WEBVTT 0 00:00:48.380 --> 00:00:53.009 [Male Singer]
% I have climbed the highest mountain % 2 00:00:53.092 --> 00:00:57.346 % I have run through the fields % 3 00:00:57.429 --> 00:01:01.766 % Only to be with you % 4 00:01:01.850 --> 00:01:06.562 % Only to be with you % 5 00:01:06.645 --> 00:01:11.941 % I have run, I have crawled % 6 00:01:12.025 --> 00:01:16.570 % I have scaled these city walls % 7 00:01:16.654 --> 00:01:21.074 % These city walls % 8 00:01:21.158 --> 00:01:25.745 % Only to be with you % 9 00:01:25.828 --> 00:01:31.041 % But I still haven't found % 10 00:01:31.083 --> 00:01:34.544 % What I'm looking for % 11 00:01:35.878 --> 00:01:40.048 % But I still haven't found % 12 00:01:40.090 --> 00:01:43.134 % What I'm looking for % 13 00:01:45.844 --> 00:01:47.804 [Man] Fisher, pick up. 14 00:01:47.888 --> 00:01:50.890 Fisher, it's me!
Fisher, pick up! 15 00:01:50.974 --> 00:01:54.185 I'm late, come on, come on.
I need to bounce some ideas off you. 16 00:01:54.268 --> 00:01:56.228 Mine are all boring,
done it, been there. 17 00:01:56.312 --> 00:01:57.354 Hey, Ike! 18 00:01:57.438 --> 00:02:00.607 When are you guys gonna stop
waking me up every morning? 19 00:02:00.690 --> 00:02:03.067 When your column stops
putting me to sleep. 20 00:02:03.151 --> 00:02:05.778 - Funny, funny.
- Yo, Jonah! 21 00:02:05.861 --> 00:02:07.905 Fisher, come on!
Are you really not there? 22 00:02:07.988 --> 00:02:10.115 All right, cool.
I'll talk to you later. 23 00:02:10.198 --> 00:02:13.159 Excuse me. I'm thinking of doing
an article about limousines. 24 00:02:13.242 --> 00:02:16.287 What do you think about people
who've never been in one? 25 00:02:16.328 --> 00:02:18.163 I don't know people like that. 26 00:02:18.247 --> 00:02:22.125 I need someone to bounce some ideas
off of and get the juices flowing. 27 00:02:22.167 --> 00:02:25.253 I got one hour,
27 minutes, 52 seconds. 28 00:02:25.336 --> 00:02:27.296 Hey, Ike! When are you gonna
put me in a column? 29 00:02:27.379 --> 00:02:30.257 - When your T-shirts stop shrinking.
- [Woman] Shrinks? 30 00:02:30.340 --> 00:02:33.218 -Funny. He's kidding. He's just kidding.
-Oh, forget it. 31 00:02:33.301 --> 00:02:36.512 - Here, give me $5. Give me $2.
- [Woman] No way. 32 00:02:36.595 --> 00:02:39.515 Folks, I got nice shirts here.
Look! 33 00:02:39.598 --> 00:02:41.808 "I love everybody. You're next." 34 00:02:41.892 --> 00:02:45.061 %[Female Singing] 35 00:02:56.529 --> 00:02:59.740 So what's in store for us
in tomorrow's column? 36 00:02:59.823 --> 00:03:02.534 [Groans]
I don't know yet. 37 00:03:03.576 --> 00:03:07.538 I'm, uh, kind of
a last-minute man. 38 00:03:07.580 --> 00:03:10.833 You know, till an hour or two
before deadline, I don't get any ideas. 39 00:03:12.501 --> 00:03:15.086 So you get your ideas
for your column from life. 40 00:03:15.169 --> 00:03:17.088 Start up a conversation with a woman
in a bar. 41 00:03:17.171 --> 00:03:19.840 Attack her dart playing
and try to get a rise out of her... 42 00:03:19.923 --> 00:03:23.510 while you contemplate whether
or not she's worth hitting on. 43 00:03:23.593 --> 00:03:26.304 No, I can't hit on you
till I get an idea. 44 00:03:26.387 --> 00:03:28.139 Wh-- That's flattering. 45 00:03:28.222 --> 00:03:30.557 [Ike]
No, you don't understand. 46 00:03:30.599 --> 00:03:34.102 I understand. See,
my not responding to you baiting me... 47 00:03:34.185 --> 00:03:37.897 will inspire one of those bitter
diatribes you like to write about women. 48 00:03:37.980 --> 00:03:40.274 [Ike]I don't write bitter diatribes
about women. 49 00:03:40.357 --> 00:03:43.151 - Oh-ho.
- Very often. I could. 50 00:03:43.235 --> 00:03:46.070 Only when the ideas
aren't flowing, huh? 51 00:03:46.112 --> 00:03:48.197 It's so nice to meet you,
one-minute man. 52 00:03:48.281 --> 00:03:51.241 It's last-minute man. 53 00:03:51.325 --> 00:03:53.493 Whatever. 54 00:03:53.577 --> 00:03:56.788 Want to hear something funny? For a
good-looking guy, you strike out a lot. 55 00:03:56.871 --> 00:03:59.915 - [Bartender] Have you noticed that?
- [Phone Ringing] 56 00:03:59.999 --> 00:04:02.334 - I bet it's your ex-wife.
- [Man] Excuse me. 57 00:04:02.417 --> 00:04:04.294 I've seen much worse. 58 00:04:04.377 --> 00:04:07.088 [Bartender]
No, Ike's not here. 59 00:04:07.171 --> 00:04:10.216 I say, I've seen much worse. 60 00:04:10.299 --> 00:04:12.801 - I'll tell him when he comes in.
- Excuse me? 61 00:04:12.885 --> 00:04:15.762 The brush-off. 62 00:04:15.804 --> 00:04:18.556 I've witnessed far more... 63 00:04:18.598 --> 00:04:21.684 treacherous and nefarious exits
than that. 64 00:04:22.810 --> 00:04:25.270 At least she castigated you
in private. 65 00:04:25.353 --> 00:04:28.856 Not as private as I thought.
Kevin, you got some napkins there? 66 00:04:28.940 --> 00:04:32.776 - Wiping or writing?
- I'll let you know. 67 00:04:32.818 --> 00:04:35.779 They love you.
They hate you. 68 00:04:35.821 --> 00:04:38.364 They're hot.
They're cold. They're high. 69 00:04:38.448 --> 00:04:40.408 They're up. They're down. 70 00:04:40.449 --> 00:04:44.077 This is fun making a list with you,
but I do have a column to write. 71 00:04:44.161 --> 00:04:45.954 Ike. 72 00:04:46.037 --> 00:04:50.041 But you have yet to find
a really superb idea. 73 00:04:50.124 --> 00:04:53.502 There's a girl from my hometown
that you could write about. 74 00:04:53.585 --> 00:04:55.504 Excuse me,
but we don't need any ideas. 75 00:04:55.587 --> 00:04:59.132 She likes to dump grooms at the altar.
They call her the "Runaway Bride." 76 00:04:59.215 --> 00:05:02.218 She's performed the travesty
seven or eight times. 77 00:05:02.301 --> 00:05:05.929 Turns around, runs like hell.
Bolts. Adios. 78 00:05:05.971 --> 00:05:08.640 Plows down the aisle,
knocking old ladies out of her way... 79 00:05:08.723 --> 00:05:11.517 Like the Running of the Bulls
in Pamplona. 80 00:05:11.601 --> 00:05:14.061 And guess what!
She's got the next victim all lined up. 81 00:05:14.144 --> 00:05:17.272 She's turning another body
on the spit. 82 00:05:17.355 --> 00:05:20.483 [Ike]
Okay, Italics, here we go. 83 00:05:22.902 --> 00:05:27.155 [Ike's Voice] Today is
a day of profound introspection. 84 00:05:27.239 --> 00:05:30.074 I have been accused
of using this column... 85 00:05:30.158 --> 00:05:34.286 to direct bitter diatribes
at the opposite sex. 86 00:05:34.370 --> 00:05:37.456 This uncomfortable accusation... 87 00:05:37.497 --> 00:05:41.709 has plunged me into at least 15 minutes
of serious reflection, 88 00:05:41.793 --> 00:05:43.878 from which I have emerged... 89 00:05:43.961 --> 00:05:49.257 with the conclusion that, yes,
I traffic in female stereotypes. 90 00:05:51.301 --> 00:05:54.803 "But how can one blame me when
every time I step out my front door, 91 00:05:54.845 --> 00:05:59.015 I meet fresh proof that the female
archetypes are alive and well." 92 00:05:59.099 --> 00:06:02.602 "The mother, the virgin,
the whore, the crone." 93 00:06:02.685 --> 00:06:05.563 "They're elbowing you in the subway,
stealing your cabs, 94 00:06:05.646 --> 00:06:08.315 and overwhelming you
with perfume in elevators." 95 00:06:08.398 --> 00:06:10.358 "But perhaps in fairness
to the fairer sex, 96 00:06:10.442 --> 00:06:14.612 I do need to broaden my horizon and add
some new goddesses to the pantheon." 97 00:06:14.695 --> 00:06:18.657 "I would like to nominate
for deity the cheerleader, the coed... 98 00:06:18.740 --> 00:06:21.743 and the man-eater, the last
of which concerns me most today." 99 00:06:21.826 --> 00:06:25.204 "In ancient Greece, this fearsome female
was known as Erinys, 100 00:06:25.246 --> 00:06:27.247 the devouring death goddess." 101 00:06:27.331 --> 00:06:28.999 "In India, she is Kali, 102 00:06:29.041 --> 00:06:31.543 who likes to devour
her boyfriend Shiva's entrails..." 103 00:06:31.626 --> 00:06:34.337 "while her yoni devours
his dot, dot, dot... never mind." 104 00:06:34.420 --> 00:06:39.466 "In Indonesia, the bloody-jawed man-eater
is called Ragma." 105 00:06:39.549 --> 00:06:42.927 You notice these are
all countries without cable. 106 00:06:43.011 --> 00:06:45.388 "And in Hale, Maryland, 107 00:06:45.429 --> 00:06:47.598 where she helps run
the family hardware store, 108 00:06:47.681 --> 00:06:52.352 she is known as Miss Maggie Carpenter,
a.k.a. the Runaway Bride." 109 00:06:52.435 --> 00:06:55.271 "What is unusual about
Miss Carpenter... 110 00:06:55.354 --> 00:06:59.816 is that she likes to dress her men up
as grooms before she devours them." 111 00:06:59.900 --> 00:07:04.737 One antique hot-water handle
with the "hot" still on it. 112 00:07:04.821 --> 00:07:07.573 Guaranteed to fit
any American Standard cast-iron tub... 113 00:07:07.656 --> 00:07:12.243 with a four-inch center mount
made between 1924 and 1938. 114 00:07:12.327 --> 00:07:14.370 In other words,
Mr. Paxton, 115 00:07:14.454 --> 00:07:16.497 I think you are out of the doghouse
with Mrs. Paxton. 116 00:07:16.580 --> 00:07:17.540 Hallelujah! 117 00:07:17.623 --> 00:07:19.333 I'll see you later.
I'll put it on your charge. 118 00:07:19.416 --> 00:07:23.753 There's a possibility
she hasn't seen this yet. 119 00:07:23.837 --> 00:07:27.757 Maybe she just hasn't picked up a paper.
Know what I mean? 120 00:07:27.798 --> 00:07:30.634 - Or not.
- [Man]Maggie? 121 00:07:30.717 --> 00:07:33.386 Earl, you don't need an air-conditioner.
You need an attic fan. 122 00:07:33.470 --> 00:07:36.514 There's more in the back. Hey. 123 00:07:39.683 --> 00:07:41.601 What? 124 00:07:41.685 --> 00:07:44.771 So, Mag,
you've seen this, huh? 125 00:07:44.854 --> 00:07:46.772 Yes, I've seen it. 126 00:07:47.690 --> 00:07:49.608 And it is the rudest, 127 00:07:49.692 --> 00:07:52.194 most offensive... 128 00:07:52.277 --> 00:07:55.572 joke anyone
has ever played on me! 129 00:07:55.613 --> 00:07:58.532 You guys, how long did this take you?
Where did you get it done? 130 00:07:58.616 --> 00:08:00.826 You're both creeps, by the way.
I should "disinvite" you. 131 00:08:00.909 --> 00:08:06.164 Maggie, you told us
no bachelorette jokes, so we didn't-- 132 00:08:11.793 --> 00:08:15.255 Holy moly. 133 00:08:16.964 --> 00:08:20.050 - Bag. Bag!
- She's going. She's gonna go! 134 00:08:20.134 --> 00:08:23.845 Here's the bag. Breathe! 135 00:08:23.929 --> 00:08:26.598 [Female Singer]
% Ready, ready, ready, ready % 136 00:08:26.681 --> 00:08:28.766 % Ready to run % 137 00:08:28.849 --> 00:08:32.227 % All I'm ready to do is have some fun % 138 00:08:32.311 --> 00:08:33.770 [Barks] 139 00:08:33.854 --> 00:08:40.109 % What's all this talk about love % 140 00:08:40.151 --> 00:08:42.694 [Grunting] 141 00:08:44.654 --> 00:08:47.615 [Radio] On the local front,
our town of Hale, Maryland, 142 00:08:47.699 --> 00:08:50.159 is still buzzing about
the less-than-flattering article... 143 00:08:50.242 --> 00:08:52.870 about their native daughter,
Maggie Carpenter. 144 00:08:52.953 --> 00:08:55.038 Her bridal exploits were taken
to task... 145 00:08:55.122 --> 00:08:57.707 by New York columnist
Ike Graham in USA Today. 146 00:08:57.790 --> 00:08:59.876 - Mr. Graham called her--
- [Radio Off] 147 00:08:59.959 --> 00:09:03.420 [Maggie's Voice]
Dear Editor: Greetings from the sticks. 148 00:09:03.504 --> 00:09:07.465 Perhaps you believe that
a rural education is focused mainly... 149 00:09:07.507 --> 00:09:11.760 on hog calling and tractor maintenance
rather than reading. 150 00:09:11.844 --> 00:09:13.804 Why else would you print a piece
of fiction about me and call it fact? 151 00:09:13.804 --> 00:09:15.680 Why else would you print a piece
of fiction about me and call it fact? 152 00:09:18.850 --> 00:09:21.727 I suppose Mr. Graham was too busy
thinking up slanderous statements... 153 00:09:21.811 --> 00:09:23.812 about how I dump men for kicks... 154 00:09:23.854 --> 00:09:26.690 to bother with something silly
like accuracy in reporting. 155 00:09:26.773 --> 00:09:29.692 Which is understandable, because
with a man-eater like me on the loose, 156 00:09:29.776 --> 00:09:31.694 who has time to check facts? 157 00:09:31.777 --> 00:09:34.613 - Hey, Frances, lunch today?
- No, I'm going to the bank. 158 00:09:34.696 --> 00:09:36.615 - Sure?
- Sorry, Ike. 159 00:09:36.698 --> 00:09:39.909 - All right. Hey.
- Hey. 160 00:09:39.993 --> 00:09:42.119 I'm going to put in
a good word for you. 161 00:09:42.203 --> 00:09:43.329 Don't mention my name. 162 00:09:43.370 --> 00:09:45.372 [Maggie's Voice]
That's why I was surprised to find... 163 00:09:45.414 --> 00:09:47.707 Mr. Graham's editor was a woman. 164 00:09:47.791 --> 00:09:51.043 Call me a sentimental fool, but I hoped
we man-eaters could stick together. 165 00:09:51.085 --> 00:09:53.587 "Anyway, I'm just dropping
you big-city folk this little note... 166 00:09:53.671 --> 00:09:56.173 to say that I have thought
of a ritual sacrifice..." 167 00:09:56.214 --> 00:09:58.258 "that would satisfy
my current appetite: 168 00:09:58.341 --> 00:10:00.677 "Ike Graham's column
on a platter." 169 00:10:00.718 --> 00:10:03.012 "Yours truly, Maggie Carpenter.
P.S. 170 00:10:03.054 --> 00:10:06.682 "I have enclosed a list of gross factual
misrepresentations in your article. 171 00:10:06.765 --> 00:10:09.351 There are fifteen." 172 00:10:10.435 --> 00:10:12.395 [Ike]
Funny. I like her. 173 00:10:12.436 --> 00:10:15.022 She's got spunk. 174 00:10:15.105 --> 00:10:18.692 Ike, look. She sent us this list.
Our lawyers say it's actionable. 175 00:10:18.775 --> 00:10:20.860 [Sighs] 176 00:10:20.902 --> 00:10:23.279 I left you four messages.
You don't return my calls. 177 00:10:23.362 --> 00:10:26.240 I never returned your calls.
Even when we were married I didn't-- 178 00:10:26.281 --> 00:10:31.119 -What's Fisher doing here?
-Ellie asked me to offer moral support. 179 00:10:31.202 --> 00:10:34.205 Since when does Ellie
need moral support? 180 00:10:34.246 --> 00:10:36.665 It's for you, Ike. 181 00:10:39.251 --> 00:10:41.211 What? What? 182 00:10:41.252 --> 00:10:43.379 Journalism lesson number one: 183 00:10:43.421 --> 00:10:46.548 If you fabricate your facts,
you get fired. 184 00:10:46.590 --> 00:10:50.051 Lesson number two:
Never work for your former spouse. 185 00:10:50.093 --> 00:10:54.722 That has nothing to do with it. You
cooked this story up, and you know it! 186 00:10:54.805 --> 00:10:56.807 I did not cook anything up.
I had a source. 187 00:10:56.890 --> 00:10:59.142 Someone reliable?
Some boozehound in a bar? 188 00:10:59.226 --> 00:11:00.644 In vino veritas. 189 00:11:00.727 --> 00:11:05.231 Hey, hey, hey. Don't knock drunk guys
in bars. It means they're not driving. 190 00:11:05.272 --> 00:11:07.232 Besides, lam a columnist. 191 00:11:07.274 --> 00:11:10.068 This is what columnists
are supposed to do. 192 00:11:10.110 --> 00:11:13.988 It's what you like. We push,
we stretch, we go out on a limb. 193 00:11:14.155 --> 00:11:15.698 That's what makes me good! 194 00:11:15.781 --> 00:11:19.117 No, that's what
makes you unemployed. 195 00:11:21.828 --> 00:11:24.914 All right. Let's consider
that my wrist has been slapped. 196 00:11:24.956 --> 00:11:27.958 There. Slap it.
Go ahead, just-- 197 00:11:28.042 --> 00:11:30.627 Slap my wrist.
That's done. 198 00:11:30.710 --> 00:11:36.173 Just give me a call when you feel
that I've served my time, and move on. 199 00:11:38.926 --> 00:11:41.636 This is permanent, Ike. 200 00:11:43.221 --> 00:11:46.474 If you go quietly,
I'll get you severance pay. 201 00:11:56.065 --> 00:11:58.025 [Secretary]
I'm sorry, Ike. 202 00:11:59.985 --> 00:12:02.279 [Train Whistle Blowing] 203 00:12:04.280 --> 00:12:06.574 [Crossing Bell Ringing] 204 00:12:22.129 --> 00:12:26.007 - [Maggie]Bob? Honey?
- In the kitchen! 205 00:12:26.049 --> 00:12:28.009 Honey, she canned him! Honey? 206 00:12:28.050 --> 00:12:30.844 Bob, she canned him! 207 00:12:30.886 --> 00:12:33.889 - Yea! What are you talking about?
- Listen, it's in the paper. 208 00:12:33.972 --> 00:12:35.974 - Try this on first.
- Okay. 209 00:12:36.015 --> 00:12:38.392 I wanna read it to you,
so come over this way. 210 00:12:38.476 --> 00:12:40.686 Ready?
"Dear Maggie Carpenter: 211 00:12:40.769 --> 00:12:44.064 I apologize to you
for this unfortunate matter.'' 212 00:12:44.147 --> 00:12:49.151 Here it is. "Ike Graham's column will
no longer be appearing in this paper. 213 00:12:49.235 --> 00:12:51.528 Best of luck
in your upcoming marriage." 214 00:12:51.570 --> 00:12:54.823 Okay, this is the weight of the pack
you'll be carrying in the Himalayas. 215 00:12:54.864 --> 00:12:58.826 - You let me know if it's too heavy.
- Okay. Whoa! 216 00:12:58.910 --> 00:13:02.871 A little... yeah. Yeah,
a little heavy, baby. [Laughing] 217 00:13:02.913 --> 00:13:05.206 [Screams, Laughs] 218 00:13:10.503 --> 00:13:13.630 [Phone Rings, Message Machine] Hi,
it's me. Leave a message after the beep. 219 00:13:13.714 --> 00:13:16.383 If you want to leave a fax,
buy me a fax machine. 220 00:13:16.424 --> 00:13:18.843 [Beeps]
Ike, Fisher. 221 00:13:18.885 --> 00:13:23.597 Get up. I can turn
this Runaway Bride story around. 222 00:13:23.680 --> 00:13:27.016 I'm doing a photo spread for G.Q.
today by the convey or belt. 223 00:13:27.058 --> 00:13:29.477 Meet me. I'll save your tush. 224 00:13:29.560 --> 00:13:32.938 And since I do freelance stuff
for G.Q. now, I have an idea. 225 00:13:33.021 --> 00:13:35.565 - What are you saying?
- Vindication. 226 00:13:35.649 --> 00:13:37.692 How would you like some? 227 00:13:37.734 --> 00:13:41.195 A chance to prove that although
your story wasn't entirely factual, 228 00:13:41.278 --> 00:13:43.864 your theory was correct. 229 00:13:43.947 --> 00:13:48.034 - The real story on Miss Carpenter.
- All the gory details. 230 00:13:48.117 --> 00:13:50.077 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 231 00:13:50.119 --> 00:13:53.330 [Fisher] And if she runs again,
you got a cover story. 232 00:13:54.998 --> 00:13:57.584 [Male Singers]
% Oh, here she comes % 233 00:13:57.667 --> 00:14:00.044 % Watch out, boy
she'll chew you up % 234 00:14:00.086 --> 00:14:02.505 % Oh, here she comes % 235 00:14:02.588 --> 00:14:05.424 % She's a man-eater % 236 00:14:05.465 --> 00:14:08.426 % Oh, here she comes % 237 00:14:08.468 --> 00:14:11.053 % Watch out, boy
she'll chew you up % 238 00:14:11.095 --> 00:14:13.264 % Oh, here she comes % 239 00:14:13.347 --> 00:14:16.224 % She's a man-eater % 240 00:14:16.266 --> 00:14:18.810 % She'll only come out at night % 241 00:14:18.893 --> 00:14:21.812 % The lean and hungry type % 242 00:14:21.896 --> 00:14:25.566 % Nothing is new
I've seen her here before % 243 00:14:27.359 --> 00:14:29.986 % Watching and waiting % 244 00:14:30.069 --> 00:14:35.074 % She's seated with you
but here yes are on the door % 245 00:14:37.200 --> 00:14:40.078 % I wouldn't if I were you % 246 00:14:40.119 --> 00:14:43.080 % I know what she can do % 247 00:14:43.122 --> 00:14:48.668 %She's deadly, man
She could really rip your world apart % 248 00:14:48.752 --> 00:14:51.045 % Mind over matter % 249 00:14:51.129 --> 00:14:55.924 % Oh, the beauty is there
but a beast is in the heart % 250 00:14:55.966 --> 00:14:58.468 Here you go.
Right upstairs to the left. 251 00:14:58.510 --> 00:15:00.470 Thanks. How late's
the restaurant open? 252 00:15:00.512 --> 00:15:03.931 - 8:30 every night.
- [Chuckles] That late, huh? 253 00:15:12.939 --> 00:15:15.816 [Maggie]
Cindy, can you eighty-six Sprout? 254 00:15:15.858 --> 00:15:19.152 He's licking up all the petroleum
distillates I'm trying to put in. 255 00:15:19.236 --> 00:15:21.696 Oh, sorry.
She's an obedience school dropout. 256 00:15:21.779 --> 00:15:25.616 - [Sprout Barks]
- Have a seat. 257 00:15:25.658 --> 00:15:30.662 % [Barbershop Quartet Vocalizing] % 258 00:15:30.745 --> 00:15:32.789 [Applause] 259 00:15:32.872 --> 00:15:37.334 Thank you. We'll see you, ladies and
gentlemen, in the hotel on the weekend. 260 00:15:47.384 --> 00:15:49.761 You're a goddess.
You're a goddess! 261 00:15:49.845 --> 00:15:53.890 [Into Tape Recorder]
Shazam! I think I'm in Mayberry. 262 00:15:53.973 --> 00:15:57.184 [Maggie]I didn't have to change a
gasket, just put in new hydraulic fluid. 263 00:15:57.268 --> 00:15:59.811 [Woman] Stop it! When you talk like
that, it turns me on and frightens me. 264 00:15:59.895 --> 00:16:04.482 - Oh, you turn a girl's head.
- [Laughing] Whoa! 265 00:16:04.565 --> 00:16:07.902 Excuse me. Hello? 266 00:16:07.985 --> 00:16:10.195 Excuse me. Could you help--
I'm looking for Maggie Carpenter. 267 00:16:10.237 --> 00:16:14.741 There was a, uh, note on the door
of the hardware store across the street. 268 00:16:14.824 --> 00:16:16.867 - Are you a reporter?
- What? 269 00:16:16.951 --> 00:16:18.952 It's just been
our experience that... 270 00:16:19.036 --> 00:16:21.872 anyone who comes in here
with tassels on his loafers... 271 00:16:21.913 --> 00:16:26.584 is a big-city reporter
wanting to do an interview with Maggie. 272 00:16:26.667 --> 00:16:28.669 About her upcoming
wedding and all. 273 00:16:28.711 --> 00:16:33.840 Actually about her getting
that asshole from New York fired. 274 00:16:33.882 --> 00:16:38.761 I am just such a reporter.
And who are you? 275 00:16:38.844 --> 00:16:43.265 - Peggy Flemming. Not the ice skater.
- [Laughs] 276 00:16:43.348 --> 00:16:45.350 [Peggy]
Come in, come in. 277 00:16:45.433 --> 00:16:47.685 [Ike]
Who are these lovely ladies? 278 00:16:47.727 --> 00:16:50.729 Hi. I'm Cindy.
Maggie's unmarried cousin. 279 00:16:50.813 --> 00:16:53.523 Mrs. Pressman.
No relation. Oh, sorry. 280 00:16:53.565 --> 00:16:55.567 [Peggy]
And you are? 281 00:16:55.608 --> 00:16:58.903 Looking... for Maggie. 282 00:16:58.944 --> 00:17:01.613 Maggie, someone to see you. 283 00:17:09.745 --> 00:17:15.208 I hope you've got a new angle because
it's all pretty much been covered. 284 00:17:15.291 --> 00:17:17.335 Hold on. No one interviews Maggie
in here without a haircut. 285 00:17:17.418 --> 00:17:19.837 Sorry, no.
Just got one. 286 00:17:19.920 --> 00:17:23.173 [Mrs. Pressman]
Excuse me, sir, I have a fact for you. 287 00:17:23.215 --> 00:17:27.010 - This is an actual fact.
- Yes, Mrs. Pressman? 288 00:17:27.093 --> 00:17:29.929 This is actually her fourth wedding,
not her seventh like they said. 289 00:17:30.012 --> 00:17:33.056 [Ike] I know. Tell me something.
Do you think she's... 290 00:17:33.140 --> 00:17:36.142 - gonna make it all the way this time?
- I don't know. 291 00:17:36.184 --> 00:17:39.061 [Gasps] 292 00:17:39.145 --> 00:17:42.940 She swallowed her gum.
She does that. 293 00:17:44.524 --> 00:17:47.860 Mr. Schulian, he runs the newsstand.
He's also our local bookie. 294 00:17:47.902 --> 00:17:49.862 He's given eight-to-one odds
that she won't. 295 00:17:49.946 --> 00:17:52.197 Okay. 296 00:17:52.239 --> 00:17:55.117 Instead of a haircut,
how 'bout a wash? 297 00:17:55.200 --> 00:17:57.285 Get all that city grit
out of your hair. 298 00:17:57.368 --> 00:17:59.287 You'll answer my questions? 299 00:17:59.370 --> 00:18:01.288 Mm-hmm. 300 00:18:01.372 --> 00:18:04.833 Fine! You wash, I'll ask. 301 00:18:04.916 --> 00:18:07.544 So, what do you want to know? 302 00:18:07.627 --> 00:18:09.545 When is the big day? 303 00:18:09.629 --> 00:18:13.632 - A week from Sunday.
- Let's put this here like this... 304 00:18:13.715 --> 00:18:16.718 because this aroma therapy
can get a little strong. 305 00:18:16.801 --> 00:18:19.053 The lavender,
we don't want to put you to sleep. 306 00:18:19.095 --> 00:18:20.596 [Ike] You nervous? 307 00:18:20.680 --> 00:18:23.307 I've never been more certain
of anything in my life. 308 00:18:23.390 --> 00:18:27.102 Except I've been having
all kinds of weird dreams. 309 00:18:27.185 --> 00:18:29.937 Mm-hmm. Would you like
to tell me about 'em? 310 00:18:30.021 --> 00:18:31.939 Yeah, sure. 311 00:18:32.022 --> 00:18:35.651 - [Maggie] And another one.
- Pete, I'll be right with ya. 312 00:18:35.734 --> 00:18:38.862 [Maggie] I go inside the church
and everyone I know is there. 313 00:18:38.945 --> 00:18:43.407 The creepiest part is
I look down at my dress, and it's red! 314 00:18:43.490 --> 00:18:46.660 I don't know what that means.
Red is not my color. 315 00:18:48.620 --> 00:18:50.580 What do you think? 316 00:18:50.621 --> 00:18:53.124 - I think you'd look good in red.
- No, no. 317 00:18:54.917 --> 00:18:58.545 She means about your hair. 318 00:19:00.338 --> 00:19:02.340 [Peggy Chuckles] 319 00:19:06.718 --> 00:19:09.721 My jacket, please. 320 00:19:09.804 --> 00:19:12.390 Thank you. 321 00:19:12.431 --> 00:19:17.811 Excuse me, sir. Do you know where I can
get some shampoo? Strong shampoo? 322 00:19:17.894 --> 00:19:21.647 Doc's pharmacy. Third and Elm.
Tell 'em Pete sent ya. 323 00:19:21.731 --> 00:19:23.691 You want my hat? 324 00:19:23.774 --> 00:19:27.611 No, no, I'm fine.
You might need it. 325 00:19:35.284 --> 00:19:39.663 Mr. Graham, if you're looking
for Elm Street, it's that way. 326 00:19:39.746 --> 00:19:41.914 Thank you. 327 00:19:41.998 --> 00:19:44.959 If you came down here in the pursuit of
happiness, you might as well go back... 328 00:19:45.000 --> 00:19:47.086 because you can't make me feel bad. 329 00:19:47.127 --> 00:19:51.339 I'm not trying to make you feel bad.
I'm here for vindication. 330 00:19:51.422 --> 00:19:54.508 In my heart,
I feel I'm right about you. 331 00:19:54.592 --> 00:19:56.176 Mmm. 332 00:19:56.260 --> 00:19:58.303 You got me fired, lady. 333 00:19:58.387 --> 00:20:03.141 You destroyed my reputation,
and you screwed up my hair. 334 00:20:03.182 --> 00:20:06.143 You chew up men,
spit 'em out and love it. 335 00:20:06.227 --> 00:20:09.396 You're gonna do the same thing
to this poor schmuck number four... 336 00:20:09.479 --> 00:20:11.940 that you did
to the previous three. 337 00:20:11.981 --> 00:20:13.941 You're gonna run again. 338 00:20:13.983 --> 00:20:16.235 And I'm not leaving until you do. 339 00:20:17.653 --> 00:20:22.032 I'd love to stay and chat,
but I still have my job. 340 00:20:28.871 --> 00:20:31.414 Hey, kid, kid, kid,
wait a minute. 341 00:20:31.498 --> 00:20:33.458 - Give you ten bucks for the hat.
- Sure! 342 00:20:33.499 --> 00:20:36.127 That's right. 343 00:20:40.005 --> 00:20:42.007 Sheesh. 344 00:20:49.513 --> 00:20:51.515 [Bob Chuckles] 345 00:20:51.556 --> 00:20:54.726 I'm telling you,
that is a photo opportunity. 346 00:20:54.809 --> 00:20:58.437 When I only see one dog,
I know I've had too much to drink. 347 00:21:00.147 --> 00:21:02.274 Hey, you'll never guess... 348 00:21:02.357 --> 00:21:06.736 who came crawling into town
with his tail between his legs. 349 00:21:06.819 --> 00:21:08.737 [Walter]
Who? 350 00:21:08.821 --> 00:21:10.906 Hello, Maggie. 351 00:21:10.989 --> 00:21:14.534 [Ike] I just came over
to apologize to your family. 352 00:21:14.617 --> 00:21:16.869 When I'm wrong, I'm wrong. 353 00:21:16.953 --> 00:21:19.705 I pushed a story.
I made a mistake. 354 00:21:19.788 --> 00:21:25.043 In other words, he's only human.
And he brought us a bottle of wine. 355 00:21:25.126 --> 00:21:28.921 -Made me put my hat back on.
-Yeah. It scared the hell outta Skipper. 356 00:21:29.004 --> 00:21:30.672 [Barks] 357 00:21:30.756 --> 00:21:32.966 You've gotta be kidding me. 358 00:21:33.049 --> 00:21:35.385 No, no. You should've seen Skipper.
He was like-- [Barks] 359 00:21:37.095 --> 00:21:39.680 [Howls] 360 00:21:41.640 --> 00:21:43.808 It wasn't that... funny. 361 00:21:43.892 --> 00:21:46.728 Actually, it's been quite amusing. 362 00:21:46.769 --> 00:21:50.606 Walter, here, has been sharing his
father of the bride wedding memories. 363 00:21:50.689 --> 00:21:53.275 You know what? 364 00:21:53.358 --> 00:21:57.278 I think I'll take this to the kitchen.
[Mouthing Words] 365 00:21:57.362 --> 00:22:01.198 I'll help you bring it in...
to the kitchen. 366 00:22:01.240 --> 00:22:03.492 - Check on the crabs, Bob.
- Okay. 367 00:22:03.575 --> 00:22:05.910 -[Whispers] Is he staying for dinner?
-I don't know. 368 00:22:05.952 --> 00:22:09.622 I hope they don't have a fight. You
don't think they'd call it off, do you? 369 00:22:09.705 --> 00:22:14.084 Wedding cake freezes. This we know.
[Chuckles] 370 00:22:14.126 --> 00:22:18.629 - You know, your daughter is such--
- [Gasps] Oh, I'm sorry. 371 00:22:18.713 --> 00:22:21.298 No, no, that's all right,
Grandma. That's fine. 372 00:22:21.382 --> 00:22:23.342 She's such a lovely girl. 373 00:22:23.425 --> 00:22:26.261 Yeah. Well,
like her mother. Look. 374 00:22:26.344 --> 00:22:28.638 May she rest in peace. 375 00:22:28.721 --> 00:22:31.599 We were all so proud of Maggie
when she was in school. 376 00:22:31.640 --> 00:22:35.143 She won that American Legion
scholarship to college. 377 00:22:35.227 --> 00:22:36.978 She studied industrial design. 378 00:22:37.062 --> 00:22:40.815 I can't see her leaving multiple grooms
in the dust like that. 379 00:22:40.898 --> 00:22:43.817 Oh, yes, you can.
She's got it all on tape. 380 00:22:45.110 --> 00:22:48.947 - Tape?
- Yeah, they're all right there. 381 00:22:48.988 --> 00:22:51.282 You got tapes of the wedding? 382 00:22:51.324 --> 00:22:53.409 Lee, at the hotel,
videos weddings. 383 00:22:53.492 --> 00:22:58.705 Course Maggie didn't know she was
gonna be running the 100-yarddash. 384 00:22:58.788 --> 00:23:02.458 - I gotta say, she makes real good time.
- Bingo! 385 00:23:02.541 --> 00:23:05.168 Maggie may not be
Hale's longest running joke, 386 00:23:05.252 --> 00:23:07.170 but she is certainly the fastest. 387 00:23:07.254 --> 00:23:10.006 Ha, ha. 388 00:23:12.675 --> 00:23:15.969 Maggie's mom and I
were only blessed with one child, 389 00:23:16.011 --> 00:23:18.013 not for a lack of trying. 390 00:23:18.096 --> 00:23:20.098 This is good, Dad.
Don't leave anything out. 391 00:23:21.182 --> 00:23:23.184 I consider it a bonus... 392 00:23:23.267 --> 00:23:25.936 [Skipper Barks] 393 00:23:25.978 --> 00:23:29.606 that I'm actually able to plan
and pay for so many weddings. 394 00:23:29.689 --> 00:23:32.024 Not this one.
This one's on me. 395 00:23:32.108 --> 00:23:34.735 Oh! That's fair. 396 00:23:34.818 --> 00:23:38.989 I don't do it on purpose, and
I have no intentions of doing it again. 397 00:23:39.072 --> 00:23:41.908 That's right, Maggie.
Just keep your eye on the ball. 398 00:23:44.160 --> 00:23:46.411 Sports psychology. 399 00:23:46.495 --> 00:23:51.999 Bob is the head of
the P.E. department at the high school. 400 00:23:52.083 --> 00:23:55.753 And he coaches the football team.
And he's climbed Everest. 401 00:23:57.838 --> 00:24:00.590 - Everest? Is it true?
- [Maggie] Twice. 402 00:24:00.673 --> 00:24:02.425 Without oxygen. 403 00:24:02.508 --> 00:24:05.636 - My girl, she likes to brag about me.
- I do. 404 00:24:06.762 --> 00:24:09.806 Maggie's training
for our wedding night. 405 00:24:09.889 --> 00:24:12.475 I'm taking her trekking on Annapurna
for our honeymoon. 406 00:24:12.558 --> 00:24:15.769 - Oh, how romantic!
- We think so. 407 00:24:15.853 --> 00:24:20.273 Nothing like sharing your nuptial bed
with two Sherpas and a yak. 408 00:24:20.357 --> 00:24:22.608 [Laughing] 409 00:24:25.069 --> 00:24:28.071 Hey, Ike, how's it going? 410 00:24:28.155 --> 00:24:31.866 You won't believe what
I'm looking at here. I got a video... 411 00:24:31.950 --> 00:24:33.868 of all three train wrecks. 412 00:24:33.951 --> 00:24:38.247 [Chavez]
Here's my bride, who's my pride. 413 00:24:38.330 --> 00:24:40.790 I'll never hide
when she's by my side. 414 00:24:40.874 --> 00:24:43.376 This is for you, Maggie,
my "Sugar Magnolia." 415 00:24:43.459 --> 00:24:48.881 [Ike] You want the truth?
You want the facts? I got 'em. 416 00:24:53.384 --> 00:24:55.553 I'll send you a copy
of the notes. 417 00:24:55.636 --> 00:24:57.763 Good weekend reading for you. 418 00:24:57.846 --> 00:24:59.723 Love to Ellie. Okay, bye. 419 00:25:02.017 --> 00:25:04.143 [Male Singer]
% Sweet blossom come on % 420 00:25:04.268 --> 00:25:05.519 % Under the willow % 421 00:25:05.603 --> 00:25:08.272 % We can have high times
if you'll abide % 422 00:25:08.355 --> 00:25:11.108 % We can discover
the wonders of nature % 423 00:25:11.149 --> 00:25:16.279 % Rolling in the rushes
down by the riverside % 424 00:25:17.821 --> 00:25:20.240 % She's got everything
delightful % 425 00:25:20.324 --> 00:25:23.201 % She's got everything I need % 426 00:25:23.284 --> 00:25:26.454 % Takes the wheel
when I'm seeing double % 427 00:25:26.537 --> 00:25:29.081 % Pays my ticket when I speed % 428 00:25:31.291 --> 00:25:33.209 [Music Stops] 429 00:25:33.293 --> 00:25:36.295 Okay, preacher man, let's go! 430 00:25:36.337 --> 00:25:39.965 -[Chavez] Maggie, where're you goin'?
-[Maggie] Sam! 431 00:25:40.007 --> 00:25:43.343 -[Maggie]Sam. Get back on the bike.
-Okay. How was the wedding? 432 00:25:43.426 --> 00:25:47.221 Shorter than we planned.
Just go. 433 00:25:47.305 --> 00:25:50.140 [Chavez]
Okay, peace, baby. 434 00:25:52.017 --> 00:25:54.019 [Video Fast-Forwarding] 435 00:25:54.102 --> 00:25:56.104 %[Organ] 436 00:26:16.329 --> 00:26:19.915 [Female Singer]
% ["Ave Maria"] 437 00:26:32.884 --> 00:26:36.721 [Concerned Murmuring] 438 00:26:36.804 --> 00:26:40.516 -[Man] Where is she going?
-[Woman] Look, she's leaving. 439 00:26:40.558 --> 00:26:44.728 - [Woman #2] She forgot her purse.
- No, she didn't forget her purse. 440 00:26:44.811 --> 00:26:47.480 [Walter]
Go after her! Do something! 441 00:26:50.900 --> 00:26:53.193 [Chuckles]
I don't believe this. 442 00:27:15.212 --> 00:27:17.922 [Minister] Dearly beloved,
we're gathered here today-- 443 00:27:18.006 --> 00:27:20.550 [Whinnies] 444 00:27:20.633 --> 00:27:24.970 Could we hold the horse, please?
What's wrong with the horse? 445 00:27:25.053 --> 00:27:28.640 The horse seems more jittery
than the bride. 446 00:27:55.579 --> 00:27:57.247 I like the white tuxedo. 447 00:27:57.289 --> 00:27:59.582 Yeah, but he's no good
'cause he's too blond. 448 00:27:59.666 --> 00:28:02.793 All right. Then we just go
with something very traditional. 449 00:28:02.877 --> 00:28:06.922 He's handsome.
Maybe a little too dark for Bob. 450 00:28:06.963 --> 00:28:10.425 Yeah, but he's got
the "Bobster's" eyes. 451 00:28:10.466 --> 00:28:13.928 No, no, no, no. The Bobster's eyes
are closer set. Yeah. 452 00:28:13.969 --> 00:28:16.180 - Hello! Hi.
- Hi. 453 00:28:16.263 --> 00:28:19.391 -Could I have two cups of coffee? And--
-Yes. 454 00:28:19.474 --> 00:28:22.185 [Sniffs]
Mmm. What is that wonderful smell? 455 00:28:22.268 --> 00:28:24.812 Oh, the cinnamon rolls! 456 00:28:24.895 --> 00:28:27.230 - Could I have two of those? Thank you.
- Yeah, sure. 457 00:28:27.314 --> 00:28:30.733 Okay. Uh, Maggie,
I think this makes the best you. 458 00:28:30.900 --> 00:28:32.360 [Whispering] Okay. 459 00:28:32.443 --> 00:28:37.406 Oh, let's see. Look at that. 460 00:28:37.489 --> 00:28:39.532 Excuse me. 461 00:28:39.616 --> 00:28:43.327 Oh, look at that. 462 00:28:43.411 --> 00:28:46.080 Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam! 463 00:28:46.163 --> 00:28:50.792 Ow, ow, ow!
Help me! Help me! 464 00:28:50.834 --> 00:28:53.711 [Sighs]
Yep, that'd be her. 465 00:28:55.337 --> 00:28:58.131 You must be
that Mr. Graham fella. 466 00:28:58.173 --> 00:29:00.300 - Yes, I am! And you are?
- [Laughing] 467 00:29:00.342 --> 00:29:03.219 - I'm Betty Trout.
- Hi, Betty! 468 00:29:03.302 --> 00:29:06.639 Okay, I guess you'll be
the one making the cake. 469 00:29:06.680 --> 00:29:08.515 Yes, I am. Sure. 470 00:29:08.599 --> 00:29:11.434 I'm also told
that you will be throwing-- 471 00:29:11.518 --> 00:29:14.145 I'm throwing the luau for Maggie. 472 00:29:14.187 --> 00:29:16.981 Pre-wedding luau! 473 00:29:17.064 --> 00:29:19.191 If you're still in town,
you should stop by. 474 00:29:19.274 --> 00:29:21.234 No, no, he doesn't want to come. 475 00:29:21.318 --> 00:29:23.361 I'd love to come.
[Bell Rings] 476 00:29:23.444 --> 00:29:26.072 I will be there. Thank you. 477 00:29:26.155 --> 00:29:30.158 Is that what you're going to do now?
Follow me around everywhere I go? 478 00:29:30.242 --> 00:29:31.409 No. 479 00:29:31.493 --> 00:29:34.579 I'll be back, Betty. 480 00:29:34.662 --> 00:29:37.540 Bye, Mr. Graham. 481 00:29:37.581 --> 00:29:39.917 - He's not a nice person.
- Well, I know. 482 00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:43.628 That's my pick.
The eyes are perfect. 483 00:29:43.711 --> 00:29:47.965 [Cheerleaders]
We always win. We never fail. 484 00:29:48.048 --> 00:29:52.469 We're the Comets, so go to Hale!
% Let's go, Comets % 485 00:29:52.552 --> 00:29:56.222 % Let's go
Let's go, Comets, let's go % 486 00:29:56.305 --> 00:29:59.266 - Hi, Miss Carpenter.
- Hey, Kendall. 487 00:30:00.684 --> 00:30:05.480 Maggie, don't marry Coach.
Marry me. I love you. 488 00:30:05.563 --> 00:30:10.359 You're jail bait, Dennis. Go away.
Go away. Run your laps. Go, go! 489 00:30:10.400 --> 00:30:14.612 [Bob]
Drive, drive, drive! From the hips! 490 00:30:14.696 --> 00:30:16.864 Keep it low now, keep it low! 491 00:30:16.948 --> 00:30:20.576 [Whistle Blows] Good job, gentlemen.
All right, special teams. 492 00:30:20.659 --> 00:30:23.245 Special teams. 493 00:30:23.328 --> 00:30:26.205 - Hey, honey, how are you?
- Good. 494 00:30:26.247 --> 00:30:29.083 What is he up to now? 495 00:30:29.166 --> 00:30:31.418 Ike just dropped by
to check out the team. 496 00:30:31.501 --> 00:30:33.170 And to talk about you! 497 00:30:33.253 --> 00:30:35.046 - Ahh!
- Yes! 498 00:30:35.130 --> 00:30:37.590 You aren't making friends
with this man, are you? 499 00:30:37.632 --> 00:30:41.009 I'm just bragging
about how good you are. 500 00:30:41.093 --> 00:30:44.512 - And how I'm the luckiest man alive.
- Mm-hmm! 501 00:30:45.680 --> 00:30:47.390 Sweetie. 502 00:30:47.432 --> 00:30:50.934 Well, I better be moving. 503 00:30:51.018 --> 00:30:53.437 Got a lot of work to do today. 504 00:30:53.478 --> 00:30:55.897 - See you two lovebirds later.
- See you at the weddin'. 505 00:30:55.939 --> 00:30:59.859 - Yeah. Thanks for the jacket.
- You invited him to the wedding? 506 00:30:59.942 --> 00:31:03.945 % Go, go, Comets
Let's go % 507 00:31:04.029 --> 00:31:06.239 Don't you realize he's writing
another article about me? 508 00:31:06.281 --> 00:31:07.115 Sure. 509 00:31:07.198 --> 00:31:12.870 But you're not runnin'. Come on. Give
me some of that homemade sunshine. 510 00:31:12.953 --> 00:31:17.665 Boys, take my princess
for a ride on her chariot. 511 00:31:17.749 --> 00:31:19.584 Oh, my--
[Laughing] 512 00:31:25.964 --> 00:31:28.216 Bless me, Father,
for I have sinned. 513 00:31:28.299 --> 00:31:32.761 My last confession was--
Well, anyway. 514 00:31:32.845 --> 00:31:35.597 I have sort of
a technical question. 515 00:31:35.680 --> 00:31:38.725 I've been having bad thoughts. 516 00:31:38.808 --> 00:31:41.644 Reallybadthoughts. 517 00:31:41.727 --> 00:31:44.605 - Of an impure nature?
- No, no. 518 00:31:44.646 --> 00:31:50.568 I want to destroy this man's life,
career, everything. I want revenge! 519 00:31:50.651 --> 00:31:53.987 Now, on the sin scale,
howbadis that? 520 00:31:54.071 --> 00:31:57.365 Can I... "Hail Mary"
my way out of that? 521 00:31:57.449 --> 00:32:00.993 -My child, any sin in one's heart is a--
-The name is Maggie. 522 00:32:01.077 --> 00:32:03.620 It was this side of ten years ago
you had your tongue down my throat. 523 00:32:03.704 --> 00:32:06.748 So don't "my child" me, Brian, okay?
It annoys me. 524 00:32:06.832 --> 00:32:09.209 Maggie, don't get so upset. 525 00:32:09.292 --> 00:32:12.461 Hey, hey! Don't-- Brian, talk to me.
I need to talk to you. 526 00:32:12.545 --> 00:32:14.046 Maggie, Maggie, Maggie. 527 00:32:14.129 --> 00:32:16.798 You're not even Catholic
so you really shouldn't be here. 528 00:32:16.882 --> 00:32:20.843 I'm sorry. I'm just so stressed out
about this slimeball reporter. 529 00:32:20.885 --> 00:32:23.846 And I wanted to come and tell you
that he might stop by here... 530 00:32:23.887 --> 00:32:26.223 and ask you all kinds
of ridiculous questions. 531 00:32:26.306 --> 00:32:29.267 Well, he only actually asked me
one ridiculous question. 532 00:32:29.350 --> 00:32:31.310 The rest weren't so bad. 533 00:32:31.352 --> 00:32:35.022 What? Oh, you talked to him? 534 00:32:35.105 --> 00:32:38.441 Did you tell him
we dated before you were a priest? 535 00:32:38.525 --> 00:32:42.028 Of course.
I think I only did you good. 536 00:32:42.111 --> 00:32:44.363 W-What exactly did he ask? 537 00:32:44.446 --> 00:32:47.991 - Am I too late, Father?
- No, no. 538 00:32:48.033 --> 00:32:51.536 - It won't take long. Just two venials.
- Okay. 539 00:32:51.619 --> 00:32:54.080 Um, just respectful things. 540 00:32:54.163 --> 00:32:57.499 What kind of music did you like?
What did we have in common? 541 00:32:57.582 --> 00:33:01.669 Did you ruin my life
when you left me at the altar? 542 00:33:01.753 --> 00:33:04.213 Uh, what did you say? 543 00:33:04.296 --> 00:33:06.757 I said, you know,
how could I be angry... 544 00:33:06.840 --> 00:33:11.844 when this is clearly as God
intended for it to be for me? 545 00:33:11.970 --> 00:33:14.305 Good one! Thanks. 546 00:33:14.388 --> 00:33:19.267 But, actually,
it's, it's really, really how I feel. 547 00:33:21.936 --> 00:33:23.354 Of course. God, yes. 548 00:33:23.437 --> 00:33:25.439 Not... [Whispers] God. 549 00:33:25.523 --> 00:33:26.982 [Whispers]
Sorry. 550 00:33:27.066 --> 00:33:29.276 I better go.
The man is a lunatic. 551 00:33:29.359 --> 00:33:32.195 But I think I know exactly
where he's going next. 552 00:33:32.278 --> 00:33:34.197 [Whispering]
God bless. 553 00:33:35.614 --> 00:33:37.866 Oh! Purse. 554 00:33:37.950 --> 00:33:40.994 Forgot my purse. 555 00:33:41.077 --> 00:33:43.413 Hi, sorry. Purse. 556 00:33:43.496 --> 00:33:45.706 Good luck. 557 00:33:45.790 --> 00:33:48.500 What was the one ridiculous question
that he asked? 558 00:33:48.584 --> 00:33:51.670 He wanted to know
how you liked your eggs. 559 00:33:51.753 --> 00:33:53.546 Oh, weird. 560 00:33:53.629 --> 00:33:55.756 Like a person's gonna
remember after all this time. 561 00:33:55.840 --> 00:33:59.801 Scrambled with salt, pepper and dill.
Same as me. 562 00:34:03.930 --> 00:34:06.265 I'm sorry I hurt you, Brian. 563 00:34:07.891 --> 00:34:12.062 Maggie, I'm happy now... here.
It's where I'm supposed to be. 564 00:34:12.145 --> 00:34:16.524 But... if you ever do decide to become
a Catholic, will you do me this favor? 565 00:34:16.607 --> 00:34:18.525 Confess to Father Patrick. 566 00:34:18.609 --> 00:34:21.194 Of course. 567 00:34:35.998 --> 00:34:38.542 - Gill? Lydia?
- Mags! 568 00:34:38.626 --> 00:34:41.378 Hey, look, the tape. Remember? 569 00:34:41.461 --> 00:34:43.421 Radio City Music Hall concert... 570 00:34:43.505 --> 00:34:46.466 when Jerry was on "Ripple,"
and I'm going like, "Dude, let me jam." 571 00:34:46.549 --> 00:34:48.592 - Gill, listen--
- I'll play it for you. 572 00:34:48.676 --> 00:34:51.595 - You remember, Maggie. You were there.
- Can you focus on me? 573 00:34:51.678 --> 00:34:54.431 There's this reporter
who's making my life a living hell. 574 00:34:54.514 --> 00:34:55.848 Okay. 575 00:34:55.932 --> 00:34:58.559 And whatever you do, 576 00:34:58.642 --> 00:35:02.562 do not show him that picture of me
from the concert in San Francisco. 577 00:35:02.646 --> 00:35:04.689 - Okay? Can you--
- [Ike Laughing] 578 00:35:04.773 --> 00:35:09.151 - What is that?
- Uh-- Wait. San Francisco? 579 00:35:09.235 --> 00:35:11.778 But we went there a few times.
There's a lot of pictures. 580 00:35:11.862 --> 00:35:14.864 Which picture? Because one time
we had a flat tire. Remember? 581 00:35:14.948 --> 00:35:16.616 Imagine! 582 00:35:16.699 --> 00:35:22.120 Maggie Carpenter
topless in a public arena. 583 00:35:22.162 --> 00:35:24.831 Mmm. Oh, yeah. 584 00:35:24.914 --> 00:35:28.125 I see it was
a very chilly evening. 585 00:35:28.209 --> 00:35:30.461 Mm-hmm. 586 00:35:33.463 --> 00:35:36.382 What's really interesting
about this, though, 587 00:35:36.466 --> 00:35:40.386 is that you can't see
that rose tattoo... 588 00:35:40.469 --> 00:35:44.222 - on your back.
- [Chuckles] 589 00:35:44.306 --> 00:35:47.975 Oh, yeah. Ike bet me 50 bucks
that you don't still have it. 590 00:35:48.059 --> 00:35:51.395 I said, "You're on, man.
Maggie loved that thing." 591 00:35:51.478 --> 00:35:54.481 And, seriously, I mean,
I could use 50 bucks. 592 00:35:54.564 --> 00:35:57.650 - Mm-hmm.
- Maggie? 593 00:35:57.734 --> 00:35:59.652 Just-- 594 00:36:03.447 --> 00:36:05.657 Look, I'm not gonna show
you guys anything. 595 00:36:05.699 --> 00:36:09.494 I am a soon-to-be-married woman.
So just give me the photograph! 596 00:36:09.535 --> 00:36:11.579 I would love to give you this.
Believe me, I would. 597 00:36:11.662 --> 00:36:15.540 Just give us a quick gander
at that rose, 598 00:36:15.624 --> 00:36:17.542 and I'll gladly
turn it over to you. 599 00:36:17.625 --> 00:36:20.419 Fine. Fine. Okay, fine. 600 00:36:22.171 --> 00:36:24.506 Okay? All right? 601 00:36:24.548 --> 00:36:27.300 - [Clears Throat] Satisfied?
- Completely. 602 00:36:27.384 --> 00:36:31.971 - Maggie, you got it removed?
- Gill-- 603 00:36:32.054 --> 00:36:35.474 Gill, I'll go you double or nothing
it was a stick on. 604 00:36:37.517 --> 00:36:39.435 Maggie? 605 00:36:43.189 --> 00:36:45.816 Gill, I am... 606 00:36:45.899 --> 00:36:48.693 really, really... 607 00:36:48.777 --> 00:36:51.487 afraid of needles. 608 00:36:51.571 --> 00:36:53.656 - But that doesn't make me a bad person.
- Look. 609 00:36:53.739 --> 00:36:56.700 Look! Look! 610 00:36:56.742 --> 00:36:59.077 I think this man is heartbroken. 611 00:36:59.160 --> 00:37:01.329 - No, he's not.
- I think I am. 612 00:37:02.663 --> 00:37:04.998 No, you're, you're not! 613 00:37:05.082 --> 00:37:08.710 You have your guitar,
and you have Lydia. You're not-- 614 00:37:08.793 --> 00:37:11.629 % [Guitar] 615 00:37:11.712 --> 00:37:15.049 We'll talk about this later. Okay? 616 00:37:20.428 --> 00:37:22.722 Hey, Ike? 617 00:37:22.805 --> 00:37:26.016 - What would Jerry do?
- He'd play. 618 00:37:26.100 --> 00:37:28.852 -Jerry would play!
- He would play! 619 00:37:41.362 --> 00:37:43.281 Well, there's Ike... 620 00:37:43.364 --> 00:37:45.741 with the mayor
and the police chief. 621 00:37:45.783 --> 00:37:47.784 Boy, he sure makes friends easy. 622 00:37:47.826 --> 00:37:50.787 That's pretty cool. 623 00:37:58.418 --> 00:38:00.211 - Oh, yeah!
- That's right! 624 00:38:05.299 --> 00:38:07.760 - Hey, you're that reporter, right?
- Yeah. 625 00:38:07.843 --> 00:38:10.262 There he is again! 626 00:38:10.345 --> 00:38:12.513 Snoop Doggy Dogg! 627 00:38:12.597 --> 00:38:15.808 - I'm going to marry Maggie someday.
- Oh, really? 628 00:38:15.891 --> 00:38:19.269 He's an attractive man. 629 00:38:19.311 --> 00:38:23.022 The vicious reporter is attractive?
You're saying viciousness is attractive? 630 00:38:23.106 --> 00:38:25.274 No, I'm not saying
viciousness is attractive. 631 00:38:29.111 --> 00:38:30.821 He's coming. 632 00:38:30.904 --> 00:38:32.238 I better go-- 633 00:38:32.322 --> 00:38:34.824 No, no, no.
Don't leave. Uh, act natural. 634 00:38:34.907 --> 00:38:38.077 - Okay.
- He can probably read lips. 635 00:38:38.160 --> 00:38:42.163 The famous Swenson triplets.
Gimme 15. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well done. 636 00:38:42.247 --> 00:38:45.625 - I will handle this.
- Don't move your lips! Okay? Go on. 637 00:38:45.666 --> 00:38:49.294 I will handle this!
I won't say anything. 638 00:38:49.336 --> 00:38:51.546 - Okay.
- I'll handle it. 639 00:38:53.381 --> 00:38:57.176 Yeah, Cory! 640 00:38:57.259 --> 00:38:59.219 - Hey, Peggy Flemming!
- Hey. 641 00:38:59.303 --> 00:39:01.972 - Not the ice skater.
- That's Maggie's seat. 642 00:39:02.013 --> 00:39:04.641 Yes, and this must be her beer too. 643 00:39:04.724 --> 00:39:06.809 - [Cory]Hey!
- Hey, sweetie! 644 00:39:06.892 --> 00:39:09.812 [Ike]
That your husband out here? 645 00:39:09.895 --> 00:39:12.814 - Yeah.
- This is Cory? Cory Flemming? 646 00:39:12.856 --> 00:39:15.149 He's a radio announcer here,
isn't he? 647 00:39:15.191 --> 00:39:18.569 Yeah, that's right. Have you heard his
morning show, "Wake up with Flemm"? 648 00:39:20.154 --> 00:39:22.072 Not yet. 649 00:39:22.155 --> 00:39:26.576 [Grandma Over P.A.]Now up,
Atlantic Hotel's Lee Mistlehorne. 650 00:39:26.659 --> 00:39:28.702 He actually made
the all-stars in high school. 651 00:39:28.786 --> 00:39:31.038 Really?
You must be proud of him. 652 00:39:31.121 --> 00:39:33.039 I didn't really
know him back then. 653 00:39:33.123 --> 00:39:37.960 He was actually dating Maggie...
at the time. 654 00:39:38.044 --> 00:39:42.506 I mean, he never really--
They were never gonna... 655 00:39:42.589 --> 00:39:45.425 get engaged or anything,
it was just like, you know. 656 00:39:45.508 --> 00:39:48.427 Sometimes he'd call her Magpie,
and it was really irritating. 657 00:39:48.511 --> 00:39:51.472 But-- I don't know why
I'm telling you this. 658 00:39:51.555 --> 00:39:53.015 No, this is good. 659 00:39:55.517 --> 00:39:57.810 - He's stealing third!
- Yes! 660 00:39:57.894 --> 00:39:59.603 [Bob]
Safe. 661 00:39:59.687 --> 00:40:02.356 Excellent. 662 00:40:05.859 --> 00:40:08.236 Yes! Yes! Whoo! 663 00:40:09.737 --> 00:40:12.030 Safe! 664 00:40:12.114 --> 00:40:15.617 - I love it!
- Uh-huh! 665 00:40:15.700 --> 00:40:18.327 - Good one!
- Magpie! 666 00:40:20.287 --> 00:40:22.206 Just-- 667 00:40:22.289 --> 00:40:24.207 Excellent! 668 00:40:25.834 --> 00:40:30.004 It's nice that
they're... still friends. 669 00:40:32.131 --> 00:40:36.885 Yeah, I mean, that was just a long time
ago. And, you know, it's just-- 670 00:40:39.262 --> 00:40:42.181 So-- Excuse me. 671 00:40:42.264 --> 00:40:44.975 - You all right?
- Yeah! 672 00:40:45.058 --> 00:40:47.644 [Grandma Over P.A.] That makes it
Alumni, nine, Hale students, eight. 673 00:40:47.727 --> 00:40:51.313 - Hey, Peggy?
- Hey! 674 00:40:51.397 --> 00:40:56.401 [Grandma] Cookies for today's game
were donated by Betty Trout. 675 00:40:57.610 --> 00:41:01.530 Now up for the Comets,
Jordan Hill. 676 00:41:01.614 --> 00:41:03.574 You have been here,
what, like three minutes? 677 00:41:03.657 --> 00:41:05.117 What did you do to her? 678 00:41:05.200 --> 00:41:09.621 -You could just turn that finger around.
-Excuse me? 679 00:41:09.704 --> 00:41:13.457 Oh, Cory, Cory, Cory!
Pow, pow, pow, pow. What is this about? 680 00:41:13.540 --> 00:41:16.460 You know what? We have all
been friends our entire lives. 681 00:41:16.543 --> 00:41:19.420 A type of relationship
that you obviously don't understand. 682 00:41:19.504 --> 00:41:22.798 I'm not the only one
who does not understand. 683 00:41:22.882 --> 00:41:26.468 The U.S.S. Maggie
leaves quite a wake. 684 00:41:26.551 --> 00:41:28.511 Excuse me. 685 00:41:33.682 --> 00:41:37.561 Pot-stirrer man. 686 00:41:44.358 --> 00:41:46.818 [Grandma] Cory Flemming
to Lee Mistlehorne to Dr. Ettinger. 687 00:41:46.902 --> 00:41:49.654 Hey. All right. 688 00:41:50.822 --> 00:41:53.574 That's cheering.
I'm cheering normal. 689 00:41:53.657 --> 00:41:56.702 Cheer. Normal. 690 00:41:58.870 --> 00:42:02.832 - [Woman] Good morning, Peggy.
- Good morning. 691 00:42:12.799 --> 00:42:15.509 Do you think I flirt with Cory? 692 00:42:17.177 --> 00:42:21.139 Good morning to you too.
You look good. 693 00:42:21.181 --> 00:42:23.933 Thank you. 694 00:42:24.016 --> 00:42:26.393 Do you think I flirt with Cory? 695 00:42:26.477 --> 00:42:30.313 - Yes.
- I don't mean to. 696 00:42:30.397 --> 00:42:33.566 I know. I think sometimes
you just sort of... 697 00:42:33.649 --> 00:42:37.027 spaz out with excess
flirtatious energy, 698 00:42:37.069 --> 00:42:40.905 and it just lands
on anything male that moves. 699 00:42:40.989 --> 00:42:43.741 Anything male that moves? 700 00:42:43.825 --> 00:42:47.244 As opposed to anything male
that doesn't? 701 00:42:48.745 --> 00:42:52.248 Well, like certain kinds of coral. 702 00:42:53.249 --> 00:42:56.043 I'm definitely going to have
to kill myself today. 703 00:42:56.085 --> 00:42:57.086 Why? 704 00:42:57.169 --> 00:43:01.214 Because you think I'm all like,
"Hey, man, check me out." 705 00:43:01.298 --> 00:43:05.843 No, I don't.
I think you're like... 706 00:43:05.926 --> 00:43:09.888 "I'm charming and mysterious
in a way that even I don't understand, 707 00:43:09.930 --> 00:43:15.643 and something about me is crying out
for protection from a big man like you." 708 00:43:15.726 --> 00:43:17.770 It's very hard to compete with. 709 00:43:17.853 --> 00:43:21.523 Especially as... married women
who've lost our mystery. 710 00:43:21.606 --> 00:43:25.776 Lost-- You have--
You are totally mysterious. 711 00:43:25.860 --> 00:43:27.903 No. I'm weird. 712 00:43:27.987 --> 00:43:31.740 Weird and mysterious
are two very different things. 713 00:43:31.823 --> 00:43:35.243 - I'm weird.
- No, you're quirky. 714 00:43:35.284 --> 00:43:40.080 Quirky and weird
are two very different things. 715 00:43:42.082 --> 00:43:46.377 Peggy, I think there
is a distinct possibility... 716 00:43:46.461 --> 00:43:50.881 that I am profoundly
and irreversibly screwed up. 717 00:43:52.632 --> 00:43:54.551 Despite that, 718 00:43:54.634 --> 00:43:58.012 I love you and I promise... 719 00:43:58.095 --> 00:44:00.431 to no longer flirt with Cory. 720 00:44:01.890 --> 00:44:05.268 Maggie, I'm not worried
about you and Cory, 721 00:44:05.310 --> 00:44:07.812 or me and Cory, 722 00:44:07.895 --> 00:44:11.690 or you being
irreversibly screwed up. 723 00:44:11.773 --> 00:44:15.068 Maggie, you've been like this
since we were kids. 724 00:44:15.151 --> 00:44:19.572 And all I'm thinking is,
now that you're aware of it, 725 00:44:19.655 --> 00:44:21.949 and that it hurts
people's feelings sometimes, 726 00:44:21.990 --> 00:44:26.911 maybe it's time to get on with life,
and commit to someone of your own, 727 00:44:26.995 --> 00:44:29.747 like Bob, if he's the one. 728 00:44:30.873 --> 00:44:32.791 I know. 729 00:44:36.336 --> 00:44:40.089 Is there anything I can do to...
make it up to you? 730 00:44:40.172 --> 00:44:43.925 Well, there's always... 731 00:44:44.009 --> 00:44:47.804 the thing that brings
warmth to my heart, 732 00:44:47.887 --> 00:44:49.847 and that is duckbill platypus. 733 00:44:49.930 --> 00:44:54.142 Duckbill-- That is only funny
in like Camp Birchwood on... 734 00:44:54.226 --> 00:44:55.977 Just do it. 735 00:44:56.019 --> 00:44:58.312 a trip with the tent and my leg
as the pole and it's raining. 736 00:44:58.354 --> 00:45:00.314 And you know.
That's the only time that's funny. 737 00:45:00.356 --> 00:45:03.483 Let's just see. 738 00:45:05.193 --> 00:45:06.820 Oh. 739 00:45:13.200 --> 00:45:16.328 [Chuckling] 740 00:45:17.704 --> 00:45:20.539 It's so humiliating. 741 00:45:20.623 --> 00:45:22.374 Thank you. 742 00:45:24.168 --> 00:45:26.294 Thank you. 743 00:45:26.503 --> 00:45:28.755 [Barbershop Quartet]
% Farewell, ladies % 744 00:45:28.838 --> 00:45:33.008 % Farewell, ladies
We're going to leave you now % 745 00:45:33.050 --> 00:45:37.345 % Merrily we roll along
roll along, roll along % 746 00:45:39.055 --> 00:45:41.974 Lee. Hey, wake up. Hey! 747 00:45:42.058 --> 00:45:43.851 - Hello?
- Hi. 748 00:45:43.934 --> 00:45:46.686 Gimme the key to the reporter's
room. I wanna snoop around. 749 00:45:46.770 --> 00:45:48.855 - Come on, quick. Wake up.
- Second floor. 750 00:45:48.938 --> 00:45:51.857 - Thank you.
- Don't take anything big. 751 00:45:51.899 --> 00:45:54.318 Okay. 752 00:46:10.665 --> 00:46:12.583 Shh. 753 00:46:18.755 --> 00:46:20.673 Hmm. 754 00:46:21.924 --> 00:46:23.884 Hopefully his favorite. 755 00:46:23.926 --> 00:46:26.595 [Fisher Over Cell Phone]
My theory is she's running... 756 00:46:26.678 --> 00:46:28.680 because she gets negative attention. 757 00:46:28.763 --> 00:46:30.723 Negative attention is attention. 758 00:46:30.765 --> 00:46:34.060 You know, like when women whack you
on the street because of your column. 759 00:46:34.143 --> 00:46:35.644 That's negative attention. 760 00:46:35.728 --> 00:46:38.688 We're talking about
her negative attention, not mine. 761 00:46:47.446 --> 00:46:50.073 "How does she get all
those guys to propose? 762 00:46:50.156 --> 00:46:53.075 She's not that beautiful.'' 763 00:46:53.159 --> 00:46:55.619 Bite me, paperboy. 764 00:46:58.997 --> 00:47:01.791 Ah, hey! Hey! 765 00:47:01.875 --> 00:47:03.167 Hi, Ike. 766 00:47:03.251 --> 00:47:07.212 You put your shoes out at night,
they're real shiny in the mornin'. 767 00:47:07.296 --> 00:47:11.049 - Sometimes they don't bring 'em back.
- Mmm, why take a chance? 768 00:47:11.132 --> 00:47:13.051 Good night. 769 00:47:26.854 --> 00:47:30.107 All right.
I know you're in there. I saw you. 770 00:47:32.067 --> 00:47:34.777 You realize you're messing
with the First Amendment now. 771 00:47:34.861 --> 00:47:38.113 [Knocking On Door]
Come on, open up. 772 00:47:38.197 --> 00:47:40.490 Come on! 773 00:47:40.574 --> 00:47:42.575 We should have
a very serious discussion... 774 00:47:42.617 --> 00:47:45.411 about why you are
such a pain in the ass! 775 00:47:45.453 --> 00:47:46.954 Open the door! 776 00:47:46.996 --> 00:47:49.623 I'm coming in.
I'm coming through. 777 00:47:49.706 --> 00:47:51.833 It's your last chance.
Here I come! 778 00:47:51.917 --> 00:47:53.751 Here I come! 779 00:47:55.503 --> 00:47:57.463 All right. 780 00:47:57.505 --> 00:48:02.259 Breaking and entering. That's a felony.
I'm calling the sheriff. 781 00:48:02.342 --> 00:48:04.135 You know what?
You do that. 782 00:48:04.219 --> 00:48:07.680 Can you remind him that's he's
bringing the wine to the luau? 783 00:48:07.763 --> 00:48:11.600 [Whispering]
It'll save me a call. Thanks so much. 784 00:48:11.641 --> 00:48:13.768 Hey, Ike, does your friend
have a sister? 785 00:48:13.852 --> 00:48:17.438 Wait for the original.
She'll be available in a week. 786 00:48:21.024 --> 00:48:23.818 %[Jazz] 787 00:48:47.713 --> 00:48:49.798 [Maggie Crowing] 788 00:48:49.840 --> 00:48:52.968 [Crowing Continues] 789 00:48:53.051 --> 00:48:56.346 [Crowing] 790 00:48:59.056 --> 00:49:02.976 Freeze. Oh, hold on to those covers.
I didn't come to see Ike Junior. 791 00:49:03.060 --> 00:49:07.855 [Sighs] I take it the desk clerk
is one of your many admirers. 792 00:49:09.523 --> 00:49:13.527 So, your notes made for...
interesting reading. 793 00:49:13.610 --> 00:49:15.111 What's your point? 794 00:49:15.195 --> 00:49:17.405 My point is, once again,
you're getting it all wrong. 795 00:49:17.488 --> 00:49:19.865 And that's not gonna improve
your reputation, 796 00:49:19.949 --> 00:49:22.493 and it's not very flattering
to me either. 797 00:49:22.534 --> 00:49:26.538 So, I decided that I would
help you write the truth. 798 00:49:26.621 --> 00:49:28.456 - [Chuckles] Really?
- Mm-hmm. 799 00:49:28.539 --> 00:49:31.458 Oh. 800 00:49:31.542 --> 00:49:35.712 I've decided to cooperate
and let you interview me... 801 00:49:35.754 --> 00:49:38.881 - for $1,000.
- [Groans] 802 00:49:38.965 --> 00:49:41.050 I want a big wedding
and a killer dress. 803 00:49:41.133 --> 00:49:46.388 And for a grand, I will answer all your
questions and let you follow me around. 804 00:49:46.429 --> 00:49:50.725 The magazine does not
spend money for stories. 805 00:49:50.766 --> 00:49:52.893 - It's not what you would call ethical.
- Oh. 806 00:49:52.977 --> 00:49:55.103 I meant you. 807 00:49:55.187 --> 00:49:59.399 I figured you probably
got severance or expenses or both. 808 00:49:59.440 --> 00:50:02.735 I'm guessing
that you're writing on spec. 809 00:50:02.776 --> 00:50:06.738 And with a first-person interview,
you might actually sell that thing. 810 00:50:06.780 --> 00:50:10.283 - Too much.
- Seven-fifty. 811 00:50:10.450 --> 00:50:12.409 - Five hundred.
- Six-fifty. 812 00:50:12.451 --> 00:50:15.537 Done. 813 00:50:15.621 --> 00:50:19.499 % [Ike Whistling Tune To
"The Andy Griffith Show"] 814 00:50:19.582 --> 00:50:23.669 Is that supposed to be a joke?
I know what you're whistling. 815 00:50:23.752 --> 00:50:25.671 - Hello.
- Hi. 816 00:50:27.964 --> 00:50:30.967 This is a birthday present
for my cousin. 817 00:50:31.008 --> 00:50:32.510 [Motor Whirring] 818 00:50:32.593 --> 00:50:35.762 [Chuckles]
That's great. 819 00:50:35.846 --> 00:50:40.433 Wonderful stuff. All these found
industrial parts and things. 820 00:50:40.516 --> 00:50:42.476 A lamp tree. 821 00:50:42.518 --> 00:50:44.478 That's great. 822 00:50:44.520 --> 00:50:48.440 - Is this-- That's your preferred logo?
- I think so. 823 00:50:48.481 --> 00:50:50.483 It's nice. The whole thing is great. 824 00:50:50.567 --> 00:50:52.610 I think you could sell
these lamps in New York. 825 00:50:52.693 --> 00:50:55.112 Maybe someday. 826 00:50:55.154 --> 00:50:58.782 - You afraid to try?
- No, no. I'm not afraid. 827 00:50:58.823 --> 00:51:02.160 Just... someday. 828 00:51:03.828 --> 00:51:06.371 This is Brian. 829 00:51:06.455 --> 00:51:08.707 Oh, Father Brian. 830 00:51:08.790 --> 00:51:12.752 - And Gill's, of course.
- Gill, yeah. 831 00:51:12.835 --> 00:51:16.046 And... George. 832 00:51:16.130 --> 00:51:19.799 He proposed at a butterfly farm
in Saint Thomas. 833 00:51:19.841 --> 00:51:21.926 The ring was inside a cocoon. 834 00:51:22.010 --> 00:51:26.430 Ahh. A little too
Silence of the Lambs for my taste, but-- 835 00:51:26.513 --> 00:51:29.558 Well, he's an entomologist.
I thought it was very unique. 836 00:51:29.641 --> 00:51:32.393 - And finally, Bob.
- Mmm. 837 00:51:32.477 --> 00:51:34.729 He proposed during
the seventh inning stretch... 838 00:51:36.522 --> 00:51:39.816 at an Oriole game. 839 00:51:39.858 --> 00:51:43.027 Wait, wait.
Wait, don't tell me. 840 00:51:43.111 --> 00:51:46.405 The scoreboard lit up
with "Marry me, Maggie." 841 00:51:46.488 --> 00:51:49.157 It was one of the most
wonderful moments of my life. 842 00:51:49.241 --> 00:51:51.659 Highly suspect. 843 00:51:51.701 --> 00:51:54.996 What do you mean?
It was incredibly romantic. 844 00:51:55.037 --> 00:51:58.373 Look, maybe it's just me, but... 845 00:51:58.457 --> 00:52:02.293 if you gotta dress it up like that,
it just doesn't ring true. 846 00:52:02.377 --> 00:52:06.797 You know,
l, I think the most... 847 00:52:06.881 --> 00:52:09.258 that anybody
can honestly say is: 848 00:52:09.341 --> 00:52:14.512 "Look, I guarantee there'll be
tough times. I guarantee... 849 00:52:14.554 --> 00:52:19.349 "at some point one or both of us
is gonna want to get out of this thing. 850 00:52:19.433 --> 00:52:23.728 "But I also guarantee that
if I don't ask you to be mine, 851 00:52:23.811 --> 00:52:26.439 "I'll regret it
the rest of my life. 852 00:52:26.522 --> 00:52:31.026 "Because I know in my heart... 853 00:52:32.485 --> 00:52:35.029 you're the only one for me." 854 00:52:38.282 --> 00:52:40.242 I like it. 855 00:52:41.368 --> 00:52:43.661 I'd like it better
on a scoreboard. 856 00:52:46.789 --> 00:52:51.043 So, is that what you said when
you asked your wife to marry you? 857 00:52:51.126 --> 00:52:54.170 Don't look so surprised. You've got
"divorce" written all over you. 858 00:52:55.630 --> 00:52:58.382 I'm a work-in-progress. 859 00:52:58.424 --> 00:53:01.718 So, is that what
you said to her? 860 00:53:01.760 --> 00:53:04.763 No. I think I said
something very eloquent like, 861 00:53:04.846 --> 00:53:07.306 "So, um, 862 00:53:07.390 --> 00:53:10.351 "maybe you and I should,
you know-- 863 00:53:10.434 --> 00:53:13.145 What do you think? Huh?'' 864 00:53:14.437 --> 00:53:16.731 Now, that's romantic. 865 00:53:16.814 --> 00:53:19.984 And with a proposal like that,
you didn't find eternal bliss? 866 00:53:20.067 --> 00:53:22.903 - [Sighs]
- What went wrong? 867 00:53:22.986 --> 00:53:24.946 I don't know. 868 00:53:24.988 --> 00:53:28.908 - You don't know?
- No. 869 00:53:28.949 --> 00:53:33.036 Maybe you should ask her sometime.
Ever thought of that? 870 00:53:33.120 --> 00:53:35.830 [Chuckles] 871 00:53:42.461 --> 00:53:44.588 [Maggie] Even with
everything that's happened, 872 00:53:44.671 --> 00:53:46.506 I have still never been married. 873 00:53:46.589 --> 00:53:50.176 And I still deserve
a beautiful dress. 874 00:53:52.094 --> 00:53:54.429 - [Doorbells Tinkle]
- Mrs. Whittenmeyer? 875 00:53:54.513 --> 00:53:56.473 Where are you going? 876 00:53:56.514 --> 00:53:58.683 - Hi, Polly.
- Hi, Maggie. 877 00:53:58.766 --> 00:54:01.685 You'll have to excuse her. Some of
the children are afraid of you... 878 00:54:01.769 --> 00:54:04.229 since you dragged
that little boy up the aisle. 879 00:54:04.313 --> 00:54:06.231 Drag-- No.
I didn't, I didn't-- 880 00:54:06.314 --> 00:54:08.608 He tripped
on his own shoelaces. 881 00:54:08.691 --> 00:54:11.861 You've come for your dress. Good.
It's in the back. I'll get it. 882 00:54:11.944 --> 00:54:16.656 Actually, Mrs. Whittenmeyer,
I decided... 883 00:54:16.740 --> 00:54:19.617 - that I want to get this dress.
- Oh. 884 00:54:19.659 --> 00:54:22.578 The one you have on hold
is lovely, dear. 885 00:54:22.661 --> 00:54:26.414 I know, but I've just--
I've changed my mind. 886 00:54:26.498 --> 00:54:28.708 This is $ 1 ,000. 887 00:54:28.791 --> 00:54:31.585 And I have $ 1 ,000. 888 00:54:31.669 --> 00:54:34.713 [Mrs. Whittenmeyer]
The other one is only $300, dear. 889 00:54:34.796 --> 00:54:39.133 Um-- Is that dress for sale? 890 00:54:39.217 --> 00:54:43.637 It's just a lot of money to spend
on one of your dresses, Maggie. 891 00:54:43.679 --> 00:54:47.557 After all, you only wear them
for about ten minutes or so. 892 00:54:52.895 --> 00:54:54.855 Um, yeah, yeah. 893 00:54:54.938 --> 00:54:58.108 I guess that's true. 894 00:54:59.901 --> 00:55:03.362 Uh, the other dress is, is nice. 895 00:55:03.404 --> 00:55:05.614 - Mrs. Whittenheimer?
- Meyer. 896 00:55:05.697 --> 00:55:08.366 Whittenmeyer. Could I talk
to you just for a second? 897 00:55:08.450 --> 00:55:10.743 Come here. I don't know much
about this kind of thing. 898 00:55:10.827 --> 00:55:15.289 I'm from out of town.
But you're a salesperson, right? 899 00:55:15.372 --> 00:55:18.500 - You're here to sell wedding dresses.
- I've been here 30 years. 900 00:55:18.541 --> 00:55:22.336 Perfect! Because
Miss Carpenter is here to buy one. 901 00:55:22.378 --> 00:55:25.381 Ah. But not just any one.
She wants that one. 902 00:55:25.422 --> 00:55:28.967 - It's $1,000!
- Listen, Aunt Bee. 903 00:55:31.010 --> 00:55:34.472 Verbal communication was never perfect
for me. Let's try visual, all right? 904 00:55:36.890 --> 00:55:39.100 [Ike]
We're buying the dress. 905 00:55:39.184 --> 00:55:41.853 Now, we'll have
this nice beautiful dress. 906 00:55:41.894 --> 00:55:45.522 And anything else she wants,
it's hers. Okay? All right? 907 00:55:52.737 --> 00:55:55.364 [Sighs]
What do you think? 908 00:56:03.037 --> 00:56:04.955 Hmm? 909 00:56:08.458 --> 00:56:11.503 [Sighs] 910 00:56:11.586 --> 00:56:14.380 You look-- 911 00:56:20.677 --> 00:56:22.720 [Sniffs]
You look fine. 912 00:56:22.804 --> 00:56:25.389 Fine. 913 00:56:27.016 --> 00:56:29.017 [Clears Throat] 914 00:56:29.101 --> 00:56:31.853 You're reading your newspaper
upside down. 915 00:56:31.936 --> 00:56:34.230 That's gotta
be better than "fine." 916 00:56:34.272 --> 00:56:36.899 Yeah. 917 00:56:36.982 --> 00:56:38.942 Come on, now.
Admire me. 918 00:56:38.984 --> 00:56:41.236 Get the whole picture.
Right? 919 00:56:41.278 --> 00:56:43.279 I'm gonna have my hair up
somehow. 920 00:56:43.363 --> 00:56:45.323 I don't know.
Maybe with a little in the back. 921 00:56:45.406 --> 00:56:48.325 And, my favorite feature... 922 00:56:48.409 --> 00:56:53.288 is that it kind of swishes
like a bell when I move. 923 00:56:54.914 --> 00:56:56.749 [Maggie]
% Ding, ding % 924 00:56:56.832 --> 00:56:59.710 % Ding, ding % 925 00:57:01.461 --> 00:57:03.380 It works. 926 00:57:03.463 --> 00:57:06.215 Bob will be very happy. 927 00:57:06.299 --> 00:57:11.136 Oh, Bob! We gotta go.
We gotta go meet Bob. 928 00:57:11.261 --> 00:57:14.514 Oh, jeez, yeah, I'm goin' to the luau.
I never miss it. The barbershop-- 929 00:57:14.556 --> 00:57:17.725 Mrs. Pressman, we're ready
to order here, I think. 930 00:57:17.808 --> 00:57:19.685 I'm all out of the special-- 931 00:57:19.727 --> 00:57:22.687 That's all right. I'm gonna have
the garden omelet, egg whites only. 932 00:57:22.729 --> 00:57:25.523 - Okay.
- That sounds good. I'll have the same. 933 00:57:25.565 --> 00:57:27.066 Of course. 934 00:57:27.149 --> 00:57:31.486 What is that? I can't even order eggs
without sarcasm from you? 935 00:57:31.570 --> 00:57:33.071 [Clears Throat] 936 00:57:33.154 --> 00:57:35.365 - You're on the same team now.
- What is that sound? 937 00:57:35.406 --> 00:57:37.283 [Clears Throat]
Have some water. 938 00:57:37.366 --> 00:57:40.703 - Penalty box. Penalty box. Hmm?
- What is it? Fur ball? 939 00:57:40.786 --> 00:57:44.122 Ike, Maggie is the sweetest person
you're ever gonna meet. 940 00:57:44.205 --> 00:57:46.291 But she focuses too much out there. 941 00:57:46.374 --> 00:57:48.834 She needs to start
focusing more in here. 942 00:57:48.918 --> 00:57:51.420 That's why I think
she's had, uh, 943 00:57:51.503 --> 00:57:56.591 whatever you wanna call 'em--
problems in the past. 944 00:57:56.674 --> 00:57:59.385 And that's what
we're working on. Focus. 945 00:57:59.427 --> 00:58:02.888 -Focus. Focus on Maggie. Focus.
- Mm-hmm. 946 00:58:02.971 --> 00:58:05.890 Focus on Bob. Focus on Bob. 947 00:58:05.974 --> 00:58:08.851 I've been runnin' Maggie
through these visualization exercises. 948 00:58:08.935 --> 00:58:11.603 All the sports shrinks
use this head stuff. 949 00:58:11.687 --> 00:58:14.189 Visualize the end zone. 950 00:58:14.272 --> 00:58:18.734 Visualize that hole-in-one. 951 00:58:18.776 --> 00:58:22.654 Tell me. When you get to the altar,
do you spike the bouquet? 952 00:58:22.738 --> 00:58:25.740 - Okay, you know what--
- Well, I'm off. 953 00:58:25.824 --> 00:58:28.326 A reporter's work
is never done. 954 00:58:28.409 --> 00:58:30.327 See you later.
Bye, Mrs. Pressman. Thank you. 955 00:58:30.411 --> 00:58:34.664 I'm gonna go focus
on your eggs, Bob. 956 00:58:36.166 --> 00:58:38.626 I'm glad you're here.
I wanted to try to explain. 957 00:58:38.710 --> 00:58:42.921 There are reasons why there have been
three weddings and no "I do's." 958 00:58:42.963 --> 00:58:46.466 You can't believe how much cake
we got stuck with! 959 00:58:46.549 --> 00:58:48.760 It's a wonder
I don't weigh 300 pounds! 960 00:58:48.801 --> 00:58:51.679 And then, her father bought
all that booze that nobody drank. 961 00:58:51.762 --> 00:58:53.680 - But he didn't mind that--
- Hi, Grandma. 962 00:58:53.764 --> 00:58:55.849 [Makes Kissing Sound]
Hi, Netta. 963 00:58:55.932 --> 00:59:00.686 Grammy is giving me the skinny
on why you run from marital bliss. 964 00:59:00.770 --> 00:59:03.188 Right. Netta,
cover up your ears. 965 00:59:04.898 --> 00:59:07.025 It's not that she's afraid
of the wedding. 966 00:59:07.108 --> 00:59:10.319 - She's afraid of the wedding night!
- Mmm. 967 00:59:10.403 --> 00:59:13.906 Innocent girls are terrified
of the one-eyed snake. 968 00:59:16.450 --> 00:59:18.493 Why, when I was a virgin bride, 969 00:59:18.576 --> 00:59:20.828 I took a knitting needle
to bed with me. 970 00:59:20.912 --> 00:59:22.621 Uh--
[Clears Throat] 971 00:59:22.663 --> 00:59:24.998 Grandma, I charmed... 972 00:59:25.082 --> 00:59:29.836 - the one-eyed snake a while ago.
- Oh, yeah. I forgot. 973 00:59:29.919 --> 00:59:34.340 Well, I'll tell you one thing. Your
grandpa never forgot that wedding night. 974 00:59:34.423 --> 00:59:36.341 Netta, you can take
your hands down. 975 00:59:36.425 --> 00:59:38.343 - The tea's cold.
- Good. 976 00:59:38.426 --> 00:59:41.304 Could you excuse us for a minute?
May I have a word with you, please? 977 00:59:41.387 --> 00:59:44.473 Oh. Bye, Netta. Bye. 978 00:59:44.556 --> 00:59:47.350 Thanks, Grammy. 979 00:59:47.434 --> 00:59:49.853 Uh-- [Clears Throat] 980 00:59:49.936 --> 00:59:53.272 I found this, and I didn't know
if it was something interesting. 981 00:59:53.356 --> 00:59:56.775 - My-- This is Miles Davis!
- I was cleaning out the attic and-- 982 00:59:56.858 --> 00:59:59.652 This is very hard to find
in good condition. 983 00:59:59.736 --> 01:00:04.156 - Hold on to this. This is incredible.
- Why don't you take it? 984 01:00:05.783 --> 01:00:08.910 - Huh?
- Take it. 985 01:00:08.994 --> 01:00:14.081 You're figuring out what kind of music
I like, finding me a rare album. 986 01:00:14.165 --> 01:00:17.042 You're not trying
to butter me up, are you? 987 01:00:17.125 --> 01:00:19.377 I was cleaning out the attic, 988 01:00:19.461 --> 01:00:23.172 not attempting the impossible. 989 01:00:23.214 --> 01:00:26.675 I smell trouble. 990 01:00:26.884 --> 01:00:30.262 [Car Radio] This is Cory Flemming,
and I'll be featuring the music... 991 01:00:30.345 --> 01:00:34.307 of Denise and Da Nephews,
tomorrow morning on "Wake up with--" 992 01:00:34.390 --> 01:00:36.308 [Turns Radio Off] 993 01:00:36.392 --> 01:00:38.852 [Ike]
What do we got here? 994 01:00:42.522 --> 01:00:44.857 [Maggie]
Come on, big guy. 995 01:00:44.940 --> 01:00:46.859 Oh, on our feet.
Here we go. 996 01:00:46.942 --> 01:00:49.694 Let's go, let's go,
big guy. Yeah. 997 01:00:49.778 --> 01:00:52.906 I haven't had any fun
since you got your driver's license. 998 01:00:52.989 --> 01:00:57.034 Let me give you a tip. I haven't
been having a whole lot of fun either. 999 01:00:58.452 --> 01:01:00.871 Steady. 1000 01:01:00.954 --> 01:01:03.706 - Good boy, Porthole.
- His name's Skipper, Dad. 1001 01:01:03.790 --> 01:01:06.208 - I changed it.
- Ah. Okay, step. 1002 01:01:06.250 --> 01:01:10.379 - [Groans] I'll be back later, Travis.
- [Scoffs] 1003 01:01:10.462 --> 01:01:13.173 - That guy Travis really has a problem.
- Mmm. 1004 01:01:13.256 --> 01:01:15.299 - I'll get--
- Here we are. 1005 01:01:15.383 --> 01:01:18.385 Okay. Steady. 1006 01:01:18.469 --> 01:01:20.846 You're gonna lean,
I'm gonna push. 1007 01:01:20.929 --> 01:01:23.723 Good daughters
let their fathers pass out. 1008 01:01:23.765 --> 01:01:26.726 Hey, Walter.
Right down there. 1009 01:01:26.767 --> 01:01:29.061 I, I-- Please, please
don't write anything-- 1010 01:01:29.103 --> 01:01:32.105 Forget about it.
Don't even think about it. 1011 01:01:43.448 --> 01:01:47.410 I'm just so tired
of this whole scene. 1012 01:01:47.451 --> 01:01:51.705 Why don't you just let him
sleep it off here in the truck? 1013 01:01:51.747 --> 01:01:54.582 Come for a ride with me,
come back for him later. 1014 01:01:57.251 --> 01:01:59.169 Okay. 1015 01:02:05.133 --> 01:02:07.677 [Female Singer]
% Today % 1016 01:02:07.760 --> 01:02:11.847 % We took a walk up the street % 1017 01:02:11.930 --> 01:02:15.600 % We picked a flower
and climbed the hill % 1018 01:02:15.642 --> 01:02:19.103 [Maggie] He's been drinking more
and more since my mom passed away. 1019 01:02:19.186 --> 01:02:22.105 [Ike] That's when you quit school
to come back here? 1020 01:02:22.147 --> 01:02:25.984 Yeah. I had to come
run the store for my dad. 1021 01:02:26.067 --> 01:02:30.029 [Ike] My dad had
a small printing business. 1022 01:02:30.112 --> 01:02:33.281 He wanted me to become
a classical musician. 1023 01:02:33.323 --> 01:02:35.700 My mother wanted me
to be a novelist. 1024 01:02:37.410 --> 01:02:39.620 They were 0-for-two. 1025 01:02:42.748 --> 01:02:44.749 More? 1026 01:02:44.833 --> 01:02:49.128 So, l, uh--
I became a reporter. 1027 01:02:51.547 --> 01:02:54.174 Not quite a novelist.
But as we all know, 1028 01:02:54.257 --> 01:02:58.177 journalism is literature
in a hurry. 1029 01:03:01.096 --> 01:03:05.809 % I never saw blue
like that before % 1030 01:03:07.310 --> 01:03:10.271 % Across the sky % 1031 01:03:10.354 --> 01:03:12.314 [Ike]
What? What is this? 1032 01:03:12.398 --> 01:03:14.775 What kind of gas did you put
in here? Diesel? 1033 01:03:14.816 --> 01:03:18.236 I don't know.
The pump closest to the car. 1034 01:03:18.319 --> 01:03:20.238 - [Car Backfires]
- Whoa! 1035 01:03:21.822 --> 01:03:25.158 This car takes unleaded.
Your filter is clogged. 1036 01:03:25.242 --> 01:03:27.160 [Ike]
Can you fix it? 1037 01:03:27.243 --> 01:03:29.829 - I'm gonna need to get some tools.
- Oh, good. 1038 01:03:29.912 --> 01:03:31.831 Kind of isolated here. 1039 01:03:31.914 --> 01:03:34.625 Yeah, it's nice. 1040 01:03:34.708 --> 01:03:37.252 [Sighs] 1041 01:03:37.335 --> 01:03:40.546 Well, if there's one thing
us New Yorkers know how to do, 1042 01:03:40.630 --> 01:03:42.298 that's hail a cab. 1043 01:03:42.381 --> 01:03:44.800 If there's no cab, we walk. 1044 01:03:44.842 --> 01:03:48.928 Uh, well, if we saved
the battery here, 1045 01:03:49.012 --> 01:03:51.264 there's a place just down the way. 1046 01:03:51.347 --> 01:03:54.516 We country girls cut across the field.
It's quicker. 1047 01:04:00.063 --> 01:04:02.148 Oh, be careful of snakes. 1048 01:04:04.024 --> 01:04:06.360 - What?
- Snakes. 1049 01:04:06.443 --> 01:04:08.361 I don't like snakes. 1050 01:04:08.445 --> 01:04:11.072 Walk nice.
They won't get ya. 1051 01:04:13.240 --> 01:04:16.326 Come on, come on, come on! 1052 01:04:16.410 --> 01:04:19.704 What're you--
What're you doing? Snake dance? 1053 01:04:19.746 --> 01:04:22.873 I'm scaring the snakes. 1054 01:04:22.957 --> 01:04:27.210 - You're scaring me.
- [Chuckles] I'm scaring myself. 1055 01:04:29.587 --> 01:04:33.507 Do you think there's
one right person for everybody? 1056 01:04:33.591 --> 01:04:35.843 [Sighs]
No, but I think attraction... 1057 01:04:35.884 --> 01:04:39.888 is too often mistaken
for rightness. 1058 01:04:39.971 --> 01:04:43.474 Attraction is very misleading. 1059 01:04:43.557 --> 01:04:45.893 - Yes, it is.
- Yeah. 1060 01:04:45.934 --> 01:04:48.020 - And it doesn't mean anything.
- No. 1061 01:04:48.061 --> 01:04:52.273 No, no.
It doesn't mean anything. It means-- 1062 01:05:01.364 --> 01:05:04.158 I, uh, 1063 01:05:04.242 --> 01:05:06.910 suddenly forgot
how to climb a fence. 1064 01:05:09.204 --> 01:05:12.081 - Tools.
- Tools. Yeah. 1065 01:05:21.256 --> 01:05:25.968 - Lionel, do you have tools?
- Hey, Maggie! 1066 01:05:26.051 --> 01:05:28.345 What're you gonna do?
Bust out of another wedding? 1067 01:05:28.428 --> 01:05:30.597 [Ike Laughs] 1068 01:05:30.680 --> 01:05:34.058 Sure are well-known around here. 1069 01:05:34.225 --> 01:05:37.228 [Ike]
No, Fish, it's almost done. I swear. 1070 01:05:37.311 --> 01:05:39.646 This story's taken
a very interesting turn. 1071 01:05:39.688 --> 01:05:42.524 I've got one more interview
to do in New York. I'll see you later. 1072 01:05:42.565 --> 01:05:45.234 [Male Singer]
% From my head to my heart % 1073 01:05:45.318 --> 01:05:49.321 % Can't seem to find a way
They're so far apart % 1074 01:05:49.404 --> 01:05:51.865 [Horns Honking] 1075 01:05:51.907 --> 01:05:55.284 You could've told me that
you were fiancé number three. 1076 01:05:55.368 --> 01:05:57.328 And end up in the papers? 1077 01:05:57.411 --> 01:06:00.997 I've been humiliated enough already
to last a lifetime. Thank you. 1078 01:06:01.081 --> 01:06:03.541 I was traveling around, 1079 01:06:03.583 --> 01:06:07.420 studying the reproductive
and migratory patterns of locusts... 1080 01:06:07.503 --> 01:06:09.421 when Maggie met me. 1081 01:06:09.505 --> 01:06:12.674 Tell me, George.
Why do you think she ran? 1082 01:06:12.716 --> 01:06:15.593 Just like you said.
What did you call her? A man-eater? 1083 01:06:15.676 --> 01:06:19.680 Devouring death goddess.
All right? 1084 01:06:19.763 --> 01:06:22.432 That's what I said.
I don't think that's why she ran. 1085 01:06:22.516 --> 01:06:23.933 Why do you think she ran? 1086 01:06:24.017 --> 01:06:26.519 I don't know. I'm working on it.
I was on the wrong track. 1087 01:06:26.602 --> 01:06:30.147 - Are you defending her?
- No, no. 1088 01:06:30.230 --> 01:06:34.359 I call it like I see it.
I'm a journalist. I'm a truth-teller. 1089 01:06:34.442 --> 01:06:36.611 - Unbelievable!
- What? 1090 01:06:36.694 --> 01:06:39.446 She got to you, too,
like a moth to a flame. 1091 01:06:39.530 --> 01:06:41.448 - Please!
-Join the club. 1092 01:06:41.532 --> 01:06:44.409 - What are you talking about?
- You need this much more than I do. 1093 01:06:44.451 --> 01:06:48.788 I am a journalist. I'm doing an article.
Look. See? I'm being paid. 1094 01:06:48.871 --> 01:06:54.000 This will be published. A cover story.
You'll get the all facts in the article. 1095 01:06:54.084 --> 01:06:57.045 Do you know what kind
of eggs she liked? 1096 01:06:57.128 --> 01:07:01.090 Poached, same as me. 1097 01:07:07.762 --> 01:07:09.889 [Car Alarm Beeping] 1098 01:07:09.972 --> 01:07:12.641 [Fisher] An over priced apartment
and Chinese take-out. 1099 01:07:12.724 --> 01:07:14.726 That's New York living. 1100 01:07:14.768 --> 01:07:16.853 Fisher, don't forget
the fortune cookies. 1101 01:07:16.936 --> 01:07:21.232 I already read the fortune.
You don't wanna know. 1102 01:07:21.315 --> 01:07:24.276 He makes me crazy. 1103 01:07:24.359 --> 01:07:27.445 Hostility is a very important part
of your foreplay, isn't it? 1104 01:07:27.528 --> 01:07:30.322 It takes three people
to make our marriage work: 1105 01:07:30.406 --> 01:07:32.241 him, me and our therapist. 1106 01:07:34.576 --> 01:07:37.537 [Laughs] 1107 01:07:37.620 --> 01:07:40.706 Ellie, what went wrong? 1108 01:07:40.790 --> 01:07:43.709 With us.
With the two of us, I mean. 1109 01:07:43.792 --> 01:07:49.297 I know it's been a long time.
Do you remember? 1110 01:07:49.380 --> 01:07:53.300 Yeah. Do I remember?
Of course I do. 1111 01:07:55.218 --> 01:07:58.471 Is that what--
Did I do the same-- 1112 01:07:58.513 --> 01:08:02.558 Is that what happened?
Did I just... not see you? 1113 01:08:05.143 --> 01:08:08.938 No. No, you didn't. 1114 01:08:15.193 --> 01:08:17.153 I'm sorry. 1115 01:08:17.195 --> 01:08:19.656 I'm sorry, Ellie. 1116 01:08:19.697 --> 01:08:21.782 I'm sorry too, Ike. 1117 01:08:23.909 --> 01:08:27.537 Wow! That only took us
1 2 years to say. 1118 01:08:27.621 --> 01:08:30.540 Hey, I saw that, you cad. 1119 01:08:30.623 --> 01:08:33.626 You asked for it, you got it.
Here you go. 1120 01:08:33.709 --> 01:08:35.627 My dear. 1121 01:08:35.711 --> 01:08:38.171 Get your fortune.
Let me see what-- 1122 01:08:38.255 --> 01:08:43.384 "Confucius say, man who leave wife alone
with ex-husband may leave altogether." 1123 01:08:43.467 --> 01:08:44.968 - [Laughing]
- Aha! 1124 01:08:45.219 --> 01:08:48.263 - Lights and everything.
- Hope it's better than last year. 1125 01:08:48.346 --> 01:08:50.390 [Woman Laughing]
Or the last ten years. 1126 01:08:50.473 --> 01:08:53.559 %[Drums Beating] 1127 01:08:53.642 --> 01:08:56.061 [Cheering, Whistling] 1128 01:09:01.983 --> 01:09:03.484 [Applauding] 1129 01:09:03.567 --> 01:09:07.195 Let's have a hand for
our fabulous hula dancers. 1130 01:09:07.237 --> 01:09:12.325 There they are.
King and Queen! 1131 01:09:12.408 --> 01:09:15.411 % [Hawaiian] 1132 01:09:15.494 --> 01:09:20.415 Walter, I'm thinking about
going back to my maiden name. 1133 01:09:20.498 --> 01:09:22.417 Can you still remember it? 1134 01:09:22.500 --> 01:09:26.003 What? It's nice, you know. 1135 01:09:26.045 --> 01:09:31.466 It's just I haven't seen him
in 24 hours, and I would... 1136 01:09:31.549 --> 01:09:35.511 feel better if
I knew where he was, you see. 1137 01:09:39.056 --> 01:09:41.766 [Mr. Trout]
Welcome to our annual luau. 1138 01:09:41.850 --> 01:09:44.769 - What can I get you?
- [Ike] Aloha, Mr. Trout. 1139 01:09:44.852 --> 01:09:49.356 Uh, you got something
without a toy in it? 1140 01:09:49.439 --> 01:09:51.816 % [Electric Guitar] 1141 01:09:51.900 --> 01:09:54.819 - [Man] Get down, Sprout.
- The next three. 1142 01:09:54.902 --> 01:09:56.862 Yeah. 1143 01:09:56.946 --> 01:10:00.240 Oh, I'm hearing it here. 1144 01:10:04.410 --> 01:10:06.328 Aloha! 1145 01:10:08.622 --> 01:10:11.082 It's a very fetching headdress
you're wearing. 1146 01:10:14.919 --> 01:10:19.089 Where did--
Where did you disappear to? 1147 01:10:19.173 --> 01:10:21.133 Missed me bad, huh? 1148 01:10:24.260 --> 01:10:26.387 [Betty Trout]
And we have a winner right here! 1149 01:10:26.470 --> 01:10:29.640 Yeah! All right, Bob! 1150 01:10:29.723 --> 01:10:33.184 Well, it's chow time
here on the islands, 1151 01:10:33.268 --> 01:10:37.563 and we Trouts have prepared
our traditional feast, Shrimp Trout. 1152 01:10:37.646 --> 01:10:39.940 So let's all meet at the tables. 1153 01:10:39.982 --> 01:10:42.150 You're not allergic
to shrimp, are you? 1154 01:10:42.234 --> 01:10:45.403 - Mmm, no.
- Pity. 1155 01:10:46.487 --> 01:10:49.031 [Banging] 1156 01:10:51.116 --> 01:10:54.577 Attention!
Pay attention to Walter. 1157 01:10:54.661 --> 01:10:57.580 - Listen closely. He slurs.
- [Laughing] 1158 01:10:57.663 --> 01:11:00.374 In the tradition... 1159 01:11:00.457 --> 01:11:03.918 that has grown over the years,
it is now toast time. 1160 01:11:03.960 --> 01:11:06.087 First up, our host, 1161 01:11:06.129 --> 01:11:08.839 Lou "A Honey of a Beekeeper" Trout. 1162 01:11:08.923 --> 01:11:11.258 [Applause] 1163 01:11:11.300 --> 01:11:13.301 [Whistles] 1164 01:11:13.343 --> 01:11:16.429 May the groom's heart
be filled with hope... 1165 01:11:16.512 --> 01:11:18.848 and the bride's feet
filled with lead. 1166 01:11:18.931 --> 01:11:22.267 [Crowd Laughing] 1167 01:11:22.309 --> 01:11:26.562 May the pitter-patter of little feet
not be Maggie's. 1168 01:11:26.646 --> 01:11:29.065 [Crowd Laughing] 1169 01:11:31.984 --> 01:11:36.571 - May the gifts be returnable.
- [Man] I took mine back. 1170 01:11:36.654 --> 01:11:40.324 You know the old saying,
"You're not losing a daughter"? 1171 01:11:40.366 --> 01:11:42.367 Well, I'd like to. 1172 01:11:42.451 --> 01:11:44.953 [Crowd Laughing] 1173 01:11:44.995 --> 01:11:48.331 [Walter]Maggie may not be
Hale's longest running joke, 1174 01:11:48.372 --> 01:11:52.084 - but she is certainly the fastest.
- [Mouthing Words] 1175 01:11:53.502 --> 01:11:55.545 Good one, Dad. 1176 01:11:55.629 --> 01:11:59.590 [Cindy] Walter, maybe
Mr. Graham will say something. 1177 01:11:59.674 --> 01:12:02.885 Ah, here we are. Would you like
to say something, Mr. Graham? 1178 01:12:02.968 --> 01:12:07.222 Yeah, just a minute.
I don't know yet. You okay? 1179 01:12:07.305 --> 01:12:11.142 Come on, Ike. Take a shot at Maggie
live. It's more fun than print. 1180 01:12:11.183 --> 01:12:13.769 Excuse me? 1181 01:12:13.852 --> 01:12:16.021 It's a joke.
They're kidding, Ike. 1182 01:12:16.062 --> 01:12:19.899 - Yeah, come on. Let's go.
- [Banging Cups] 1183 01:12:19.982 --> 01:12:23.235 - [Banging Continues]
- All right. We'll have a toast! 1184 01:12:23.318 --> 01:12:26.821 [All Shouting Agreement] 1185 01:12:26.905 --> 01:12:29.365 To Maggie's family and friends. 1186 01:12:29.407 --> 01:12:33.160 May you find yourselves... 1187 01:12:33.202 --> 01:12:35.746 the bull's-eye of an easy target. 1188 01:12:37.580 --> 01:12:43.168 May you be publicly flogged
for all of your bad choices, 1189 01:12:43.252 --> 01:12:47.547 and may your noses be rubbed
in all of your mistakes. 1190 01:12:52.760 --> 01:12:55.721 Well, that was funny,
but enough toasting. Let's hula! 1191 01:12:55.762 --> 01:13:01.184 Everybody!
Let's get up and start the band! 1192 01:13:01.225 --> 01:13:03.769 We're gonna make a line
right down here. 1193 01:13:03.852 --> 01:13:06.438 Maggie. Maggie? 1194 01:13:06.521 --> 01:13:09.149 [Betty Trout]
Lou, where are those hula dancers? 1195 01:13:09.232 --> 01:13:12.026 Here. She might need this. 1196 01:13:12.151 --> 01:13:13.611 Where'd Maggie go to? 1197 01:13:13.652 --> 01:13:15.654 She went to get me something
from her car. 1198 01:13:15.737 --> 01:13:18.740 - Maybe she needs help.
- B-B-B-Bob. Okay. 1199 01:13:18.823 --> 01:13:20.950 The guard, who threw the block?
Forrest Gregg. 1200 01:13:21.034 --> 01:13:22.368 No, Elijah Pitts. 1201 01:13:22.451 --> 01:13:24.620 - He's a running back.
- The Fridge. Refrigerator Perry? 1202 01:13:26.330 --> 01:13:28.790 Maggie? 1203 01:13:28.832 --> 01:13:32.293 Hey. Here's a coat. 1204 01:13:32.376 --> 01:13:35.629 - Put this coat on. It's cold.
- Don't pretend to be a nice person. 1205 01:13:35.713 --> 01:13:38.465 I was the only person
in there defending you. 1206 01:13:38.548 --> 01:13:40.133 You humiliated me! 1207 01:13:40.175 --> 01:13:44.929 No, Maggie, I defended you. Humiliating
you is what everyone else did in there. 1208 01:13:45.012 --> 01:13:48.015 - That is the theme of the party tonight.
- No. It was under control. 1209 01:13:48.098 --> 01:13:50.392 Now they all feel sorry for me. 1210 01:13:50.475 --> 01:13:52.810 They should. They're about
to see you hang yourself again. 1211 01:13:52.852 --> 01:13:54.353 What do you keep-- 1212 01:13:54.437 --> 01:13:57.773 Tell me something.
Do you really care about Mount Everest? 1213 01:13:57.856 --> 01:14:01.484 It's fun. It's high. 1214 01:14:01.526 --> 01:14:03.611 Sexual practices of locusts? 1215 01:14:03.694 --> 01:14:08.657 [Maggie]Every one of those times
I was being supportive. 1216 01:14:08.740 --> 01:14:12.035 Not supportive!
You weren't being supportive! 1217 01:14:12.118 --> 01:14:16.497 You were scared!
You were scared then, you're scared now. 1218 01:14:16.538 --> 01:14:18.832 You are the most lost woman-- 1219 01:14:18.874 --> 01:14:21.626 - Lost?
- Yes, lost. You're so-- 1220 01:14:21.709 --> 01:14:25.171 You're so lost, you don't even know
what kind of eggs you like. 1221 01:14:26.505 --> 01:14:29.007 - Yes. Yes!
- What? 1222 01:14:29.091 --> 01:14:31.259 That's right. With the priest,
you wanted scrambled. 1223 01:14:31.343 --> 01:14:33.261 With the Dead Head,
it was fried. 1224 01:14:33.344 --> 01:14:36.013 With the bug guy,
it was poached. 1225 01:14:36.055 --> 01:14:39.683 Now it's like, "Oh, egg whites only.
Thank you very much." 1226 01:14:39.766 --> 01:14:42.769 That is called
changing your mind. 1227 01:14:42.852 --> 01:14:45.521 No, that's called
not having a mind of your own. 1228 01:14:45.563 --> 01:14:47.648 Maggie, what are you doing? 1229 01:14:47.731 --> 01:14:49.733 You really want that guy up there
to drag you... 1230 01:14:49.816 --> 01:14:53.027 up Annapurna for your honeymoon? 1231 01:14:53.069 --> 01:14:55.738 You do not wanna climb
Annapurna! 1232 01:14:55.821 --> 01:14:57.907 Yes, I do! 1233 01:14:59.408 --> 01:15:02.118 [Sighs] 1234 01:15:02.202 --> 01:15:04.162 No, you don't. 1235 01:15:05.663 --> 01:15:10.209 You want a man who'll
lead you down the beach... 1236 01:15:10.292 --> 01:15:12.586 with his hand over your eyes... 1237 01:15:12.669 --> 01:15:16.380 just so you can discover
the feel of sand under your feet. 1238 01:15:17.673 --> 01:15:21.134 You want a guy that'll
wake you up at dawn. 1239 01:15:23.303 --> 01:15:25.722 He's just bursting to talk to you.
Can't wait another minute... 1240 01:15:25.763 --> 01:15:28.891 just to find out
what you'll say. 1241 01:15:33.937 --> 01:15:35.855 Am I right? 1242 01:15:41.944 --> 01:15:44.070 Stop it. 1243 01:15:45.947 --> 01:15:50.075 I'm getting married on Sunday. 1244 01:15:50.159 --> 01:15:52.911 And you are just trying
to make me run. 1245 01:15:54.537 --> 01:15:59.166 Because you're
a cynical, exploitive, 1246 01:15:59.250 --> 01:16:01.668 mean-hearted creep... 1247 01:16:01.752 --> 01:16:04.921 who wouldn't know real love
if it bit him in the armpit. 1248 01:16:05.005 --> 01:16:10.301 All you do is...
is tear others down, 1249 01:16:10.384 --> 01:16:13.595 and laugh at them
and criticize what they do... 1250 01:16:13.678 --> 01:16:17.348 because you're too afraid
to do anything yourself. 1251 01:16:18.933 --> 01:16:21.769 I read your columns. 1252 01:16:21.810 --> 01:16:26.314 You never once wrote
anything about yourself. 1253 01:16:28.441 --> 01:16:32.152 I am not the only one
that is lost. 1254 01:16:33.487 --> 01:16:35.405 And you know it. 1255 01:16:37.782 --> 01:16:39.700 Am I right? 1256 01:16:42.494 --> 01:16:45.747 Am I right? 1257 01:16:47.916 --> 01:16:50.751 [Bob]
Mag? 1258 01:16:50.835 --> 01:16:53.629 Hey, help me out here. 1259 01:16:53.670 --> 01:16:56.047 Green Bay right guard. 1260 01:16:56.131 --> 01:16:59.133 Uh, you know,
Bart Starr, uh-- 1261 01:17:01.093 --> 01:17:03.303 - You okay?
- Yes. 1262 01:17:05.013 --> 01:17:08.474 -%[Drums Beating]
- [Clears Throat] 1263 01:17:08.558 --> 01:17:11.310 - I'll take you inside. Okay?
- Uh-huh. 1264 01:17:11.394 --> 01:17:13.479 Okay. 1265 01:17:14.855 --> 01:17:17.315 [Maggie]
Jerry Kramer. 1266 01:17:17.399 --> 01:17:22.153 Jerry Kramer!
I started on the Ice Bowl story. 1267 01:17:22.194 --> 01:17:27.324 %[Drumming Continues] 1268 01:17:27.532 --> 01:17:29.784 Hey, Grandma. 1269 01:17:29.867 --> 01:17:31.994 - What's for lunch?
- Turkey and cheese. 1270 01:17:32.036 --> 01:17:33.871 Honey, your grandmother and l... 1271 01:17:33.954 --> 01:17:36.081 are thinking about having
a wedding gift museum. 1272 01:17:36.164 --> 01:17:38.500 [Chuckles] 1273 01:17:38.583 --> 01:17:41.544 - Stop.
- What? 1274 01:17:41.627 --> 01:17:44.463 Stop. Don't say
another word like that. 1275 01:17:44.546 --> 01:17:46.465 - Maggie, it was just a joke.
- No! 1276 01:17:46.548 --> 01:17:49.968 It's humiliating,
and it's gone on long enough. 1277 01:17:50.051 --> 01:17:54.555 You may not like that
you have a daughter with problems. 1278 01:17:54.638 --> 01:17:57.557 But guess what. 1279 01:17:57.641 --> 01:18:01.144 I don't like that I have a father
who's drunk all the time. 1280 01:18:03.521 --> 01:18:05.522 I'll eat in my room. 1281 01:18:09.776 --> 01:18:12.403 [Cindy] Tell me why Maggie's
having another rehearsal, 1282 01:18:12.487 --> 01:18:14.113 and two days before the wedding. 1283 01:18:14.196 --> 01:18:15.864 She's already done this. 1284 01:18:15.906 --> 01:18:19.201 [Peggy] Well, Bob insisted
she visualize the ceremony. 1285 01:18:19.242 --> 01:18:23.996 Okay, we're ready.
You want me to have Ike leave now? 1286 01:18:24.080 --> 01:18:26.707 Actually,
let's make Ike the pastor. 1287 01:18:26.790 --> 01:18:28.291 Uh, I'd rather not. 1288 01:18:28.375 --> 01:18:31.377 No, it'll give you a great view.
I think it's perfect. 1289 01:18:31.461 --> 01:18:34.130 - Hey.
- Okay. 1290 01:18:34.213 --> 01:18:37.049 Team effort, Pastor Ike. 1291 01:18:37.132 --> 01:18:40.176 - He's gonna be the pastor?
- Yes. Yes. 1292 01:18:40.260 --> 01:18:45.097 Because I want him front and center
so he can just see everything. 1293 01:18:45.181 --> 01:18:47.933 - Right up there. That's it.
- Okay. 1294 01:18:48.016 --> 01:18:50.894 - Cindy, foyer.
- Okay. 1295 01:18:50.977 --> 01:18:54.230 [Exhales] 1296 01:18:54.272 --> 01:18:56.232 Ready? 1297 01:18:56.273 --> 01:18:59.276 What happened at the luau? 1298 01:18:59.318 --> 01:19:04.405 I-- I don't-- I don't wanna
talk about the luau, okay? 1299 01:19:04.489 --> 01:19:07.950 - What is this?
- It's for the bell. 1300 01:19:08.033 --> 01:19:10.243 - Bob's in a hurry.
- Oh. 1301 01:19:10.285 --> 01:19:13.913 - [Bob] Girls!
- Okay, Maggie, remember what Bob said. 1302 01:19:13.997 --> 01:19:16.123 - Let us visualize. Be the ball.
- Sink the putt. 1303 01:19:16.207 --> 01:19:18.751 - Make the shot.
- Nothin' but net. 1304 01:19:18.834 --> 01:19:20.877 - Never say die.
- Move your butts. 1305 01:19:20.961 --> 01:19:25.882 - [Bob] Girls, where are you?
- On our way, Coach. 1306 01:19:25.965 --> 01:19:27.925 [Sighs] 1307 01:19:27.967 --> 01:19:30.677 The bell. Ooh. 1308 01:19:30.761 --> 01:19:33.972 - [Bell Ringing]
- Whoa! 1309 01:19:34.055 --> 01:19:39.059 - [Ringing Continues]
- [Maggie Yelling] 1310 01:19:39.143 --> 01:19:42.479 Ooh. Agh! 1311 01:19:44.147 --> 01:19:45.440 What's she doing? 1312 01:19:45.523 --> 01:19:48.400 She's being the bell
instead of the ball. 1313 01:19:50.319 --> 01:19:53.947 Sanctuary. Sanctuary. 1314 01:19:53.988 --> 01:19:56.407 Mags, you okay? 1315 01:20:01.328 --> 01:20:03.288 Anyway-- 1316 01:20:04.122 --> 01:20:06.290 Oh.
[Sniffs] 1317 01:20:08.042 --> 01:20:12.337 %[Organ, "The Wedding March"] 1318 01:20:21.345 --> 01:20:25.598 At this pace,
this could become an evening wedding. 1319 01:20:25.682 --> 01:20:28.893 Okay, okay.
You know something? It's great. 1320 01:20:28.976 --> 01:20:32.938 I think we're taking this a little
too fast. You're tensing. You feel it? 1321 01:20:33.021 --> 01:20:35.148 Right? 1322 01:20:35.231 --> 01:20:38.484 We just need to limber you up
for a second. Ike, come here. 1323 01:20:38.568 --> 01:20:42.070 You're me. Stand here so
she knows how far she's gotta come. 1324 01:20:42.154 --> 01:20:45.156 Honey, I'm gonna walk
with you. Okay? 1325 01:20:45.240 --> 01:20:48.618 Now he's the groom? 1326 01:20:48.701 --> 01:20:50.870 Just relax.
Remember, visualize. 1327 01:20:50.953 --> 01:20:53.455 Visualize.
Relax. Limber. 1328 01:21:00.127 --> 01:21:02.504 You are the football,
spiraling through the air... 1329 01:21:02.546 --> 01:21:06.800 -%[Organ Continues]
- into the waiting hands of the groom. 1330 01:21:06.883 --> 01:21:10.970 I'm spiraling
through the air. 1331 01:21:11.053 --> 01:21:13.055 I am... 1332 01:21:14.556 --> 01:21:17.725 streaking... 1333 01:21:17.809 --> 01:21:21.979 toward the... goal line. 1334 01:21:27.650 --> 01:21:30.820 [Bob]
Keep eye contact. Keep eye contact. 1335 01:21:30.903 --> 01:21:32.821 And I land on the goal line. 1336 01:21:32.905 --> 01:21:35.699 [Bob]
Good. Good. 1337 01:21:35.782 --> 01:21:38.451 Okay, I'm the pastor
and I say, "Dearly beloved, 1338 01:21:38.535 --> 01:21:40.786 "we're gathered here,
blah, blah, blah, blah, 1339 01:21:40.870 --> 01:21:42.955 "so on and so forth,
rat-a-tat-tat, yabba-dabba. 1340 01:21:43.038 --> 01:21:45.290 I now pronounce you man and wife." 1341 01:21:45.374 --> 01:21:47.751 Kiss the bride.
We have the organ crescendo. 1342 01:21:47.834 --> 01:21:51.087 That just leads us
right on down the aisle. 1343 01:21:51.170 --> 01:21:53.756 And we are man and-- 1344 01:22:07.058 --> 01:22:09.310 % [Organ Stops] 1345 01:22:09.394 --> 01:22:11.979 No! 1346 01:22:12.063 --> 01:22:14.606 Maggie? 1347 01:22:14.690 --> 01:22:16.692 Uh, Mag-- 1348 01:22:19.903 --> 01:22:22.154 [Laughs] 1349 01:22:22.196 --> 01:22:24.156 Okay, okay, okay. 1350 01:22:24.198 --> 01:22:27.367 So if you were imagining me,
y-you did great. 1351 01:22:27.451 --> 01:22:29.285 What the hell were you doing? 1352 01:22:29.369 --> 01:22:32.079 Bob, I'm really sorry.
She... kissed me back. 1353 01:22:32.163 --> 01:22:35.207 - I kissed you back?
- Yes, you did. You kissed me back. 1354 01:22:35.291 --> 01:22:37.417 Yeah, caught that. 1355 01:22:37.501 --> 01:22:40.295 You wanna tell me how long
this has been goin' on? 1356 01:22:40.378 --> 01:22:44.548 - About a minute.
- Longer for me. 1357 01:22:44.632 --> 01:22:46.592 Really? 1358 01:22:46.675 --> 01:22:49.636 What do you expect me
to say to this? 1359 01:22:49.719 --> 01:22:52.930 - Hello.
- Well, Bob, you could say, 1360 01:22:53.014 --> 01:22:55.891 "Well, I hope you two
will be really happy together." 1361 01:22:58.477 --> 01:23:01.980 I hope you two will be
really happy together. 1362 01:23:03.606 --> 01:23:06.525 - [Groaning]
- Uh, take care of him. 1363 01:23:06.567 --> 01:23:09.111 - Are you okay?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1364 01:23:12.322 --> 01:23:15.950 Bob! Bob! 1365 01:23:16.033 --> 01:23:18.535 Bob, I'm sorry. I-I'm-- 1366 01:23:18.619 --> 01:23:22.580 At least this time I backed out
before the wedding. That's progress. 1367 01:23:22.664 --> 01:23:24.749 You are gonna find some woman... 1368 01:23:24.832 --> 01:23:28.627 who can make you so much happier
than I ever could. 1369 01:23:28.710 --> 01:23:31.713 - Look out!
- Ooh, see? 1370 01:23:31.796 --> 01:23:33.756 See? It's happening already. 1371 01:23:33.840 --> 01:23:35.841 - She's good with needy men.
- Yeah. 1372 01:23:35.925 --> 01:23:38.677 Uh, yeah. 1373 01:23:38.760 --> 01:23:43.014 - Well, um... why don't you...
- Yeah. 1374 01:23:43.097 --> 01:23:46.684 - just call me later.
- Okay. 1375 01:23:46.767 --> 01:23:50.270 Bob, this may not be a good time,
but here's my number. 1376 01:23:50.354 --> 01:23:54.899 [Cindy]
Drive safely, Bob! 1377 01:23:54.941 --> 01:23:57.693 Kid wants to lock up, go home. 1378 01:23:57.776 --> 01:24:00.112 [Car Driving Away] 1379 01:24:00.153 --> 01:24:02.822 - How's Bob?
- Mmm. 1380 01:24:02.906 --> 01:24:06.617 - Okay.
- [Tires Screeching] 1381 01:24:06.701 --> 01:24:09.161 So, what just happened just now? 1382 01:24:09.244 --> 01:24:12.622 - Then... in there?
- I don't know. I, I, I-- 1383 01:24:12.706 --> 01:24:16.751 Frankly, I don't even
want to talk about it. 1384 01:24:16.834 --> 01:24:18.794 Me neither. 1385 01:24:23.631 --> 01:24:25.800 Wait, wait, wait. Wait. 1386 01:24:25.883 --> 01:24:30.220 - No, no, no. No, wait. Stop.
- Mmm? Mmm? 1387 01:24:30.304 --> 01:24:33.056 No, no, no, no.
We gotta-- We have to talk. 1388 01:24:33.139 --> 01:24:37.101 We have to talk. We have to do
some talking now, all right? 1389 01:24:37.143 --> 01:24:40.312 Just-- Come over here.
Pull up a-- 1390 01:24:40.396 --> 01:24:43.398 - Pull up a rail.
- I was enjoying the-- Okay. 1391 01:24:43.481 --> 01:24:47.944 All right. Just give me
a little space here. 1392 01:24:47.985 --> 01:24:49.320 Okay. 1393 01:24:51.113 --> 01:24:53.031 All right.
[Sighs] 1394 01:24:57.452 --> 01:24:59.912 Do you think may-- 1395 01:25:02.372 --> 01:25:05.166 Well, you do have a dress. 1396 01:25:06.918 --> 01:25:09.045 And the church. 1397 01:25:09.128 --> 01:25:11.338 And the wedding date. 1398 01:25:11.422 --> 01:25:14.257 Then there's the two of us. 1399 01:25:15.258 --> 01:25:17.844 Maybe-- 1400 01:25:21.263 --> 01:25:25.892 You do have to go down the aisle
with somebody... 1401 01:25:25.975 --> 01:25:28.436 that you love, 1402 01:25:28.519 --> 01:25:31.605 - and who loves you back.
- Who? 1403 01:25:49.370 --> 01:25:51.455 I'm okay with that. 1404 01:25:55.250 --> 01:25:57.335 So am l. 1405 01:26:00.546 --> 01:26:03.298 [Laughs] 1406 01:26:05.759 --> 01:26:08.219 I'm getting married. 1407 01:26:18.394 --> 01:26:20.188 Do you do this often? 1408 01:26:20.271 --> 01:26:23.315 Well, there's not a lot
to do around here. 1409 01:26:23.399 --> 01:26:26.568 I just believe
he's listening to you. 1410 01:26:26.651 --> 01:26:29.487 His hair, any color. 1411 01:26:29.571 --> 01:26:31.614 I like his tight butt. 1412 01:26:31.697 --> 01:26:35.200 - Grandma.
- Well, I do! 1413 01:26:35.284 --> 01:26:38.244 I'll see you at the wedding. Right?
You're gonna be there, huh? 1414 01:26:38.328 --> 01:26:42.081 - Thirty-seven hours.
- I didn't miss the first one. 1415 01:26:42.164 --> 01:26:45.667 We're gonna spend part of the time here
in town 'cause he wants to write a book. 1416 01:26:45.751 --> 01:26:47.961 You always wanted
to write a novel. 1417 01:26:48.044 --> 01:26:51.798 I feel inspired here.
I feel like I can write. I wanna write. 1418 01:26:51.881 --> 01:26:54.383 Ike is getting married. 1419 01:26:54.425 --> 01:26:57.594 Hah! Ooh! Ooh! 1420 01:26:57.677 --> 01:27:00.013 Fisher, if you pee on the Persian,
I'm gonna kill you. 1421 01:27:00.096 --> 01:27:03.099 Hi. It's him.
He's on the phone. 1422 01:27:08.061 --> 01:27:11.606 - Hi. [Laughs]
- Hi. 1423 01:27:11.689 --> 01:27:14.275 - What are you doin'?
- Nothin'. 1424 01:27:14.358 --> 01:27:15.943 Pick that up. 1425 01:27:16.026 --> 01:27:17.944 - [Ike] What are you doing?
- It's all right. 1426 01:27:18.028 --> 01:27:22.156 - Nothin'.
- Wow. I see the most beautiful girl. 1427 01:27:22.240 --> 01:27:25.951 [Whispers]
He can see me. 1428 01:27:26.035 --> 01:27:28.453 Bet's up! 1429 01:27:28.537 --> 01:27:30.580 Aah! Double jack! 1430 01:27:30.663 --> 01:27:35.209 You were trying to cheat!
It doesn't work! 1431 01:27:35.292 --> 01:27:40.755 [Female Singers] % Get to me
magically sure as the sky is blue % 1432 01:27:40.797 --> 01:27:43.091 Ah. Oh, my God.
[Screams] 1433 01:27:43.174 --> 01:27:46.343 I'm the winner!
[Laughing] 1434 01:27:46.427 --> 01:27:48.595 Now, this is
a mature relationship. 1435 01:27:48.679 --> 01:27:52.640 % Acting erratically
Need you fanatically % 1436 01:27:52.682 --> 01:27:58.478 % You get to me magically
sure as the sky is blue % 1437 01:28:00.063 --> 01:28:04.525 % Baby, I love you % 1438 01:28:04.609 --> 01:28:07.444 % Do you love me too % 1439 01:28:09.154 --> 01:28:12.490 % Baby, I love you % 1440 01:28:12.574 --> 01:28:14.492 [Church Bells Ringing] 1441 01:28:14.575 --> 01:28:18.412 [Reporter Dina] Wedding bells
are ringing today in Hale, Maryland. 1442 01:28:18.495 --> 01:28:22.707 Maggie Carpenter, always a bride,
never a bridesmaid, is attempting... 1443 01:28:22.791 --> 01:28:25.084 to complete
her fourth wedding ceremony. 1444 01:28:25.168 --> 01:28:28.003 We'll be back when results are in.
Back to you, Jessica. 1445 01:28:28.045 --> 01:28:30.213 The turnout for this morning's
ceremony is... 1446 01:28:30.297 --> 01:28:32.424 usually saved
for royalty or movie stars, 1447 01:28:32.507 --> 01:28:35.384 but Maggie Carpenter
is Hale, Maryland's very own star. 1448 01:28:35.468 --> 01:28:37.761 T-shirts here.
I got, "Bye, Bye, Bride-ee." 1449 01:28:37.845 --> 01:28:40.180 I got, "What Part of 'l Do'
Don't You Understand?" 1450 01:28:40.264 --> 01:28:42.891 Get your "Runaway Bride"
T-shirts here. 1451 01:28:42.974 --> 01:28:44.475 Will she or won't she? 1452 01:28:44.517 --> 01:28:47.019 That is on the minds of several
hundred folks standing here, 1453 01:28:47.061 --> 01:28:51.189 not to mention on the mind of groom
number four, who is missing in action. 1454 01:28:51.273 --> 01:28:54.192 - He's gonna stand me up.
- Of course he's gonna come, 1455 01:28:54.275 --> 01:28:57.945 because today I saw
eight geese flying in a "V" 1456 01:28:58.028 --> 01:29:00.072 You with the lucky geese!
You always see geese! 1457 01:29:00.155 --> 01:29:01.323 Not eight! 1458 01:29:01.365 --> 01:29:04.325 - And in a "V"
- Eight is better? 1459 01:29:04.367 --> 01:29:08.204 - Eight in a "V" Can you imagine?
- "V" "V" for, uh-- 1460 01:29:08.287 --> 01:29:11.415 - Victory? Victory!
- Great! 1461 01:29:11.498 --> 01:29:14.125 - And... Velcro?
- Okay. 1462 01:29:14.209 --> 01:29:16.044 Velcro! Stick together! 1463 01:29:16.127 --> 01:29:20.047 - Virginal.
- No, no. 1464 01:29:20.130 --> 01:29:23.467 I-I'm sweaty, I'm nervous.
Where are my bags? 1465 01:29:23.633 --> 01:29:25.760 - Okay. No.
- No bags. Bags are for later. 1466 01:29:25.844 --> 01:29:29.638 - Rub your ears.
- Rub your ears. That's a great idea. 1467 01:29:29.722 --> 01:29:34.434 That's a very good idea. Rub your ears.
Cory does that to me sometimes. 1468 01:29:34.476 --> 01:29:38.437 - A little "ooo," and you just "whoo."
- We do it to the dog. 1469 01:29:38.479 --> 01:29:40.814 [Vendor]
Get your "I don't think she will" shirt. 1470 01:29:40.898 --> 01:29:43.650 These shirts are not sold in stores. 1471 01:29:43.734 --> 01:29:46.277 [Excited Chattering] 1472 01:29:46.319 --> 01:29:49.655 - Here comes Ike Graham!
- Show time. 1473 01:29:51.990 --> 01:29:55.493 That's better.
It's pretty nice, actually. 1474 01:29:55.577 --> 01:29:57.954 - Yeah, it's nice.
- He's here! 1475 01:29:57.995 --> 01:30:01.540 [Screams]
Oh, the ear! Ahh! I see him! 1476 01:30:01.624 --> 01:30:03.959 Ike Graham has arrived at church. 1477 01:30:04.001 --> 01:30:06.169 [Excited Chattering] 1478 01:30:06.252 --> 01:30:08.296 - Is this your first marriage?
- Is this your last marriage? 1479 01:30:08.379 --> 01:30:10.381 [Male Reporter]
Any little Grahams in the future? 1480 01:30:10.464 --> 01:30:12.299 [Cory] Oh, he gets whacked! 1481 01:30:12.341 --> 01:30:15.260 - All right, okay.
- This is such a good sign. 1482 01:30:15.343 --> 01:30:17.095 All right! Okay! 1483 01:30:17.178 --> 01:30:19.472 Get this--
Who makes this stuff? 1484 01:30:19.514 --> 01:30:23.350 - The veil is not attacking you.
- Okay, okay. 1485 01:30:23.434 --> 01:30:28.062 - Now is the time to calm down.
- Yes, okay. 1486 01:30:28.146 --> 01:30:32.149 Cause if you don't get calm,
we won't get your dress on. 1487 01:30:32.191 --> 01:30:34.860 A girl can't get married in flannel. 1488 01:30:37.112 --> 01:30:41.240 He's the one.
He really is the one. 1489 01:30:41.324 --> 01:30:44.368 - [Excited Chattering]
- You're not invited. 1490 01:30:44.451 --> 01:30:46.578 Go back to New York.
Get outta here. 1491 01:30:46.661 --> 01:30:49.414 - He's the one!
- [Excited Giggling] 1492 01:30:49.497 --> 01:30:50.832 He's the one! 1493 01:30:50.873 --> 01:30:53.417 We gotta hurry 'cause
the Sunday school kids are coming. 1494 01:30:53.500 --> 01:30:55.460 - Mrs. Pressman.
- There's no microphone. 1495 01:30:55.544 --> 01:30:59.505 - Please, put it there. No, no fun.
- You're no fun. 1496 01:30:59.547 --> 01:31:01.507 I was gonna do
this Scorsese thing-- 1497 01:31:01.549 --> 01:31:04.343 - Whatever. Just do it. Shoot, shoot.
- Ike. 1498 01:31:04.385 --> 01:31:08.471 Friends! Oh, God! 1499 01:31:08.555 --> 01:31:11.182 Thank you, thank you,
thank you. 1500 01:31:11.224 --> 01:31:15.727 - Thank you. We are friends, aren't we?
- Of course we are. 1501 01:31:15.811 --> 01:31:18.605 - You'll be my best man.
- Good, but I'm not sure I'm the best. 1502 01:31:18.688 --> 01:31:20.857 Go see the pastor.
He'll tell you what to do. 1503 01:31:20.898 --> 01:31:21.899 All right. 1504 01:31:21.983 --> 01:31:24.652 If someone will tell me
what to do. 1505 01:31:24.735 --> 01:31:26.820 Mmm. You always
looked great in that suit. 1506 01:31:26.903 --> 01:31:29.364 And, Ike? 1507 01:31:29.406 --> 01:31:32.074 I'm happy for you, honey. 1508 01:31:32.158 --> 01:31:36.036 I have a car out back for you
in case she decides to run. 1509 01:31:37.287 --> 01:31:40.123 I have an invitation.
Lou! He's with me. 1510 01:31:44.960 --> 01:31:46.920 You look terrible. 1511 01:31:47.004 --> 01:31:50.090 Thanks. 1512 01:31:50.173 --> 01:31:52.425 Here. 1513 01:31:52.467 --> 01:31:55.886 - Ike, I'm glad it's you.
- Really? 1514 01:31:55.928 --> 01:31:57.930 I wouldn't want to have
found out... 1515 01:31:58.013 --> 01:32:00.432 I wasn't the one
for her in the fourth quarter. 1516 01:32:03.267 --> 01:32:06.520 Well, Coach,
any final advice? 1517 01:32:07.563 --> 01:32:10.065 Maintain eye contact. 1518 01:32:10.106 --> 01:32:14.360 Eye contact.
Eye contact. Eye contact. 1519 01:32:30.081 --> 01:32:32.000 [Whispering]
What have you got going on here? 1520 01:32:32.083 --> 01:32:35.378 You wanna look just special
for the wedding. 1521 01:32:35.461 --> 01:32:39.089 You should thank me and Lou for
lending you the wedding car. '63 Buick. 1522 01:32:39.172 --> 01:32:40.674 Thank you, Mrs. Trout. 1523 01:32:40.757 --> 01:32:43.134 What are you saying?
We're practically family. 1524 01:32:43.218 --> 01:32:46.929 - How's that there?
- My name is Fisher. What's yours? 1525 01:32:46.971 --> 01:32:50.307 Nice. Betty.
That doesn't want to come out, does it? 1526 01:32:50.390 --> 01:32:52.767 - You just pulled a hair from my neck.
- There we are. 1527 01:32:52.809 --> 01:32:55.853 -Mrs. Trout, please. This is my wedding.
-Yes. 1528 01:32:55.937 --> 01:32:57.855 Sit down. Thank you.
We're starting soon. 1529 01:32:57.938 --> 01:33:00.607 - Who was that?
- Mrs. Trout. 1530 01:33:00.649 --> 01:33:02.692 - He doesn't have a--
- Don't do-- Don't. 1531 01:33:02.776 --> 01:33:05.695 I just want that to be able to--
Fold it in the pocket. 1532 01:33:05.778 --> 01:33:10.115 - Right in the pocket.
- Please! Just go-- [Sighs] 1533 01:33:10.157 --> 01:33:14.285 - Good luck, sweet girl.
- Oh, thank you, Grandma. I love you. 1534 01:33:14.327 --> 01:33:18.122 - I'm really rooting for this one.
- Okay, Dad. 1535 01:33:18.164 --> 01:33:20.582 [Cory]
The place is packed... 1536 01:33:20.666 --> 01:33:22.918 with the whole town of Hale
on the bride's side, 1537 01:33:23.001 --> 01:33:27.421 and with many
New Yorkers on the groom's side. 1538 01:33:27.505 --> 01:33:30.466 - Is this taken?
- No. 1539 01:33:30.549 --> 01:33:33.009 I'm Elaine from Manhattan. 1540 01:33:33.051 --> 01:33:35.720 - I'm Bob, Maggie's fourth attempt.
- I'm sorry. 1541 01:33:35.803 --> 01:33:39.556 That's okay.
There's a lid for every pot. 1542 01:33:39.640 --> 01:33:43.018 And I'm comfortable with Ike. 1543 01:33:43.059 --> 01:33:47.813 It's like Jack Dempsey lost
his heavyweight title to a New Yorker. 1544 01:33:47.855 --> 01:33:51.150 Right. Gene Tunney. 1545 01:33:52.526 --> 01:33:54.486 - Whoa.
- Spit! 1546 01:33:55.862 --> 01:33:57.780 Let's go. 1547 01:33:59.240 --> 01:34:03.368 Uh, okay. No sauntering down the aisle.
I don't like that. 1548 01:34:03.452 --> 01:34:06.412 - Make time. Just get there. Just go.
- Fine. 1549 01:34:06.496 --> 01:34:08.789 % [Organ] 1550 01:34:19.715 --> 01:34:21.717 All rise, please. 1551 01:34:27.055 --> 01:34:29.890 % ["The Wedding March"] 1552 01:34:38.689 --> 01:34:40.733 The bride is walking
down the aisle. 1553 01:34:40.816 --> 01:34:44.236 Maggie Carpenter
is walking down the aisle. 1554 01:34:44.319 --> 01:34:47.280 [Crowd Gasping] 1555 01:34:48.906 --> 01:34:52.701 - Oh, she's pausing.
- Stay with me. 1556 01:34:52.743 --> 01:34:54.703 [Bob]
Keep eye contact. 1557 01:34:54.745 --> 01:34:56.913 [Relieved Chuckling] 1558 01:35:05.796 --> 01:35:08.590 [Pastor]
Please be seated. Thank you. 1559 01:35:08.673 --> 01:35:11.008 I sneaked in a camera. 1560 01:35:11.092 --> 01:35:13.927 We are gathered here today-- 1561 01:35:14.011 --> 01:35:15.262 Please, no cameras. 1562 01:35:15.345 --> 01:35:19.390 Could we hold off photos
until the end of the ceremony? 1563 01:35:19.432 --> 01:35:20.850 Thank you. 1564 01:35:22.101 --> 01:35:24.144 No. 1565 01:35:24.228 --> 01:35:27.772 - [Pastor] Where's she going?
- [Ike] Don't. 1566 01:35:27.856 --> 01:35:31.776 - Maggie!
- Block the doors! 1567 01:35:33.235 --> 01:35:35.862 No, Maggie, don't! 1568 01:35:42.201 --> 01:35:44.745 Oh, never a dull moment
at a Maggie wedding. 1569 01:35:44.787 --> 01:35:46.872 There's a man coming with
lots of candy in his pocket. 1570 01:35:46.955 --> 01:35:49.833 If you tickle him, he'll give you all
his candy. Here you go, little queen. 1571 01:35:49.916 --> 01:35:52.418 - Maggie!
-Just tickle him. 1572 01:35:54.128 --> 01:35:57.798 - [Children] Give us some candy!
- Whoa. No, not me. 1573 01:35:57.881 --> 01:36:00.758 Get the naughty bride.
Naughty bride. 1574 01:36:00.800 --> 01:36:04.094 No, no.
It's an Armani suit. 1575 01:36:06.305 --> 01:36:08.723 Wait! 1576 01:36:10.558 --> 01:36:12.351 - Wait!
- Maggie! 1577 01:36:13.561 --> 01:36:15.938 Go. Go. Go, go. 1578 01:36:17.314 --> 01:36:20.942 Maggie! Maggie! 1579 01:36:20.984 --> 01:36:24.320 Don't do it! Don't! 1580 01:36:24.403 --> 01:36:26.321 Maggie! 1581 01:36:26.405 --> 01:36:29.616 - He's running after her.
- He's in pretty good shape too. 1582 01:36:29.658 --> 01:36:33.244 Maggie! No, Maggie! 1583 01:36:33.327 --> 01:36:35.246 Where do you think she's going? 1584 01:36:35.329 --> 01:36:37.664 Wherever it is,
she'll be there by 1 0:30 tomorrow. 1585 01:36:39.916 --> 01:36:42.126 Maggie! No! 1586 01:36:47.506 --> 01:36:49.466 Maggie! 1587 01:36:49.508 --> 01:36:52.468 No! No! 1588 01:36:52.510 --> 01:36:55.054 Maggie! 1589 01:37:00.684 --> 01:37:02.852 Mr. Graham! Mr. Graham! 1590 01:37:05.688 --> 01:37:09.441 [Mooing] 1591 01:37:09.524 --> 01:37:12.152 - Mr. Graham, what is your next move?
- How do you feel now? 1592 01:37:12.193 --> 01:37:14.487 - What will you do?
- I know you must feel terrible. 1593 01:37:14.529 --> 01:37:16.614 [Chattering Continues] 1594 01:37:16.697 --> 01:37:19.992 - Mr. Graham, talk to us.
- That's enough. 1595 01:37:20.033 --> 01:37:22.035 Come on. Leave him alone. 1596 01:37:29.708 --> 01:37:32.127 "Hardware Honey
Goes Nuts and Bolts." 1597 01:37:32.210 --> 01:37:34.128 How many times
is she gonna do this? 1598 01:37:38.549 --> 01:37:42.427 % Aura Lee % 1599 01:37:42.510 --> 01:37:45.930 - % Aura Lee %
- [Cory] Finally, in local news, 1600 01:37:46.013 --> 01:37:49.141 the mayor has requested that we all
stop gossiping about last week's... 1601 01:37:49.224 --> 01:37:52.060 Maggie Carpenter "almost wedding." 1602 01:37:52.102 --> 01:37:55.188 This is Cory Flemming
for W-HALE saying... 1603 01:37:55.271 --> 01:37:58.065 may the good Lord make you smart
enough to live in a small town. 1604 01:37:58.149 --> 01:38:00.109 And we cut. 1605 01:38:00.192 --> 01:38:03.028 [Lee]
Camera loves ya. 1606 01:38:04.904 --> 01:38:07.740 - Hey, you okay?
- Yeah. 1607 01:38:07.823 --> 01:38:10.242 I'm closing.
You wanna go to Butch's for a drink? 1608 01:38:10.325 --> 01:38:13.286 Uh, you know,
I'm gonna finish up here, 1609 01:38:13.370 --> 01:38:15.413 and then I think
I'll just head home. 1610 01:38:15.496 --> 01:38:17.498 Okay. 1611 01:38:19.291 --> 01:38:21.960 You know, 1612 01:38:22.044 --> 01:38:24.796 I was thinking about
that "V" thing. 1613 01:38:24.879 --> 01:38:27.840 And I think
the "V" in the geese... 1614 01:38:27.924 --> 01:38:32.594 was half of a "W" for-- 1615 01:38:32.678 --> 01:38:34.596 For, uh-- 1616 01:38:34.679 --> 01:38:38.808 - W-W-What are you talking about?
- Wedding! Wedding. 1617 01:38:38.849 --> 01:38:42.603 You just gotta get
the rest of your ducks in a row. 1618 01:38:44.354 --> 01:38:46.856 Thank you. 1619 01:38:50.192 --> 01:38:52.319 - So you still think that he--
- You're quick. 1620 01:38:52.402 --> 01:38:55.113 You're very quick. 1621 01:39:00.159 --> 01:39:03.161 [Sighs] 1622 01:39:13.962 --> 01:39:16.798 [Male Singer]
% I thought that % 1623 01:39:16.881 --> 01:39:21.510 % You'd be loving me % 1624 01:39:21.594 --> 01:39:27.307 % I thought you were the one
who'd stay forever % 1625 01:39:28.850 --> 01:39:34.146 % But now forever's
come and gone % 1626 01:39:34.229 --> 01:39:39.817 %And I'm still here alone % 1627 01:39:41.068 --> 01:39:44.696 % 'Cause you were only playin' % 1628 01:39:44.780 --> 01:39:47.991 % You were only playin'
with my heart % 1629 01:39:48.074 --> 01:39:51.744 % I was never waiting % 1630 01:39:51.827 --> 01:39:55.998 % I was never waiting
for the tears to start % 1631 01:39:56.081 --> 01:40:00.209 % It was you % 1632 01:40:00.251 --> 01:40:03.712 % Who put the clouds around me % 1633 01:40:03.796 --> 01:40:07.257 % It was you % 1634 01:40:07.340 --> 01:40:10.843 % Who made the tears fall down % 1635 01:40:10.927 --> 01:40:14.346 % It was you % 1636 01:40:14.430 --> 01:40:17.849 % Who broke my heart in pieces % 1637 01:40:17.933 --> 01:40:21.686 % It was you, it was you % 1638 01:40:21.769 --> 01:40:26.732 % Who made my blue eyes blue
Ooh, ooh % 1639 01:40:26.815 --> 01:40:29.526 % I never should've trusted you % 1640 01:40:29.609 --> 01:40:32.278 Okay, here we go. 1641 01:40:32.361 --> 01:40:36.448 % I thought that I'd be % 1642 01:40:36.532 --> 01:40:39.492 % All you need % 1643 01:40:39.576 --> 01:40:43.454 % In your eyes I thought
I saw my--% 1644 01:40:43.537 --> 01:40:46.373 - Ike, how's it goin'?
- Hey, Marvin. 1645 01:40:46.457 --> 01:40:48.375 That good, huh? 1646 01:40:48.458 --> 01:40:52.295 % 'Cause you had me
believin' in a lie % 1647 01:40:52.378 --> 01:40:55.256 % Guess I couldn't see it % 1648 01:40:55.297 --> 01:41:00.343 % I guess I couldn't see it
till I saw the light % 1649 01:41:00.427 --> 01:41:03.596 % It was you % 1650 01:41:03.638 --> 01:41:07.349 % It was you % 1651 01:41:07.432 --> 01:41:10.894 % Who put those clouds around me % 1652 01:41:10.977 --> 01:41:14.313 % It was you % 1653 01:41:14.397 --> 01:41:17.983 % Who made the tears fall down % 1654 01:41:18.066 --> 01:41:21.069 % Only you % 1655 01:41:21.152 --> 01:41:25.031 - [Phone Ringing]
-% Who broke my heart in pieces % 1656 01:41:25.114 --> 01:41:27.783 [Answering Machine]
Hi, it's me. 1657 01:41:27.825 --> 01:41:31.786 Leave a message after the beep.
[Machine Beeps] 1658 01:41:31.828 --> 01:41:34.080 [Dial Tone] 1659 01:41:37.833 --> 01:41:39.668 Hello, Ike. 1660 01:41:50.218 --> 01:41:54.597 Don't tell me my doorman
is one of your many admirers? 1661 01:41:56.599 --> 01:41:59.184 I'm making friends with your cat. 1662 01:42:00.519 --> 01:42:02.437 Is it okay that I'm here? 1663 01:42:02.520 --> 01:42:06.315 I don't have much choice
in the matter, do l? 1664 01:42:06.357 --> 01:42:09.485 But, I can't speak for Italics.
Traitor. 1665 01:42:09.568 --> 01:42:11.611 [Purring] 1666 01:42:11.695 --> 01:42:13.488 I don't blame you for being mad. 1667 01:42:13.530 --> 01:42:16.282 Or furious. 1668 01:42:17.366 --> 01:42:20.202 Irate? Livid. 1669 01:42:20.285 --> 01:42:23.038 - [Meowing]
- What is it, Maggie? 1670 01:42:23.121 --> 01:42:25.039 You here on business? 1671 01:42:25.123 --> 01:42:28.459 By the way, I saw your lamps. 1672 01:42:28.542 --> 01:42:32.629 They're terrific. Yeah, really. 1673 01:42:32.712 --> 01:42:35.965 - It's something I've always wanted to--
- [Door Closes] 1674 01:42:36.049 --> 01:42:39.426 You could make breaking and entering
into a new career. 1675 01:42:42.637 --> 01:42:45.348 So, what are you
doing here anyway? 1676 01:42:48.225 --> 01:42:51.770 I wanted to talk to you... 1677 01:42:51.853 --> 01:42:57.024 about why I run, 1678 01:42:57.108 --> 01:43:00.361 sometimes ride, away from things. 1679 01:43:03.155 --> 01:43:05.824 - Does it matter?
- I think so. 1680 01:43:05.907 --> 01:43:07.825 [Clears Throat] 1681 01:43:07.909 --> 01:43:13.080 When I was walking down the aisle,
I was walking toward somebody... 1682 01:43:13.163 --> 01:43:18.876 who had no idea who I really was. 1683 01:43:18.960 --> 01:43:23.797 And it was only half
the other person's fault... 1684 01:43:23.880 --> 01:43:28.634 because I had done everything
to convince him... 1685 01:43:28.718 --> 01:43:30.803 that I was exactly what he wanted. 1686 01:43:30.886 --> 01:43:34.347 So, it was good... 1687 01:43:34.431 --> 01:43:39.227 that I didn't go through with it
because it would've been a lie. 1688 01:43:39.310 --> 01:43:43.021 But you-- 1689 01:43:43.105 --> 01:43:45.565 You knew the real me. 1690 01:43:47.609 --> 01:43:49.527 Yes, I did. 1691 01:43:49.610 --> 01:43:52.112 I didn't. 1692 01:43:53.489 --> 01:43:57.742 Still, I ended up
chasing a truck. 1693 01:44:11.462 --> 01:44:15.382 I can't, um,
do anything about the truck. 1694 01:44:17.342 --> 01:44:19.260 But, uh-- 1695 01:44:23.722 --> 01:44:26.433 - Benedict.
- Arnold. 1696 01:44:26.516 --> 01:44:29.102 I love eggs Benedict. 1697 01:44:29.185 --> 01:44:31.937 I hate all the other
kinds of eggs. 1698 01:44:31.979 --> 01:44:36.191 I hate big weddings,
everybody staring. 1699 01:44:36.274 --> 01:44:39.277 I'd like to get married on
a weekday while everybody's at work. 1700 01:44:39.360 --> 01:44:42.947 And if I ride off into the sunset,
I want my own horse. 1701 01:44:43.030 --> 01:44:45.491 - Should I be writing this down?
- And there's something else. 1702 01:44:45.574 --> 01:44:48.076 No, you can tell me.
Don't-- 1703 01:44:48.159 --> 01:44:50.078 Okay. 1704 01:44:55.082 --> 01:44:57.042 These are for you. 1705 01:45:02.421 --> 01:45:05.424 - Used--
- Well, they're mine. 1706 01:45:05.507 --> 01:45:10.470 I'm turning in
my running shoes to you. 1707 01:45:13.723 --> 01:45:15.641 This is serious. 1708 01:45:15.724 --> 01:45:17.392 And there's one more thing. 1709 01:45:17.476 --> 01:45:20.353 I know, the mind reels that
there could be more after this. 1710 01:45:20.437 --> 01:45:24.440 -But, um, if you could just have a seat.
-[Clears Throat] 1711 01:45:27.776 --> 01:45:31.112 Let's just not have that there. 1712 01:45:31.196 --> 01:45:33.906 Okay. Okay. 1713 01:45:38.910 --> 01:45:42.705 - Oh, no. My, God, no.
- No, no. Don't hide your face. 1714 01:45:42.789 --> 01:45:45.791 This happens once in a lifetime,
and it's definitely a first for me. 1715 01:45:45.875 --> 01:45:48.960 You're not gonna want to miss it,
so pay close attention. 1716 01:45:55.716 --> 01:46:00.303 I love you,
Homer Eisenhower Graham. 1717 01:46:02.972 --> 01:46:04.265 Will you marry me? 1718 01:46:04.265 --> 01:46:05.933 Will you marry me? 1719 01:46:12.313 --> 01:46:14.232 [Laughs] 1720 01:46:15.775 --> 01:46:18.986 I gotta think about this
a little bit. 1721 01:46:19.069 --> 01:46:23.156 - Good. I was hoping you would say that.
- You were not! Not true. 1722 01:46:23.239 --> 01:46:26.158 If you'd said yes, I wouldn't
be able to do this next part... 1723 01:46:26.242 --> 01:46:28.077 and I've been practicing so let me-- 1724 01:46:29.620 --> 01:46:32.122 Okay.
[Exhales] 1725 01:46:32.205 --> 01:46:34.916 - Ready?
- I'm listening. 1726 01:46:38.460 --> 01:46:40.420 [Sighs] 1727 01:46:42.756 --> 01:46:47.551 I guarantee
that we'll have tough times. 1728 01:46:47.593 --> 01:46:50.721 And I guarantee
that at some point... 1729 01:46:50.804 --> 01:46:54.265 one or both of us
will want to get out. 1730 01:46:55.683 --> 01:46:58.519 But I also guarantee... 1731 01:46:58.602 --> 01:47:02.064 that if I don't ask you to be mine, 1732 01:47:02.147 --> 01:47:04.732 I'll regret it
for the rest of my life. 1733 01:47:05.983 --> 01:47:08.444 'Cause I know in my heart... 1734 01:47:08.486 --> 01:47:11.780 you're the only one for me. 1735 01:47:18.828 --> 01:47:21.455 That's a pretty
good speech, Maggie. 1736 01:47:21.538 --> 01:47:24.999 I borrowed it from
this writer I know. 1737 01:47:27.376 --> 01:47:30.045 So? 1738 01:47:43.098 --> 01:47:47.435 %[Miles Davis] 1739 01:47:56.151 --> 01:47:58.611 Dance with me. 1740 01:48:21.755 --> 01:48:24.966 [Pastor] We are gathered here
today to celebrate the union... 1741 01:48:25.008 --> 01:48:28.344 of Maggie Carpenter and Ike Graham. 1742 01:48:40.688 --> 01:48:43.524 - Do you have the rings?
- Yes. 1743 01:48:43.565 --> 01:48:46.776 Do you, Ike, take Maggie
to be your lawfully wedded wife? 1744 01:48:50.321 --> 01:48:52.239 I do. 1745 01:48:52.323 --> 01:48:56.701 Do you, Maggie, take Ike
to be your lawfully wedded husband? 1746 01:48:56.743 --> 01:48:58.703 I do. 1747 01:48:58.745 --> 01:49:01.497 [Pastor]
In this life that you share together, 1748 01:49:01.539 --> 01:49:05.500 may your individuality
strengthen your love. 1749 01:49:05.584 --> 01:49:08.753 With the power vested in me, 1750 01:49:08.837 --> 01:49:13.549 I now pronounce you
husband and wife. 1751 01:49:13.591 --> 01:49:16.468 You may kiss the bride. 1752 01:49:29.687 --> 01:49:31.230 [Applauding] 1753 01:49:46.326 --> 01:49:48.912 Guess what. She did it! 1754 01:49:48.995 --> 01:49:51.247 Maggie Carpenter got married. 1755 01:49:51.331 --> 01:49:53.583 % Alleluia % 1756 01:49:58.545 --> 01:50:01.422 Betty, she did it. She did it!