1220 01:24:22,591 --> 01:24:24,878 No. They said that couldn't happen. 1221 01:24:26,144 --> 01:24:27,805 I never thought this... 1222 01:24:28,722 --> 01:24:34,251 You. You did this to me. You set me up, you crazy son of a... 1223 01:24:37,049 --> 01:24:39,935 Wow. That is disgusting. 1224 01:24:40,077 --> 01:24:41,352 If that comes out your front, 1225 01:24:41,352 --> 01:24:43,857 I don't even wanna know what's coming out the back. 1226 01:24:48,017 --> 01:24:50,426 Don't look down, Congressman, but the wolves are here, 1227 01:24:50,464 --> 01:24:54,724 although I wouldn't worry so much about these wolves as those. 1228 01:25:02,888 --> 01:25:04,273 Gesundheit. 1229 01:25:16,184 --> 01:25:19,860 As you can see behind me, New York Noah's prediction came true. 1230 01:25:19,860 --> 01:25:22,492 The vote of the Land Act Bill has been suspended, 1231 01:25:22,492 --> 01:25:25,483 pending investigation of Congressman Long for profiteering. 1232 01:25:25,483 --> 01:25:28,567 Of course now, the question is, how will these animals be returned 1233 01:25:28,567 --> 01:25:30,307 to their natural habitats? 1234 01:25:30,316 --> 01:25:34,066 Something tells me, if God got them here, He can probably get them home. 1235 01:25:34,066 --> 01:25:37,266 The House will undoubtedly reinstate Congressman Baxter 1236 01:25:37,266 --> 01:25:39,187 when it reconvenes in the morning. 1237 01:25:39,187 --> 01:25:42,784 Until then, there is a lot to be done here on Capitol Hill. 1238 01:25:42,784 --> 01:25:44,071 How's Buster doing? 1239 01:25:44,071 --> 01:25:45,295 Come on, Buster. 1240 01:25:45,373 --> 01:25:48,012 - No, come on. Come on! - Come on! 1241 01:25:48,112 --> 01:25:49,193 - These too heavy? It's all right? - No, it's fine. 1242 01:25:49,193 --> 01:25:50,393 He can't keep up. 1243 01:25:50,517 --> 01:25:51,995 I know, sweetie! 1244 01:25:51,995 --> 01:25:55,312 All right. What do you say we take a little break? 1245 01:25:55,312 --> 01:25:57,201 We've only been walking for, like, five minutes, dad. 1246 01:25:57,201 --> 01:26:00,225 Well, five on, five off. Life is about balance, right? 1247 01:26:00,225 --> 01:26:01,690 How 'bout some sandwiches? - Okay. 1248 01:26:01,690 --> 01:26:03,715 Who wants sandwiches? Let's do it! 1249 01:26:03,815 --> 01:26:04,310 I get first dibs! 1250 01:26:04,310 --> 01:26:07,218 Everyone but Buster is going to get a sandwich. 1251 01:26:07,218 --> 01:26:11,521 You do not get a sandwich! You're a dog and... 1252 01:26:11,570 --> 01:26:14,698 Buster is part of the family now. You're just gonna have to get used to it. 1253 01:26:14,698 --> 01:26:16,665 Poor Buster! 1254 01:26:17,557 --> 01:26:20,662 Honey, come here. Sweetheart, be careful. Come here. 1255 01:26:20,662 --> 01:26:22,657 - Hey, hon, save me one, okay? - Okay. 1256 01:26:22,657 --> 01:26:23,801 I'll be right back. 1257 01:26:32,241 --> 01:26:34,048 - Hey. - Hey. 1258 01:26:35,484 --> 01:26:37,055 What are you doing here? 1259 01:26:37,886 --> 01:26:40,109 Just hanging out with some old friends. 1260 01:26:40,109 --> 01:26:43,665 You knew all along, didn't you? You knew the dam was unstable.... 1261 01:26:43,665 --> 01:26:47,094 If it hadn't been for the ark, my family, the neighbors... 1262 01:26:47,479 --> 01:26:49,779 I fought you every step of the way. 1263 01:26:49,779 --> 01:26:51,924 Yes, but you did it. 1264 01:26:52,181 --> 01:26:56,978 So, you had nothing to do with the flood? Like... where the ark landed exactly? 1265 01:26:56,978 --> 01:27:00,731 I gave you a little shove at the end. Sue me. 1266 01:27:02,967 --> 01:27:06,325 You did good, son. You changed the world. 1267 01:27:06,724 --> 01:27:08,526 No, no, I didn't. 1268 01:27:08,526 --> 01:27:09,301 Well, let's see. 1269 01:27:09,301 --> 01:27:13,397 Spending time with your family, making them very happy. 1270 01:27:13,696 --> 01:27:15,587 Gave that dog a home. 1271 01:27:15,727 --> 01:27:17,178 Right. So? 1272 01:27:17,585 --> 01:27:18,656 So? 1273 01:27:19,372 --> 01:27:21,480 How do we change the world? 1274 01:27:23,152 --> 01:27:26,788 One act of random kindness at a time. 1275 01:27:26,788 --> 01:27:31,729 One act of random kindness. 1276 01:27:31,829 --> 01:27:33,071 Wow. 1277 01:27:36,606 --> 01:27:38,007 It's time. 1278 01:27:39,736 --> 01:27:41,443 Do the dance. 1279 01:27:42,582 --> 01:27:44,414 Care to join me? 1280 01:28:40,980 --> 01:28:43,332 I now issue a new commandment, 1281 01:28:43,632 --> 01:28:46,210 "Thou shalt do the dance". 1282 01:29:48,350 --> 01:29:51,325 Stop it! This is stupid! 1283 01:29:51,325 --> 01:29:55,090 That's awful dancing! You better stop! 1284 01:30:33,157 --> 01:30:34,703 Ladies and gentlemen, you don't have to go home. 1285 01:30:34,703 --> 01:30:37,598 You just have to go. We are wrapped. 1286 01:30:37,598 --> 01:30:40,896 We're wrapped. We love you. Thank you. 1287 01:30:41,000 --> 01:30:44,114 Download Movie Subtitles Searcher from www.OpenSubtitles.org