1 00:00:47,213 --> 00:00:49,915 ♪ Light as a feather Stiff as a board 2 00:00:49,916 --> 00:00:52,885 ♪ I'm-a elevate myself on my own accord 3 00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:56,839 ♪ Ain't nobody's business Who's life is this? 4 00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:59,592 ♪ You question my existence I'm-a read you the list 5 00:00:59,592 --> 00:01:02,728 ♪ I'll keep you on your toes That's just how it goes 6 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:05,932 ♪ You can deal with the lows Just keep dodging the blows 7 00:01:05,932 --> 00:01:09,268 ♪ So I'm-a do me Who else do I be? 8 00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:12,405 ♪ 'Cause I create my own destiny 9 00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:15,825 ♪ I'm-a take back the world Yo, you got this, girl 10 00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:18,911 ♪ I'm steppin' up my game I'll keep repeating the same 11 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:21,497 ♪ Be on my hustle every minute of the day 12 00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:23,500 ♪ It was mine for the taking anyways 13 00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:26,002 ♪ I'm-a take back the world ♪ 14 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:33,653 How come you always look so great in the morning? 15 00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:36,155 Do I? Aw. 16 00:02:43,947 --> 00:02:44,948 Got to go, babe. 17 00:02:44,948 --> 00:02:46,833 Oh! I made tempeh sausage. 18 00:02:57,210 --> 00:03:00,012 Hey, so, I was thinking that maybe you'd want to be my date 19 00:03:00,430 --> 00:03:02,432 to my sister's wedding. 20 00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:04,300 There's a vegetarian alternative. I already checked. 21 00:03:06,219 --> 00:03:08,771 Are your parents going to be there? 22 00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:13,109 At my sister's wedding? I think so. 23 00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:14,611 I don't know. It just feels a little serious. 24 00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:18,114 Oh. 25 00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:20,616 I'm sorry, it just... 26 00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:22,118 It felt kind of serious last night 27 00:03:22,118 --> 00:03:23,619 when you were doing me from behind, 28 00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:24,988 but I couldn't see your face, so... 29 00:03:33,913 --> 00:03:36,465 You know, if you ever want to just hook up, you can call me. 30 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:40,970 Oh, thank you, Rick. That's very generous of you. 31 00:03:42,005 --> 00:03:44,007 Yeah. 32 00:03:44,007 --> 00:03:45,508 See you around. 33 00:03:46,509 --> 00:03:48,344 Keep it green. 34 00:03:48,344 --> 00:03:50,846 ♪ I roll with the punches Take 'em as they come 35 00:03:50,847 --> 00:03:53,766 ♪ There's some disappointment But what's the point 36 00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:57,987 WOMAN: Colin, hurry up. 37 00:03:57,987 --> 00:04:00,823 ♪ Take a break for a sec Prepare for what's coming next 38 00:04:00,823 --> 00:04:02,825 ♪ I'm-a take back the world 39 00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:05,945 DAISY:Ally, I could have told you 40 00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:08,331 it wasn't going to work out with Rick two months ago. 41 00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:09,832 Why? 42 00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:12,334 You love meat, you hate cyclists. 43 00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:13,336 I do love meat. 44 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:14,787 And to be honest, 45 00:04:14,787 --> 00:04:16,288 I was always a little worried about the way 46 00:04:16,289 --> 00:04:18,207 he kept wanting to do it doggy style. 47 00:04:18,207 --> 00:04:20,709 Some people like that, you know. 48 00:04:20,710 --> 00:04:22,261 No, nobody likes it. 49 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,297 Even the dogs are just waiting for it to be over. 50 00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:27,933 How many relationships do I have to have before I meet the right guy? 51 00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:29,435 Evidently a lot. 52 00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:33,639 Hi. Hi, I'm the bride. I'm Daisy. If you could just... 53 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:37,060 ♪ I'm-a take back the world Yo, you got this, girl 54 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:40,529 ♪ I'm steppin' up my game I'll keep repeating the same 55 00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:43,032 ♪ Be on my hustle every minute of the day 56 00:04:43,032 --> 00:04:44,700 ♪ Never let it get away 57 00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:48,204 ♪ I'm staying motivated Keep it uncomplicated 58 00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:52,708 ♪ Nothing in between me and my dream 59 00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:55,495 ♪ Be on my hustle every minute of the day 60 00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:57,330 ♪ It was mine for the taking anyways 61 00:04:57,330 --> 00:04:59,048 ♪ I'm-a take back the world ♪ 62 00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:00,549 Hi. 63 00:05:02,335 --> 00:05:03,836 Hi, guys. 64 00:05:03,836 --> 00:05:05,337 Hi. Hi. 65 00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:09,392 Right now. Thinking or smelling? 66 00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:11,310 Ooh, no doubt smelling. 67 00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:13,979 Oh, he's obviously thinking. 68 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,931 Whatever she's saying is thought-provoking. 69 00:05:15,932 --> 00:05:18,734 That would be true if she's talking about what his finger smells like. 70 00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:26,693 Ally. 71 00:05:27,193 --> 00:05:27,943 Hi. 72 00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:34,867 Jet Li is not related to Bruce Lee. 73 00:05:34,867 --> 00:05:36,869 Lee is a very common Chinese last name. 74 00:05:37,370 --> 00:05:39,538 They both know kung fu, but that's the... 75 00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:43,092 Keep your coat on. 76 00:05:43,092 --> 00:05:45,377 Okay, hold... I got to call you back. 77 00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:53,102 Sweetheart, we have to let you go. 78 00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:57,055 I'm sorry, but we had to make some painful cuts. 79 00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,112 Who else is getting fired? 80 00:06:03,112 --> 00:06:05,063 Well, for now, 81 00:06:06,232 --> 00:06:07,616 just you. 82 00:06:23,833 --> 00:06:24,834 Oy! 83 00:06:32,341 --> 00:06:36,345 Hi, Mom, can I call you right back? I'm in a meeting. Okay. 84 00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:45,321 Mmm. 85 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:48,191 Not necessary. 86 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:52,161 No. 87 00:06:55,198 --> 00:06:56,199 Oh. 88 00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:04,507 10.5? Holy shit! 89 00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:08,010 I'm sorry. 90 00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:10,595 It just says here, the average number of lovers 91 00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:13,432 women have in their lifetime is 10.5. 92 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,718 Yeah, that seems very high. 93 00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:18,637 High? No, that's low! 94 00:07:18,638 --> 00:07:20,139 10.5 is low! 95 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,058 Whatever you say. 96 00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:14,493 Valerio! 97 00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:38,851 Oh! Finally! 98 00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:40,352 Hi, Mom. 99 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,271 Ow. 100 00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:43,772 Oh, sorry. 101 00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:45,524 Sorry, the train was late. You look great. 102 00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:49,645 I'm growing out my bangs. 103 00:08:49,645 --> 00:08:51,146 Mmm. 104 00:08:51,147 --> 00:08:53,149 Oh, where is Rick? 105 00:08:53,149 --> 00:08:56,035 Rick's on a business trip, for his business. 106 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:58,487 Oh, nuts! I was looking forward to finally meeting him. 107 00:08:58,487 --> 00:09:00,489 At least this one doesn't make balloon animals. 108 00:09:00,990 --> 00:09:03,909 Why aren't you wearing the dress I bought you? 109 00:09:03,910 --> 00:09:06,212 This is the dress you bought me. 110 00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:08,464 What? It looked very different on the mannequin. 111 00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:10,917 Is Daisy upstairs? 112 00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:12,418 Yes, she is. She is a wreck! 113 00:09:12,418 --> 00:09:13,919 Okay. I'm gonna go check on her. 114 00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:15,921 Please do. 115 00:09:16,923 --> 00:09:18,925 Oh, your cousin Beau is here. 116 00:09:18,925 --> 00:09:20,343 Step-cousin. 117 00:09:20,343 --> 00:09:23,346 He's a step-cousin. We're not even really related. 118 00:09:25,848 --> 00:09:27,349 Beau. 119 00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:29,819 Hi. 120 00:09:30,319 --> 00:09:31,820 Oh, thank God you're here. 121 00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:34,607 Mom has been such a bitch ever since Eddie's parents got here. 122 00:09:34,607 --> 00:09:38,077 She just cannot believe that her marriage ended before theirs did. 123 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:39,579 Well, Dad should be here soon, 124 00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:41,497 so she'll have someone else to focus her hatred on. 125 00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:45,117 Um, Dad's not coming. She wouldn't let me invite him here. 126 00:09:45,117 --> 00:09:47,202 Are you inviting him to the wedding? 127 00:09:47,203 --> 00:09:49,088 I don't know. 128 00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:50,089 Oh. 129 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,545 Hey, what was Creepy Puppet Guy's actual name? 130 00:09:57,046 --> 00:09:59,098 You mean the guy who lived next door who was obsessed with me? 131 00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:00,099 Gerry Perry. 132 00:10:00,099 --> 00:10:02,101 Gerry Perry! Thank you. 133 00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:06,939 What are you writing? 134 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,109 Nothing, just some notes for my toast. 135 00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:11,477 Is it gonna rhyme? 136 00:10:11,477 --> 00:10:13,729 That depends. What rhymes with "orgy"? 137 00:10:13,729 --> 00:10:15,864 You just keep it under three minutes. Ready? 138 00:10:16,232 --> 00:10:17,233 You look amazing. 139 00:10:17,233 --> 00:10:18,734 Thank you. 140 00:10:18,734 --> 00:10:20,235 You go ahead. I'll be down in a couple of minutes. 141 00:10:20,236 --> 00:10:21,737 Okay. 142 00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:25,658 Eight, nine, 10, 11, 143 00:10:25,658 --> 00:10:27,793 12, 13, 14, 15, 144 00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:32,131 16, 17, 18, 19. 145 00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:36,635 Holy shit. 19? 146 00:10:46,512 --> 00:10:48,814 May I have your attention, please? 147 00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:52,151 Oh, yoo-hoo! 148 00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:55,654 Can I have your attention, please? I want to thank you all, 149 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,657 each and every one... Huh. 150 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:58,658 Cute. 151 00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:04,580 Beau. 152 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:09,919 Careful. He can be a little rough on the nipples. 153 00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:12,371 ...to celebrate my dream come true, 154 00:11:12,371 --> 00:11:15,257 the engagement of Daisy and Eddie. 155 00:11:15,257 --> 00:11:16,258 Ooh. 156 00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:18,460 As most of you know, we are a family 157 00:11:18,461 --> 00:11:20,463 that likes to toast one another. 158 00:11:20,463 --> 00:11:24,967 So, to start the ball rolling, Daisy's big sister... Ally? 159 00:11:25,968 --> 00:11:26,969 Ally. 160 00:11:31,223 --> 00:11:32,524 ALLY: Hello. 161 00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:34,360 Hello. 162 00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:48,290 When Daisy first told me that she was dating Eddie, 163 00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:49,157 I couldn't believe it. 164 00:11:49,625 --> 00:11:51,126 GUESTS: Aw! 165 00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:54,713 I said, "Eddie Vogel? 166 00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,216 "The schmuck you went out with in high school? 167 00:11:57,216 --> 00:11:59,084 "He was the biggest douche-bag of them all." 168 00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:03,255 Even worse than Baby Hands. You guys remember him? 169 00:12:04,673 --> 00:12:06,141 Baby Hands. 170 00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:10,262 You know how Eddie broke up with her? 171 00:12:10,763 --> 00:12:12,264 He started dating her best friend, 172 00:12:12,264 --> 00:12:13,898 who's here tonight, by the way. 173 00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:15,734 Sheila, stand up. 174 00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:22,908 But... 175 00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:25,410 But 176 00:12:25,911 --> 00:12:29,915 when Eddie saw Daisy at their high school reunion, 177 00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:32,417 he knew what a big mistake he had made. 178 00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,420 No offense, Sheila. 179 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:36,455 And now, Eddie's amazing. 180 00:12:36,455 --> 00:12:38,457 You wouldn't even know he's the same guy. 181 00:12:38,457 --> 00:12:41,510 Except he looks exactly the same. 182 00:12:44,797 --> 00:12:47,800 God! I wish I went to my high school reunion, 183 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:50,552 but I was growing out my bangs. 184 00:12:50,553 --> 00:12:53,772 I'm always growing out my bangs. Don't get bangs. 185 00:12:57,860 --> 00:13:00,863 Well, to Daisy and Eddie! 186 00:13:03,315 --> 00:13:04,983 It's okay. It's okay. 187 00:13:11,991 --> 00:13:15,494 SHEILA: Okay, to Daisy and Eddie and the end of your life. 188 00:13:15,995 --> 00:13:16,996 To Daisy and Eddie. 189 00:13:16,996 --> 00:13:19,381 ALL: To Daisy and Eddie. To me. 190 00:13:22,251 --> 00:13:23,969 Okay, it's party game time! 191 00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:25,470 Oh, a game? Really? 192 00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:26,755 Absolutely! 193 00:13:26,755 --> 00:13:30,759 But which one? God, what to play? What to play? 194 00:13:30,759 --> 00:13:33,344 Ooh! Let's write down the number of people we slept with. 195 00:13:33,345 --> 00:13:34,729 Great idea, Katie. What? 196 00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:38,650 Okay, we just need paper and more drinks. Be right back. 197 00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:46,992 Of all the gin joints in all the towns. 198 00:13:46,992 --> 00:13:50,996 Of all the cliches in all the world. 199 00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:54,866 Wow. I didn't know you were gonna take getting fired so hard. 200 00:13:54,867 --> 00:13:58,871 I don't have to laugh at your jokes anymore because you're not my boss. 201 00:13:58,871 --> 00:14:01,874 Let me buy you these drinks. I feel really bad about today. 202 00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:03,709 Really? 203 00:14:04,126 --> 00:14:06,128 Thanks. I can't afford them anyway. 204 00:14:06,128 --> 00:14:07,512 Can I be honest with you? 205 00:14:07,963 --> 00:14:10,298 You never seemed to like marketing anyhow. 206 00:14:10,299 --> 00:14:11,266 I liked it. 207 00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:12,635 Yeah, but you didn't love it. 208 00:14:13,135 --> 00:14:14,636 I guess I did you a favor. 209 00:14:15,137 --> 00:14:19,391 Now you can go get a job that you love with a boss who you, uh, like. 210 00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:21,777 I like you. 211 00:14:21,777 --> 00:14:24,112 Really? How much? 212 00:14:27,399 --> 00:14:28,400 She bought the whole bottle, didn't she? 213 00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:33,455 ALLY: Okay, so just write down the number of guys you've slept with 214 00:14:33,455 --> 00:14:34,956 and put it in this glass, 215 00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:38,377 and then we'll pick out the number and guess who it belongs to. 216 00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:39,878 Daisy, you go first. 217 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:40,996 Yeah. 218 00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:43,299 Four. 219 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:44,883 Oh! That's me. Yay! 220 00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:46,885 No, no, no, that's not how you're supposed to play the game. 221 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,837 We're supposed to guess. 222 00:14:48,837 --> 00:14:50,839 Who wasn't gonna guess Katie? She married Matt when she was, like, 12. 223 00:14:51,340 --> 00:14:52,424 I'm surprised you've had that many. 224 00:14:52,424 --> 00:14:53,425 Well... 225 00:14:53,926 --> 00:14:55,344 ALLY: Katie, your turn, let's go. 226 00:14:56,845 --> 00:14:59,848 Eight. Eight... Daisy. 227 00:14:59,848 --> 00:15:02,851 Yes, and I am twice the woman you are. 228 00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:04,936 Six. 229 00:15:05,437 --> 00:15:07,322 Jamie? Yep, that's me. 230 00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:09,274 Wait a second, you're a seven. 231 00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:10,992 I never had sex with Lars. 232 00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:12,494 Yes, you did. 233 00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:15,030 No. He only stuck it in just a little, so it doesn't count. 234 00:15:15,030 --> 00:15:16,414 How much was it in? 235 00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:18,200 This much. 236 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:19,701 What is that? That tells me nothing. 237 00:15:19,702 --> 00:15:21,420 I've no idea how big Lars' penis is. 238 00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:23,255 I do. Counts. 239 00:15:23,622 --> 00:15:25,624 Okay. How much needs to go in to be considered sex? 240 00:15:26,125 --> 00:15:27,509 Anything more than the tip. 241 00:15:27,509 --> 00:15:29,844 Fine, I'm a seven. I mean, eight. 242 00:15:30,296 --> 00:15:32,014 Shit! Nine! Atta girl. 243 00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:33,181 Okay, Jamie, you go. 244 00:15:35,217 --> 00:15:36,718 Hmm. 245 00:15:36,719 --> 00:15:37,970 Thirteen. 246 00:15:37,970 --> 00:15:39,972 KATIE:Thirteen? Who here is a 13? 247 00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:41,223 Me. 248 00:15:41,223 --> 00:15:42,857 Whore! Trashy girl. Slut. 249 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:44,776 KATIE: Sheila! JAMIE: Slut! 250 00:15:45,277 --> 00:15:46,778 Slutty whore! 251 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,363 What is the big deal? 252 00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:51,617 That is 13 different penises in one vagina. 253 00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:54,453 SHEILA: It's not like they were all in there at the same time. 254 00:15:54,453 --> 00:15:57,873 You know what? I'm done with this. Ally, you go. 255 00:15:57,873 --> 00:15:59,875 Okay. 256 00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:04,463 Go, go, go, go. 257 00:16:10,052 --> 00:16:11,053 Oh! 258 00:16:11,053 --> 00:16:13,422 Wow, look at that, nine. 259 00:16:13,422 --> 00:16:15,424 I drew myself. Game over. 260 00:16:15,424 --> 00:16:17,392 Wait. A one. Is this yours? 261 00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:20,596 Uh... Oh, my God. 262 00:16:20,596 --> 00:16:22,064 You're at 91. 263 00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:24,566 No! I'm at nine! 264 00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:26,568 You're at 19. 265 00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:27,735 KATIE: Nineteen! 266 00:16:31,190 --> 00:16:32,574 Hello, friend. 267 00:16:32,574 --> 00:16:34,525 Fine, I admit it. I'm at 19, 268 00:16:35,027 --> 00:16:37,529 almost twice the national average. It's bad! 269 00:16:37,529 --> 00:16:41,032 And look at this, there's even a whole article in Marie Claire about it. 270 00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:42,501 I thought that playing this game 271 00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:44,336 would make me feel better about my number, 272 00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:46,705 but now I think the homeless lady on the train was right. 273 00:16:46,705 --> 00:16:47,706 It's high! 274 00:16:47,706 --> 00:16:49,841 Apparently in America, 96% of women 275 00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:53,846 who have been with 20 or more lovers can't find a husband. 276 00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,797 It actually says 20? Mmm-hmm. 277 00:16:55,798 --> 00:16:57,049 Who cares? Who did that study anyway? 278 00:16:57,049 --> 00:16:59,434 The scientists over there at Marie Claire magazine? 279 00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:02,554 Hey, that magazine taught me how to orgasm. 280 00:17:02,554 --> 00:17:05,356 Actually, that study was conducted by Dr. Helen Fig, 281 00:17:05,724 --> 00:17:08,226 a postdoctoral fellow at Harvard University. 282 00:17:08,227 --> 00:17:09,394 Shit! 283 00:17:09,395 --> 00:17:11,397 I see it in my practice all the time. 284 00:17:11,397 --> 00:17:12,898 When you're too sexually available, 285 00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:14,399 it messes with your self-esteem. 286 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:18,404 Next thing you know, you're 45 with no self-respect, no husband, 287 00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:20,372 and no muscle tone in your pelvic floor. 288 00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:24,743 Okay. Well, that is not gonna happen to me. 289 00:17:24,743 --> 00:17:26,711 Harvard says that 20 is the limit. 290 00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:30,215 I'm at 19, so that gives me one more chance. 291 00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:33,218 Okay. 292 00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:34,836 I'm gonna make a proclamation. 293 00:17:36,338 --> 00:17:38,340 Shut up! I'm proclamating. 294 00:17:39,842 --> 00:17:42,845 Okay. I am not gonna sleep with one more guy 295 00:17:42,845 --> 00:17:45,480 until I am sure he's the one. 296 00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:46,815 I may not have control over much, 297 00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:50,235 but I do have control over my pelvic floor. 298 00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:53,271 The next guy who vacations at casa esperanza 299 00:17:53,772 --> 00:17:55,273 is going to be my husband. 300 00:17:55,774 --> 00:17:56,658 All right. Yeah. 301 00:17:56,658 --> 00:18:00,161 To taking control of my own destiny. 302 00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:02,664 ALL: To taking control! 303 00:18:07,786 --> 00:18:11,122 To better decision-making and goal-following-through. 304 00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:14,926 To better decision-making and goals! 305 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:17,012 To 20! 306 00:18:17,012 --> 00:18:18,380 ALL: To 20! 307 00:19:00,672 --> 00:19:02,173 Oh, shit. 308 00:19:11,266 --> 00:19:14,269 Oh, no. Oh, my God. 309 00:19:18,607 --> 00:19:19,608 Hi. 310 00:19:20,108 --> 00:19:21,609 I slept with my ex-boss. 311 00:19:21,610 --> 00:19:22,410 Carol? 312 00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:24,780 No! The job I just got fired from. 313 00:19:24,780 --> 00:19:26,281 You got fired? 314 00:19:26,281 --> 00:19:27,665 This is your fault. 315 00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:30,335 When I tried to get you to leave the bar last night, you spit on me. 316 00:19:30,335 --> 00:19:31,669 But congratulations. 317 00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:34,172 You said 20 is your husband. Now you're at 20. 318 00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,674 Shut up. I have to admit 319 00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:38,126 that I just did not think it was gonna happen this quickly, 320 00:19:38,126 --> 00:19:39,544 but I'm so excited. 321 00:19:39,545 --> 00:19:42,047 Hey, Eddie, Ally's gonna get married. 322 00:19:42,548 --> 00:19:43,849 Great. He's thrilled. 323 00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:46,768 I know you're just being a bitch, but maybe he is my husband. 324 00:19:46,768 --> 00:19:50,138 Maybe it's fate. Now we've got a great story to tell our grandkids. 325 00:19:52,975 --> 00:19:55,978 I don't know why I never considered him before. 326 00:20:02,985 --> 00:20:04,786 He's not my husband. 327 00:20:10,409 --> 00:20:11,910 Morning. Morning. 328 00:20:12,411 --> 00:20:13,211 Hey, you're out of toilet paper. 329 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:14,129 Okay. 330 00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:15,631 Oh, did you make coffee? 331 00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:18,000 No. There's a Starbucks on your way to the T. 332 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:21,003 Oh, that's okay. Did you get the newspaper? 333 00:20:21,003 --> 00:20:22,004 No, no, I don't get that. 334 00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:27,092 Morning, 6-C. That's not mine. 335 00:20:27,092 --> 00:20:30,095 Okay. I locked myself out of my apartment. 336 00:20:30,095 --> 00:20:32,597 My keys and wallet, everything, it's over there. 337 00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:33,482 Can I use your phone? 338 00:20:33,932 --> 00:20:36,234 Sure, of course, let me just get that. 339 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,603 Hey, Roger, why don't we talk later? 340 00:20:37,603 --> 00:20:40,522 Because I think 6-A really needs my help. 341 00:20:40,522 --> 00:20:42,023 Colin. Hi. 342 00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:43,825 Nice to meet you. Yeah. 343 00:20:47,446 --> 00:20:48,747 So, 344 00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:51,499 how about some dinner tonight? 345 00:20:53,001 --> 00:20:54,869 Tonight, tonight? Mmm-hmm. 346 00:20:55,370 --> 00:20:57,872 Oh, we have that tenants' meeting tonight. 347 00:20:59,007 --> 00:21:01,509 Oh! That's right. Tenants' meeting. 348 00:21:03,545 --> 00:21:06,764 Oh, we're trying to get this very loud bird evicted. 349 00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:11,970 But why don't I call you later and we'll figure out 350 00:21:11,970 --> 00:21:16,474 maybe another time that we can get together. 351 00:21:16,475 --> 00:21:17,309 Okay. 352 00:21:27,035 --> 00:21:28,319 ALLY: Bye. 353 00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:37,212 Hi, I'm Roger. 354 00:21:37,212 --> 00:21:39,214 Hey, do you think the woman coming out of your apartment 355 00:21:39,214 --> 00:21:41,716 could have helped you with the "being locked out" problem? 356 00:21:44,636 --> 00:21:46,137 Okay. 357 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:49,141 Uh, I had a little situation that I needed to get out of, 358 00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:51,226 not unlike your situation here, so I... 359 00:21:51,226 --> 00:21:53,228 Lied to her, then lied to me? 360 00:21:53,228 --> 00:21:56,264 I look at it as trying to avoid hurt feelings. 361 00:21:57,766 --> 00:21:58,566 Wow. 362 00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:00,485 This is pretty cool. Where'd you get this? 363 00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:01,936 I made it. 364 00:22:02,938 --> 00:22:03,939 No shit. 365 00:22:03,939 --> 00:22:04,940 Shit. 366 00:22:04,940 --> 00:22:06,691 Listen, I don't want to have anything to do 367 00:22:06,692 --> 00:22:09,578 with your crusade to sleep with every woman in Boston, okay? 368 00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:11,246 They're kind of like my sisters. 369 00:22:11,246 --> 00:22:13,498 Wow. I thought you'd be cooler than this. 370 00:22:13,498 --> 00:22:15,333 I saw that toast you made on YouTube. 371 00:22:15,334 --> 00:22:16,835 Seemed like you had a good sense of humor. 372 00:22:16,835 --> 00:22:19,954 Those bitches put my toast up on YouTube? 373 00:22:19,955 --> 00:22:21,456 How did you see it already? 374 00:22:21,456 --> 00:22:24,008 I got everybody in the building on Google Alert. 375 00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:27,045 I come from a family of cops, it's in my nature to dig up dirt. 376 00:22:27,045 --> 00:22:29,881 Guy in 4-D tried to marry his dog. 377 00:22:29,881 --> 00:22:31,299 No! Bandit? 378 00:22:31,299 --> 00:22:32,800 Oh, yeah. 379 00:22:32,801 --> 00:22:37,305 All right, well, looks like the coast is clear. 380 00:22:37,305 --> 00:22:39,307 Thank you. You're a peach. 381 00:22:39,307 --> 00:22:40,141 You're a pig. 382 00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:47,366 Mmm. 383 00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:51,953 This is good. 384 00:22:51,953 --> 00:22:55,539 Okay, okay, that's enough. I think the idea is just to taste them. 385 00:22:56,041 --> 00:22:58,043 Why? Nobody's ever gonna see me naked again. 386 00:22:58,043 --> 00:22:59,044 I might as well enjoy myself. 387 00:22:59,044 --> 00:23:02,547 Yeah, like you're really gonna be celibate. 388 00:23:02,547 --> 00:23:05,550 I don't have a choice. I said I was gonna stop at 20, 389 00:23:05,550 --> 00:23:09,053 and now, thanks to that finger-smelling fuck, I'm at 20. 390 00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:11,056 Just promise me you're not gonna put me at the singles' table 391 00:23:11,556 --> 00:23:13,891 with Sheila and her mom. Please. 392 00:23:13,892 --> 00:23:16,394 Seating is really complicated. 393 00:23:16,395 --> 00:23:17,896 Oh, my God. 394 00:23:19,898 --> 00:23:21,900 Wait. 395 00:23:21,900 --> 00:23:23,518 Does that guy look familiar to you? 396 00:23:23,518 --> 00:23:24,902 No. 397 00:23:26,354 --> 00:23:27,855 Oh, shit! 398 00:23:27,856 --> 00:23:29,858 What? 399 00:23:29,858 --> 00:23:33,361 That's Disgusting Donald! I dated him. 400 00:23:34,863 --> 00:23:35,864 Did I ever meet him? 401 00:23:35,864 --> 00:23:37,365 No! Nobody did. 402 00:23:39,367 --> 00:23:42,503 He's the reason I learned to cook. 403 00:23:42,504 --> 00:23:46,508 We have nothing to eat! Honey, let's go out tonight. 404 00:23:48,009 --> 00:23:52,013 I don't know. There's just so many people out there. 405 00:23:52,013 --> 00:23:53,514 Come on. I want to try 406 00:23:53,515 --> 00:23:55,517 the new Korean barbecue place everyone's talking about. 407 00:23:55,517 --> 00:23:58,019 I can make Korean barbecue. Easy. What do we need? 408 00:23:58,019 --> 00:24:01,188 Uh, a table with a grill built into it. 409 00:24:01,189 --> 00:24:05,193 That guy doesn't look disgusting at all. He's actually kind of cute. 410 00:24:05,193 --> 00:24:06,694 I know, but I really think it's him. 411 00:24:07,195 --> 00:24:09,564 All right, well, go say hi and see. 412 00:24:14,786 --> 00:24:15,787 Mmm. 413 00:24:22,627 --> 00:24:24,128 Ally? 414 00:24:24,129 --> 00:24:25,296 Donald? 415 00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:26,298 Oh, my gosh. 416 00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:27,299 It is you. Hi. 417 00:24:27,799 --> 00:24:32,086 Hi. I can't believe it. I cannot believe it. 418 00:24:32,420 --> 00:24:33,921 Yeah, well... 419 00:24:36,424 --> 00:24:39,677 Oh, Ally, please meet my fiancee, Cara. 420 00:24:39,678 --> 00:24:41,062 Hi. This is Ally. 421 00:24:41,062 --> 00:24:42,012 Nice to meet you. 422 00:24:42,013 --> 00:24:43,097 You, too. 423 00:24:43,098 --> 00:24:47,569 Wow. So, how did you guys meet? 424 00:24:48,937 --> 00:24:51,489 At a conference. At a conference. 425 00:24:51,490 --> 00:24:53,492 Can you believe it? She's a rocket scientist. 426 00:24:53,492 --> 00:24:55,243 No, I'm not. Yes, you are. 427 00:24:55,243 --> 00:24:58,246 I'm actually just an engineer, but he loves to say that. 428 00:24:58,246 --> 00:24:59,413 You know, I'm not the typical... 429 00:24:59,414 --> 00:25:01,416 I get it. 430 00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:03,918 Ally and I are old friends. 431 00:25:05,871 --> 00:25:07,372 What are you doing here? 432 00:25:08,874 --> 00:25:11,877 Oh, I'm just tasting some cake 433 00:25:12,377 --> 00:25:14,796 for my wedding. 434 00:25:14,796 --> 00:25:16,597 Oh! I'm marrying a scientist, too. 435 00:25:17,966 --> 00:25:20,768 Yeah, he doesn't look smart either. 436 00:25:20,769 --> 00:25:22,270 I'm here with my sister 437 00:25:22,270 --> 00:25:25,606 because he's up in the North Pole 438 00:25:25,607 --> 00:25:27,609 dealing with the whole icecap situation. 439 00:25:28,610 --> 00:25:29,777 Oh. Yeah. 440 00:25:29,778 --> 00:25:32,363 He's probably gonna fix it. 441 00:25:32,364 --> 00:25:34,366 I can't believe that he said that we were just friends. 442 00:25:34,866 --> 00:25:35,867 Like I was the embarrassment! 443 00:25:36,284 --> 00:25:38,569 He had man boobs, big hairy ones. 444 00:25:38,570 --> 00:25:40,071 God! I can't believe it's the same guy. 445 00:25:40,071 --> 00:25:42,073 He looks so good now. He even looks taller. 446 00:25:42,073 --> 00:25:43,574 A lot of men get better with age. 447 00:25:43,575 --> 00:25:46,077 I mean, you said it yourself, Eddie used to be a total douche. 448 00:25:46,077 --> 00:25:47,545 People change. 449 00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:50,999 You're right. 450 00:25:50,999 --> 00:25:52,250 Daisy, you're a genius. 451 00:25:52,250 --> 00:25:53,968 I don't have to be celibate or go over 20. 452 00:25:54,386 --> 00:25:55,670 What do you mean? 453 00:25:55,670 --> 00:25:58,673 Donald can't be my only ex who's gotten better with time. 454 00:25:58,673 --> 00:26:00,391 Okay. 455 00:26:01,092 --> 00:26:02,309 Love you. 456 00:26:14,105 --> 00:26:15,106 Right. 457 00:26:21,246 --> 00:26:22,914 Okay. Huh! 458 00:26:22,914 --> 00:26:24,665 Jake Adams' dad. 459 00:26:24,666 --> 00:26:25,783 Jake Adams' Facebook. 460 00:26:27,535 --> 00:26:28,953 Okay. 461 00:26:29,371 --> 00:26:30,672 Jake Adams III. 462 00:26:31,039 --> 00:26:32,790 No, Jake Adams IV. 463 00:26:33,174 --> 00:26:36,510 Oh, forget it. All right, moving on, for now. 464 00:26:38,430 --> 00:26:40,515 What do we have next? 465 00:26:40,515 --> 00:26:42,517 Mike Miller. 466 00:26:43,518 --> 00:26:45,102 Eleven million results? 467 00:26:45,937 --> 00:26:47,438 Holy shit! 468 00:26:48,723 --> 00:26:52,226 From Cresskill, New Jersey. 469 00:26:52,727 --> 00:26:55,529 Eight million results! What the fuck? 470 00:26:55,947 --> 00:26:57,949 Mike Miller from Cresskill, New Jersey, 471 00:26:57,949 --> 00:26:59,784 obsessed with Bruce Springsteen, 472 00:27:00,235 --> 00:27:02,620 big balls, tiny penis? 473 00:27:05,290 --> 00:27:07,875 What? No! God! 474 00:27:07,876 --> 00:27:09,627 Oh, God, stop it! No! 475 00:27:15,917 --> 00:27:16,918 AUTOMATED VOICE: Goodbye. 476 00:27:36,021 --> 00:27:37,522 Balls. 477 00:27:39,024 --> 00:27:41,326 ♪ You know, I swing them left and I swing them right ♪ 478 00:27:41,660 --> 00:27:43,662 COLIN: That's not my fault. 479 00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:47,832 I told you not to put it there. 480 00:27:49,951 --> 00:27:51,369 Under the bed. 481 00:27:52,370 --> 00:27:53,170 Hi. 482 00:27:53,588 --> 00:27:55,089 Morning, 6-C. 483 00:27:55,590 --> 00:27:57,708 Hey, um, I see that you have company, 484 00:27:57,709 --> 00:28:00,712 but I just want to ask you a really quick question. 485 00:28:00,712 --> 00:28:02,714 Remember how you said you were good at digging up dirt? 486 00:28:02,714 --> 00:28:06,517 Do you think that maybe I could pay you to find some people for me? 487 00:28:06,518 --> 00:28:08,019 Sweetheart, if I'm gonna help you, 488 00:28:08,019 --> 00:28:09,970 you got to give me more info than that. 489 00:28:09,971 --> 00:28:12,223 Just some guys that I've dated. 490 00:28:12,724 --> 00:28:14,942 Oh, you have herpes. That's not a fun call to make. 491 00:28:14,943 --> 00:28:16,444 No, I... 492 00:28:16,444 --> 00:28:17,945 I don't know. I just... 493 00:28:17,946 --> 00:28:21,449 I think that one of these guys might be worth a second look. 494 00:28:31,242 --> 00:28:33,244 No. I refuse to be a part of this type of crazy. 495 00:28:33,745 --> 00:28:34,746 I don't know why these guys broke up with you, 496 00:28:35,246 --> 00:28:36,997 and I need to protect them. 497 00:28:36,998 --> 00:28:39,884 Wait. Why do you assume they all broke up with me? 498 00:28:39,884 --> 00:28:40,885 Because you seem like the type of girl 499 00:28:41,386 --> 00:28:42,920 who tries to make a bad thing work. 500 00:28:43,421 --> 00:28:44,889 Some people call that optimism. 501 00:28:44,889 --> 00:28:46,891 I call it crazy. 502 00:28:46,891 --> 00:28:49,393 I'm sorry I asked. I knew you'd be a jerk. 503 00:28:49,394 --> 00:28:51,979 Don't be mad. It doesn't mean I won't sleep with you. 504 00:28:51,980 --> 00:28:53,481 Ugh! Gross. 505 00:29:09,414 --> 00:29:12,917 Colin! Colin, open up! Colin! 506 00:29:13,918 --> 00:29:16,420 Colin, we got to go! Mom fell in the shower. 507 00:29:16,421 --> 00:29:18,790 What? Yeah, she fell in the shower! 508 00:29:18,790 --> 00:29:20,291 Hi. 509 00:29:20,291 --> 00:29:24,295 She's at the hospital. She's all wet. 510 00:29:25,296 --> 00:29:26,797 We got to get out of here! 511 00:29:26,798 --> 00:29:29,300 They're drying her off right now, as we speak. 512 00:29:29,300 --> 00:29:32,720 I'm so sorry. You seem like a really awesome person. 513 00:29:33,221 --> 00:29:35,223 I'm sure he's gonna call you, but we got to go! 514 00:29:35,223 --> 00:29:37,475 Come on! She's hurt! 515 00:29:41,362 --> 00:29:42,863 Very impressive. 516 00:29:42,864 --> 00:29:44,866 Hmm. 517 00:29:44,866 --> 00:29:48,569 You help me track down my exes, I'll help you escape yours. 518 00:29:48,570 --> 00:29:51,072 What happened to protecting your sisters? 519 00:29:51,072 --> 00:29:54,291 If those girls can't see you coming, they deserve what they get. 520 00:29:54,292 --> 00:29:56,160 Wow. Jesus. 521 00:29:56,161 --> 00:29:58,913 This place really goes on and on, doesn't it? 522 00:30:00,215 --> 00:30:02,717 And you can use my apartment to hide in. 523 00:30:04,969 --> 00:30:06,470 Here you go. Thank you. 524 00:30:06,471 --> 00:30:08,973 Thanks, Diana. Okay. 525 00:30:08,973 --> 00:30:10,975 So, here's all the info I have on the guys. 526 00:30:11,476 --> 00:30:12,894 Names, most recent phone numbers... 527 00:30:13,394 --> 00:30:15,262 Hey! Addresses. 528 00:30:15,763 --> 00:30:19,566 Find out who's alive, single, and still on the East Coast, okay? 529 00:30:19,567 --> 00:30:22,152 I'll take a car or a train, but not a plane. 530 00:30:22,153 --> 00:30:25,656 I prioritized the list, so start at the top. 531 00:30:25,657 --> 00:30:28,159 Jake Adams. Is that the one that got away? 532 00:30:28,159 --> 00:30:30,161 Well, something like that. 533 00:30:30,161 --> 00:30:31,662 His dad's name is also Jake Adams 534 00:30:31,663 --> 00:30:33,164 and he owns, like, half of Boston. 535 00:30:33,164 --> 00:30:35,082 So, he should be pretty easy to find. 536 00:30:35,083 --> 00:30:36,784 The Jake Adams? 537 00:30:36,784 --> 00:30:37,785 Well, he may not be hard to find, 538 00:30:37,785 --> 00:30:39,503 but I guarantee he's gonna be hard to get to. 539 00:30:39,504 --> 00:30:41,873 You don't have a phone number or address or anything like that? 540 00:30:41,873 --> 00:30:43,875 If I had that, I wouldn't need you. 541 00:30:43,875 --> 00:30:47,378 I do know that Tom Piper is on the fast track to becoming a senator. 542 00:30:47,378 --> 00:30:49,880 Oh, and move John Kimble up to number three. 543 00:30:49,881 --> 00:30:50,882 He probably still works at Starbucks, 544 00:30:50,882 --> 00:30:52,967 but he's the best sex I've ever had. 545 00:30:52,967 --> 00:30:54,852 You haven't had sex with me. 546 00:30:54,853 --> 00:30:57,856 No, but I have had sex with other overly confident struggling musicians. 547 00:30:57,856 --> 00:30:58,857 So, I'm good. 548 00:30:59,357 --> 00:31:00,858 What makes you think I'm a musician? 549 00:31:00,859 --> 00:31:03,862 Guitar in your apartment, you dress like a horny teenager, 550 00:31:03,862 --> 00:31:06,231 I paid for that sandwich. Struggling musician. 551 00:31:06,231 --> 00:31:08,233 So, I don't get it. Why go through all this trouble? 552 00:31:08,233 --> 00:31:09,033 Why not just find a new guy? 553 00:31:09,450 --> 00:31:11,318 No. No new guys. 554 00:31:11,786 --> 00:31:13,287 New is always better than old. 555 00:31:13,288 --> 00:31:14,789 Of course you'd say that. 556 00:31:14,789 --> 00:31:17,708 I bet the longest relationship you've ever had is with that sandwich. 557 00:31:23,915 --> 00:31:28,052 ♪ What's it like for you to fall asleep with all your thoughts? 558 00:31:30,388 --> 00:31:34,642 ♪ Do you wake up blue? Do you just sleep it off? ♪ 559 00:31:34,926 --> 00:31:36,761 That's pretty. I know. 560 00:31:36,761 --> 00:31:39,980 Are you really gonna let us look good at your wedding? 561 00:31:39,981 --> 00:31:43,985 No. That's Mom's dress. Those are the bridesmaids' dresses. 562 00:31:45,486 --> 00:31:46,737 Sorry. Mom picked them out, 563 00:31:46,738 --> 00:31:48,573 and I'm trying to keep her happy 564 00:31:48,573 --> 00:31:50,241 because I invited Dad to the wedding. 565 00:31:50,241 --> 00:31:51,742 Have you told Mom? 566 00:31:51,743 --> 00:31:53,111 No, not yet. 567 00:31:55,163 --> 00:31:57,114 Oh, wow! 568 00:31:57,115 --> 00:31:58,749 I think this is it, right? 569 00:32:01,336 --> 00:32:03,204 It's beautiful. 570 00:32:03,204 --> 00:32:05,206 Perfect. I love it. 571 00:32:05,206 --> 00:32:07,458 That is a lot of poof. 572 00:32:07,458 --> 00:32:09,259 The poof is what I like about it. 573 00:32:09,260 --> 00:32:11,595 But don't you want to have wedding night sex with your dress still on? 574 00:32:11,596 --> 00:32:13,097 I don't know. Do I? 575 00:32:13,097 --> 00:32:14,798 Yeah, naughty bride, you do. 576 00:32:14,799 --> 00:32:16,801 I'm just concerned that with all those layers 577 00:32:16,801 --> 00:32:18,302 he's not gonna be able to find your vagina. 578 00:32:18,803 --> 00:32:19,804 Good point. 579 00:32:19,804 --> 00:32:20,805 I mean, forget about 69. 580 00:32:20,805 --> 00:32:24,308 She's not gonna 69. 581 00:32:24,309 --> 00:32:25,310 Why not? 582 00:32:25,310 --> 00:32:27,111 Because she's a grown-up. 583 00:32:27,111 --> 00:32:28,979 Sixty-nines are for when you're 17 584 00:32:28,980 --> 00:32:30,982 and you're trying to cram everything in at once 585 00:32:30,982 --> 00:32:32,483 before your parents get home. 586 00:32:32,483 --> 00:32:33,984 Thank you. 587 00:32:33,985 --> 00:32:35,486 Matt is always trying to do that, 588 00:32:35,486 --> 00:32:37,704 and I say, "Let's just take turns. 589 00:32:37,705 --> 00:32:39,707 "What's the rush?" 590 00:32:39,707 --> 00:32:41,709 Oh, my God. He found Dave Hansen. 591 00:32:41,709 --> 00:32:43,911 Wait. Are you tracking down all your ex-boyfriends 592 00:32:43,911 --> 00:32:46,413 so you don't have to go over 20? 593 00:32:46,414 --> 00:32:47,665 What? Think about it. 594 00:32:47,665 --> 00:32:49,500 If it works out with one of these guys, 595 00:32:49,500 --> 00:32:51,502 that means a whole period of my life won't have been a waste. 596 00:32:51,803 --> 00:32:53,387 Yeah, but it didn't work out with any of those guys 597 00:32:53,671 --> 00:32:55,472 because they were all wrong for you. 598 00:32:55,473 --> 00:32:58,392 Dave Hansen. Isn't that the magician you dated? 599 00:33:04,098 --> 00:33:06,433 I believe this is yours. 600 00:33:14,108 --> 00:33:16,110 I believe these are yours. 601 00:33:20,698 --> 00:33:23,083 Wow! You work fast! 602 00:33:23,084 --> 00:33:25,920 This one was easy. He has his own website, 603 00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:27,504 supersexymagic.com. 604 00:33:29,507 --> 00:33:31,675 Well, I'm sure I'll be able to find him. 605 00:33:31,676 --> 00:33:34,762 So, you can scoot and skedaddle. 606 00:33:34,762 --> 00:33:36,096 And miss the show? 607 00:33:43,388 --> 00:33:44,772 Okay. 608 00:33:47,975 --> 00:33:50,477 Nope, I'm done here. 609 00:33:50,478 --> 00:33:51,695 That's it? 610 00:33:53,815 --> 00:33:56,317 Why? Because he's a bartender? 611 00:33:56,317 --> 00:33:58,319 No, because he's still a bartender. 612 00:33:58,319 --> 00:34:00,321 He's exactly where he was nine years ago, 613 00:34:00,321 --> 00:34:04,825 an out-of-work magician who sleeps till noon, bartends till 3:00, 614 00:34:04,826 --> 00:34:06,828 and goes around pulling money out of people. 615 00:34:06,828 --> 00:34:08,329 He keeps your quarter, by the way. 616 00:34:08,329 --> 00:34:11,832 So what? You could have had some fun for old times' sake. 617 00:34:11,833 --> 00:34:13,835 No. You know, even if it didn't raise my number, 618 00:34:13,835 --> 00:34:16,337 I can't afford to waste any more time on guys like him. 619 00:34:16,838 --> 00:34:18,339 Wait, wait, wait. That's what this is about? 620 00:34:18,339 --> 00:34:20,841 You don't want to raise your number! 621 00:34:20,842 --> 00:34:23,344 That's why you won't sleep with me. 622 00:34:23,344 --> 00:34:26,847 No, there's a lot of reasons why I won't sleep with you. 623 00:34:27,348 --> 00:34:28,766 No, there's not. 624 00:34:28,766 --> 00:34:31,268 I don't know why girls care so much about their number anyway. 625 00:34:31,269 --> 00:34:34,905 You guys all have this ideal girl in your minds 626 00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:38,910 and if our number gets too high, we can't be that girl. 627 00:34:38,910 --> 00:34:41,412 The ideal girl. Tell me about her. 628 00:34:41,412 --> 00:34:43,914 You know, you can take her home to the family, 629 00:34:43,915 --> 00:34:45,917 she's smart, but not smarter than you, 630 00:34:45,917 --> 00:34:48,419 and she bakes apple pies with your mom 631 00:34:48,419 --> 00:34:49,920 and plays catch with your handicapped sister, 632 00:34:50,421 --> 00:34:52,423 but then when you're alone, she's takes off her glasses 633 00:34:52,423 --> 00:34:54,925 and puts on a vinyl cat suit and fucks you sideways! 634 00:34:54,926 --> 00:34:57,428 That girl doesn't exist. If she did, I'd be sleeping with her. 635 00:34:57,428 --> 00:34:58,929 And what kind of guy cares about 636 00:34:58,930 --> 00:35:01,432 how many people you've slept with anyway? 637 00:35:01,432 --> 00:35:02,933 Decent guys. 638 00:35:26,374 --> 00:35:29,710 Hey! What are you doing? 639 00:35:31,129 --> 00:35:32,130 Waiting for 640 00:35:33,631 --> 00:35:35,132 Amy to leave. 641 00:35:35,133 --> 00:35:38,052 You hooked up with someone last night after I left you? 642 00:35:38,052 --> 00:35:40,304 Hooking up sounds so crass. 643 00:35:40,304 --> 00:35:43,307 We shared a romantic experience. 644 00:35:43,307 --> 00:35:45,309 And then I told her I had an early dentist appointment, 645 00:35:45,309 --> 00:35:48,312 and I'm hiding on your couch till she leaves. 646 00:35:48,312 --> 00:35:52,649 Well, maybe you could use this downtime to do some actual work. 647 00:35:53,151 --> 00:35:55,903 I am working. I set up a Facebook account for you. 648 00:35:56,270 --> 00:35:59,606 I don't want to be on Facebook. What picture did you use? 649 00:35:59,607 --> 00:36:01,492 The one I just took of you sleeping. 650 00:36:01,492 --> 00:36:02,993 I think this is gonna be better. 651 00:36:02,994 --> 00:36:04,662 While you're looking for them, they can be looking for you. 652 00:36:04,662 --> 00:36:06,413 Fine, but I refuse to tweet. 653 00:36:06,414 --> 00:36:07,415 Ooh! 654 00:36:07,915 --> 00:36:10,918 Number 14, Evan Slater, has friend-requested you. 655 00:36:10,918 --> 00:36:12,703 He's tagged you in a photo 656 00:36:12,703 --> 00:36:16,289 and he's suggested you become a fan of Tito's Tacos. 657 00:36:16,290 --> 00:36:18,292 Ooh. I liked Evan. 658 00:36:18,292 --> 00:36:20,794 Yeah, and who doesn't like tacos? 659 00:36:20,795 --> 00:36:22,680 He's adorable. 660 00:36:25,850 --> 00:36:28,352 And so are his wife and kids. 661 00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:31,221 Well, he clearly doesn't understand what Facebook is for. 662 00:36:31,222 --> 00:36:33,440 You know, if you don't start taking this job more seriously, 663 00:36:33,441 --> 00:36:35,943 you're fired from using my apartment. 664 00:36:36,944 --> 00:36:37,945 Where's my coffee pot? 665 00:36:37,945 --> 00:36:39,896 I broke it. 666 00:36:39,897 --> 00:36:41,698 If you were on Twitter, you'd know that already. 667 00:36:46,537 --> 00:36:48,956 You owe me $19.95. 668 00:36:48,956 --> 00:36:50,958 How about I pay you back in Chinese food? 669 00:36:50,958 --> 00:36:52,242 I ordered Charlie Chiang. 670 00:36:52,243 --> 00:36:54,044 Did you get the itty-bitty spare ribs? 671 00:36:55,546 --> 00:36:57,047 Okay, I'll be there in five minutes. 672 00:36:58,499 --> 00:36:59,333 Hey. 673 00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:01,301 Hey, come on in. 674 00:37:08,809 --> 00:37:10,844 Wow. Yeah. 675 00:37:10,845 --> 00:37:12,847 Dad didn't take me to too many ball games, 676 00:37:12,847 --> 00:37:15,316 but we did go on a lot of stakeouts. 677 00:37:15,316 --> 00:37:16,684 It's impressive. 678 00:37:19,687 --> 00:37:21,989 COLIN: Okay, so Mike Miller and Eric Hamilton are married. 679 00:37:21,989 --> 00:37:25,242 So is Valerio, the guy from Italy. 680 00:37:25,243 --> 00:37:26,611 Ew. Plum sauce? 681 00:37:26,611 --> 00:37:28,112 Yes, please, but no mustard. 682 00:37:28,112 --> 00:37:30,581 No mustard? Mustard's the best part. 683 00:37:30,581 --> 00:37:32,916 Not if you hate mustard. 684 00:37:32,917 --> 00:37:34,785 Anything on Jake Adams yet? 685 00:37:34,785 --> 00:37:36,286 No. I'm sorry. 686 00:37:36,287 --> 00:37:38,789 I told you, rich people are very good at protecting their privacy, 687 00:37:38,789 --> 00:37:40,757 but just be patient, we'll find him. 688 00:37:40,758 --> 00:37:42,760 What about Simon Forester? 689 00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:44,762 He's separated and his house just went on the market, 690 00:37:44,762 --> 00:37:47,264 so I'm guessing a divorce is right around the corner. 691 00:37:47,765 --> 00:37:50,267 Huh. Okay. Let's try Simon. 692 00:37:50,268 --> 00:37:51,936 Simon. 693 00:37:51,936 --> 00:37:55,723 Okay, so what's my plan? Guy getting a divorce. 694 00:37:56,557 --> 00:37:57,307 Divorce... 695 00:37:59,644 --> 00:38:01,145 I could find out who his lawyer is 696 00:38:01,145 --> 00:38:03,113 and get a job there as his assistant. 697 00:38:03,114 --> 00:38:07,401 Or we keep it simple and you just go look at his open house. 698 00:38:09,203 --> 00:38:10,204 Huh. 699 00:38:10,204 --> 00:38:12,155 The challenge with a newly divorced guy 700 00:38:12,156 --> 00:38:13,657 is that he's just looking to have fun. 701 00:38:13,658 --> 00:38:15,660 What you got to do is give him the best sex of his life. 702 00:38:15,660 --> 00:38:18,579 He can't realize that he's falling in love with you until it's too late. 703 00:38:18,713 --> 00:38:22,466 So, I'm covering up the fact that I'm marriage material with amazing sex? 704 00:38:22,466 --> 00:38:24,801 Yeah. How's your blowjob? 705 00:38:24,802 --> 00:38:26,136 What? 706 00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:28,255 Relax. This is business. I'm trying to help you. 707 00:38:28,255 --> 00:38:30,757 Well, if you must know, it's pretty good. 708 00:38:30,758 --> 00:38:32,760 It's the hand job I haven't quite figured out yet. 709 00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:36,146 Well, I guarantee you he has, so skip it. 710 00:38:36,147 --> 00:38:38,649 All right, I guess this is it. 711 00:38:38,649 --> 00:38:39,650 Ready? Yeah. 712 00:38:41,652 --> 00:38:45,155 This is nice. Simon's doing well. 713 00:38:45,156 --> 00:38:47,658 I wonder where the realtor is. 714 00:38:48,159 --> 00:38:49,160 Hello? 715 00:38:54,448 --> 00:38:55,832 Is that... 716 00:38:57,335 --> 00:38:58,836 What the... 717 00:38:58,836 --> 00:39:00,120 Donald! Ally! 718 00:39:00,121 --> 00:39:01,789 What the fuck are you doing in my home? 719 00:39:02,790 --> 00:39:04,291 Uh... 720 00:39:04,291 --> 00:39:08,545 The door was open, so I just assumed this was the open house. 721 00:39:08,546 --> 00:39:12,550 No. No. This is my house. You're in my home. 722 00:39:13,050 --> 00:39:13,967 Oh, well... 723 00:39:15,970 --> 00:39:19,473 My fiance, Pierre, and I are looking to buy a place 724 00:39:20,474 --> 00:39:23,477 when he gets back from the North Pole. 725 00:39:23,477 --> 00:39:26,897 Hey, Ally, can I go ahead and get that picture back from you? 726 00:39:28,315 --> 00:39:31,318 Oh, I'm sorry. Oops. 727 00:39:46,634 --> 00:39:48,636 That was Disgusting Donald. 728 00:39:48,636 --> 00:39:49,637 He didn't look disgusting. 729 00:39:49,637 --> 00:39:52,423 He was disgusting when I dated him, okay? 730 00:39:56,727 --> 00:39:58,095 Oh, my God, there's Simon. 731 00:39:58,562 --> 00:40:01,565 He looks good for a guy going through a divorce. 732 00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:10,774 Before you take my order, 733 00:40:10,775 --> 00:40:15,279 I do feel compelled to explain why a single, straight man 734 00:40:15,279 --> 00:40:17,781 is having high tea by himself on Beacon Hill. 735 00:40:17,782 --> 00:40:19,784 Well, um, 736 00:40:19,784 --> 00:40:23,287 I'm just so homesick that I'd kill for anything English. 737 00:40:31,178 --> 00:40:33,180 Okay, so go. I can take it from here. 738 00:40:33,180 --> 00:40:34,514 Don't shove me. Get out of here. 739 00:40:34,515 --> 00:40:36,383 Don't shove me. 740 00:40:36,383 --> 00:40:38,935 Get out of here! Hey! I said don't shove me! 741 00:40:38,936 --> 00:40:40,220 Ally Darling? 742 00:40:41,439 --> 00:40:42,807 Is that you? 743 00:40:45,309 --> 00:40:47,277 Simon, I can't believe it. 744 00:40:48,312 --> 00:40:50,113 What are the chances? 745 00:40:51,782 --> 00:40:53,316 It's brilliant to see you. 746 00:40:53,317 --> 00:40:55,319 It is brilliant. 747 00:40:55,820 --> 00:41:00,324 Simon, this is my neighbor, Colin. But he has to go now. 748 00:41:00,324 --> 00:41:01,825 No, I don't. 749 00:41:01,826 --> 00:41:04,044 Pleasure. No, no, the pleasure's all mine. 750 00:41:05,412 --> 00:41:07,130 Wow. 751 00:41:07,131 --> 00:41:09,133 Wow. It's great to see... 752 00:41:09,133 --> 00:41:10,968 Did you look this good when we were dating? 753 00:41:10,968 --> 00:41:14,504 Oh, well, I had a fringe back then. 754 00:41:14,505 --> 00:41:17,007 That's bangs. "Fringe" is "bangs." 755 00:41:18,008 --> 00:41:19,009 Americans. 756 00:41:19,009 --> 00:41:20,510 Listen, they're showing my house, 757 00:41:20,511 --> 00:41:22,179 so I've got to disappear for an hour or so, 758 00:41:22,179 --> 00:41:23,513 but do you fancy grabbing a pint? 759 00:41:24,932 --> 00:41:26,266 Smashing. 760 00:41:27,234 --> 00:41:28,768 Cheerio, Colin. 761 00:41:28,769 --> 00:41:31,021 How are you fancying driving on the right? 762 00:41:31,906 --> 00:41:34,158 Cross Simon off the list. 763 00:41:34,942 --> 00:41:36,443 What happened? 764 00:41:36,443 --> 00:41:39,446 My British accent was a little rusty, and halfway through darts 765 00:41:39,446 --> 00:41:41,197 I started sounding like Eliza Doolittle. 766 00:41:43,701 --> 00:41:46,003 Don't take your eye off the board. 767 00:41:47,087 --> 00:41:51,341 No. Straight. Just... Higher. Better. 768 00:41:53,460 --> 00:41:57,464 Bloody 'ell! I'm rubbish at this. 769 00:42:02,303 --> 00:42:04,772 You were saying you got sacked. 770 00:42:05,272 --> 00:42:08,642 Yep. Losing me job wasn't the end of the world. 771 00:42:09,143 --> 00:42:11,145 Still got me mates and a roof over me 'ead. 772 00:42:11,145 --> 00:42:14,982 I don't need much, just a room somewhere, 773 00:42:14,982 --> 00:42:19,319 far away from the cold night air. 774 00:42:22,122 --> 00:42:24,124 And then when I tried to pull out of it, 775 00:42:24,124 --> 00:42:27,410 for some reason I panicked and went full Borat. 776 00:42:27,828 --> 00:42:31,331 So, I order another round? 777 00:42:33,334 --> 00:42:37,254 No. No, I think we better call it a night. 778 00:42:37,254 --> 00:42:41,758 Oh, no! I talk whole time. I know nothing about you. 779 00:42:45,062 --> 00:42:49,066 So, what's next for Svorgon? 780 00:42:54,021 --> 00:42:55,322 Svorgon? 781 00:42:55,322 --> 00:42:58,191 I turned into the Swedish Chef from The Muppets. 782 00:42:58,192 --> 00:42:59,193 He was my favorite. 783 00:42:59,193 --> 00:43:02,696 Okay. Who else we got? 784 00:43:06,367 --> 00:43:08,001 I thought we weren't allowed up here. 785 00:43:08,502 --> 00:43:09,503 Didn't you get that memo? 786 00:43:09,503 --> 00:43:11,288 I wrote that memo. 787 00:43:11,288 --> 00:43:12,289 It was getting kind of crowded, 788 00:43:12,790 --> 00:43:13,791 and my band and I practice up here. 789 00:43:14,291 --> 00:43:16,293 Where does your band play? 790 00:43:16,293 --> 00:43:18,295 Here, for now. 791 00:43:18,796 --> 00:43:21,298 My mom's friend is looking for a band for her son's bar mitzvah. 792 00:43:21,298 --> 00:43:24,301 No, thank you. We're not that kind of band. 793 00:43:24,301 --> 00:43:25,969 The kind that makes money? 794 00:43:26,470 --> 00:43:27,971 Let's drop it. 795 00:43:27,972 --> 00:43:30,190 We got 10 possibilities left. 796 00:43:30,190 --> 00:43:34,194 Jay from Club Med Turkoise. I'm trying, but I need more info. 797 00:43:34,194 --> 00:43:36,196 I'm sorry, it was spring break. 798 00:43:36,196 --> 00:43:38,198 Jay may not even be his real name. 799 00:43:38,198 --> 00:43:40,783 I'm certainly not Kelli with an "I." 800 00:43:40,784 --> 00:43:42,285 Barrett Ingold, lives in Miami. 801 00:43:42,786 --> 00:43:45,789 I know it's not geographically desirable, but he is a doctor now. 802 00:43:45,789 --> 00:43:47,707 Don't care. I hate Miami. 803 00:43:48,208 --> 00:43:49,209 I think too much sun makes people stupid. 804 00:43:50,928 --> 00:43:52,800 Okay. How do you feel about Denver? 805 00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:54,301 I found the mountain man, 806 00:43:54,302 --> 00:43:56,304 and that guy has got a caboose worth relocating for. 807 00:43:56,304 --> 00:43:59,307 Pass! He always wanted to breathe fresh air. 808 00:43:59,307 --> 00:44:00,308 Do you know how exhausting it was 809 00:44:00,308 --> 00:44:01,309 to pretend to enjoy the outdoors 810 00:44:01,809 --> 00:44:03,010 with that kind of enthusiasm? 811 00:44:03,010 --> 00:44:05,012 More exhausting than pretending to be British? 812 00:44:05,012 --> 00:44:06,563 I never had to wipe myself with a leaf 813 00:44:06,564 --> 00:44:07,565 when I was pretending to be British. 814 00:44:07,565 --> 00:44:10,234 Touche. What about Gerry Perry? 815 00:44:10,234 --> 00:44:12,019 He's a puppeteer, so he's single. 816 00:44:13,020 --> 00:44:15,022 I don't want to go out with Gerry Perry. 817 00:44:15,022 --> 00:44:17,024 Where's Jake Adams? 818 00:44:17,024 --> 00:44:18,525 In Noyaradougou. 819 00:44:18,526 --> 00:44:20,160 What? Where the hell's that? 820 00:44:20,161 --> 00:44:21,662 Africa. 821 00:44:21,662 --> 00:44:23,664 He runs his family's philanthropic foundation 822 00:44:23,664 --> 00:44:27,167 and he's overseeing the construction of a school there. 823 00:44:30,171 --> 00:44:32,590 Is he ever coming back? 824 00:44:32,590 --> 00:44:35,626 Eventually. In the meantime, I've got Gerry Perry. 825 00:44:35,626 --> 00:44:36,627 No! 826 00:44:38,596 --> 00:44:41,599 All right, so the puppet show starts at 2:00, and I'll meet you at the park. 827 00:44:42,099 --> 00:44:43,600 Okay. 828 00:44:43,601 --> 00:44:44,551 Hey, Colin. 829 00:44:44,552 --> 00:44:46,053 Yeah? 830 00:44:46,053 --> 00:44:48,438 Thank you for all your hard work, by the way. 831 00:44:48,939 --> 00:44:50,941 I really appreciate it. 832 00:44:50,941 --> 00:44:52,275 You do? 833 00:44:52,276 --> 00:44:54,111 Because sometimes, it's hard to tell. 834 00:44:55,029 --> 00:44:56,030 Really? 835 00:44:57,031 --> 00:44:58,282 Oh... 836 00:45:06,574 --> 00:45:08,042 What are you doing? 837 00:45:08,042 --> 00:45:10,544 Trying to end the night with a bang. 838 00:45:12,163 --> 00:45:13,664 You really can't hang out with a girl 839 00:45:13,664 --> 00:45:15,165 without sleeping with her, can you? 840 00:45:16,634 --> 00:45:19,637 Well, I can, it's just not that much fun. 841 00:45:23,641 --> 00:45:25,643 You're not on my list. 842 00:45:29,146 --> 00:45:32,149 You could just cross off the dead guy, 843 00:45:32,149 --> 00:45:34,601 put my name on there. 844 00:45:39,490 --> 00:45:41,325 GERRY AS PUPPET: Who did the poop? 845 00:45:41,325 --> 00:45:42,743 ALL: You did the poop! 846 00:45:43,244 --> 00:45:44,245 Hey. Hey. 847 00:45:46,247 --> 00:45:47,248 Whose kid is this? 848 00:45:47,248 --> 00:45:48,332 He's my nephew. 849 00:45:48,833 --> 00:45:50,334 If I'd shown up to the puppet show without a child, 850 00:45:50,334 --> 00:45:52,336 it might be creepy. 851 00:45:52,336 --> 00:45:53,337 Great. Huh. 852 00:45:53,337 --> 00:45:54,838 Can you say hi, Justin? 853 00:45:54,839 --> 00:45:55,840 Arr! 854 00:45:55,840 --> 00:45:57,341 He's a pirate. 855 00:45:57,341 --> 00:45:59,593 GERRY AS PUPPET: What are you talking about? 856 00:46:04,715 --> 00:46:05,716 All right, you're up. 857 00:46:06,717 --> 00:46:07,851 Great. 858 00:46:07,852 --> 00:46:08,853 Come on. 859 00:46:11,105 --> 00:46:12,606 Thanks, Gerry. 860 00:46:12,606 --> 00:46:14,441 You're welcome. 861 00:46:26,654 --> 00:46:28,489 Daisy home? 862 00:46:30,458 --> 00:46:31,959 No. 863 00:46:57,651 --> 00:46:59,986 So, when do you think Daisy will be home? 864 00:47:06,243 --> 00:47:07,744 Gerry? Ally? 865 00:47:07,745 --> 00:47:09,246 Oh, my God, what are you doing here? 866 00:47:09,246 --> 00:47:10,747 Hi. Oh, 867 00:47:10,748 --> 00:47:14,201 you know, I'm just babysitting for a friend. 868 00:47:14,201 --> 00:47:16,336 Ah, cool. So, you saw the magical show. 869 00:47:16,837 --> 00:47:19,589 Yeah! Wow, the kids, they just love it. 870 00:47:19,874 --> 00:47:21,876 That's just because I say "poop" a lot. 871 00:47:23,511 --> 00:47:24,512 Hey, so, 872 00:47:26,597 --> 00:47:27,965 recognize this bad boy? 873 00:47:27,965 --> 00:47:29,716 Hey there, Smart Alec. 874 00:47:29,717 --> 00:47:30,718 Hi. 875 00:47:33,687 --> 00:47:36,356 So, how are you? 876 00:47:36,357 --> 00:47:38,392 Quit being a pussy, and ask her about Daisy. 877 00:47:38,392 --> 00:47:41,445 What? Come on, man, don't be rude. 878 00:47:41,445 --> 00:47:44,731 You are rude. Sorry about that. 879 00:47:44,732 --> 00:47:47,735 That's okay. Uh... I'm great. 880 00:47:47,735 --> 00:47:50,487 Great, great. Well, you look great. 881 00:47:50,955 --> 00:47:53,123 Not as great as Daisy. 882 00:47:53,123 --> 00:47:54,491 Ignore him. 883 00:47:56,460 --> 00:47:58,462 Hey, but seriously, 884 00:47:58,462 --> 00:48:01,998 maybe we should exchange numbers, you know, and catch up. 885 00:48:02,499 --> 00:48:04,801 You know what? I think I'm all caught up. 886 00:48:04,802 --> 00:48:06,303 Cool! 887 00:48:06,303 --> 00:48:08,505 But it was really great running into you. 888 00:48:08,839 --> 00:48:10,340 Great running into you. 889 00:48:10,341 --> 00:48:11,842 No, it wasn't. 890 00:48:11,842 --> 00:48:12,843 Big mouth. 891 00:48:13,344 --> 00:48:15,813 Okay, I'll see you around. 892 00:48:19,817 --> 00:48:21,318 Hey, Daisy. 893 00:48:21,819 --> 00:48:22,820 Hey. 894 00:48:35,866 --> 00:48:37,117 Daisy... 895 00:48:43,007 --> 00:48:46,010 I can't believe I slept with that guy. 896 00:48:46,010 --> 00:48:48,012 Where's Justin? 897 00:48:48,012 --> 00:48:49,513 This is Justin. 898 00:48:50,014 --> 00:48:51,015 That's not Justin. 899 00:48:52,466 --> 00:48:54,384 What's the matter with you? 900 00:48:54,385 --> 00:48:55,386 Didn't your mom teach you to not walk off with strangers? 901 00:48:55,886 --> 00:48:57,387 What's the matter with you? 902 00:48:57,388 --> 00:48:59,390 You didn't realize you had a completely different human being? 903 00:48:59,390 --> 00:49:00,858 Justin! 904 00:49:00,858 --> 00:49:04,194 Okay. What does your mommy look like? 905 00:49:04,194 --> 00:49:05,195 Like you. 906 00:49:05,195 --> 00:49:07,397 Lucas! Get back here! 907 00:49:10,367 --> 00:49:11,701 Wait. Wait. 908 00:49:13,621 --> 00:49:16,907 Do you really think I look like your mommy? Huh? 909 00:49:17,741 --> 00:49:19,793 Answer me! 910 00:49:19,793 --> 00:49:21,161 Answer me, Lucas! 911 00:49:22,162 --> 00:49:23,997 Lucas! 912 00:49:27,084 --> 00:49:30,087 No disappearing acts, buddy. 913 00:49:30,087 --> 00:49:34,591 Okay, I am not buying you any more food until you find Jake Adams. 914 00:49:34,591 --> 00:49:36,593 If he was so perfect, why didn't it work out in the first place? 915 00:49:38,595 --> 00:49:41,097 Well, we made this pact that we would lose our virginity to each other, 916 00:49:41,098 --> 00:49:44,101 but Jake went abroad junior year, and while he was gone, 917 00:49:44,601 --> 00:49:46,102 I broke the pact. 918 00:49:46,103 --> 00:49:47,604 With who? 919 00:49:47,604 --> 00:49:50,106 Which one of the 20 could have possibly been better than Jake Adams? 920 00:49:50,107 --> 00:49:51,608 And why aren't we looking for him? 921 00:49:51,608 --> 00:49:53,443 You already found him. 922 00:49:53,444 --> 00:49:54,912 Gerry Perry? 923 00:49:55,412 --> 00:49:57,414 You lost your virginity to the puppeteer? 924 00:49:58,916 --> 00:50:02,920 I know. I felt bad for him. 925 00:50:02,920 --> 00:50:06,423 Oh, Ally, I underestimated you. That's amazing. 926 00:50:06,423 --> 00:50:09,759 That's... That's my new favorite thing about you. 927 00:50:10,678 --> 00:50:12,680 Hi. Thank you. 928 00:50:14,682 --> 00:50:15,683 Hey. Hi. 929 00:50:15,683 --> 00:50:17,184 Is Eddie coming? 930 00:50:17,184 --> 00:50:18,685 No. Mom. Don't go. 931 00:50:21,105 --> 00:50:22,890 I can't have lunch with Mom. I didn't wash my hair. 932 00:50:22,890 --> 00:50:24,892 You can't even tell. It looks great. 933 00:50:24,892 --> 00:50:26,393 You haven't told Mom Dad's coming to the wedding, have you? 934 00:50:27,695 --> 00:50:28,816 No. 935 00:50:28,816 --> 00:50:29,783 And that's why I'm here. 936 00:50:29,784 --> 00:50:30,701 Yes. 937 00:50:30,701 --> 00:50:32,652 And my hair doesn't look that great? 938 00:50:32,653 --> 00:50:34,871 No. I can't tell her alone. 939 00:50:35,706 --> 00:50:38,959 Fine. Pass the butter. 940 00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:40,461 (HUMMING THE WEDDING MARCH) Hi, Mummy. 941 00:50:41,913 --> 00:50:42,914 Hi, Mom. 942 00:50:42,914 --> 00:50:46,133 Kitty. Oh, my. 943 00:50:46,634 --> 00:50:48,836 So, the caterer called. 944 00:50:48,836 --> 00:50:52,840 Um, how strict a vegetarian is your boyfriend Rick, honey? 945 00:50:53,341 --> 00:50:56,010 Would he be willing to eat just a little chicken for one night? 946 00:50:56,010 --> 00:50:57,511 No, Rick's not coming. They broke up. 947 00:50:58,012 --> 00:51:00,397 Daisy! What? Not again. 948 00:51:00,398 --> 00:51:01,899 Dad's coming to the wedding. What? 949 00:51:02,350 --> 00:51:03,851 Ally! 950 00:51:05,569 --> 00:51:07,737 How could you do this to me? 951 00:51:07,738 --> 00:51:10,357 I'm not doing anything to you, Mom. 952 00:51:10,858 --> 00:51:13,861 Except making it impossible for me to come. 953 00:51:13,861 --> 00:51:15,362 You're not gonna come to my wedding? 954 00:51:15,363 --> 00:51:18,866 Not if your father's coming, I'm not. 955 00:51:19,367 --> 00:51:21,702 Maybe he can be Allison's date. Hmm? 956 00:51:21,702 --> 00:51:25,338 I'm sure you will just have a lovely, lovely time. 957 00:51:25,339 --> 00:51:27,341 Bye, Mom. Bye. Bye, Mom. 958 00:51:28,342 --> 00:51:29,343 You have to fix this. 959 00:51:29,844 --> 00:51:30,845 I'll talk to her when I get back. 960 00:51:30,845 --> 00:51:32,096 Where are you going? 961 00:51:32,096 --> 00:51:34,098 Miami, for a Pap smear. 962 00:51:34,098 --> 00:51:35,099 Why? 963 00:51:35,099 --> 00:51:36,600 Do you remember Barrett Ingold? 964 00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:38,101 The guy who threw up in our dishwasher? 965 00:51:38,102 --> 00:51:40,104 Yeah. He's a gynecologist now. 966 00:51:40,104 --> 00:51:41,438 But you hate Miami. 967 00:51:41,439 --> 00:51:43,808 I know. But I'm not having as much luck as I'd hoped locally 968 00:51:43,808 --> 00:51:46,360 and I'm running out of time, money, and viable eggs. 969 00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:48,945 So, you're telling me that tracking down your ex-boyfriends 970 00:51:48,946 --> 00:51:52,449 is more important than helping me plan my wedding? 971 00:51:52,450 --> 00:51:54,952 I know it sounds stupid to you, but it is important. 972 00:51:54,952 --> 00:51:57,955 I feel like everyone else is moving on with their lives but me. 973 00:51:57,955 --> 00:52:00,958 Ally, I'm all for moving on, I really am, 974 00:52:00,958 --> 00:52:04,962 but it just feels like this quest you're on is a little nuts. 975 00:52:04,962 --> 00:52:06,463 You know what? 976 00:52:06,464 --> 00:52:07,965 If you hadn't given your ex-boyfriend a second chance, 977 00:52:07,965 --> 00:52:09,466 you wouldn't even be having a wedding. 978 00:52:09,467 --> 00:52:13,471 Besides, I need a Pap smear and he takes my insurance. 979 00:52:13,471 --> 00:52:14,839 I'm late for my spray tan. 980 00:52:33,741 --> 00:52:35,242 Hello, Allison. 981 00:52:37,194 --> 00:52:39,196 Barrett? 982 00:52:39,196 --> 00:52:42,582 Oh, my God, is that you? 983 00:52:44,085 --> 00:52:44,952 Hi. 984 00:52:46,420 --> 00:52:49,423 It's Ally. Ally Darling. 985 00:52:49,423 --> 00:52:51,758 Oh. Yeah, from spinning. 986 00:52:52,176 --> 00:52:53,594 No. 987 00:52:53,594 --> 00:52:55,796 From... Oh, Greg's birthday party. 988 00:52:55,796 --> 00:52:58,098 We went to college together. 989 00:52:59,934 --> 00:53:01,518 We dated. Oh. 990 00:53:03,020 --> 00:53:04,388 How about that? 991 00:53:04,388 --> 00:53:06,807 Well, that was a long time ago. 992 00:53:06,807 --> 00:53:10,143 So, let's see how things are going now. Can you scooch? 993 00:53:11,112 --> 00:53:12,113 Very good. 994 00:53:21,288 --> 00:53:24,291 Ally! Of course. 995 00:53:27,878 --> 00:53:30,380 He recognized my vagina! 996 00:53:30,748 --> 00:53:34,718 What's going on down there? I got to say, I'm a little freaked out. 997 00:53:34,718 --> 00:53:36,219 Well, I'd be happy to take a look for you. 998 00:53:36,220 --> 00:53:38,922 I used all my miles for that! 999 00:53:38,923 --> 00:53:40,925 Cross Barrett off the list! 1000 00:53:40,925 --> 00:53:42,927 You know what? Cross the list off the list! 1001 00:53:42,927 --> 00:53:44,478 What am I doing? 1002 00:53:44,478 --> 00:53:47,564 Unemployed, spending every last dime 1003 00:53:47,565 --> 00:53:49,066 trying to track down these assholes 1004 00:53:49,066 --> 00:53:51,568 who already broke up with me once. 1005 00:53:52,069 --> 00:53:54,071 Maybe I should just quit. 1006 00:53:54,572 --> 00:53:57,575 Well, that's too bad, 'cause I found Tom Piper. 1007 00:53:58,075 --> 00:53:59,576 Keep talking. 1008 00:53:59,577 --> 00:54:01,078 He's in D.C., like you said. 1009 00:54:01,078 --> 00:54:02,579 He's working as an aide for Senator Mitchell. 1010 00:54:07,618 --> 00:54:09,119 I don't have anything a politician's wife would wear. 1011 00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:10,121 Ooh! 1012 00:54:10,121 --> 00:54:13,124 I do have a store credit for Ann Taylor. Ha! 1013 00:54:13,958 --> 00:54:15,459 Hi. 1014 00:54:15,459 --> 00:54:17,461 DAISY: I'm on your street and I have to poo. 1015 00:54:17,461 --> 00:54:20,464 Okay, let yourself in, I'll be home in 10 minutes. 1016 00:54:22,716 --> 00:54:24,551 Hi. 1017 00:54:26,020 --> 00:54:27,021 Hey. 1018 00:54:27,021 --> 00:54:28,722 Oh, Jesus. 1019 00:54:28,722 --> 00:54:31,524 Tell me you're not naked on my couch next to my sister. 1020 00:54:31,525 --> 00:54:34,528 Thankfully, he doesn't like to play without his underwear. 1021 00:54:34,528 --> 00:54:36,530 The guitar gets cold against his penis. 1022 00:54:37,031 --> 00:54:39,950 So, you two have met. 1023 00:54:39,950 --> 00:54:41,952 Hey, remember Tom Piper? 1024 00:54:42,453 --> 00:54:45,456 Colin found him in D.C., so I'm going there tomorrow, 1025 00:54:46,457 --> 00:54:48,242 wearing this! 1026 00:54:48,242 --> 00:54:49,743 I'm so excited. 1027 00:54:49,743 --> 00:54:51,244 Then why would you wear a pantsuit? 1028 00:54:51,245 --> 00:54:53,747 Don't you have your interview at Sheffield and Bloom tomorrow? 1029 00:54:53,747 --> 00:54:55,498 That's the beauty of a pantsuit, you know. 1030 00:54:55,499 --> 00:54:58,168 It works for both a super-boring interview 1031 00:54:58,169 --> 00:55:02,056 and for an accidental, on-purpose encounter with my future husband. 1032 00:55:02,056 --> 00:55:04,725 Hey, did you ever try and sell those freaky little sculptures you make? 1033 00:55:04,725 --> 00:55:05,726 No, she needs a real job. 1034 00:55:05,726 --> 00:55:07,728 Oh, yeah, those are just a hobby. 1035 00:55:08,229 --> 00:55:09,263 COLIN: I think they're amazing. 1036 00:55:09,263 --> 00:55:11,098 You should try. Not everyone can do that, you know. 1037 00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:13,984 Excuse me, would you mind giving me and Ally 1038 00:55:13,984 --> 00:55:14,985 a little bit of privacy, please? 1039 00:55:16,620 --> 00:55:17,357 She has to poo. 1040 00:55:17,825 --> 00:55:19,860 Ally! 1041 00:55:19,861 --> 00:55:22,196 Hey, hasn't your lady friend left yet? 1042 00:55:22,196 --> 00:55:24,698 No, I guess this one's a late sleeper. 1043 00:55:24,699 --> 00:55:26,200 Wait. Are you... 1044 00:55:26,200 --> 00:55:29,369 Is he hiding out here because there's a woman in his apartment? 1045 00:55:29,370 --> 00:55:30,871 He is. 1046 00:55:30,872 --> 00:55:33,174 That's it. I'm going to Anthony's Bakery. Excuse me. 1047 00:55:33,457 --> 00:55:36,843 Do you want to grab me a cannoli? No? 1048 00:55:37,845 --> 00:55:40,430 Okay. Keys. 1049 00:55:54,729 --> 00:55:56,230 Who the hell are you? 1050 00:55:56,230 --> 00:55:57,531 Andrea. 1051 00:55:58,950 --> 00:56:00,952 He didn't tell you he was engaged? 1052 00:56:01,402 --> 00:56:03,904 No. I am so sorry. 1053 00:56:04,405 --> 00:56:07,574 When I told him I was engaged, he didn't say anything. 1054 00:56:12,880 --> 00:56:14,965 Why? 1055 00:56:14,966 --> 00:56:16,968 Tits! 1056 00:56:16,968 --> 00:56:19,470 Oh. Oh. 1057 00:56:20,471 --> 00:56:23,974 Oh. Why? Why? 1058 00:56:33,601 --> 00:56:36,103 Hey, wouldn't it be easier 1059 00:56:36,103 --> 00:56:38,605 if you just spent the night at their apartments 1060 00:56:38,606 --> 00:56:41,108 and left in the morning, like a normal guy? 1061 00:56:41,108 --> 00:56:42,609 No. 1062 00:56:42,610 --> 00:56:44,111 I once stayed in a relationship with a girl 1063 00:56:44,111 --> 00:56:46,947 because of a picture she had on her bedside table. 1064 00:56:46,948 --> 00:56:50,451 It was her dressed as Cinderella on her fifth birthday. 1065 00:56:51,953 --> 00:56:53,287 Grab that. 1066 00:56:53,287 --> 00:56:55,289 So? 1067 00:56:55,289 --> 00:56:57,791 So, every time I tried to split with her, 1068 00:56:57,792 --> 00:56:59,794 I'd picture that little girl in the blue dress. 1069 00:56:59,794 --> 00:57:03,297 Happy. Excited about Monty, her new gerbil, 1070 00:57:03,798 --> 00:57:07,134 who she would later kill by accidentally putting him in the dryer. 1071 00:57:12,940 --> 00:57:15,225 Just couldn't break that little girl's heart. 1072 00:57:19,563 --> 00:57:21,064 So you're saying it's easier to sleep with girls 1073 00:57:21,065 --> 00:57:22,066 and never call them again 1074 00:57:22,066 --> 00:57:25,069 if you don't know anything about them? 1075 00:57:26,704 --> 00:57:28,288 Kind of like a serial killer. 1076 00:57:30,658 --> 00:57:32,159 Yeah, I guess so. 1077 00:57:32,576 --> 00:57:34,578 Hmm. 1078 00:57:34,962 --> 00:57:36,413 COLIN ON PHONE: Hey, so I talked to Piper's assistant. 1079 00:57:36,414 --> 00:57:37,915 He said he's gonna be doing research 1080 00:57:37,915 --> 00:57:39,416 in the library of the Adams Building 1081 00:57:39,417 --> 00:57:40,751 for the rest of the day. 1082 00:57:41,168 --> 00:57:44,171 Oh, wait. Hold on. My leg fell asleep on the train. 1083 00:57:44,171 --> 00:57:46,556 Pins and needles. Pins and needles. 1084 00:57:47,058 --> 00:57:48,059 Punch it. 1085 00:57:48,059 --> 00:57:49,060 Really? 1086 00:57:51,562 --> 00:57:53,564 I'm punching. 1087 00:57:53,564 --> 00:57:57,351 What? Your leg's never fallen asleep before? 1088 00:57:59,403 --> 00:58:00,153 What's that sound? 1089 00:58:01,022 --> 00:58:02,356 Nothing. 1090 00:58:02,857 --> 00:58:05,359 Hey, I didn't know you were such a big fan of Lionel Richie. 1091 00:58:05,359 --> 00:58:09,746 You know, looking at somebody's playlist is like reading their diary. 1092 00:58:15,786 --> 00:58:16,670 That's my bathtub. 1093 00:58:22,510 --> 00:58:23,761 Donald. 1094 00:58:23,761 --> 00:58:27,014 Ally... What are you doing here? 1095 00:58:28,799 --> 00:58:30,600 Visiting my fiance. 1096 00:58:31,602 --> 00:58:34,104 Your fiance who was at the North Pole? 1097 00:58:34,105 --> 00:58:34,972 Yep. 1098 00:58:35,439 --> 00:58:37,941 He's back. Pierre is back. 1099 00:58:38,275 --> 00:58:40,727 Wow. Pierre just happens to be in Washington, D.C., 1100 00:58:40,728 --> 00:58:42,229 the same time that I have a conference? 1101 00:58:43,731 --> 00:58:47,034 Yep. He's meeting with the President. 1102 00:58:47,034 --> 00:58:48,402 Oh. What a coincidence. 1103 00:58:48,402 --> 00:58:50,871 I know. It's crazy, isn't it? 1104 00:58:51,789 --> 00:58:53,073 Yeah, it is. 1105 00:58:54,909 --> 00:58:57,411 That's exactly what it is. 1106 00:58:57,411 --> 00:58:58,712 Okay. 1107 00:59:27,691 --> 00:59:29,192 Do you like freedom? 1108 00:59:29,193 --> 00:59:30,194 Sign here for freedom. 1109 00:59:30,194 --> 00:59:31,695 Be on our mailing list for George Bush. 1110 00:59:31,695 --> 00:59:34,698 George W. Bush. Vote George Bush. 1111 00:59:34,698 --> 00:59:35,699 Get on our mailing list. 1112 00:59:36,200 --> 00:59:37,084 Vote for freedom. 1113 00:59:59,311 --> 01:00:01,012 No, no, no. It's taken. 1114 01:00:01,513 --> 01:00:03,014 It's taken. 1115 01:00:11,856 --> 01:00:13,357 Okay, excuse me. 1116 01:00:14,993 --> 01:00:16,494 I'm just wondering 1117 01:00:16,494 --> 01:00:19,663 if you could help me move the table about three feet this way? 1118 01:00:20,532 --> 01:00:22,367 I just... I like it better over there. 1119 01:00:24,753 --> 01:00:27,338 Great, keep going just a little further. 1120 01:00:27,339 --> 01:00:32,127 Go, team. That's fantastic work. Thank you. Almost. 1121 01:00:33,628 --> 01:00:36,714 Almost. Almost there. Okay. 1122 01:00:36,715 --> 01:00:38,466 Okay, okay, okay. Okay. 1123 01:00:47,108 --> 01:00:48,442 Ally Darling. 1124 01:00:48,860 --> 01:00:50,361 Tom? 1125 01:00:50,362 --> 01:00:51,863 Shh! 1126 01:00:53,698 --> 01:00:56,567 Oh, my God! He's taking me to this party tonight. 1127 01:00:56,568 --> 01:00:57,869 I offered to stay at the Best Western, 1128 01:00:57,869 --> 01:00:59,871 but he insisted on putting me up at the Omni. 1129 01:01:00,372 --> 01:01:01,573 COLIN: He dropped you off at the hotel 1130 01:01:01,573 --> 01:01:04,075 and didn't come up for "it's good to see you" sex? 1131 01:01:04,075 --> 01:01:05,543 What'd you do to turn him off? 1132 01:01:05,543 --> 01:01:06,911 Nothing. He's a gentleman. 1133 01:01:07,379 --> 01:01:09,214 You wore that pantsuit, didn't you? 1134 01:01:09,214 --> 01:01:12,717 That pantsuit is sexy. It's very Katharine Hepburn. 1135 01:01:12,717 --> 01:01:14,335 All right. Let's clear something up right now. 1136 01:01:14,335 --> 01:01:16,837 Katharine Hepburn was not sexy. Audrey Hepburn was sexy. 1137 01:01:16,838 --> 01:01:18,089 Katharine Hepburn was a dude. 1138 01:01:19,090 --> 01:01:22,643 Well, Tom is just a good guy. 1139 01:01:22,644 --> 01:01:25,763 Besides, you wouldn't know a gentleman if he tiptoed up behind you 1140 01:01:25,764 --> 01:01:27,148 and tickled your balls. 1141 01:01:29,434 --> 01:01:30,935 Hello. Thank you. 1142 01:01:33,822 --> 01:01:35,323 I just got a present. 1143 01:01:36,324 --> 01:01:37,825 Oh! 1144 01:01:37,826 --> 01:01:42,330 He just sent over the most beautiful dress I've ever seen! 1145 01:01:42,914 --> 01:01:45,283 I feel like Cinderella. 1146 01:01:45,283 --> 01:01:48,786 Careful, if you're not home by midnight, it might turn into a pantsuit. 1147 01:01:57,929 --> 01:01:59,547 Wow! 1148 01:01:59,547 --> 01:02:00,798 Look at you. 1149 01:02:03,301 --> 01:02:06,304 You don't... You don't think it's a little small? 1150 01:02:07,806 --> 01:02:09,307 I'm sorry. 1151 01:02:09,307 --> 01:02:11,642 It was hard to tell what was going on underneath the pantsuit. 1152 01:02:14,312 --> 01:02:17,231 Perfect. You ready? 1153 01:02:17,232 --> 01:02:19,234 Okay. You all right? 1154 01:02:22,737 --> 01:02:23,738 Excuse me. 1155 01:02:26,241 --> 01:02:27,242 All right. 1156 01:02:27,242 --> 01:02:28,543 Ready? All right. Ready. 1157 01:02:30,462 --> 01:02:35,467 ♪ I feel lucky I feel free 1158 01:02:35,467 --> 01:02:40,472 ♪ I feel everything's a possibility ♪ 1159 01:02:45,477 --> 01:02:47,479 I can't believe Senator Phillips and his wife 1160 01:02:47,479 --> 01:02:49,981 were talking to us for, like, 15 minutes. I know! 1161 01:02:49,981 --> 01:02:51,983 He didn't even know my name before tonight. 1162 01:02:51,983 --> 01:02:54,986 Now he wants to hear my ideas about the tobacco reform bill. 1163 01:02:54,986 --> 01:02:58,990 And she wants to take me out to lunch. Some place with popovers! 1164 01:03:00,492 --> 01:03:02,494 We make a great team. 1165 01:03:02,494 --> 01:03:04,579 With you by my side, we could own this town. 1166 01:03:04,579 --> 01:03:06,581 We could totally own it. 1167 01:03:06,581 --> 01:03:08,366 I mean it, Ally. 1168 01:03:12,537 --> 01:03:16,374 Look, I have my eyes on a Senate seat, and then the presidency. 1169 01:03:16,374 --> 01:03:18,376 Now, if tonight is any indication, 1170 01:03:18,376 --> 01:03:20,211 I think together we could go all the way. 1171 01:03:20,678 --> 01:03:21,545 Let's do it! 1172 01:03:21,546 --> 01:03:22,797 So, we're doing it? 1173 01:03:22,797 --> 01:03:24,098 Yeah! 1174 01:03:25,099 --> 01:03:26,967 What are we doing? 1175 01:03:27,468 --> 01:03:28,802 We're getting married! 1176 01:03:30,271 --> 01:03:32,273 Oh. Yeah! 1177 01:03:32,273 --> 01:03:34,275 Well, 1178 01:03:34,275 --> 01:03:37,528 maybe we should kiss first and see how that goes. 1179 01:03:37,529 --> 01:03:40,899 A kiss? No. 1180 01:03:40,899 --> 01:03:43,902 I want you to be my beard. I'm gay. 1181 01:03:46,621 --> 01:03:47,705 What? 1182 01:03:47,705 --> 01:03:49,707 Gay. Like super gay. 1183 01:03:49,707 --> 01:03:53,210 Like, one down here, one here, one here, one here, gay. 1184 01:03:54,712 --> 01:03:56,914 I thought you knew that. 1185 01:03:56,915 --> 01:03:59,417 America's ready for a black President. 1186 01:03:59,417 --> 01:04:02,219 They're not ready for a gay black President. 1187 01:04:02,220 --> 01:04:05,223 And we have history, Ally. 1188 01:04:05,223 --> 01:04:08,559 I mean, I wouldn't have known I was gay if I hadn't dated you. 1189 01:04:10,478 --> 01:04:12,980 So, what do you say? 1190 01:04:12,981 --> 01:04:14,983 Can I get back to you? 1191 01:04:34,752 --> 01:04:36,253 Hey, Bandit. 1192 01:04:40,792 --> 01:04:42,593 Wait, wait, wait. Don't move. Stay right there. 1193 01:04:44,429 --> 01:04:45,847 What are you doing here? 1194 01:04:45,847 --> 01:04:47,348 I'm not depressed enough to sleep with you. 1195 01:04:47,348 --> 01:04:48,849 Close your eyes. 1196 01:04:49,267 --> 01:04:50,268 That won't help. 1197 01:04:50,268 --> 01:04:51,602 And 1198 01:04:52,053 --> 01:04:53,554 open them. 1199 01:04:58,693 --> 01:05:00,194 What do you think? 1200 01:05:08,703 --> 01:05:09,737 My wiring's a little spotty. 1201 01:05:09,737 --> 01:05:12,406 Every time these go on, your bathroom light burns out, 1202 01:05:12,407 --> 01:05:14,292 but I think it's worth it. 1203 01:05:17,578 --> 01:05:19,079 What did you do? 1204 01:05:19,080 --> 01:05:21,082 I think it really brings out the detail, you know? 1205 01:05:21,082 --> 01:05:23,584 I never noticed Louie's gold tooth before. 1206 01:05:23,885 --> 01:05:25,803 I named him Louie, by the way. 1207 01:05:27,505 --> 01:05:29,340 I can't believe it. 1208 01:05:29,757 --> 01:05:31,759 This is amazing. 1209 01:05:31,759 --> 01:05:35,262 Yeah. Well, you sounded depressed on the phone, so... 1210 01:05:35,763 --> 01:05:37,264 You hungry? 1211 01:05:38,766 --> 01:05:39,933 I'm starving! 1212 01:05:42,236 --> 01:05:45,105 So, I got good news. I found Julie from college. 1213 01:05:45,106 --> 01:05:48,109 She is a man now, and she's single. 1214 01:05:48,609 --> 01:05:50,243 She's cute. Looks like Ralph Macchio. 1215 01:05:52,163 --> 01:05:53,864 You know what? 1216 01:05:53,865 --> 01:05:55,366 Even if he were straight, it wouldn't have worked anyway. 1217 01:05:55,833 --> 01:05:59,336 You got to be a lady to be the First Lady, and I ain't no lady. 1218 01:05:59,337 --> 01:06:02,206 You're a lady. You're lots of lady. 1219 01:06:02,707 --> 01:06:06,627 You're once, twice, 20 times a lady. 1220 01:06:12,884 --> 01:06:14,385 Okay. Okay. 1221 01:06:14,385 --> 01:06:17,020 ♪ You're once, twice 1222 01:06:17,021 --> 01:06:19,523 ♪ Three times a lady 1223 01:06:21,025 --> 01:06:23,027 ♪ I love you 1224 01:06:25,530 --> 01:06:29,116 ♪ Yeah, you're once, twice 1225 01:06:30,118 --> 01:06:31,402 ♪ Three times a lady 1226 01:06:33,821 --> 01:06:36,824 ♪ I love you ♪ 1227 01:06:40,128 --> 01:06:41,829 Thank you. Thank you. 1228 01:06:41,829 --> 01:06:43,080 Whoa. 1229 01:06:47,468 --> 01:06:49,470 Oh, shit. 1230 01:06:49,470 --> 01:06:52,473 I either need to lie down or throw up. 1231 01:06:52,974 --> 01:06:53,975 You okay? 1232 01:06:53,975 --> 01:06:56,477 Yeah. No. 1233 01:06:57,478 --> 01:06:58,979 I have to go to my sister's wedding alone. 1234 01:07:00,398 --> 01:07:02,066 I'll go with you. 1235 01:07:02,567 --> 01:07:03,568 You'd do that? 1236 01:07:03,568 --> 01:07:05,069 Yeah. Why not? 1237 01:07:07,572 --> 01:07:11,075 Thanks. I really appreciate that. 1238 01:07:14,529 --> 01:07:16,914 I still think I'm gonna throw up. 1239 01:07:18,866 --> 01:07:19,666 Let's get some air. 1240 01:07:30,211 --> 01:07:31,712 What are we doing? 1241 01:07:31,712 --> 01:07:35,215 Just because it's dark doesn't mean you have to whisper. 1242 01:07:39,720 --> 01:07:40,721 Are we in the Garden? 1243 01:07:40,721 --> 01:07:42,055 Yep. 1244 01:07:42,974 --> 01:07:44,976 This has got to be illegal. 1245 01:07:44,976 --> 01:07:47,478 Yeah, probably. I worked here one summer. 1246 01:07:47,478 --> 01:07:48,645 I passed out programs 1247 01:07:48,646 --> 01:07:51,148 and I managed to swipe a passkey before I got fired. 1248 01:07:51,649 --> 01:07:52,449 You got fired? 1249 01:07:52,450 --> 01:07:55,953 Yeah. There was an incident with the mascot. 1250 01:07:56,454 --> 01:07:57,788 What happened? 1251 01:07:58,122 --> 01:08:01,041 I may or may not have pissed in his pot of gold. 1252 01:08:01,542 --> 01:08:02,743 Ever played H.O.R.S.E. in the Garden? 1253 01:08:02,743 --> 01:08:03,627 No. 1254 01:08:06,330 --> 01:08:08,131 But I have played H.O.R.S.E. 1255 01:08:08,132 --> 01:08:09,666 Okay, okay. 1256 01:08:11,552 --> 01:08:12,719 Okay. 1257 01:08:15,089 --> 01:08:17,641 Oh! No! 1258 01:08:17,642 --> 01:08:22,146 "H" for you, my friend. What are you doing? 1259 01:08:22,146 --> 01:08:26,016 We're playing strip H.O.R.S.E. Is there another kind? 1260 01:08:26,017 --> 01:08:28,019 There's the kind where you keep your clothes on. 1261 01:08:28,019 --> 01:08:32,156 What's fun about that? All right. "H." 1262 01:08:33,524 --> 01:08:35,442 Backboard. 1263 01:08:37,161 --> 01:08:39,163 Uh-huh. 1264 01:08:39,163 --> 01:08:40,447 Okay. Okay. 1265 01:08:47,121 --> 01:08:49,423 Oh, my God! 1266 01:09:00,468 --> 01:09:01,469 Nope. 1267 01:09:06,190 --> 01:09:07,641 Yeah! 1268 01:09:07,642 --> 01:09:09,560 Panty time! 1269 01:09:12,146 --> 01:09:14,148 Come on! 1270 01:09:24,742 --> 01:09:26,543 That was close. That's an "H." 1271 01:09:29,797 --> 01:09:32,800 This is not fair. 1272 01:09:32,800 --> 01:09:35,969 I miss one shot, and I'm almost totally naked. 1273 01:09:36,971 --> 01:09:38,589 Well, that's the game. 1274 01:09:38,589 --> 01:09:41,091 Well, the game is changing. 1275 01:09:41,092 --> 01:09:42,893 It's now one-on-one. 1276 01:09:49,650 --> 01:09:51,485 This way. Let's go, baby. 1277 01:09:53,738 --> 01:09:55,072 Come get it. 1278 01:09:55,072 --> 01:09:56,907 Okay. Let's go. 1279 01:10:00,411 --> 01:10:02,413 ♪ Here we go, here we go Satellite radio 1280 01:10:02,413 --> 01:10:04,114 ♪ Y'all getting hit with boom boom 1281 01:10:04,115 --> 01:10:06,033 ♪ Beats so big I'm stepping on leprechauns 1282 01:10:06,033 --> 01:10:07,834 ♪ Shittin' on y'all with the boom boom 1283 01:10:07,835 --> 01:10:09,786 ♪ Shittin' on y'all with the boom boom 1284 01:10:09,787 --> 01:10:11,672 ♪ Shittin' on y'all with the... ♪ 1285 01:10:28,222 --> 01:10:29,773 ALLY: Oh, my God. 1286 01:10:29,774 --> 01:10:31,275 I can't believe it. 1287 01:10:31,275 --> 01:10:33,777 I think that dress is gonna look good on him. 1288 01:10:33,778 --> 01:10:35,279 It's a good thing you play the guitar, 1289 01:10:35,279 --> 01:10:36,780 because you suck at basketball. 1290 01:10:38,783 --> 01:10:40,785 Well, you can't be good at everything. It just wouldn't be fair. 1291 01:10:41,152 --> 01:10:43,654 And I can't believe that you can play Lionel Richie! 1292 01:10:44,155 --> 01:10:45,656 I can play a lot of things. 1293 01:10:45,656 --> 01:10:48,909 So, how come you don't make a living at it? You're really good. 1294 01:10:48,909 --> 01:10:51,795 Ah, I want to play my own music. 1295 01:10:52,163 --> 01:10:54,165 Don't you worry about paying the rent? 1296 01:10:54,165 --> 01:10:56,167 I don't love marketing, but... 1297 01:10:56,167 --> 01:10:57,668 What do you love? 1298 01:11:02,173 --> 01:11:04,341 I love making those freaky little sculptures, 1299 01:11:04,842 --> 01:11:06,343 but I'm not gonna make any money at that. 1300 01:11:06,344 --> 01:11:09,347 How do you know? You've never tried. 1301 01:11:09,347 --> 01:11:13,351 I've never jumped into the harbor, either. 1302 01:11:13,351 --> 01:11:15,853 Doesn't mean that it's a good idea. 1303 01:11:15,853 --> 01:11:16,854 I think it's a great idea. 1304 01:11:16,854 --> 01:11:20,858 I think it's the best idea you've ever had. 1305 01:11:22,360 --> 01:11:24,362 No. Yes. 1306 01:11:24,362 --> 01:11:25,863 No. Yes! 1307 01:11:25,863 --> 01:11:27,531 No. Yes! 1308 01:11:27,531 --> 01:11:28,949 We are gonna jump in the harbor! 1309 01:11:28,949 --> 01:11:30,450 No. No. No. No. Let's go. 1310 01:11:30,868 --> 01:11:32,870 God! No! 1311 01:11:32,870 --> 01:11:33,871 Let's do it! 1312 01:11:54,942 --> 01:11:56,944 Holy fuck, this is fucking cold! 1313 01:11:56,944 --> 01:11:58,946 This is the worst idea you've ever had! 1314 01:12:12,076 --> 01:12:15,079 I can't believe you finally got me naked. 1315 01:12:15,079 --> 01:12:16,914 Well, my shirt does look good on you. 1316 01:12:16,914 --> 01:12:18,665 Good, 'cause I'm keeping it. 1317 01:12:18,666 --> 01:12:21,468 No, you're not. I can't afford to lose any more shirts. 1318 01:12:21,469 --> 01:12:23,471 Women are always stealing my shirts. 1319 01:12:23,471 --> 01:12:25,473 Women aren't always stealing your shirts. 1320 01:12:25,806 --> 01:12:27,724 They're borrowing them, fully intending to give them back, 1321 01:12:27,725 --> 01:12:30,227 but you never call. 1322 01:12:30,227 --> 01:12:32,395 So, you're saying that if I have fewer one-night stands, 1323 01:12:32,897 --> 01:12:34,431 I'll have more shirts? 1324 01:12:34,432 --> 01:12:35,933 I think so. 1325 01:12:40,104 --> 01:12:41,405 Well, then, that settles it. 1326 01:12:43,324 --> 01:12:44,692 I'm changing my ways, 1327 01:12:45,192 --> 01:12:47,527 and I'm not gonna lose any more shirts. 1328 01:12:49,497 --> 01:12:50,748 Really? 1329 01:12:51,115 --> 01:12:52,116 Really. 1330 01:12:54,452 --> 01:12:58,456 In fact, I think I'm gonna take this one back right now. 1331 01:12:58,456 --> 01:12:59,957 Good for you. 1332 01:13:24,815 --> 01:13:25,816 Wait. 1333 01:13:25,816 --> 01:13:26,817 It's okay, I have one. 1334 01:13:26,817 --> 01:13:28,318 No. 1335 01:13:29,320 --> 01:13:31,121 I have to slow down. 1336 01:13:33,491 --> 01:13:36,494 Okay. Okay, that's fine. 1337 01:13:40,080 --> 01:13:44,084 What if I just put it in a little bit? It won't even count. 1338 01:13:44,084 --> 01:13:46,086 Eileen says it counts. 1339 01:13:49,089 --> 01:13:52,092 What about, like, that much? That's nothing. 1340 01:13:52,092 --> 01:13:54,094 You won't even feel it. 1341 01:13:56,397 --> 01:13:59,016 Okay. I understand. That's fine. 1342 01:14:01,018 --> 01:14:03,353 But I am gonna keep kissing you. 1343 01:14:35,628 --> 01:14:36,629 Hi. 1344 01:14:36,629 --> 01:14:38,464 Hi. 1345 01:14:38,465 --> 01:14:41,251 You look so beautiful in the morning. 1346 01:14:42,168 --> 01:14:44,170 I do? Yeah. 1347 01:14:52,479 --> 01:14:53,763 How's this for a slice of awesome? 1348 01:14:54,180 --> 01:14:57,483 Mexican wrestling on pay-per-view all day. 1349 01:14:57,484 --> 01:14:58,985 I will run to the store 1350 01:14:58,985 --> 01:15:01,237 and get eggs and salsa for huevos rancheros, 1351 01:15:01,571 --> 01:15:05,074 you stay here and whip up margaritas. Sound good? 1352 01:15:06,075 --> 01:15:09,661 Shit! I can't! Oh, my God! 1353 01:15:10,663 --> 01:15:11,664 Cereal? 1354 01:15:12,115 --> 01:15:13,916 No! I'm meeting Daisy. 1355 01:15:14,284 --> 01:15:17,837 I'm already late. She hates it when I'm late. Oh, no. 1356 01:15:40,560 --> 01:15:42,061 Whoo! 1357 01:15:42,061 --> 01:15:45,230 I can't believe Eddie didn't want to pick out these place cards. 1358 01:15:45,231 --> 01:15:47,733 Oh, no, no, no. He has terrible taste in fonts. 1359 01:15:47,734 --> 01:15:49,702 Have you convinced Mom to come to the wedding yet? 1360 01:15:49,702 --> 01:15:50,703 No, and I don't have to, 1361 01:15:50,703 --> 01:15:53,155 because you are gonna talk Dad out of coming. 1362 01:15:53,156 --> 01:15:54,991 I am? Let's face it. 1363 01:15:55,408 --> 01:15:57,410 Dad's only coming because he thinks that he has to. 1364 01:15:57,410 --> 01:16:00,579 So, why not just let him off the hook and make everybody happy? 1365 01:16:00,580 --> 01:16:02,582 It's not a bad idea. 1366 01:16:02,582 --> 01:16:05,585 Oh, great! You guys can cast the final vote. We've narrowed it down. 1367 01:16:05,585 --> 01:16:09,338 To this one, or this nearly identical one. 1368 01:16:09,339 --> 01:16:10,923 Monotype Corsiva. 1369 01:16:10,924 --> 01:16:12,558 How do you know that? I'm married. 1370 01:16:12,976 --> 01:16:15,812 EILEEN: Okay, are we done? Because we want to hear about D.C. 1371 01:16:16,179 --> 01:16:17,730 Did you go to the Holocaust Museum? 1372 01:16:17,730 --> 01:16:19,732 No, but that would have been more fun. 1373 01:16:19,732 --> 01:16:21,567 So, there were no sparks with Tom? 1374 01:16:21,568 --> 01:16:25,021 Tom? What happened to Jake? I thought you were looking for Jake. 1375 01:16:25,488 --> 01:16:28,491 Jake's in Africa and Tom's gay, but it's okay, 1376 01:16:28,491 --> 01:16:30,993 because Colin is gonna be my date for the wedding. 1377 01:16:31,494 --> 01:16:33,529 Is that the guy who answered your cell phone 1378 01:16:33,529 --> 01:16:36,281 and got mad at me for waking him up at 2:00 in the afternoon? 1379 01:16:36,282 --> 01:16:38,117 Yeah. I took his phone by mistake. 1380 01:16:38,534 --> 01:16:40,752 You invited Colin? Your rapey neighbor? 1381 01:16:40,753 --> 01:16:42,004 Do we call him that? 1382 01:16:42,338 --> 01:16:44,873 Just behind your back. 1383 01:16:44,874 --> 01:16:48,878 Okay. Well, let's stop because he's actually a pretty good guy. 1384 01:16:48,878 --> 01:16:50,346 DAISY: Oh, Ally. 1385 01:16:50,346 --> 01:16:51,347 What? 1386 01:16:51,848 --> 01:16:52,849 You slept with him! 1387 01:16:52,849 --> 01:16:54,350 Oh, no! 1388 01:16:54,350 --> 01:16:57,136 I did not. I didn't. 1389 01:16:57,136 --> 01:16:58,470 EILEEN: Good. Don't. 1390 01:16:58,471 --> 01:16:59,972 Because he's not the kind of guy you end up with. 1391 01:16:59,973 --> 01:17:02,525 He's the kind of guy you date before the guy you end up with. 1392 01:17:02,525 --> 01:17:04,527 How do you know? You haven't even met him. 1393 01:17:04,527 --> 01:17:06,729 I don't have to meet him. I've had sex with him. 1394 01:17:06,729 --> 01:17:09,231 Except his name is Doug, and he's a fucking liar! 1395 01:17:09,732 --> 01:17:12,868 Well, I have met him, and he is dangerously sexy. 1396 01:17:12,869 --> 01:17:16,789 And if he wanted to come in through the back door, you'd let him. 1397 01:17:16,789 --> 01:17:18,073 Don't let him, Ally. 1398 01:17:18,458 --> 01:17:20,460 You guys don't need to worry. 1399 01:17:20,460 --> 01:17:22,462 I'm not going to let him in any door. 1400 01:17:22,462 --> 01:17:24,964 He's just a friend who's doing me a favor. 1401 01:17:52,408 --> 01:17:54,410 COLIN: Honey, I'm home. 1402 01:17:56,112 --> 01:18:00,116 So, I TiVo-ed Mexican wrestling for you and I cooked. 1403 01:18:00,116 --> 01:18:03,119 They're supposed to be taquitos, they look like cannolis, 1404 01:18:03,119 --> 01:18:06,622 but they kind of taste like egg rolls. 1405 01:18:06,622 --> 01:18:09,007 What are you doing? Are you working on the diner? All right. 1406 01:18:10,510 --> 01:18:12,512 Don't let me bug you. 1407 01:18:18,851 --> 01:18:21,854 Hey, so, just out of curiosity, 1408 01:18:21,854 --> 01:18:24,356 did you ever hear anything from Jake? 1409 01:18:24,857 --> 01:18:26,141 Nope. 1410 01:18:28,644 --> 01:18:31,530 Really? Not a phone call? Nothing? 1411 01:18:31,981 --> 01:18:33,482 Nope. 1412 01:18:36,486 --> 01:18:38,488 Okay, well, 1413 01:18:38,488 --> 01:18:42,241 I'm kind of busy right now, so I guess I'll just see you later. 1414 01:18:43,543 --> 01:18:45,044 Shit! Ally, wait. 1415 01:18:45,044 --> 01:18:46,545 Wait, wait. Just go. 1416 01:18:46,546 --> 01:18:48,047 I don't want to hear any more lies. 1417 01:18:48,047 --> 01:18:49,548 All right, yes. Jake is back in town 1418 01:18:49,549 --> 01:18:52,084 and I do have his number, but I didn't think that mattered now. 1419 01:18:52,468 --> 01:18:53,836 Would you please just go? 1420 01:18:53,836 --> 01:18:55,337 What about last night? 1421 01:18:55,338 --> 01:18:57,340 I think we should just forget about last night. 1422 01:18:57,840 --> 01:18:59,641 Because of Jake? No. 1423 01:19:01,477 --> 01:19:05,514 Because you're not the kind of guy I'm supposed to end up with. 1424 01:19:06,849 --> 01:19:08,233 What kind of guy am I, Ally? 1425 01:19:11,237 --> 01:19:12,738 You're the kind of guy you date 1426 01:19:12,739 --> 01:19:14,240 before you meet the guy you end up with, 1427 01:19:14,240 --> 01:19:15,608 and I've already dated 20 of you. 1428 01:19:21,614 --> 01:19:23,282 So, you're gonna try and make it work with Jake, 1429 01:19:23,282 --> 01:19:24,783 a guy you haven't seen in years, 1430 01:19:24,784 --> 01:19:26,702 just so you don't go over the number 20? 1431 01:19:26,702 --> 01:19:28,203 It's not just about a number anymore, okay? 1432 01:19:28,704 --> 01:19:29,504 Well, then what is it? 1433 01:19:29,789 --> 01:19:30,539 It's what I want! 1434 01:19:30,873 --> 01:19:32,174 You don't know what you want, Ally. 1435 01:19:32,675 --> 01:19:34,843 You're so busy trying to be what everyone else wants you to be, 1436 01:19:34,844 --> 01:19:35,678 you don't know who you are. 1437 01:19:36,095 --> 01:19:38,597 At least I have relationships. 1438 01:19:38,598 --> 01:19:41,100 You can't even hang out with a woman for 24 hours 1439 01:19:41,100 --> 01:19:41,934 without sleeping with her. 1440 01:19:42,351 --> 01:19:44,219 That was true until I met you. 1441 01:19:47,690 --> 01:19:52,227 Well, I'm sure that if we had slept together, you'd be long gone by now, 1442 01:19:52,228 --> 01:19:53,729 because that's who you are, Colin, 1443 01:19:53,729 --> 01:19:55,731 and that's who you'll always be. 1444 01:19:58,701 --> 01:20:00,202 All right. Whatever you say, Ally. 1445 01:20:00,203 --> 01:20:02,205 You obviously have it all figured out. 1446 01:20:05,625 --> 01:20:07,627 And I do know who I am! 1447 01:20:07,627 --> 01:20:09,128 I'm someone who's not gonna let 1448 01:20:09,128 --> 01:20:11,630 another undeserving asshole into my heart! 1449 01:20:11,631 --> 01:20:13,633 Or my vagina! 1450 01:20:13,633 --> 01:20:15,501 MALE TENANT: Shut the fuck up! 1451 01:20:15,501 --> 01:20:16,502 Stop fucking your dog! 1452 01:20:43,383 --> 01:20:46,636 Hi, Jake Adams, it's Ally. 1453 01:20:47,137 --> 01:20:50,640 Ally Darling from high school. Go, Vikings. 1454 01:20:51,141 --> 01:20:53,059 Um... 1455 01:20:53,059 --> 01:20:54,560 I came across your number, 1456 01:20:54,561 --> 01:20:59,065 and I thought, "Wow, I should really call Jake 1457 01:20:59,065 --> 01:21:04,070 "and leave him a long, rambling message on his voice mail." 1458 01:21:05,822 --> 01:21:09,325 Anyway, if you're feeling up to it, 1459 01:21:09,325 --> 01:21:11,827 you can give me a call anytime. 1460 01:21:11,828 --> 01:21:14,330 My number is 617-55... 1461 01:21:15,331 --> 01:21:19,335 Oh, my God, I just hiccupped. I'm sorry. 1462 01:21:19,836 --> 01:21:21,504 617-55... 1463 01:21:23,006 --> 01:21:25,008 All right. Okay... 1464 01:21:25,008 --> 01:21:27,927 My number is 617-555-0192. Okay, bye. 1465 01:21:33,016 --> 01:21:36,019 Well, who doesn't call that girl back? 1466 01:21:43,059 --> 01:21:44,276 Not again. 1467 01:21:44,277 --> 01:21:46,279 Who's the surprise guest this time? 1468 01:21:46,279 --> 01:21:47,480 I was supposed to have lunch with Dad 1469 01:21:47,480 --> 01:21:48,981 to tell him that he didn't have to come to the wedding, 1470 01:21:48,982 --> 01:21:50,566 but then he said he was gonna bring his girlfriend. 1471 01:21:50,567 --> 01:21:52,569 Jacinda? Yeah. 1472 01:21:52,569 --> 01:21:53,953 And I just couldn't have that conversation with him in front of her. 1473 01:21:53,953 --> 01:21:56,455 So, I just thought, you know, we could do it together. 1474 01:21:56,456 --> 01:22:00,293 I am never meeting you for another meal ever again. 1475 01:22:00,794 --> 01:22:03,296 You don't mean that. 1476 01:22:03,296 --> 01:22:05,548 Ally, I didn't know you were coming. What a nice surprise. 1477 01:22:06,049 --> 01:22:07,300 Hi. I'm Daisy. 1478 01:22:07,300 --> 01:22:10,136 Got all my girls here. I see that you've got one of these, too. 1479 01:22:10,136 --> 01:22:12,721 I got a couple for the two of us, so we can text and tweet. 1480 01:22:12,722 --> 01:22:15,975 You should follow me on Twitter, "VeryTerry3." 1481 01:22:15,975 --> 01:22:17,977 Or we could just talk right now. 1482 01:22:17,977 --> 01:22:20,813 LOL. 1483 01:22:20,814 --> 01:22:24,267 He is so excited about your wedding. It's all he can text about. 1484 01:22:24,267 --> 01:22:27,270 I can't wait for everyone to meet my lady. 1485 01:22:28,488 --> 01:22:30,490 Oh, you're coming to the wedding, too? 1486 01:22:30,490 --> 01:22:33,493 That's great. That's so great. 1487 01:22:33,493 --> 01:22:34,994 Ally, isn't that so great? 1488 01:22:34,994 --> 01:22:36,996 It's great. It's so great. 1489 01:22:37,747 --> 01:22:38,748 Oh! 1490 01:22:41,117 --> 01:22:42,368 Excuse me for a second. 1491 01:22:43,203 --> 01:22:44,704 Don't go. 1492 01:22:44,704 --> 01:22:45,705 We are just fine. 1493 01:22:49,042 --> 01:22:51,177 Hold up. Ashton is getting his car washed. 1494 01:22:51,177 --> 01:22:52,678 Nuh-uh. Lookit. 1495 01:22:57,800 --> 01:23:00,052 ♪ I am a human rocket 1496 01:23:00,053 --> 01:23:02,388 ♪ On a mission of deployment 1497 01:23:02,388 --> 01:23:04,556 ♪ I've been cocked and loaded 1498 01:23:04,557 --> 01:23:06,692 ♪ Ready for the culmination 1499 01:23:06,693 --> 01:23:09,362 ♪ I am a human missile 1500 01:23:09,362 --> 01:23:11,113 ♪ Guided by a secret agenda 1501 01:23:11,114 --> 01:23:13,616 ♪ That commands my every thoughts and deeds 1502 01:23:14,117 --> 01:23:16,068 ♪ And wills me on my way 1503 01:23:20,490 --> 01:23:22,492 ♪ I am a human rocket 1504 01:23:22,992 --> 01:23:25,294 ♪ On a mission of redemption 1505 01:23:25,295 --> 01:23:27,163 ♪ I've been cocked and loaded 1506 01:23:27,163 --> 01:23:29,632 ♪ Primed by everything I know 1507 01:23:29,632 --> 01:23:32,134 ♪ I am a human missile 1508 01:23:32,135 --> 01:23:34,003 ♪ Guided by a secret voice 1509 01:23:34,003 --> 01:23:36,555 ♪ That commands my every thoughts and deeds 1510 01:23:36,556 --> 01:23:38,975 ♪ And wills me on my righteous way ♪ 1511 01:24:38,618 --> 01:24:40,119 JAKE: All right. Great. 1512 01:24:41,621 --> 01:24:42,905 Ally. 1513 01:24:43,706 --> 01:24:44,707 Jake. 1514 01:24:46,326 --> 01:24:48,711 My brothers actually went more into the business side of things, 1515 01:24:48,711 --> 01:24:51,714 and when my dad asked me to run the foundation, 1516 01:24:51,714 --> 01:24:54,717 it was sort of more of a natural fit for me, you know? 1517 01:24:54,717 --> 01:24:57,219 I've always been better at giving away money versus making it. 1518 01:24:57,720 --> 01:24:59,304 I'm rambling. I can hear myself totally rambling. 1519 01:24:59,305 --> 01:25:00,923 No. No, no, not at all. I am. I am. 1520 01:25:00,923 --> 01:25:03,425 I've been doing it all day. Kind of, but it's interesting. 1521 01:25:03,426 --> 01:25:05,394 Hey, what do... I mean, what about you? 1522 01:25:05,395 --> 01:25:07,480 Last I heard you were in marketing, right? 1523 01:25:07,480 --> 01:25:11,484 Yeah. I'm actually in between jobs right now. 1524 01:25:11,484 --> 01:25:12,735 Well, listen, say the word. 1525 01:25:13,236 --> 01:25:14,737 I mean, I can get you an interview over at Adams in two seconds. 1526 01:25:14,737 --> 01:25:16,488 Oh, thank you. 1527 01:25:16,489 --> 01:25:17,323 But you know what? I'm actually... 1528 01:25:17,323 --> 01:25:18,824 I'm thinking about making a change. 1529 01:25:18,825 --> 01:25:21,494 A change? Oh, yeah? What would you do? 1530 01:25:22,996 --> 01:25:25,498 I make these clay sculptures. 1531 01:25:25,999 --> 01:25:29,335 They're sort of these freaky little urban scenes. 1532 01:25:29,335 --> 01:25:32,421 They're kind of hard to explain. I'd really have to show you. 1533 01:25:32,922 --> 01:25:34,206 I'd love to see them. 1534 01:25:35,625 --> 01:25:37,126 Really? 1535 01:25:37,126 --> 01:25:39,011 They're in my shower. 1536 01:25:40,513 --> 01:25:42,348 Then I guess we're done here. 1537 01:25:48,271 --> 01:25:50,773 See. This is where they dry. 1538 01:25:50,773 --> 01:25:52,775 Wow. They really are in your shower. 1539 01:25:52,775 --> 01:25:54,276 Yep. 1540 01:26:11,794 --> 01:26:14,079 ALLY: Did I tell you that he speaks four different languages, 1541 01:26:14,080 --> 01:26:15,998 but he's so not obnoxious about it? 1542 01:26:15,998 --> 01:26:20,002 And he's still so goddamn handsome, and he smells so fucking good. 1543 01:26:20,002 --> 01:26:22,004 It's crazy. 1544 01:26:22,004 --> 01:26:24,506 He's taking me to a gala at the Institute of Contemporary Art, 1545 01:26:24,507 --> 01:26:26,509 and then I think we're going to go... 1546 01:26:26,509 --> 01:26:29,011 Whoa. That's not your dress. 1547 01:26:29,512 --> 01:26:32,014 Yeah. Yeah, I know, I just... 1548 01:26:32,014 --> 01:26:34,566 Yeah, I just like this one better, 'cause there's just... 1549 01:26:34,567 --> 01:26:37,570 You know, it's more comfortable. There's just more room to... 1550 01:26:37,570 --> 01:26:41,907 To eat and to move, and to... To dance. 1551 01:26:41,908 --> 01:26:43,192 Okay. 1552 01:26:43,192 --> 01:26:45,194 I couldn't breathe in my other dress! 1553 01:26:45,194 --> 01:26:48,614 A bride should be able to breathe in her own fucking dress! 1554 01:26:48,614 --> 01:26:52,618 Sorry, I just am feeling really stressed out right now 1555 01:26:52,618 --> 01:26:56,755 because I don't know how I'm going to convince Mom 1556 01:26:56,756 --> 01:26:58,674 to come to my wedding, 1557 01:26:58,674 --> 01:27:01,677 because our dad is bringing our new mommy, 1558 01:27:01,677 --> 01:27:03,178 and she's not... Stop. 1559 01:27:03,179 --> 01:27:04,680 I will go with you to talk to Mom, 1560 01:27:04,680 --> 01:27:07,683 and you don't even have to trick me. Okay? 1561 01:27:07,683 --> 01:27:11,186 Now, are you sure you can breathe in this dress? 1562 01:27:12,688 --> 01:27:14,690 Okay, then do that. 1563 01:27:17,276 --> 01:27:18,610 ALLY: It's really not gonna be that bad. 1564 01:27:18,611 --> 01:27:21,113 We're gonna loosen her up. We're gonna ease into it. 1565 01:27:21,114 --> 01:27:22,615 It's gonna be great. 1566 01:27:22,615 --> 01:27:24,400 If you say so. 1567 01:27:25,201 --> 01:27:26,702 Mom? 1568 01:27:29,122 --> 01:27:30,406 I don't believe you! 1569 01:27:30,406 --> 01:27:31,907 When were you planning to tell me about all this? 1570 01:27:33,126 --> 01:27:34,130 Hmm? 1571 01:27:34,130 --> 01:27:36,132 Uh... Now? 1572 01:27:36,132 --> 01:27:37,633 That's why we're here, Mom. 1573 01:27:37,634 --> 01:27:40,753 I have to read about it in a magazine? 1574 01:27:40,754 --> 01:27:42,589 You and Jake Adams. 1575 01:27:44,057 --> 01:27:45,508 Are you an item? 1576 01:27:47,010 --> 01:27:47,927 Yes? 1577 01:27:49,229 --> 01:27:51,431 Did you just squeal, Mom? 1578 01:27:51,431 --> 01:27:54,734 I don't know. I'm out of my body right now. 1579 01:27:55,235 --> 01:27:57,353 Is it serious? 1580 01:27:57,354 --> 01:27:59,656 It could be, but we're taking it slow. 1581 01:28:00,073 --> 01:28:01,574 Do you really have that luxury? 1582 01:28:02,025 --> 01:28:03,526 I want to make sure that it's right. 1583 01:28:03,526 --> 01:28:06,161 Oh, it doesn't get any more right than Jake Adams. 1584 01:28:06,162 --> 01:28:09,165 This is your life, Ally, don't get creative. 1585 01:28:09,165 --> 01:28:11,667 When I saw you two in that magazine, 1586 01:28:11,668 --> 01:28:14,170 I went and found some old photographs. 1587 01:28:15,588 --> 01:28:17,089 Just look at this. 1588 01:28:19,342 --> 01:28:21,344 I knew he was the one. 1589 01:28:21,344 --> 01:28:23,596 Aw. 1590 01:28:24,047 --> 01:28:27,550 Tell me, Ally, is he gonna be your date to the wedding? 1591 01:28:29,519 --> 01:28:31,020 Is he, Ally? 1592 01:28:35,525 --> 01:28:36,893 Yes. 1593 01:28:37,394 --> 01:28:38,978 Oh! 1594 01:28:38,978 --> 01:28:41,480 Oh, I got to get the seating chart. 1595 01:28:41,481 --> 01:28:43,616 So, you're still gonna come to the wedding, 1596 01:28:43,616 --> 01:28:45,618 even though Dad's gonna be there, too? 1597 01:28:45,618 --> 01:28:46,869 Of course, darling. 1598 01:28:47,237 --> 01:28:49,489 My baby only gets married once. 1599 01:28:49,489 --> 01:28:50,656 Right? 1600 01:28:52,125 --> 01:28:54,127 I am so proud of my girls. 1601 01:28:57,213 --> 01:28:59,215 Seating chart. Seating chart. 1602 01:28:59,215 --> 01:29:00,716 Where's the little seating chart? 1603 01:29:01,217 --> 01:29:03,219 Do we tell her about Jacinda? 1604 01:29:03,219 --> 01:29:06,222 No. I think we quit while we're ahead. 1605 01:29:06,222 --> 01:29:08,224 Bye, Mom. Bye, Mom. 1606 01:29:08,224 --> 01:29:09,592 What? 1607 01:29:09,592 --> 01:29:11,093 ♪ ...and get you drunk 1608 01:29:11,094 --> 01:29:15,098 ♪ So I can have my wicked way with you 1609 01:29:15,098 --> 01:29:17,100 ♪ I'm just being honest 1610 01:29:17,100 --> 01:29:22,271 ♪ 'Cause I know the other guys are thinking just the same way too 1611 01:29:25,442 --> 01:29:27,944 I really love Japan. 1612 01:29:28,445 --> 01:29:30,246 Really? 1613 01:29:32,916 --> 01:29:34,500 Are those mini cheeseburgers? Yes, they are. 1614 01:29:34,501 --> 01:29:36,503 May I? Thank you. 1615 01:29:38,004 --> 01:29:39,505 You didn't want one? 1616 01:29:39,506 --> 01:29:42,509 No, I'm okay. Thank you. 1617 01:29:42,509 --> 01:29:46,429 Mmm. These are excellent mini cheeseburgers. 1618 01:29:46,429 --> 01:29:48,764 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 1619 01:29:50,600 --> 01:29:54,604 ♪ Show me some skin I might bite it 1620 01:29:54,604 --> 01:29:58,608 ♪ I wanna have my wicked way with you 1621 01:30:02,612 --> 01:30:08,117 ♪ So I'm not gonna come over and meet your mom and dad 1622 01:30:08,117 --> 01:30:10,619 ♪ They know that I was bad 1623 01:30:10,620 --> 01:30:13,623 ♪ I'm just thinking of three hours or more 1624 01:30:14,123 --> 01:30:18,127 ♪ So I can have my wicked way with you 1625 01:30:19,913 --> 01:30:24,500 ♪ My wicked way with you ♪ 1626 01:30:31,841 --> 01:30:33,976 Colin, hi. 1627 01:30:33,977 --> 01:30:35,511 Hi. 1628 01:30:35,512 --> 01:30:39,516 Fancy meeting you here, dressed all fancy. 1629 01:30:39,516 --> 01:30:40,817 Where you off to? 1630 01:30:42,101 --> 01:30:43,602 A wedding. 1631 01:30:43,603 --> 01:30:46,272 You, too, right? Today's Daisy's big day. 1632 01:30:47,273 --> 01:30:49,275 Yeah. 1633 01:30:49,275 --> 01:30:53,279 Wow. You're going to a wedding, too. That's weird. 1634 01:30:53,780 --> 01:30:54,747 Whose wedding? 1635 01:30:56,749 --> 01:30:58,617 Nobody you know. 1636 01:30:58,618 --> 01:31:01,120 Oh. 1637 01:31:01,120 --> 01:31:04,840 Is it like a date or something? Are you seeing somebody? 1638 01:31:06,843 --> 01:31:09,345 Don't worry about it, Ally. 1639 01:31:16,352 --> 01:31:18,554 Don't drink too much champagne. 1640 01:31:44,380 --> 01:31:46,215 Hey, is my hair too high? 1641 01:31:46,633 --> 01:31:47,634 Oh, no, honey. It's perfect. 1642 01:31:48,134 --> 01:31:49,135 JAMIE: Is it going on? 1643 01:31:49,135 --> 01:31:50,136 The dress doesn't fit. 1644 01:31:50,136 --> 01:31:51,637 Okay. Why isn't it zipped? 1645 01:31:51,638 --> 01:31:53,473 Can I get some help here? 1646 01:31:53,473 --> 01:31:56,008 Where's my Croissan'Wich? 1647 01:31:56,009 --> 01:31:57,010 Did somebody eat my Croissan'Wich? 1648 01:31:57,510 --> 01:31:59,512 No, honey. Nobody did. You just relax, okay? 1649 01:31:59,512 --> 01:32:01,263 Katie, Jamie, find Daisy's Croissan'Wich. 1650 01:32:01,264 --> 01:32:03,065 Okay. On it. Got it. Okay. 1651 01:32:04,067 --> 01:32:05,068 Okay, listen, 1652 01:32:05,068 --> 01:32:06,519 I don't want anyone to panic but... 1653 01:32:06,519 --> 01:32:07,269 What's happening? 1654 01:32:07,654 --> 01:32:08,655 The harpist isn't coming. 1655 01:32:08,655 --> 01:32:10,273 I had a harpist? 1656 01:32:10,273 --> 01:32:12,108 She broke her finger during the philharmonic softball league playoffs, 1657 01:32:12,108 --> 01:32:14,610 and given that this is one of the busiest wedding weekends of the year, 1658 01:32:14,611 --> 01:32:16,195 all the other harpists are booked. 1659 01:32:16,195 --> 01:32:18,197 Oh, Christ. Why is this happening to me? 1660 01:32:18,197 --> 01:32:20,199 KEVIN: I got a list of all the other weddings happening in the city 1661 01:32:20,199 --> 01:32:21,700 and found a replacement who can be here 1662 01:32:21,701 --> 01:32:23,419 as soon as her first wedding is over. 1663 01:32:23,419 --> 01:32:27,089 And if she doesn't show, I play the horn. 1664 01:32:27,090 --> 01:32:28,925 Now let's get this girl married, huh? 1665 01:32:30,426 --> 01:32:31,927 Daise, I got it. 1666 01:32:56,319 --> 01:32:58,821 OFFICIANT: Please rise for the bride. 1667 01:33:06,996 --> 01:33:08,998 We are gathered here today to celebrate the union 1668 01:33:08,998 --> 01:33:12,668 of Daisy Ann Darling and Edward Michael Vogel. 1669 01:33:12,669 --> 01:33:15,972 Getting to know Daisy and Eddie has reinforced my belief that, 1670 01:33:16,389 --> 01:33:18,007 while love is universal, 1671 01:33:18,007 --> 01:33:20,509 every couple is unique. 1672 01:33:27,400 --> 01:33:31,187 Daisy Darling, today I make these vows to you. 1673 01:33:31,187 --> 01:33:33,689 I will never rhyme "crazy" with "Daisy," 1674 01:33:35,408 --> 01:33:38,027 even if I mean, like, "crazy good." 1675 01:33:38,027 --> 01:33:40,412 I will not blow my nose in the shower. 1676 01:33:42,665 --> 01:33:46,168 I promise to always consult you before getting a haircut 1677 01:33:46,169 --> 01:33:47,503 and to never grow a moustache. 1678 01:33:48,955 --> 01:33:50,256 Or a soul patch. No. 1679 01:33:54,177 --> 01:33:57,463 I will not blame you for the bad decisions you make in my dreams. 1680 01:34:01,467 --> 01:34:07,473 I will keep an eye on that suspicious freckle on your back, 1681 01:34:07,473 --> 01:34:11,226 even though I'm really sure it's nothing. 1682 01:34:11,227 --> 01:34:16,865 And I will not get mad at you about everything 1683 01:34:16,866 --> 01:34:20,202 when I'm only really mad at you about one thing. 1684 01:34:24,490 --> 01:34:25,491 OFFICIANT: By the power vested in me, 1685 01:34:25,491 --> 01:34:27,910 I am happy to pronounce you husband and wife. 1686 01:34:27,910 --> 01:34:29,411 You may kiss the bride. 1687 01:34:31,247 --> 01:34:37,586 ♪ I'm holding a heart here in my hand 1688 01:34:37,587 --> 01:34:43,509 ♪ Hey, hey, hey 1689 01:34:43,509 --> 01:34:48,313 ♪ My own work of art 1690 01:34:48,314 --> 01:34:50,733 ♪ Here where I stand 1691 01:34:50,733 --> 01:34:56,238 ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ 1692 01:35:03,079 --> 01:35:07,833 ♪ I can see clearly now The rain is gone 1693 01:35:10,920 --> 01:35:14,290 ♪ I can see all obstacles in my way ♪ 1694 01:35:14,290 --> 01:35:16,592 Quite a party. Yeah, it sure is. 1695 01:35:16,592 --> 01:35:18,927 Hold on. I have to tweet about this. 1696 01:35:18,928 --> 01:35:20,930 And hi there. 1697 01:35:25,051 --> 01:35:27,553 Your mom always did have a great laugh. 1698 01:35:27,553 --> 01:35:30,055 I'm just glad she's happy. 1699 01:35:30,056 --> 01:35:32,058 Are you happy? 1700 01:35:32,058 --> 01:35:33,809 Yeah. Of course. 1701 01:35:39,949 --> 01:35:41,734 Your mom only wants what's best for you, you know. 1702 01:35:41,734 --> 01:35:43,068 I know. 1703 01:35:43,069 --> 01:35:44,453 Unfortunately, she thinks what's best for you 1704 01:35:44,453 --> 01:35:46,154 is being exactly like her, 1705 01:35:46,155 --> 01:35:47,489 only you're not, Ally. 1706 01:35:47,490 --> 01:35:50,576 You may have her looks, but you have my rhythm, kid. 1707 01:35:50,877 --> 01:35:52,578 I'm afraid it's a little offbeat. 1708 01:35:54,046 --> 01:35:57,215 I guess that explains why she's always disappointed in me. 1709 01:35:57,216 --> 01:36:00,219 I think it's hard for her to look at you and see so much of me. 1710 01:36:05,591 --> 01:36:09,394 ♪ Thanks for the time 1711 01:36:09,395 --> 01:36:11,180 ♪ That you've given me 1712 01:36:11,180 --> 01:36:13,565 Uh, may I? 1713 01:36:14,066 --> 01:36:15,567 Why not? 1714 01:36:15,568 --> 01:36:18,070 Thank you. Thank you, sir. 1715 01:36:20,439 --> 01:36:22,908 God, I'm sorry. I just couldn't slow-dance with your mother. 1716 01:36:23,409 --> 01:36:25,411 No, that's okay. 1717 01:36:27,413 --> 01:36:30,916 I think the last time we slow-danced was prom night. 1718 01:36:30,917 --> 01:36:33,920 Yeah. Yeah, it was. I remember that. 1719 01:36:33,920 --> 01:36:35,421 I believe that was also the night 1720 01:36:35,421 --> 01:36:37,423 where you finally gave me the honor 1721 01:36:37,423 --> 01:36:40,926 of making you unfit for every other man in the village. 1722 01:36:42,545 --> 01:36:44,346 Oh, boy. 1723 01:36:44,347 --> 01:36:47,633 ♪ You're once, twice 1724 01:36:49,635 --> 01:36:53,021 ♪ Three times a lady 1725 01:36:53,022 --> 01:36:56,525 I know this isn't the ideal place to tell you, but I want to be honest. 1726 01:36:56,525 --> 01:36:58,276 You weren't my first. 1727 01:36:59,562 --> 01:37:00,563 I wasn't? 1728 01:37:00,563 --> 01:37:02,531 No, I'm sorry. 1729 01:37:02,531 --> 01:37:07,319 Well, so you've been with two guys in your life. Big deal. 1730 01:37:08,821 --> 01:37:11,657 More like two times 10. 1731 01:37:11,657 --> 01:37:17,162 Right. Like you've had sex with 20 guys. Yuck. 1732 01:37:18,664 --> 01:37:20,165 Gross. 1733 01:37:23,169 --> 01:37:25,671 Well, all right. I may not have been your first, 1734 01:37:25,671 --> 01:37:29,174 but maybe I'll be your last. 1735 01:37:29,175 --> 01:37:31,677 Why? Are you gonna rape and kill me? 1736 01:37:31,677 --> 01:37:33,679 No, but I'm gonna kiss you. 1737 01:37:35,147 --> 01:37:38,150 ♪ With every beat 1738 01:37:38,651 --> 01:37:43,489 ♪ Of my heart 1739 01:37:44,490 --> 01:37:45,491 ♪ You're once 1740 01:37:45,491 --> 01:37:46,992 Come with me for a second. 1741 01:37:46,993 --> 01:37:48,444 ♪ Twice 1742 01:37:49,996 --> 01:37:53,582 ♪ Three times a lady 1743 01:37:54,083 --> 01:37:59,088 So, how does dinner in Milan and breakfast in Paris sound? 1744 01:37:59,088 --> 01:38:00,589 Starchy. 1745 01:38:00,589 --> 01:38:02,591 I've got to do a little traveling for the foundation, 1746 01:38:02,591 --> 01:38:04,092 and I'd love it if you came with me. 1747 01:38:05,594 --> 01:38:07,095 Seriously? Mmm-hmm. 1748 01:38:07,596 --> 01:38:08,597 For how long? 1749 01:38:09,098 --> 01:38:10,349 Six months. 1750 01:38:10,349 --> 01:38:12,851 I know it sounds like a long time, but you're in-between jobs 1751 01:38:12,852 --> 01:38:16,939 and your little sculpture things can wait. 1752 01:38:16,939 --> 01:38:18,390 And if you think about it, 1753 01:38:18,391 --> 01:38:19,892 the only thing that's keeping you in Boston is me, 1754 01:38:19,892 --> 01:38:21,193 and I'm leaving. 1755 01:38:23,312 --> 01:38:24,813 It's time. 1756 01:38:27,283 --> 01:38:28,617 Excuse me. 1757 01:38:31,537 --> 01:38:32,788 Thank you. 1758 01:38:32,788 --> 01:38:39,461 ♪ And I love you ♪ 1759 01:38:43,165 --> 01:38:45,584 Join me. 1760 01:38:45,584 --> 01:38:47,002 Hi, everyone. 1761 01:38:47,003 --> 01:38:48,554 ALL: Hi. 1762 01:38:50,056 --> 01:38:52,975 When Daisy and Eddie first got together, 1763 01:38:52,975 --> 01:38:56,511 I have to admit I was a little bit nervous. 1764 01:38:56,512 --> 01:38:58,514 I could tell that it was serious, 1765 01:38:58,514 --> 01:39:01,517 and I thought that the closer she got to him, 1766 01:39:02,018 --> 01:39:04,520 the further away she'd get from me, 1767 01:39:04,854 --> 01:39:07,323 but that didn't happen. 1768 01:39:09,191 --> 01:39:11,693 Not only do I see more of Daisy, 1769 01:39:11,694 --> 01:39:14,947 I see a happier, even better Daisy. 1770 01:39:19,618 --> 01:39:21,620 It's like with Eddie she's 1771 01:39:25,624 --> 01:39:26,625 completely herself. 1772 01:39:44,026 --> 01:39:46,528 When you're a big sister, it's your job 1773 01:39:46,529 --> 01:39:48,781 to teach your little sister everything. 1774 01:39:50,066 --> 01:39:52,735 How to ride a bike, 1775 01:39:52,735 --> 01:39:54,536 how to lie to your parents. 1776 01:39:55,404 --> 01:39:56,538 How to kiss. 1777 01:39:56,539 --> 01:39:58,240 Not with tongue. Settle down, Uncle Charlie. 1778 01:40:01,827 --> 01:40:04,329 But I never thought 1779 01:40:06,332 --> 01:40:09,835 about what my little sister could teach me until right now. 1780 01:40:10,753 --> 01:40:13,806 So, I want to thank you, Daisy. 1781 01:40:13,806 --> 01:40:16,809 Thank you for teaching me 1782 01:40:18,811 --> 01:40:22,815 that being in love means being yourself. 1783 01:40:27,319 --> 01:40:29,070 To Daisy and Eddie! 1784 01:40:35,161 --> 01:40:36,662 You were great. Can we talk? 1785 01:40:36,662 --> 01:40:38,664 Yeah. Absolutely. 1786 01:40:42,001 --> 01:40:43,502 ALL: ♪ That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh 1787 01:40:43,502 --> 01:40:45,787 ♪ I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh 1788 01:40:45,788 --> 01:40:47,790 ♪ That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh 1789 01:40:47,790 --> 01:40:50,125 ♪ I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh 1790 01:40:50,126 --> 01:40:51,627 ♪ That's the way, uh-huh, uh-huh ♪ 1791 01:40:52,128 --> 01:40:53,129 Oh, shit. 1792 01:40:54,797 --> 01:40:57,299 What's going on? Are you okay? 1793 01:41:00,302 --> 01:41:04,306 Jake, there actually is something here in Boston 1794 01:41:04,306 --> 01:41:06,308 that's really important to me. 1795 01:41:06,308 --> 01:41:10,312 And as much as I want to travel the world, 1796 01:41:10,312 --> 01:41:12,814 I'm not sure I want to do it with you. 1797 01:41:12,815 --> 01:41:16,318 Which is insane, I know, because you're perfect. 1798 01:41:17,319 --> 01:41:19,321 But you're not perfect for me, 1799 01:41:19,321 --> 01:41:22,824 and I don't think I'm perfect for you. 1800 01:41:23,792 --> 01:41:26,294 I'm so sorry, Jake. 1801 01:41:26,295 --> 01:41:29,298 If I had been honest with myself earlier, 1802 01:41:29,298 --> 01:41:31,300 or ever, 1803 01:41:31,300 --> 01:41:33,302 I wouldn't have put you through all this. 1804 01:41:33,302 --> 01:41:37,806 Yeah, well, that would have been preferable. 1805 01:41:37,806 --> 01:41:40,809 Right. I don't think I'm gonna stick around for the cake. Excuse me. 1806 01:41:41,810 --> 01:41:43,812 It's really good. 1807 01:41:58,827 --> 01:42:00,195 Okay. 1808 01:42:05,584 --> 01:42:07,919 Where's... Where's Jake going? 1809 01:42:07,920 --> 01:42:08,870 Sir, champagne? 1810 01:42:09,371 --> 01:42:10,255 ALLY: He's leaving. 1811 01:42:10,256 --> 01:42:13,759 What? In the middle of the reception? Why? 1812 01:42:13,759 --> 01:42:16,261 Because I never should have brought him here in the first place. 1813 01:42:17,179 --> 01:42:19,965 You're gonna let him go? 1814 01:42:20,299 --> 01:42:23,051 Oh, Ally, I... I don't understand you. 1815 01:42:23,052 --> 01:42:26,055 Ally, why? Why are you doing this? 1816 01:42:26,055 --> 01:42:28,724 Honey, you were finally happy. 1817 01:42:28,724 --> 01:42:32,194 No! You were finally happy. 1818 01:42:32,194 --> 01:42:34,362 I don't wanna marry Jake Adams. 1819 01:42:34,363 --> 01:42:36,231 That's not who I am. Oh, my... 1820 01:42:36,232 --> 01:42:39,235 I'm a jobless whore who's slept with 20 guys, 1821 01:42:39,735 --> 01:42:44,156 and I want to be with somebody who appreciates that about me. 1822 01:42:44,156 --> 01:42:47,626 You may not understand me, Mom, but you don't have to. 1823 01:42:47,626 --> 01:42:49,377 All you have to do is love me. 1824 01:42:51,880 --> 01:42:55,884 I know that I'm not perfect, but that's why you have Daisy. 1825 01:42:55,884 --> 01:42:58,386 My dress is too tight because I'm four months pregnant. 1826 01:43:01,223 --> 01:43:02,557 What? 1827 01:43:02,558 --> 01:43:04,059 What? 1828 01:43:04,059 --> 01:43:05,060 Oh! 1829 01:43:07,563 --> 01:43:08,597 You're pregnant? 1830 01:43:08,597 --> 01:43:11,066 Yes. Now get out of here. 1831 01:43:11,066 --> 01:43:13,068 Thank you. 1832 01:43:13,068 --> 01:43:14,069 Surprise! 1833 01:43:14,570 --> 01:43:18,240 I'm gonna be a grandmother. I'm gonna be a grandmother. 1834 01:43:23,078 --> 01:43:24,529 All the drinks are sitting here on your tray. 1835 01:43:25,030 --> 01:43:26,531 What is the matter with you? Is this too difficult? 1836 01:43:26,532 --> 01:43:28,033 Kevin, where's that list you had of all the other weddings 1837 01:43:28,033 --> 01:43:29,534 going on in the city today? It's right here. 1838 01:43:29,535 --> 01:43:30,586 Okay, thank you. 1839 01:43:40,850 --> 01:43:44,353 Goddamn. Damn it! 1840 01:44:02,288 --> 01:44:03,622 Hi. 1841 01:44:03,623 --> 01:44:04,740 ♪ Every time I think of you 1842 01:44:04,741 --> 01:44:08,995 ♪ I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue 1843 01:44:08,995 --> 01:44:13,466 ♪ It's no problem of mine But it's a problem I find 1844 01:44:13,466 --> 01:44:15,301 ♪ Living a life that I can't leave behind 1845 01:44:17,971 --> 01:44:21,257 ♪ But there's no sense in telling me 1846 01:44:21,257 --> 01:44:23,259 ♪ The wisdom of the fool won't set you free 1847 01:44:25,145 --> 01:44:27,147 ♪ But that's the way that it goes 1848 01:44:27,147 --> 01:44:29,482 ♪ And it's what nobody knows 1849 01:44:29,482 --> 01:44:33,819 ♪ Well, every day my confusion grows 1850 01:44:33,820 --> 01:44:37,406 ♪ Every time I see you falling 1851 01:44:37,407 --> 01:44:41,411 ♪ I get down on my knees and pray 1852 01:44:41,411 --> 01:44:45,782 ♪ I'm waiting for that final moment 1853 01:44:46,199 --> 01:44:47,200 Colin! 1854 01:44:58,261 --> 01:45:02,265 ♪ I feel fine and I feel good 1855 01:45:02,265 --> 01:45:05,268 ♪ I feel like I never should 1856 01:45:05,268 --> 01:45:09,138 ♪ Whenever I get this way I just don't know what to say 1857 01:45:09,139 --> 01:45:14,144 ♪ Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday? 1858 01:45:14,144 --> 01:45:17,947 ♪ Every time I see you falling 1859 01:45:17,947 --> 01:45:21,951 ♪ I get down on my knees and pray 1860 01:45:21,951 --> 01:45:26,121 ♪ I'm waiting for that final moment 1861 01:45:26,122 --> 01:45:29,625 ♪ You say the words that I can't say ♪ 1862 01:45:35,548 --> 01:45:37,383 Oh, come on! 1863 01:45:38,835 --> 01:45:42,839 Blessed be this union and may it bear fruit. 1864 01:46:09,115 --> 01:46:11,834 Colin! Colin! 1865 01:46:21,211 --> 01:46:23,096 Blue car, keys are in it. 1866 01:46:46,870 --> 01:46:48,655 MAN: Get the fuck out of the road! 1867 01:46:48,655 --> 01:46:50,073 Hey, watch it, lady. 1868 01:46:50,573 --> 01:46:52,458 Shut up, you asshole! 1869 01:46:55,161 --> 01:46:57,163 Sorry! I'm sorry! 1870 01:46:57,664 --> 01:46:59,165 I'm sorry! 1871 01:47:13,563 --> 01:47:14,513 Thank you. 1872 01:47:15,014 --> 01:47:17,816 You can help yourself to some pepperoni. 1873 01:47:23,940 --> 01:47:25,107 Miss, your name? 1874 01:47:27,443 --> 01:47:28,410 Uh... 1875 01:47:29,412 --> 01:47:30,413 I... 1876 01:47:35,618 --> 01:47:38,954 I'm... I'm sorry. 1877 01:47:38,955 --> 01:47:41,007 COLIN: Hi, everyone. Hope you're all having a good time tonight. 1878 01:47:41,007 --> 01:47:42,675 I know we are. 1879 01:47:42,675 --> 01:47:45,961 This next song is a local band. Hope you enjoy it. 1880 01:47:52,769 --> 01:47:54,771 ♪ I don't mind you coming here 1881 01:47:56,356 --> 01:47:58,358 ♪ And wasting all my time 1882 01:47:59,893 --> 01:48:02,682 ♪ 'Cause when you're standing oh, so near 1883 01:48:03,984 --> 01:48:06,269 ♪ I kind of lose my mind 1884 01:48:06,269 --> 01:48:07,270 This is bullshit. 1885 01:48:07,771 --> 01:48:10,273 Why didn't I just wait for him at his apartment? 1886 01:48:11,191 --> 01:48:14,077 ♪ And wasting all my time 1887 01:48:16,529 --> 01:48:17,746 Fuck! 1888 01:48:18,248 --> 01:48:19,249 Fuck! 1889 01:48:19,749 --> 01:48:20,750 Fuck! Fuck! 1890 01:48:22,202 --> 01:48:25,955 ♪ I don't mind you hanging out 1891 01:48:25,956 --> 01:48:27,874 ♪ And talking in your sleep 1892 01:48:29,676 --> 01:48:33,129 ♪ It doesn't matter where you've been 1893 01:48:33,129 --> 01:48:36,015 ♪ As long as it was deep Yeah 1894 01:48:37,017 --> 01:48:40,520 ♪ Always need to wear it well 1895 01:48:40,520 --> 01:48:42,772 ♪ You look so fancy, I can tell 1896 01:48:44,774 --> 01:48:46,609 ♪ I don't mind you hanging out 1897 01:48:48,061 --> 01:48:50,029 ♪ And talking in your sleep 1898 01:48:52,032 --> 01:48:55,785 ♪ I guess you're just what I needed 1899 01:48:55,785 --> 01:48:58,070 ♪ I needed someone to feed 1900 01:48:58,071 --> 01:48:59,405 ♪ Someone to... 1901 01:48:59,906 --> 01:49:01,824 ♪ I need to talk to you 1902 01:49:02,709 --> 01:49:04,210 ♪ Right now 1903 01:49:04,210 --> 01:49:05,828 ♪ I needed someone to feed ♪ 1904 01:49:09,215 --> 01:49:11,467 Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. 1905 01:49:13,470 --> 01:49:15,839 Okay, everybody, we're just gonna take a quick break. 1906 01:49:15,839 --> 01:49:18,141 Why don't we get those toasts started? 1907 01:49:18,141 --> 01:49:21,260 So, papa bear, come on up here. 1908 01:49:27,484 --> 01:49:29,986 MAN: Hello, everyone, and thank you all for coming out tonight... 1909 01:49:30,487 --> 01:49:34,491 Fuckity fuck! Fuckity fuck! Fuckity fuck! 1910 01:49:36,993 --> 01:49:38,995 What are you doing here, Ally? 1911 01:49:38,995 --> 01:49:40,496 I have a speech that I wanna make to you, 1912 01:49:40,997 --> 01:49:42,999 but I was afraid that I was gonna forget it. 1913 01:49:42,999 --> 01:49:47,503 So, I figured it would be easier to drive, bike, 1914 01:49:47,504 --> 01:49:52,008 and run across town in my high heels so I could tell you right now. 1915 01:49:55,011 --> 01:49:56,512 What's the speech? 1916 01:50:00,016 --> 01:50:03,602 Well, the gist of it was, 1917 01:50:04,604 --> 01:50:05,888 I'm sorry. 1918 01:50:07,307 --> 01:50:08,308 That's it? 1919 01:50:08,808 --> 01:50:10,025 No, wait, there's more. 1920 01:50:10,360 --> 01:50:11,361 I, um... 1921 01:50:13,863 --> 01:50:15,865 I'm happiest when I'm being myself, 1922 01:50:15,865 --> 01:50:18,367 and I'm myself when I'm with you. 1923 01:50:18,368 --> 01:50:20,703 That was it. 1924 01:50:21,204 --> 01:50:24,073 I guess I was just so afraid that you were another asshole 1925 01:50:24,074 --> 01:50:27,877 that I became the biggest asshole of all. 1926 01:50:27,877 --> 01:50:30,379 You weren't an asshole. I was an asshole. 1927 01:50:30,380 --> 01:50:33,383 I should have given you Jake's number, I just... 1928 01:50:34,884 --> 01:50:36,385 I didn't think I could compete with that. 1929 01:50:38,888 --> 01:50:41,390 There's no contest. 1930 01:50:41,391 --> 01:50:44,394 You're the most decent guy I've ever met. 1931 01:50:56,406 --> 01:50:58,908 I think I love you, 21. 1932 01:51:01,694 --> 01:51:03,195 I love you, too. 1933 01:51:05,198 --> 01:51:07,033 Three hundred and... No! 1934 01:51:50,243 --> 01:51:53,746 JAY: Hey, Kelli, Kelli with an "I." What's up? 1935 01:51:53,746 --> 01:51:56,248 It's Jay from Club Med Turkoise. 1936 01:51:56,249 --> 01:51:58,251 I got a weird message from your assistant, 1937 01:51:58,751 --> 01:52:01,754 and I just wanted to let you know, we never had sex. 1938 01:52:01,754 --> 01:52:05,758 Uh, you did this awkward striptease involving maracas, 1939 01:52:05,758 --> 01:52:08,510 and then gave me a shitty hand job. 1940 01:52:08,895 --> 01:52:12,398 You claimed it was something you like to do called "dry style," 1941 01:52:12,398 --> 01:52:15,901 vomited in my suitcase, and then you passed out in the shower. 1942 01:52:15,902 --> 01:52:17,904 So, yeah, we never slept together. 1943 01:52:22,775 --> 01:52:26,779 You're number 20! I'm still at 20! 1944 01:52:26,779 --> 01:52:31,333 I can't believe it! You are number 20! 1945 01:52:31,835 --> 01:52:33,336 Yes! 1946 01:52:35,839 --> 01:52:39,843 ♪ It will outlast everything You think is set is stone 1947 01:52:39,843 --> 01:52:41,845 ♪ It goes on and on and on and on 1948 01:52:41,845 --> 01:52:43,847 ♪ On and on and on and on 1949 01:52:43,847 --> 01:52:47,851 ♪ Buzzing like neon lights 1950 01:52:47,851 --> 01:52:49,853 ♪ Can you feel my love? 1951 01:52:49,853 --> 01:52:53,857 ♪ Loud and clear Pulls you near 1952 01:52:53,857 --> 01:52:57,360 ♪ Can you feel my love? 1953 01:52:57,360 --> 01:53:01,864 ♪ We got all the memories So much more we can see 1954 01:53:01,865 --> 01:53:05,368 ♪ Better than a first kiss Snow falling at Christmas 1955 01:53:05,368 --> 01:53:09,872 ♪ Like sleeping in on Sunday Laughter we never faked 1956 01:53:09,873 --> 01:53:13,877 ♪ Bob Marley in summer One love for each other 1957 01:53:13,877 --> 01:53:14,878 ♪ Oh, it feels like... 1958 01:53:15,378 --> 01:53:18,381 ♪ Fireflies Day and night 1959 01:53:18,381 --> 01:53:20,883 ♪ Can you feel my love? 1960 01:53:22,886 --> 01:53:26,890 ♪ Everyone is looking for a special connection 1961 01:53:26,890 --> 01:53:31,394 ♪ But it's like your compass points a million directions 1962 01:53:31,394 --> 01:53:35,398 ♪ Do you need me to buy you a telescope so you can see 1963 01:53:35,398 --> 01:53:39,402 ♪ How good this could be 1964 01:53:39,402 --> 01:53:43,406 ♪ Buzzing like neon lights 1965 01:53:43,406 --> 01:53:45,408 ♪ Can you feel my love? 1966 01:53:45,408 --> 01:53:49,412 ♪ Loud and clear Pulls you near 1967 01:53:49,412 --> 01:53:52,415 ♪ Can you feel my love? 1968 01:53:52,415 --> 01:53:56,919 ♪ We got all the memories So much more we can see 1969 01:53:56,920 --> 01:54:00,423 ♪ Better than a first kiss Snow falling at Christmas 1970 01:54:00,924 --> 01:54:04,844 ♪ Like sleeping in on Sunday Laughter we never faked 1971 01:54:04,844 --> 01:54:09,348 ♪ Bob Marley in summer One love for each other 1972 01:54:09,349 --> 01:54:10,350 ♪ Oh, it feels like... 1973 01:54:13,353 --> 01:54:15,855 ♪ One love for each other ♪ 1974 01:57:11,864 --> 01:57:12,865 English - US - Line 21